


We, We Who Were

by Darsynia



Series: Star Crossed [1]
Category: Star Trek: The Next Generation
Genre: Banter, Enemies to Lovers, Episode Tag, Episode: 'Chain of Command', Episode: 'Rascals', Episode: 'True Q', F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friendship, Humor, Jazz - Freeform, Real Life Canon Divergence, Romance, Set After 'True Q', Slow Burn, alternate character history, mentions of Hadestown the musical
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:48:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 119,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22942039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Darsynia/pseuds/Darsynia
Summary: At Starfleet Academy, William Riker used the detailed journals of a historical figure to keep him focused on his studies. This 'long distance girlfriend' seemed real to his classmates, didn't get jealous when he strayed a little, and thanks to her thorough documentation of her own life, he knew enough about her to fool even himself, sometimes. Will left her behind as he moved on with his career.When Q joked about fooling around with time, dressing himself up in the clothing of the same woman's eventual husband, Will worried that her tumultuous life was influenced by the omnipotent trickster. What he didn't expect was for Q to attempt to pull her from the 21st century into their own-- and succeed.Q had assumed he failed. Now Will's ideal woman was on the Enterprise, and she seemed to hate him.
Relationships: William Riker/Original Female Character(s), Worf (Star Trek:TNG/DS9) & Original Female Character Friendship
Series: Star Crossed [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1944094
Comments: 66
Kudos: 29





	1. Earthquake

**Author's Note:**

> Self indulgent? A little. But after watching Picard and remembering just how much I really do love these characters, I decided to write down a version of a story I used to write in my head off and on over many years.
> 
> This follows directly after the events of Season 6, episode 6, True Q. As a refresher: Amanda Rogers was born a Q from Q parents who posed as humans. She ended up being given a choice (after using her powers to save the ship from a warp core breach, trying to seduce Riker and use her powers to make him love her, among other instances) whether to abstain from her powers or become a member of the Q Continuum. She chose to help the Tagran people by cleansing their planet of pollution and stopping a radiation leak on the surface, thus making her choice to become a member of the Continuum.

###  Chapter One: Earthquake

**  
**_Windsor, Elizabeth Anne Frances_  


_ (also known as Sarah Holmes) _

_ Early Life: _

_ The circumstances of Elizabeth’s birth are still shrouded in mystery even centuries later. Historians agree that her parents had a brief, intense affair during which she was conceived. Much like Anne Boleyn, Diana appears to have refused to consummate the relationship before marriage. The certificate, long thought to be lost, is now preserved in the Royal Collection. _

_ Seeing the potential of the relationship if the child could be concealed, the birth was hushed up and the child given an American family to be raised. Diana was introduced to the royal family as a suitable bride for the future king a few months later as if the prior marriage had never happened.  _

_ After the turn of the century, a proposal was made to change the rule of male primogeniture, and as a result, the Prince of Wales’ secret ‘love child’ was discovered. A former employee of the Spencer family spoke to reporters after stealing key documents that were meant to have been destroyed. A DNA test proved that the woman in question was indeed a full-blooded sister to Princes William and Harry. _

_ Elizabeth was treated as an example of the problems inherent in a system of hereditary monarchy when she was discovered, but her intelligence, kindness, and natural diplomacy endeared her to the people. The speech she gave on her second day in the country, widely reported to be written by Elizabeth herself, is regarded as the moment that changed the opinions of many. Her first twenty-five years as an American are detailed in a separate section titled ‘The Life of Sarah Holmes.’ _

8888888888

Commander William Riker was profoundly uncomfortable.

The Tagrans were, to a man, completely overcome with emotion at the unexpected cleansing of their atmosphere. Their technology, designed to overcome the powerful ionization caused by unchecked pollution, was now exceedingly powerful without it. This meant that when a message about their location was sent out, it reached far more citizens than usual, and all of them wanted to see their saviors. Barely five minutes had passed before the control room Will, Geordi, and Orn Lote were located in was full of jubilant and tearful Tagrans. It wasn’t hard to figure out what really happened, but Will was not sure about the morality (or legality, for that matter) of explaining it to them.

“Sir?” Geordi touched his arm. With a respectful nod, Will looked away from the effusive gratitude of another pair of government officials. “Diplomacy is one thing, Commander, but if you’d like, I’m sure I can come up with something to excuse you. I can’t imagine the captain is interested in sharing any details on an open comm.”

“Sparing your curiosity or your embarrassment, Mr. LaForge?” Will couldn’t resist teasing him. “I won’t ask just how terrible my facial expressions must look for you to suggest as much, but I’ll definitely take you up on it.”

“If it’s what I think it is, sir, you’ll be able to beam right out.” Geordi’s smile was sympathetic, and Will clapped him on the shoulder before calling up to the ship.

A few minutes later, Will was in Transporter Room Three. He spent a few minutes speaking over his comm, first to Captain Picard, getting a run-down of the events (which had proceeded as he’d imagined they had, with Amanda embracing her powers as a Q). Next, he requested a team of ship counselors and diplomats to be amassed in order to help the Tagran people cope with the enormity of the miracle that had been granted to them.

He was in the midst of a discussion with Data about the possibility of gathering some engineering crewmembers to help the Tagrans adjust to their new normal when two figures appeared in front of him.

“We expected you on the main bridge, Riker,” Q said in a voice of grand irritation.

“Stop,” Amanda said to Q. Her tone was equal parts annoyed and commanding. 

Will could see the change in her confidence level, saw how the balance of power between the two Q entities ebbed and flowed in a way that probably explained Q’s impatience. He approved.

“Well, go on!” Q said to Amanda.

“Commander,” Amanda said, stepping forward, her old uncertainty showing itself in the way she bit her lip. “I wanted to apologize. I…  _ used you _ to understand my powers. You were very patient in your explanation of why that was wrong, and I didn’t want to leave before I told you that I heard and understood what you were saying.”

“It takes a lot of courage to say that. I have no doubt that your human upbringing--” here, Will made direct eye contact with Q, “--will benefit the Continuum every bit as much as they’ll benefit you.”

“Well now that that’s out of the way, run along and say goodbye to your parents, will you? I’ll be there shortly,” Q said dismissively.

Amanda was faced away from Q and her eye-roll was completely  _ perfect. _ Will allowed himself to smile brightly at her, and her cheeks reddened a bit as she made a complicated-looking gesture and disappeared.

“There, now you’ll get your human influence without having to give anything away,” Will said to Q. 

“‘And nothing of value was lost,’” Q said, looking Will up and down before raising one elegant eyebrow.

8888888888

‘Sarah Holmes’ had always been one to look at the bright side. She’d hated her first name as too common (there were  _ so many Sarahs _ ), but turning her back on that name wasn’t a problem when it turned out she was actually named something else in secret and sent away to another country.

The funny thing was that she’d always loved the name Elizabeth. ‘Sarah’ had precious few nicknames, but Elizabeth abounded in them. On the airplane over to the UK, she’d tried a few out for size. Did she want to go full Elizabeth Bennet and use ‘Eliza’ or ‘Lizzy?’ She didn’t feel like a ‘Liz,’ and ‘Beth’ made her feel like she was destined to die of scarlet fever while her more vivacious siblings went on to write books and marry the rich boy from next door. 

That was the other thing. She wasn’t an only child anymore. She had brothers, two of them. Would they dislike her? Her accent was American, her manners that of a lower middle class household (this had been explained to her as necessary, because any money sent to her family would have been traced, of course, and she was supposed to have  _ stayed a secret. _ As if they couldn’t have sent her with money as a baby in the first place. As if they hadn’t really intended for her to be discovered, and thus she was meant to live in relative poverty in comparison with her full-blood family…).

As the wheels touched down, the woman formerly known as Sarah Holmes decided that she liked the idea of being called Lilly. It was an Elizabeth-adjacent nickname, but different enough that she hoped she wouldn’t be thought of as ‘putting on airs’ or attempting to claim a close association with the most famous of her relatives.

By some major miracle, their flight hadn’t been picked up in the press, but Lilly supposed that the news of her existence had only broken eight hours before, and she’d only found out about everything the day before that. There hadn’t been time to stake out every single airport looking for a twenty-five year old woman with blue eyes and brown or red hair. Hers was  _ blonde, _ much like her true mother’s had been, but according to the discreet handlers that had come to speak with her and spirit her away to the UK, none of the reports speculating on her appearance had guessed that. She was shorter than her true mother, too, at five feet, six inches. 

Lilly drew the line at trying to figure out how many ‘stone’ she weighed. She’d figure that out when she felt British enough to care.

Before Lilly had exited the plane, her hair had been braided expertly and tucked into a baseball cap. None of the clothes she wore on the journey were in any way expensive. The car she was hurried into was, however, and so was the woman who was already riding in it. She looked like a movie version of a no-nonsense private assistant or PR guru, and Lilly was incredibly intimidated by her, especially when she realized that her ‘handlers’ had done their duty by delivering her, and were flying back to the States without even saying goodbye.

“Bless me, but you look like the Queen! Set a brown wig on you and no one will question it,” the woman said, her severe expression opening up into one of approval and surprise as soon as Lilly removed her hat. “I’m May. It’s my job to get you inside without a lot of press attention. You’ve been lucky so far, and not much ground left to cover!”

May turned out to be a delightful dichotomy of matronly good humor and starched severity, depending on who she was speaking to. To further throw off any undue attention, she and Lilly spent the evening at a posh hotel, and Lilly kept her mouth shut the entire time she was in public, just in case her American accent set anyone’s suspicions off. Lilly and May spent the rest of that first day enjoying room service as Lilly basically told the other woman her life story. Certain aspects of it set May off into exclamations of delight-- the fact that her American mother looked a lot like the Queen, Lilly’s love of the name Elizabeth throughout grade school, and her job as a primary school teacher. Other aspects earned Lilly heartfelt hand squeezes, especially the fact that she’d lost her American parents in a car accident six years prior.

By far the thing that seemed to surprise May the most was Lilly’s lack of romantic attachments. She’d been too bookish in high school to bother with boys, mostly, and the loss of her parents just as she’d finished her second year of college had derailed her burgeoning interest in her classmates.

“Don’t get me wrong, I liked a few guys,” Lilly told May, half-way through their second box of chocolate-covered strawberries. “They were just all on the television or in movies. None of the  _ real _ boys seemed anywhere near as interesting.” She pointed at May with the leafy stem, all that remained of her strawberry. “Tell the truth: how grateful are you that I’m not divorced with four kids, or something?”

“Immensely,” May admitted.

The majority of the attention on the ‘love child’ case had been in America, right up until Lilly woke up on her first morning in the UK to find that her name and picture were in the news.

“I think we’ll stay in for a few hours,” May said. She spent those hours on the phone (several of them, actually, each with their own specific ring. Lilly didn’t want to know if any of them were a direct line to her birth family), and Lilly spent those same hours on a speech. She doubted she’d be able to actually give it, assuming that the real thing would be written for her and then handed over, but Lilly told herself that the speechwriters had nothing to go on in terms of knowing what she was like and her speech patterns. It wasn’t really in speech form, just a list of things she was grateful for about her life as it was before, things she imagined were more or less universal between their two countries, like the joy of hearing child successfully sound out an unfamiliar word themselves, or finally filling in the mental map of the streets you grew up on as a driver. She tied everything together in her last paragraph by writing about the way it felt to connect to someone over the internet and find commonality with them even though they were in a different time zone and may have had an entirely different upbringing.

When she was done, it was one PM and she was exhausted. May had let her sleep in, since she’d stayed up till past twelve AM and still had felt like she was going to bed early, in American time. Getting up at ten was still like being awake at an ungodly hour, and spending her subsequent awake time hunched over a desk writing instead of typing had worn Lilly out.

“I don’t know why I am so worried about this, there’s no way anyone on either continent would allow me to give this as a speech,” she told May.

“Can I read it?”

“Yes, but first, give me the phone you said was supposed to be mine?” Lilly asked. May handed it over, and she took a few minutes to work out where the camera was. After taking pictures of each page of her writing, zoomed in to be readable as half-pages, she finally handed it to May.

Not eighteen hours later, Lilly had met her estranged family (and mostly loved them, to her complete shock) and, dressed in clothes that had probably cost more money than her adoptive mother could have made in a year, she gave the speech, word for word.

Six hours after that, Lilly held a newspaper in her hands with a giant picture of her covering the whole front page, with the headline, ‘Welcome Home.’

8888888888

Q’s smugness was almost a physical presence in the room, and while Will knew he shouldn’t goad someone with omnipotent powers, he was far too human to deny himself the pleasure.

“You should have been paying closer attention to her. She could teach you a lot about being gracious when you don’t get what you want,” Will said, resisting the urge to cross his arms. He didn’t want to look uncomfortable in front of Q.

“Surely by now you know that I always get what I want. You just managed to persuade me that  _ you _ weren’t worthy of my gift,” Q said.

“Always?” Will asked quietly. He hated to engage Q, but he also didn’t want Amanda’s goodbye to be cut short by his reckless impatience. Will felt like he owed her that much for the way she’d saved his life.

“Yes, always. Eventually.”

“When you’re immortal, ‘eventually’ can take forever, but whatever you need to tell yourself to get by,” Will said, trying to sound disinterested. He started for the door, but Q appeared directly in front of him, just as he expected.

“You think you handled it better than she did, don’t you? Just because you didn’t participate in any romantic liaisons or conjure secret puppies doesn’t make you the morally superior race!”

Q’s comment was so incongruous to their previous conversation that Will was confused for a few seconds. Then, he realized what must have prompted it.

“Been talking to the captain, I see,” Will said, allowing himself to grin impudently.

Q’s expression turned to one of utter disgust. “I don’t understand what she found so attractive in you.”

“Don’t worry, Q, I don’t think there are any humans who are worried about the fact that you don’t find us attractive.” Will walked over to the transporter controls to check the hour. Did Amanda know that as Q she could halt time? If she didn’t, had he left her enough time for a proper goodbye?

“How ironic then that my interest in your pathetic race was prompted by finding one of your leaders attractive! Do you get tired of being wrong, Riker?”

There was something in the quality of Q’s voice that sounded almost defensive, or possibly vulnerable. Will didn’t necessarily believe his revelation, but he  _ was _ interested in giving Q every possible reason to be too embarrassed to come back to the Enterprise.

“I don’t think immortality would be enough time to persuade Captain Picard to reciprocate, Q. I suggest you give up and move on.” Will looked up only at the very last two words of his statement. Q looked positively affronted.

“You think your attempts at baiting me will succeed? The notion is as ridiculous as your facial hair,” Q said, walking over to the console Will was standing at. “No, Riker, I know what you’re doing. It’s almost sweet, in a way. Maybe she could have won you over in the end.” With a snap of his fingers, Q was wearing a 21st century tuxedo. Another snap, and Will was dressed like a groom in a wedding, again in the 21st century style.

“I’m still on duty, Q,” Will said evenly. He narrowed his eyes in confusion and gestured at his chest. “Why this time period?”

“Amanda chose the Regency, I chose this.” Q snapped his fingers again, and Will’s uniform was back. Knowing the way Q liked to cause trouble, Will checked that his rank was correct at his throat. As usual, Q had chosen a Starfleet uniform for himself, his rank set at ‘only’ a captain, for once.

“Does the Continuum have rules about time travel? Do you harass historical figures just as you harass us?”

“Oh, Riker, you’re showing off the limitations of your imagination, again! With omnipotence comes infinite power, remember? Why bother with rules, if someone else can simply reverse any undesirable changes that were made?” Q smiled and snapped his fingers, transforming his outfit into an exact replica of an image Will remembered from his history lessons. It was also from the 21st century. He knew he’d shown recognition because Q’s expression turned predatory, and he started walking over to stand uncomfortably close to Will. “You recognize this?” Q asked, running his fingertips across the medals on his chest.

“I’d rather I didn’t,” Will said truthfully. The outfit was that of a Prince Consort, the wedding uniform of the man that married a particular historical figure Will himself had always been partial to. Her life story was about as unusual as it could be, and Will felt a bit sick at the idea that perhaps that turmoil had come from Q’s influence, that he’d meddled in her life.

“Your face is completely transparent. I can almost read your thoughts!  _ That _ kind of time travel is  _ boring, _ Commander. I’m more interested in the unattainable.” Q’s glee was sinister; he seemed to love the idea of turning Will’s stomach. A frisson of adrenaline shot through his chest. Would Q seek to damage humanity’s timeline just to get a reaction? Will wouldn’t put it past him. “Here, Riker, drink this, you’ll feel better.”

Q thrust a crystal goblet filled with a bright pink viscous liquid into his hand. It smelled, awfully, of peppermint. Will simply raised his eyebrows.

“What? You don’t trust me? I’m  _ wounded.” _

Will would have loved to pour the liquid out in defiance of Q as Worf had, once. Instead, he took the cup and placed it in the matter deconverter where it fell out of sight, the molecules that made up its existence torn apart.

“The Queen would have drunk it,” Q said, his voice sulky. “That’s all it was! A 20th century remedy for nausea.” Q’s laughter sounded hollow, and Will’s patience was running thin.

“I think I’ve stalled enough. I’m sure Amanda is looking for you.”

“You really did put up with me just to give her more time with her parents! How  _ adorable.” _ Q put one hand on his hip and angled the other as if he were placing his arm around a woman standing beside him. It was a perfect reproduction of the picture Will had seen in world history class. “Your sacrifice requires a sacrifice of my own. I will tell you a secret.”

“I couldn’t possibly be less interested in--”

“Yes you are. It’s related to  _ her,” _ Q said. A hazy, ghost-like reproduction of the woman in the photograph appeared exactly where she belonged. Q looked down at her, and for the first time since Will had encountered him, the Q entity looked almost haunted. His hungry, longing expression was almost too private to witness. Will took a step back.

“Q…” Will started to say, shaking his head. He didn’t know what to say, except perhaps ‘ _ stop, no,’ _ or _ ‘this is too much,’ _ but that would show the exact kind of weakness that would encourage him to continue.

“There’s a legend,” Q said in a hushed voice, his eyes tracing over the woman’s semi-transparent face. “In the Continuum. It’s one thing to stop time-- that creates a mess, especially on an inhabited planet. It’s entirely another thing to interfere in history itself, too little interaction, the events too predictable.”

Unwillingly, Will let himself look at the apparition that seemed to be patiently waiting for Q to finish his story. Despite her transparency, she looked real; her chest moved as she breathed, her hair moved when she turned her head to look at Q. She reminded Will of the holofilms of her life that he’d watched as a young man. He hadn’t liked the man she’d married, not after he’d watched every holofilm in sequence up until that point. She deserved better then, and she definitely deserved better now. He clenched his jaw and looked back at Q instead.

“Looks real, doesn’t she?” Q asked. He gestured, and her transparency filled in, leaving what looked like the real woman standing there quietly. “I wanted that to be enough, but of course it wasn’t. Even if I spent eons building an apparatus that could project a version of her that I wasn’t in control of, it wouldn’t be enough.” Q dropped his arm and stepped back. The woman lifted a hand and pushed back a blonde curl that had fallen into her face. “No, if I want the real thing, I need to do the one thing that the Q can’t. I need to bring her to me.”

“What, pull her out of her own century? Won’t that destroy her timeline? Without her--” Will stopped talking before Q had a chance to interrupt. Her leadership was important to Earth during WWIII.

“Not if I send her back.” Q looked away from the woman toward Will for the first time since he’d conjured her. “I’d make her immortal, just like me. I would send her back a split second before the end of the universe. That might,  _ might _ be enough.”

All Will could do was shake his head. This was a Q whose insanity was even more incomprehensible than it had been in the past. 

“I’ve only tried once, so far,” Q said, snapping his fingers. His outfit and the historical Queen that matched it both disappeared. Q was once again wearing his Starfleet uniform and a disgruntled expression. “I could do it, though.”

“I think if you could do it, you’d have done it already,” Will said impulsively. He wanted to quash Q’s frightening ambition. “That kind of obsession isn’t healthy, even for you.”

“Jealous, Riker? Don’t think I didn’t see recognition in  _ your _ eyes. When I succeed, I’ll be sure to introduce you.”

“Don’t bother,” Will said gruffly. “Go find Amanda and try to let her influence you at least half the amount you try to corrupt her, will you?”

Q didn’t respond. He stood quietly, his eyes shut, brows furrowed. He let out a long, slow breath, and Will couldn’t suppress his eye roll. The second Will turned to leave the room and its insane alien being behind, Q let out a frustrated grunt and snapped his fingers, disappearing in his signature flash of light.

In the doorway, Will reached up to tap his communicator, meaning to tell Geordi that his team of engineers would be ready to beam down within the hour. Behind him, in the empty room, a female voice with an American accent spoke.

“Excuse me?”


	2. Aftershock

###  Chapter Two: Aftershock

Lilly had walked for a half hour, most of which was away from the palace. She hadn’t realized exactly how large the grounds were, nor how much they resembled a park as opposed to organized, rigid gardens. Her fingers were cold, her nose was undoubtedly red, and her hair had mostly fallen out of the haphazard ponytail she’d restrained it with, but she was happy and felt more like herself than she had for days.

The trees in front of her made a kind of canopy by the way they were arched toward each other, and Lilly closed her eyes, tipped her head back, and smiled at the clouded sky as she stepped between them. The first step she took after passing through felt wrong, and when Lilly opened her eyes, she gasped.

She was in a room with no windows. The floor and most of the walls were metallic grey in color, and there was a lighted platform that took up at least half of the room. It was as opposite a space as she could imagine after walking through a cultivated wilderness!

Lilly saw a doorway across the room from where she stood, and standing in it was a tall man who looked as if he were wearing a red and black uniform. 

“Excuse me?” she called out.

The man started in surprise at the sound of her voice, and she could tell that he was not expecting to be spoken to. Slowly, he turned around. His clothing was undoubtedly a uniform, though not one she’d ever seen before. His eyes were piercing blue, and when he saw her, they widened in shock before narrowing in anger.

She knew there were plenty of people in the country who weren’t just wary about her existence, but angry, too. Lilly turned to look for the door she’d entered through and hugged her arms around herself. At least the room was warm, but there was a starkness to the architecture that seemed completely and utterly out of place, just like she was.

“I’m not babysitting your creations, Cue!” the man yelled out. He wasn’t addressing her, but seemed instead to be shouting at the ceiling. That was strange enough, but the odder thing was his voice.

He had an American accent.

“I’m very sorry. I’ve clearly wandered into some sort of a joint military base?” Lilly said awkwardly. As soon as the words left her mouth she cringed. It sounded ridiculous. “You don’t have to say anything, actually. Just show me where the door is and I’ll head out into the garden where I came from without looking back.”

The man frowned deeply and stepped into the room. Behind him, a panel in the wall slid smoothly into place. Lilly tried not to gawk at it, but it was clearly complicated technology. 

“You’re not real,” the man stated flatly. His neatly trimmed beard framed the unhappy look on his face, and his height added to the picture of intimidation he presented. She tried not to stare at him, but his uniform was both obviously military and completely foreign to her.

Lilly looked down, feeling very conscious of just how ridiculous she looked with her thick red wool sweater, hiking boots, and wild hair. “I sympathize with you, I really do,” she said. “It’s obvious that I don’t belong here--”

“I don’t have time for this,” the man said angrily. He started toward her, and Lilly backed up, almost tripping over herself. She wanted to keep an eye on him; he was threatening both physically and as an unknown and unpredictable quantity. At the same time, though, she desperately wished for the courage to search behind her for the door that  _ had _ to be there. Lilly threw back a glance, but the wall just looked like metal paneling with no handles. She’d have to take the time to feel for a latch, time she didn’t think she had.

When Lilly turned back around, the man was almost to her. She threw out her hand to block him and gasped out, “Please, don’t--”

“Are you a hologram, or--” the gruff man demanded as he reached out and grabbed her hand. Again, he looked completely stunned. “Your hands are freezing!” he said, staring first at her hand, then at her face. “And your hair is wet.  _ What?” _

Lilly could feel the cold metal of the wall behind her. The man’s question didn’t seem to be directed at  _ her _ as much as at the incongruities she represented, so, intimidated as she was, she decided to respond to his confusion instead of his anger.

“I was outside,” she explained, slowly reaching her free hand behind her to feel for the edge of the door as she tried to tug her other hand out of his grip. With any luck, that would distract him and she could get away.

Unfortunately, her response seemed to set off his anger again. “You weren’t outside,” he scoffed. “You’re not even  _ real. _ And since your creator isn’t listening, I’m going to put you in the brig until he does!” The soldier (because that had to be what he was, if he was talking about a ‘brig’) released her hand and grabbed her upper arm instead.

Then, he let go of her just as quickly.

“Your clothes are soaked!”

“That’s because I was  _ outside,” _ Lilly said through gritted teeth. “And it’s just my sweater, not everything. It wasn’t really raining, just misting. It’s wool, it soaks it up.”

The soldier made a short, angry noise and walked quickly over to a podium, rummaging in a hidden compartment at its base until he came away with a bag with a metallic sheen.

“Take it off and put it in here.”

Lilly leaned back against the wall as if shocked. She was tracing the edge of the metal sheeting behind her as furtively as possible, desperate to find the door. “What if I don’t have anything on under it?” she demanded, looking up at him with as much dignity as she could muster.

“I can see the collar of the shirt you’ve got on underneath. Do I need to call security? Ugh, this is ridiculous.” He stepped back, turning his body to the side and tapping a badge on his chest. “Riker to Captain Picard. Cue has left behind some sort of solid hologram in the image of a 21st century Earth leader. He’s not responding to me and she’s not responding either. Permission to confine her to the brig?”

His words echoed in Lilly’s mind, incomprehensible and frightening.

_ in the image of a 21st century Earth leader _

_ 21st century Earth leader _

Suddenly the room around Lilly seemed much more ominous than it had before, and so did the man. The description sent a chill through her, and the possibilities of what his words implied felt like they had soaked into her sweater instead of the rain.

_ 21st century _

“I’m on my way, Number One,” a voice responded in an unmistakable English accent.

“Well, at least  _ one _ of you is British,” Lilly said acidly. The soldier looked over at her, and she wrestled herself out of her heavy red sweater and stuffed it into the bag. Thanks to the absorbency of the wool, her white embroidered shirt was dry, which she was incredibly grateful for, now. Her fingers were still a bit chilled, but she pulled her ponytail free and combed through the blonde tangles.

The odd door slid open again, and another uniformed soldier walked in. This one was shorter than the first but seemed to show a kind of confidence that told her he was in charge.

Just like the first man, this one took one look at her and stopped short in surprise.

“That is uncanny,” he said, his accent coming through clearly.

“There’s a possible reason for that, but I have to be honest, I really hope I’m wrong,” the first soldier said grimly.

Lilly made a decision.

If they wanted to drag her to their brig, they were welcome to try, but it was time to search in earnest for the door. She turned her back on the men and started feeling every inch of the wall panels, crouching down to see if there was a floor latch that had tripped when she walked through.

“What is she doing?” the captain asked.

“Searching for a way out, I think,” was the response.

“If you know where it is, I promise I’ll go through and never bother you again,” Lilly said without turning around.

“Sir, before Cue left, he told me what he termed a ‘secret,’ a kind of outer limit on the extent of his powers,” the first soldier started to say. As much as Lilly wanted to listen to him, though, she was far more interested in the satisfying ‘click’ noise that she had coaxed from the wall panel. The man continued speaking to his superior, and Lilly pulled on the edge of the panel.

The door opened.

“Stop!” the man with the accent shouted.

Lilly stared at the space behind the door she’d been so determined to find. In front of her was a mass of baffling technology, with lights, panels, and glass shapes fitted into a warren of alcoves and nooks. It was clearly not a way out.

“I just wanted to go back outside,” Lilly said in a hushed voice.

“I understand,” the captain’s voice said from close behind her. “It appears that you’ve been taken-- kidnapped, in a way --and brought here.” Lilly turned her head and saw that this soldier’s eyes were kind. “Trust me, you do not want to walk through any doorways in this wall.” He smiled, but she saw that while it wasn’t a forced smile, it didn’t reach his eyes.

“Why?” she asked, looking at his face for any indications that he was about to lie to her.

“Because you are on a starship, and there are better ways to exit into the void of space than creating a door in my hull,” the captain said, a trace of humor in his tone.

“Captain!” The other soldier’s voice sounded angry again. “Sir, if she is who she appears to be, we must not reveal any more than is necessary!”

There was an odd mix of deference and desperation in the man’s voice, and Lilly looked past the captain to see that he was looking at her as if she were someone dangerous and volatile. This made her angry. She hadn’t  _ chosen _ to show up here, and she doubted that she’d triggered the journey by anything she’d done on the palace grounds.

“You look at me like I’m  _ asking _ for forbidden information,” she said, hating the way her voice sounded petulant instead of righteous. “Whatever happened, I didn’t do it on purpose!”

In frustration, Lilly unbuttoned the first two buttons of her blouse. They’d been done up to keep her neck warm in the 40 degree London weather, but now that she was on some sort of spaceship--

“Wait,” Lilly said, throwing a hand out to steady herself against the wall. The captain stepped past her and closed the wall panel and turned back to face her, a look of regret on his face. She felt a desire to wipe it away, but couldn’t think of anything to say that wouldn’t reinforce it instead. “This room is huge, for a spaceship!” she said, looking around as if with new eyes. “So much wasted space, unless it’s  _ not _ wasted, which implies  _ centuries _ more of improvement, and a powerful, efficient, and reliable life support system.”

“Sir?” the angry soldier was behind her, and Lilly had no intention of turning around to see his derision. She could hear enough of it in his tone of voice.

“Let it be,” the captain said over his shoulder, calmly. He made eye contact with her, and she felt a little bit like a wild animal being tamed.

“He said something about the 21st century,” Lilly whispered, wishing the captain would send his angry counterpart away. The captain shook his head, smiling slightly.

“Miss… Eliz-- Is there a way we could--”

Suddenly, Lilly realized two things in rapid succession.

One was that the captain wanted her to stop talking, probably because he could tell what she was about to figure out.

The second was that there was something fundamentally wrong with both men’s reactions to her. The first man had recognized her clothes, if not her actual identity, but the second man, the captain, seemed to know exactly who she was, and that was very, very wrong. He’d almost used her name. Her  _ true _ name.

“Princess Margaret,” Lilly said, looking into the captain’s eyes intently.

“I’m sorry?” he said.

“Do you know who that is?” The captain shook his head. Behind him, his angry colleague was once again talking to the badge he wore on his uniform. Lilly tuned him out, drunk on adrenaline and worry. If her assumption was right, there was something horrible that they knew about, and she didn’t. “Prince Arthur, in the 1500’s, do you know who that is?”

“Henry VIII’s older brother, yes.” The captain’s eyes were shrewd; he was clearly gathering information as well as showing how knowledgeable he was.

“But you don’t recognize Margaret? What about Prince Andrew? Princess Anne?”

“I’m afraid I don’t follow.” His voice was apologetic.

“But you know Henry’s successors, don’t you? Edward, Mary, and then Elizabeth?” Lilly said, tears prickling up in her eyes.

“I fail to see why you are--”

“The difference is the succession, captain. You don’t recognize Margaret because she never acceded to the throne. You know Arthur because he was meant to, but died. You almost used my name, just then, didn’t you?” Lilly didn’t wait for him to answer her, but she saw the dawning comprehension cross his face. He reached out to rest a gentle hand on her shoulder, and she didn’t shake it off like she would have if it had been his colleague’s hand. “You shouldn’t know my name. I may not know what century this is, captain, but I can tell that this ship is advanced beyond a few decades of invention.” Her tears spilled over, blurring the image of the captain standing in front of her. Behind him, she saw a figure approach and assumed it was the first soldier. She shook her head at him as if that would prevent him from coming any closer. “You shouldn’t know who I am!” she finally said, covering her face in her hands.

“I am so very sorry,” the captain said, squeezing her shoulder.

Hearing the sympathy in his voice sent Lilly’s emotions spiraling. The other soldier had called her an ‘Earth leader,’ and while she clung to the hope that this meant something other than a leader of a country, the captain’s reaction hinted that she would be disappointed.

If she was a leader, what had happened to the family she’d just met, the family full of people positioned  _ before _ her in the line of succession?

A woman’s voice, calming and competent, broke through her sobs.

“I will need to sedate her, I think.”

“Did you bring a gurney?” the captain asked, his hand moving from its position on her shoulder to support her back.

“I can carry her,” the angry soldier said.

“No!” Lilly said, lifting her head and glaring in the direction she’d heard his voice. To her surprise, he seemed almost hurt by her vehement reaction, despite the near constant hostility he’d shown from the moment she’d appeared.

“Miss, I want to help you, all right? No one will hurt you,” the woman said. Lilly looked over at her and saw that she was also wearing a uniform. “I’m a doctor,” she said, making eye contact with Lilly. “My name is Beverly. What can I call you?”

“I don’t think we should--” the hostile soldier interrupted, his voice urgent.

“Commander, you are not helping,” Beverly said, shooting him a look.

“Lilly,” Lilly said to Beverly. “Call me Lilly.”

“It’s definitely her, then,” the soldier Beverly had called a Commander said.

“No,” Lilly said, tears welling up again. She felt like she couldn’t breathe.

“We need to get her to Sick Bay,” Beverly said decisively. “Just close your eyes, all right? We’ll help you feel better.”

A device pressed to Lilly’s neck, and she felt a rush of sensation, as if jets of air had pressed a powerful sedative into her skin. She started to fall, and strong arms caught her. Lilly tried to fight against them, knowing it had to be the Commander and hating the idea that he would touch her at all. After another breath, though, she passed out completely.

8888888888

Will stood in the Observation Lounge waiting for the captain and doctor to return. He’d carried the woman to Sick Bay, explaining the circumstances of her appearance to his colleagues as they walked. Deanna had been in Sick Bay waiting to have lunch with Beverly, and she’d witnessed his unguarded reaction to laying the woman on a cot. Her wet hair had left a damp spot on the arm of his uniform. He hated the reminder but didn’t want it to dry, and both reactions made him incredibly unsettled.

Behind him, Geordi was telling Worf and Data about the celebration the Tagrans were planning for the following day. He heard the sound of someone getting up, and a minute later he felt the warmth of another person standing beside him. He felt her mind as well as her physical presence, and Will let out a long sigh. He wasn’t sure he wanted to deconstruct how he felt about the ship’s new guest, especially not with someone as perceptive as Deanna.

“Tell me. You don’t have to go into detail,” Deanna said quietly.

“Q somehow brought a historical figure from Earth onto the ship before he disappeared. He doesn’t seem to be coming back for her,” Will said, hoping it would be enough.

“What is  _ your _ association with her?” Deanna pressed.

Will looked down at her. Deanna looked steadily up at him.

He looked back out the window for almost a full minute before he answered her. She waited patiently, as he knew she would. “When I started Starfleet, my first semester grades were dismal. I felt out of place and tried to mitigate that by spending a lot of my study time with my female classmates. When I realized how detrimental that behavior was, I decided to pick a woman from history and pretend I was in a long-distance relationship.”

“And, being an overachiever…” Deanna said, allowing her amused voice to trail off.

Will grinned down at her. “Hey, it worked! I had a description, a name, a personality, everything.”

“No pictures, though.”

“That was a running joke by the time I graduated. We even ‘broke up’ a couple of times. Every time they convinced themselves I’d made her up, they’d ask me a question about her, something not easy to make up an answer to, and I always had a believable response.”

“Because of her journaling,” Deanna said. That meant she’d recognized the woman in Sick Bay. He nodded. “So you feel a deep personal connection to her, almost like you knew her in reality.” He nodded again. “Did Q know that?”

Will clasped his hands behind him, parade rest except for the way his right fist was clenched so tightly that his fingers started to ache almost immediately. “No. He still doesn’t, as far as I know.”

“That’s quite a coincidence. Are you sure?”

The door to the Observation Lounge opened and Will smiled at Deanna with no small amount of smugness. Her look of acquiescence might have seemed demure to anyone who didn’t know her, but he knew that the quirk of her brow meant their conversation was merely paused for the moment.

Once all the senior staff were settled into their chairs and facing him, Captain Picard started speaking.

“A lot has happened this afternoon, and while I know some of you have learned about certain aspects of the day’s events, I wanted everyone to be brought up to speed so that we may decide how best to deal with everything. First, the Tagrans.” Picard smiled and clasped his hands in front of him. “You may have guessed that the miraculous cleansing of the planet’s pollution was an act by Amanda Rogers. She found it too difficult to be faced with the massive loss of life that would have resulted in the containment breach.”

“She saved our lives for certain,” Geordi broke in as Picard paused for breath. “I’m incredibly grateful, and so are the Tagrans.”

“I’d be lying if I said I’m not glad she was there,” Picard nodded. “She took her leave of the ship shortly afterwards. Commander?”

Will cleared his throat. “When I was able to beam aboard, Miss Rogers came to the transporter room to speak to me. Q was with her, and after she disappeared to speak with her adoptive parents, I made the mistake of trying to stall him so he wouldn’t interrupt their goodbye.”

“That was an admirable sacrifice,” Worf said.

“Thank you.” Will pinched his temple and then continued. “I asked him if there was a limit to his powers, given that he’s demonstrated the ability to stop time. He said that the Continuum can step in to fix a disrupted timeline if they bother to care. Then, he told me he was going to share a ‘secret’ with me.”

“Oh dear,” Beverly said under her breath.

“Exactly,” Will said, his eyebrows shooting up. “It was all every bit as melodramatic as always, but the gist is that they have a hard limit on their powers when it comes to taking a person out of their time period and into the future. Q called it a ‘legend,’ claimed he’d tried and failed to do it once, then apparently managed it and left before he noticed.”

“Suspicious,” Picard grunted.

“It is. The bigger concern is that he seemed completely obsessed with her during our discussion before the actual deed.”

“That is one aspect of this that is equal parts confusing and comforting. I am directly descended from Queen Elizabeth III, and yet with her here on the ship, I seem to be unaffected,” the captain said.

“Logically, that means that she is returned to her own time without any appreciable effect on her timeline at some point in the future,” Data told him.

“Which means that Q will eventually discover what he’s done, and eventually, bring himself to the point where he sends her back.” Picard said.

“Meaning he could spend ten minutes or hundreds of years trying to persuade her to be willing to spend time with him in between.” Will frowned. “He told me he would use his powers to make her immortal. I can’t be the only one who finds that idea distasteful.” 

“You aren’t, and he has. Her body shows the same physical indicators as Q’s-- she isn’t aging, and her reproductive system is in some sort of stasis I’ve never seen before,” Beverly said. “Before I came here, she woke up from the sedative and immediately asked to be put into a medically induced coma.”

“That’s perfect,” Will said, feeling a rush of relief. “She can’t learn information that she shouldn’t if she’s not awake to find out about it.”

Beverly shot him a look. “I can’t do that, not for any appreciable length of time. Her body will show signs of it, and from what I know of history, this is a time period when many are suspicious of her. I would argue that it would be  _ more _ damaging to her to have inexplicable medical symptoms when she finally is returned than to have knowledge she is certainly intelligent enough to conceal!”

“That is a very good point, thank you,” Picard said, clearly hoping to placate her. “I have not had much time to think this through, but before I make a suggestion, I want to ask all of you: do you believe that I should make an attempt to locate Q and tell him what has happened?”

Will shook his head, and around the table, every one of the senior staff either made negative gestures or noises.

“Given his habit for causing trouble, sir, that would not be a prudent course of action in my opinion,” Data said.

“I agree,” Picard said decisively. He sat back in his chair and took a deep breath. “I believe I can pass her off as my niece. My brother is notoriously private, and it would be entirely within his character to have had an indiscretion some twenty-six years ago, not speak about it to anyone, and then expect me to provide some sort of protection or support for that child upon her reappearance in his life.”

“Sir, she will be exposed to knowledge and technology that could change her timeline and ours! Isn’t the risk too great to simply allow her to be a guest on the ship?” Will protested, feeling a growing sense of unease and concern. He could see Deanna looking at him and wondered if she suspected his objections were personal. He wondered as much himself. The idea that he could be required to socialize with the embodiment of his ideal woman was deeply worrisome for many reasons.

“Earth’s history during her time is tumultuous and lessons often gloss over it in favor of skipping ahead to the warp drive and first contact,” Picard said dismissively. “I understand your concern, Will, and I intend to address it--”

“Sir, I believe I am capable of creating a computer system for her which can only access information and published materials available up to the year she was removed from her own time. This would exclude materials written after that date which look at the time period within historical context, while still allowing access to contemporary accounts,” Data said. 

To Will, every indication the android was giving, from the calculated interruption, the thoroughness of his description, and even the volume he’d chosen to use gave the impression of excitement, despite his lack of ability to show such an emotion. Instinctively, Will looked over at Picard, and the slight turn-up of his lips at the corners of his serious expression told him that the captain had also caught the same subtleties in Data’s behavior.

“That is an excellent idea. Make it so,” Picard said.

Will still felt uneasy. “Sir, her appearance--”

“If you took Henry VIII and dressed him in clothing from our century, would you recognize him?” Picard interrupted.

“With all due respect, sir, Henry VIII doesn’t have over five thousand hours of holovids detailing his life,” Will pointed out.

“Doesn’t he?” Picard said, tugging on the upper half of his uniform. It was a sign of unhappiness, and Will didn’t miss that. “There are quite a few videos made about the man, full of reenactments, portraits, and even holographic reproductions of what he would have looked like in the time the publication was created. I’m not saying she won’t look similar to herself, but it may be explained away by stating that genetics in the Picard family are strong, and always have been.”

“I’d like to request permission to inoculate her against a few strains of disease that would certainly threaten her life under almost any circumstances,” Beverly said, a note of steel in her tone of voice. “As you know, there is a style of vaccination which leaves no trace of itself behind until the patient encounters the disease. It’s a more difficult process, but would provide a safeguard against anything she might encounter here  _ and _ remain hidden from 21st century medicine.”

“Granted.” Picard stood.

“Sir? If she’s to pose as your niece, what do we call her?” Deanna asked gently.

Picard made a face; he clearly had forgotten to address this. “We’ll ask her, of course, but--”

“Lilly Picard,” Will said, willing his face to remain stoic. He’d watched every minute of her holovids, and had studied her personality in order to keep himself busy and unavailable both to interested parties and his own impulses. He  _ knew _ her.

“Lilly? I thought her name is Elizabeth? What about her name from before?” Deanna said, clearly surprised.

“Sarah--” Data started to say, but Will interrupted him.

“She hated that name,” he said, inwardly wincing at the emotion in his voice. He cleared his throat and smiled self-deprecatingly. “I watched a lot of those holovids when I was in the Academy,” he told the interested faces of his friends and colleagues. “She preferred the nickname Lilly.”

Will felt like every time he said the name, he gave more of his private interest in her away. He resolved that he would avoid using it in future, if only to keep Deanna from shooting penetrating looks across conference room tables at him.

“Lilly Picard,” the captain said. “Beverly?”

“I’ll go speak to her about it now,” she said, standing up. The rest of the crew stood as well.

“If you don’t mind, captain, I’d like to head back down to the surface and link back up with the engineering team we sent down a little while ago,” Geordi asked.

“Of course,” the captain said. “Will?”

Will narrowed his eyes at Deanna, then looked over at Picard. “Yes, sir?” Behind the captain, everyone else filtered out of the door, Geordi with Data, Worf with Beverly, and to his relief, Deanna. Picard waited until the door slid shut behind them.

“I don’t want you to think I’m deliberately minimizing your concerns,” Picard said, walking over and resting his hand on the chair beside where Will was standing. “At the same time, I’m consciously aware that isolation is detrimental to a person’s health. To isolate her from information and social interactions and then deliver her into the hands of a being like Q feels like…” Picard sighed. “It feels like a violation of the Prime Directive.”

The wry look on his face told Will that Jean-Luc had been wrestling with the issue and hadn’t liked his own conclusion very much. Will took a breath, feeling an urge to tell Picard about the odd circumstances in his Academy days that led him to feeling so overprotective, but something stopped him. He didn’t want to be accused of thinking of her like an ex, or not being objective. And in order to be in a position to argue that he  _ was _ being objective, first he needed to examine the situation and find out.

“Data’s suggestion of a limited database is a good first step,” he said instead.

Picard made a sound of approval and turned toward the door. “There’s a certain irony to the timing, here. In coming up with a plausible cover story, the ‘secret child’ idea, what we’re really doing is giving her a chance to come to terms with what has just happened to her in her own time.” He stopped just shy of the sensors that would open the door and turned to look at Will, a recognizable kind of fascination lighting his expression. “The historical record tells us that she seemed to adjust to her new circumstances abnormally well. Perhaps this is why.”

Will nodded, and they parted ways in the corridor. The duty roster in Engineering would need to be adjusted, and Geordi was busy on the planet. He decided to head down there and take a look at what they had to work with. Deanna would be able to handle organizing the requisite psychological staff to provide support to the Tagrans, so there was no need for him to stop by as he might have been inclined to on an ordinary day.

He’d already stepped into the turbolift and stated his destination before he realized that he was changing his behavior because of their new guest. Will swore under his breath, but he didn’t change his plans.


	3. First Contact

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say that Riker is definitely more on edge in the first few chapters than his genuine character is when he's not stressed out. I worried that it might read as out of character entirely, but as written, it's intended to show that he's under stress and off balance, and reacting accordingly.
> 
> So, bear with me if you're concerned! You'd be off balance too, in that situation ;)

###  Chapter Three: First Contact

Lilly opened her eyes to see that she was still in the space the soldiers referred to as ‘Sick Bay.’ The cot she was lying on was surprisingly comfortable for how utilitarian it was. Gingerly, she sat up, hoping that she wouldn’t be chastised for it. A soldier wearing a gold and black uniform with a silver ornamental sash was faced away from her, looking at a metal notebook of some sort. On hearing her move, he turned to look at her.

His forehead was covered with ridges of skin like a mountain range meeting above his nose. The soldier’s dark eyes combined with these facial ridges made him look quite fierce, and Lilly knew she was staring at him with wide eyes, probably rudely. This had to be someone who was not human, Lilly realized. 

“Doctor Crusher, she is awake,” he said in a raised voice, turning his head toward the other side of the room. 

Lilly didn’t want to be rude anymore, but she didn’t know what to say, so she tried the most obvious tactic.

“Hello,” she offered. Her voice didn’t sound frightened, and honestly, she didn’t feel that frightened. He was wearing the same uniform as the others, and he wore an air of confidence just like the captain had. That had to mean he was trusted by the others, she told herself.

“Hello.” The soldier looked down at the object he was holding, looked at her, and set it down behind him on an empty cot. She assumed it was technology she shouldn’t see and smiled at him so he knew that she wasn’t upset.

“Are you my guard?” she asked, leaning forward and saying it quietly, since they weren’t alone in the room. The red-haired doctor was across the room with another patient, and an opaque shimmer of energy hid their cot from view.

“No. You have not been assigned a guard.”

This soldier’s voice matched his appearance, Lilly decided. He didn’t sound upset as much as he sounded like he always answered questions in such a clipped, harsh tone.

“That’s actually encouraging,” Lilly told him. “Are you an ambassador, then?”

_ That _ earned her a reaction. The man shook his head once in obvious confusion, and his tone of voice had more personality in it when he answered her this time.

“No, I am not.” He looked like he wanted to ask her why she’d suggested that, but though he opened his mouth to add to his response, he closed it again and looked over to where the doctor was standing. Lilly looked over too and saw that she was leaned all the way over and clearly busy.

“I asked because of your uniform. It’s different than the others, more ceremonial,” Lilly told the soldier.

“It is a Klingon baldric,” he said. He hesitated and took one step closer to her cot, looking down at her as if wondering if he should explain further. Then, he continued. “You have not seen any other crew members wearing one because I am the only Klingon in Starfleet.”

_ Starfleet, _ Lilly thought. That was information to remember. Aloud, she said, “‘Klingon.’ Is that your--” she stopped herself before she said ‘race.’ He wasn’t a case study of an alien, he was a person. “--people?”

“Yes.”

“I did everything backwards, just now,” Lilly said, looking up at the soldier and forcing herself to look at his eyes instead of the ridges on his forehead. “I’m Lilly.”

“Worf.”

“It’s an honor to meet you,” she said, meaning it. 

_ “Riker to Lieutenant Worf.” _

Worf tapped the badge on his uniform. “Worf here.”

Lilly recognized the voice. It was the same angry officer that she’d first met on the ship. Now she had a name to go with the voice and face. Commander Riker.

_ “We’re going to need some security teams to accompany our engineers on the surface. The Tagrans’ enthusiasm is starting to cause some concern. Do you have time to assign them, or should I take care of it?” _

“I’m finished with my task in Sick Bay, Commander. I will assign them now,” Worf responded.

Lilly leaned over sideways to catch his attention, then raised her eyebrows at him. Was  _ she _ the ‘task’ in Sick Bay?

_ “Sick Bay, Lieutenant?” _ Riker’s voice sounded upset, which didn’t surprise Lilly in the slightest. Before Worf had the opportunity to respond, Riker’s voice sounded again.  _ “Get out of there. I’d like to avoid contact between you and our guest. Riker out.” _

“You’re a security officer?” Lilly said, hoping to stop him before he left to follow Riker’s orders.

Worf looked at her. “Yes. However, I was not lying when I stated that you have no guards assigned to you. As a member of the senior staff, I was informed about your situation. Doctor Crusher asked me to remain until you woke.”

“So the only Klingon in Starfleet has met the only 21st century human on the starship, then,” Lilly said in a quiet, playful voice.

Worf looked distinctly uncomfortable. “I should have remained silent.” He turned around and picked up the metal notebook thing he’d set down earlier, and then faced her. “I must leave.”

“Is there a Klingon word for ‘goodbye’ that you could teach me?” Lilly asked. She didn’t want him to feel like  _ she _ was upset to have met him, despite what his commanding jerk was assuming.

For the first time since she’d met him, Worf looked like he might be smiling, just a little bit. “No there is not. We simply wish our opponent success in their upcoming battle.”

“In that case, Worf, I wish you success in your upcoming battle with Commander Riker. I have a feeling you’re not the kind of person to lie, and he’ll probably ask if you talked to me.”

Now Worf was definitely smiling. “Goodbye,” he said, and turned to leave. “Captain,” he said deferentially to the person that had been standing behind him.

“Lieutenant,” the captain said. He had a pleased look on his face, and Lilly gave an internal sigh of relief. His first officer seemed not to have persuaded the captain that she was some sort of primitive idiot who wouldn’t be able to handle meeting a Klingon.

“I see you’ve met Worf,” he said by way of greeting.

“He was here when I woke up, much to your first officer’s eventual disgust, I think,” she said, knowing she sounded a little bit bratty but not caring much about it.

“Would you speak to me privately?” the captain said politely. She nodded, and he led her into a small office space adjacent to the main Sick Bay room. There was a console beside the door about the size of a credit card, and when he pressed one of its buttons, the door slid smoothly shut. He gestured to one of the two chairs situated in front of a small desk, and when she sat down, he sat down beside her, instead of at the desk.

“I promise I didn’t go looking for your only Klingon officer on the ship to cause trouble,” Lilly said before the captain could say anything.

To her surprise, he chuckled. “I imagine not. I suspect Doctor Crusher didn’t think of the implications of asking him to be the first to greet you. Despite the differences in appearance, Mr. Worf is a valued member of our crew.”

“I can tell,” Lilly said.

“Well.” The captain clasped his hands in his lap. “My name is Jean-Luc Picard, and as you’ve already guessed, I’m the captain of this ship, the Enterprise.”

“It’s nice to meet you formally,” Lilly said politely.

Before she could reciprocate the introduction, Picard spoke again. “The circumstances of your arrival are unusual to the extreme, as I’m sure you’re aware. Because of this, we’re not in a position to simply send you back, nor are we in contact with the entity we believe drew you out of your own time to place you here. I know you do eventually return, or I don’t expect I would still be here.” He leaned forward a little bit. “The decision to treat you as a guest was an easy one. I’m sure you understand the importance of coming up with what is essentially a cover story?”

Lilly nodded.

“Good,” Picard said, leaning back. “The truth is, you are actually my ancestor.” His expression was full of a really gratifying kind of happiness. Picard’s eyes seemed almost to sparkle with it. “If you’re amenable, I’d like to call you my niece, a sort of reversal of our genuine, though extended, family tree. My brother is an irascible, antisocial sort of man who would probably avoid disavowing an illegitimate child whether or not she existed in reality, and I can use my connections to create an identity within our societal structure for you.”

“Would that make my last name Picard, then? Lilly Picard?” Lilly asked after a few seconds. To get to stay? To  _ have _ to stay? Both were exciting and daunting.

“It would. The senior staff know the truth about you as a matter of necessity; my current plan is to allow you limited access to the ship as befits an unexpected visitor related to the captain. You will be given private quarters with a computer specifically modified to permit access to information up to the year 2005.”

“So I don’t have to be bored  _ and _ so I don’t learn about things like how Klingons don’t say ‘goodbye’ when they take their leave?” Lilly said with a grin.

“Precisely,” Picard said, his voice gravely with both amusement and censure. “One of my crewmembers is working on a modification to the holodeck that would allow you to use it, as well.”

“Holodeck?” Lilly asked with interest.

“It’s a room with the ability to change to fit your requests. You would be able to visit an approximation of various places on Earth, including historical buildings and time periods. This might help you adjust to your new life, however temporary it will be.”

“Wow. I love the idea, but isn’t that exactly the sort of advanced technology your first officer is determined to keep me away from?”

For just a moment, a look of irritation flashed across Picard’s features before he schooled it away. “Lilly, you’ve been through a traumatic experience. Two traumatic experiences, if we count the circumstances you’ve only recently gone through in your own time period--”

“How did you know?” Lilly interrupted.

“Doctor Crusher can pinpoint your exact age,” Picard said, quickly dismissing her question. “The point is, as much as we will endeavor to keep the direct chronology of your personal life concealed, you have some things to recover from. Keeping you confined and completely ignorant would hinder that healing.” He leaned forward and held out a hand. Instinctively, she placed both of hers in it. “I’ll admit to being fascinated by what has happened,” he admitted. “Beyond that, though, it’s in the best interest of all of the humans on board that we do not tamper too much with our own history.”

“I know what you’re not saying,” Lilly said, ignoring the shiver that passed over her when her thoughts skittered across the thing she didn’t want to think about. “I don’t want to go looking things up, and I don’t plan on asking anyone.”

Picard nodded. “Thank you. Honestly, I’m asking for your approval of this plan, but I’m not requiring it. This is simply the best chance I can see of not disrupting the ship  _ and _ keeping you from being quarantined for something beyond your control.”

“I appreciate it, Uncle,” Lilly said, trying it out. “But, not to develop an ego or anything, but when you saw me, you clearly knew who I was.” She looked down at the ‘21st century’ outfit she was still wearing.

“I believe that the impossibility of your true identity along with a new wardrobe of current clothing will be enough. Any stray comments can be hand-waved as genetics.”

“Oh, so sort of like, ‘Hey, you look a lot like--’ ‘I know. I used to do reenactments but when I got older, I grew out of it. Now, I am sick to death of hearing anything about her, honestly,’ Lilly said, acting out an imagined conversation. She pulled her hands free of the captain’s to make a dismissive gesture.

“That could work quite well, actually.”

“Thank you,” Lilly smiled. “I don’t think I’ll go wandering around right away though, not even to your holodeck thing. What I really want to do is sleep. Then sleep some more. It’s been a long ten days.”

Picard took this as a cue to stand. “Do you have any questions?”

“Probably, but not right now?” she said hesitantly. “I think you know more about how I got here than you’re telling me, but as much as I should be curious, I’m just worn out. No matter how it happened or when, or what happens to me as a consequence of it, the family I only just met a few days ago are all dead right now. That’s going to have an impact, even if only for a little while.”

“You are absolutely right. Forgive me for forgetting that aspect.” Picard reached out as he’d done in the first room she’d appeared in, resting his hand on her shoulder.

“You’re very kind. I don’t think I’ll have any trouble thinking of you as an uncle. And hey, I have recent, hands-on experience in dealing with meeting unexpected new family!”

“I admit to exploiting that aspect in coming up with the backstory,” Picard said, smiling at her.

There was a chime sound at the door, and Picard called out, “Come.”

The door slid open to reveal the red-headed doctor.

“One more thing-- are you soldiers? Worf mentioned ‘Starfleet,’ but is this a war ship?” Lilly asked before the doctor was able to say anything.

“Starfleet has a military structure, but we do not consider ourselves soldiers,” Picard answered.

“I can ask Data to come up with an explainer for the things you will need to know, if you like?” the doctor suggested.

“That would be great, thank you,” Lilly said. “Could… you ask him to maybe identify some colloquial phrases that might confuse people who think I’m supposed to be from this time period? If I’m going to come across other people on the ship, I need to be able to ‘pass,’ if that makes sense.”

The doctor immediately smiled and shared a look with the captain, who was standing behind Lilly. She nodded. “That’s a good idea.”

“I have some briefing papers to read, so I will leave you with Doctor Crusher,” Picard said.

“Thanks, uncle. You said your name is Jean-Luc? That feels incredibly formal for some reason, maybe because it’s so  _ French,” _ Lilly said, feeling her face start to flush with embarrassment at the way she’d phrased that. The captain looked a bit uncomfortable too. “Do we have a good relationship? Can I call you ‘uncle’ without a name afterwards without sounding disrespectful? I don’t want to come up a nickname, but--”

“Please refrain from choosing any kind of diminutive, if that’s what you’re asking. ‘Uncle’ is sufficiently affectionate for appearances,” Picard said. His voice had shifted into a formal, polite tone that made her feel like he was being diplomatic.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable. ‘Uncle’ is fine, then. Thank you!”

“Yes, well. I’m sure I will see you again this evening. Counselor Troi seems to be arranging a meal for you and a few of the senior staff to help ease the transition from unexpected guest to simply ‘guest,’” he said. Then, he nodded politely and walked out of the still-open doorway.

“I’m really glad I didn’t suggest something like ‘Uncle Jay,’” Lilly said to the doctor.

Doctor Crusher laughed, a touch of red appearing on her cheeks. “You have good instincts,” she said. “Your quarters are ready, and my head nurse is back from lunch so I can take you. Would you like to see them?”

“Yes, thank you!”

8888888888

Will decided to keep his uniform on for dinner. When he showed up at Deanna’s quarters, she smiled in greeting. He walked in and saw that she’d adjusted the furniture in the room to make space for a table with six chairs.

“Geordi is still busy, and I’d like to wait a few days before we introduce Data. There is a lot going on for her right now,” Deanna said in response to his unasked question.

“That leaves you, me, the doctor, the captain, his ‘niece,’ and -?” Will said, walking up to the table and resting both hands on the back of a chair.

“Worf,” Deanna said, coming over with a vase that she placed in the center of the table.

“Worf,” Will said unhappily. “You’re waiting to introduce Data, but you’re including Worf?”

Deanna finished arranging the flowers’ position in the vase and looked up at him. “You haven’t talked to him.” It was a statement, and he knew her well enough to know there was some heat behind it.

“He’s been busy shuffling the duty roster around to account for a large number of security escorts for the engineering teams,” Will said, feeling defensive. “Why?”

“He’s already spoken to her. In Sick Bay.”

“Damnit, I told him to--”

Suddenly, Will realized something, and his burst of anger spooled away into a corner of his mind, gathering itself up to return stronger than before if necessary.

“Why isn’t anyone else here?” he asked her in a voice rigidly controlled.

Deanna crossed the room and sat on the couch. “Sit with me?”

“I do not need to be  _ handled, _ Deanna!” Will said, tipping his head to the side to look at her in what he hoped was a profoundly disappointed expression.

“Prove it. Come sit with me.”

He knew he had a choice. He could show her exactly how hurt he felt in her obvious distrust of him, rail at the way she’d tricked him into a quasi therapy session before dinner, or.  _ Or, _ he could recognize the impossible position she was in. She knew him quite well, after all. Deanna Troi could not have expected him to react favorably to her plan, yet she’d done it anyway. That meant she was either losing her touch, or she  _ did  _ trust him. She trusted him to understand that what she was asking him to do was important and that he would do it despite how much he didn’t want to.

He wasn’t going to make it easy for her, but Will knew how to do the right thing. He walked over and sat, leaning back, the picture of relaxed indifference.

He also didn’t say anything.

Neither did Deanna. She looked at him, and he looked at her.

Will made it three minutes before he started pulling on his uniform shirt to adjust how it had ridden up at his neck. Inwardly, he sighed-- it was a classic sign of uneasiness, so much so that he kept his eye out for it from his colleagues in meetings. There was no way Deanna missed it. He’d lost their skirmish.

“Worf came to talk to you?” he asked her.

“He wanted to make sure he hadn’t been accidentally insubordinate. There wasn’t an order for him to stay away, but he thought he could have missed it.”

“I honestly thought it would have been  _ obvious!” _ he said.

“Will, you said you spent a few years learning enough about her to be able to credibly pretend she was a real person you knew personally. Given that knowledge, how do you think she reacted to meeting Worf?” Deanna asked, smiling in that infuriatingly placid way she had when acting as Ship’s Counselor.

This time he caught himself before he touched the hem of his uniform shirt. “Is this really necessary?” he muttered.

“Generally, if the person I’m speaking to avoids answering a question, it’s the kind of question that needs to be asked,” Deanna said sweetly.

“She was probably charming and diplomatic,” Will said in frustration. “That doesn’t change the fact that it would be better for everyone involved if she kept away from any member of the ship’s population that isn’t human!” He leaned forward and looked at Deanna with as much earnest concern as he could manage. “This is about the captain. This is about preserving the timeline.”

“Don’t you think it was better for her to encounter the first of what she might call an alien life form in a situation where that person knows who she is and what prejudices she might be carrying?” Deanna said, also leaning forward. “I hear you, Will. I do. I understand your concern. But with the plan the captain has come up with, Lilly will be free to go on her own, with no escort, into Ten Forward. Thanks to Worf, we have an idea of how she will react to any of the races she might find there.”

“Favorably?” he asked, reluctantly.

She smiled. “As you said. Charming and diplomatic.”

Will didn’t like how proud that made him feel. He hadn’t earned it, and what was worse, he had a sense that if she knew about it, ‘Lilly Picard’ would feel violated and possibly offended by the way he’d used her for his own benefit, all those years before.

The door chime rang, and Deanna called for the person to come in.

Before he turned to see who it was, Will narrowed his eyes at Deanna. “You knew you’d break me inside of ten minutes?”

“Beverly, hello!” Deanna said, grinning.

8888888888

Lilly looked at herself in the full-length mirror. Clothing in the 24th century wasn’t ‘futuristic’ in any of the ways she might recognize. Doctor Beverly Crusher had helped her navigate the clothes replicator, and the only thing she asked for in return was that Lilly call her ‘Beverly.’ This dress was one that Beverly had told her was similar to something the ship’s counselor liked to wear, with an asymmetric hem and neckline. It was the same red color as the command uniforms and her ‘21st century’ wool sweater, and now that she was wearing it for real instead of seeing herself in the responsive augmented reality mirror she’d ‘tried it on’ with, Lilly wasn’t sure she was up for wearing it that evening.

It wasn’t even that fancy, but it was form-fitting and made her feel like she was trying too hard. Like, a couple  _ centuries _ too hard.

Lilly took it off and pulled out another item in the same red color. This was a shirt comprised of a v-necked, sleeveless base shirt and filmy overshirt made of two different weights of fabric that looked identical. The heavier weight lay attractively along her arms, breasts, and stomach, and the lighter fabric seemed to float and adjust its position with the slightest movement she made. She tried it on and put on a black, close-fitting pair of pants and looked at herself in the mirror again. 

The shirt looked so beautiful that she stared at herself for a bit before turning to the sink area to grab a piece of jewelry Beverly had helped her replicate. It had taken twenty minutes to get right, and wearing it made Lilly feel like she had a secret.

It was a replica Time Turner from the Harry Potter book series, golden and delicate, with a shorter chain than the original so that she could drape it around her neck as an adornment. The chain she’d chosen was variable and simply clasped to itself when she pushed it together in a particular way. The Time Turner lay right above her breasts, sometimes obscured by the deep red filmy fabric. A quick brush of her hair and touching on an identical lipstick to her shirt was all Lilly was able to do before she heard the door chime.

“Come in?” she said.

The door opened and Captain Picard walked in. He was wearing a grey, loose shirt with fitted sleeves and a pair of darker grey pants. He smiled when he saw her, and something about that reaction really warmed her heart. It seemed like, even though she truly didn’t belong, the people who  _ did _ were doing their best to make her welcome, even if she felt like she was trading on respect she hadn’t actually earned, yet.

“I didn’t do anything with my hair,” she said by way of greeting him. Then, she frowned. “I said most of the rest of that in my head instead of out loud. Let me start over,” she told the captain. He nodded, clearly amused. “You look nice. I spent too much time fussing over what to wear, and didn’t do anything with my hair.”

“Doctor Crusher told me she took some time to help you figure out your clothing. Tell me,” he said as they walked to the door of her room. “Did she pick that color, or did you?”

“It matches your command uniform color,” Lilly said. He nodded. “It’s also the same color as the sweater I was wearing when I showed up, but I think I’d already took it off by the time you saw me.”

“Counselor Troi’s quarters are this way,” the captain said, guiding her along the hallway. A few crewmembers looked over at them, clearly curious.

“Is there a kind of… I don’t know, ship’s newsletter or bulletin board, or something? With news, current guests, space weather, that sort of thing?” she asked as they got into the turbolift.

He shot her a look of disgruntled amusement. “Space weather?”

“Too 21st century of me?”

“I sincerely doubt you’ve ever used that phrase before in your life,” Picard said.

“You’re right.”

The turbolift door opened, and just as the two of them stepped out, a group of crewmembers with teal uniforms walked over to use it. They all nodded respectfully to the captain.

“You strike me as someone who would absolutely abhor gossip, Uncle,” Lilly said, deliberately not waiting until they were out of earshot of the turbolift.

Captain Picard stopped and gave her a look that made her cover her grin with one hand.

“You did that on purpose,” he said, throwing a glance over his shoulder. “How is it that you’ve somehow managed to replicate the exact sort of teasing tone my brother uses without ever having--”

He stopped speaking when they heard the sounds of a mother and child walking toward them. Lilly assumed he’d have finished the sentence with something like ‘without ever having met him,’ which was true, but also not something he’d wish to say where he could be overheard.

“Genetics,” Lilly said, shrugging. They started walking again, passing the mother and skipping child. “Really,  _ really _ powerful genetics.”

“Hmph,” Picard grunted, but he was smiling when he tapped the right colored square to announce their presence at Counselor Troi’s door.


	4. 68 65 6c 70

###  Chapter Four: 68 65 6c 70 

When Jean-Luc Picard walked into Deanna’s dinner party with the woman they’d all agreed to call his niece, Will realized he was going to have to either spend the evening digging his fingernails into his fists to distract himself or call in a favor from Data. One short, coded message would be all it would take-- Will and Data had an understanding thanks to their frequent away team assignments. If Will needed a diplomatic way out of any situation, he could send the number code, ‘68 65 6c 70’ to Data, whether in writing, a subspace message, or even speaking the numbers aloud, and Data would come up with a way to extricate them, no questions asked.

It simply stood for ‘help,’ in hexadecimal code.

Will had never used it on the Enterprise, but this seemed like a very good time to do so. His emotions were on edge enough as it was, dealing with the fact that a person he’d studied with the express purpose of tricking himself to fall in love with her was somehow, impossibly, in the same time period as he was. He had never needed to worry about what she’d think of his manipulation, and because of that he had never bothered to place limits on his thoughts and actions when it came to her. She’d become as much a part of his time at the Academy as his real friends had been, sometimes more so, because on lonely nights when it wasn’t a physical presence he longed for but an emotional, supportive one, he would sometimes picture her in his bed instead of the jumble of blankets and pillows, and talk to her.

He’d studied her journals and holofilms enough to guess at what she would say, and it was always insightful, supportive, and loving.

After he’d graduated and been assigned to a starship, Will had been faced with a tempting opportunity to re-create her in a holodeck program and  _ truly _ speak with her. 

He never did.

By then, she was too real to him for that. It had felt wrong, a violation in a way that his pretence never had been. For Will to look into her simulated eyes and look at her simulated body and imagine himself doing the things he’d implied to his classmates he’d done with her was, quite simply, morally wrong.

Now, he was both desperately grateful that he hadn’t done so and desperately angry at himself for the things he  _ had _ done, harmless though they had been. Now, Deanna could certainly sense his emotional upheaval. Now, Lilly’s very real eyes looked at him with a very real expression of hurt, which he realized he’d earned first by accusing her of being an agent of Q’s brand of chaos and then of being too inherently irresponsible to be allowed to have any real freedom on the ship.

She clearly thought he hated her, and it was  _ that _ which helped him cope with being around her as the six of them ate dinner and conversed at the table.

Maybe, Will thought to himself as he took his first bite of Deanna’s chocolate dessert, just maybe he could foster her assumption. If she thought he hated her, she’d stay away, and he wouldn’t have to guard his heart quite so much. ‘Guard his heart’ was an understatement. He’d  _ practiced  _ loving her. The only thing that had stopped him back then was the fact that she wasn’t real.

“Deanna, you’re not being fair to our guest!” he said during a lull in the conversation. All eyes trained on him, even hers, though hers wasn’t the only wary expression. Deanna was going to give him hell. “You’re going to get her hooked on types of chocolate she shouldn’t even know about. She’ll either become a shadow of herself in longing or end up bitter and angry at what she’s lost.”

Color flared in his cheeks when he’d stopped speaking. The truth of what he’d just said made his heart pound and the chocolate in his mouth taste like molten plastic.

“That’s oddly poetic,” Beverly noted, setting down her spoon.

Deanna’s laugh sounded forced. “I think, Commander, you’ve had an overdose of sugar. You’d better stop now.”

“You’re right. I’m tired, it’s probably the stress. I should be going.”

Picard’s eyebrows were furrowed, Worf was intently examining the way the chocolate sauce coated his spoon, and Lilly’s gaze was fixed on her untouched dessert. Both Beverly and Deanna were staring at him. He went to stand up, setting down his napkin beside the glass dish still filled with chocolate.

“I am sorry, it never occurred to me that I should be careful about what I ate or drank and how it might affect me,” Lilly said, standing, her face ashen. “Thank you for your lovely dinner. I’m not criticizing it, I promise, but I think I also should go and rest, now. The thought of discovering possible unknown allergies alone is enough for me to completely lose my appetite for food and socialization. Excuse me.”

Both Will and Deanna stood as Lilly swept from the room.

“Will!” Beverly said, angrily.

“I had no idea that she would--”

“Go after her. She’ll get lost,” Deanna ordered.

Will widened his eyes and stared at her. “That’s--”

“Do it now, before she takes a wrong turn and ends up more upset,” the captain said testily. 

Will couldn’t believe that his friends could have watched him offend someone and then, as a group, expect  _ him _ to be the one to soothe her. Why weren’t they going, instead?

“I’m just going to make it worse,” he argued, looking from face to face.

Worf stood. “Every moment you argue gives her more time in distress. I will go.”

“Oh, for--  _ Fine,” _ Will said, turning and jogging toward the door. It opened, and, of course, the hallway was completely empty.

“Computer, location of Miss Lilly Picard?”

_ “Lilly Picard is in Turbolift Seven.” _

“Destination?”

There was a ‘fail’ chime, and the computer stated,  _ “Turbolift Seven is stationary. No destination has been commanded.” _

Because Will was standing in the doorway, he could still see into Deanna’s quarters. All of the guests were standing, now, and most of them were looking over at him.

“What floor are her quarters?” Will asked in a defeated-sounding voice. He should have looked that up before, if for no other reason than to ensure that she’d been assigned living space in an area with few non-human races living nearby.

“Deck Seven,” Beverly called out.

“Thanks,” he said, and started toward the turbolift.

8888888888

Lilly felt like a complete and utter  _ idiot. _

She’d stormed out of a dinner in her honor after a relatively benign comment, insulting both the person who had invited her and the majority of the senior staff, including the Klingon officer she had been so pleased to get the chance to meet just hours earlier. What would he think of her now? Had he gone to study a biography of her life and was now comparing whatever respectable behavior she’d engaged in to her dismal tantrum?

There was no way she was going to go back to Troi’s rooms now, not the least of which because the featureless hallways gave no clear indication of what room contained which crew members. She knew she was on Deck Nine, and she knew that Deck Ten contained a social gathering place of sorts. She also knew that her quarters were not on either of those decks. What she couldn’t remember was whether she lived on Deck Seven or Eight.

With a deep sigh, Lilly dropped her hands from over her face, and with her eyes still shut, she said, tentatively, “Computer? Take me to Deck Ten?”

Right before she finished speaking, the door opened, apparently thanks to a verbal command spoken by someone in the corridor. Commander Riker was striding toward the turbolift, and it seemed clear that he’d been looking for her when his pace picked up.

“Computer, Deck Ten, quickly, please.”

The doors shut seconds before Riker reached them, and the turbolift started moving. When it halted, Lilly half-expected to be trapped mid-decks thanks to another shouted command from the first officer, but instead, she stepped out onto a different deck, giving her space in the turbolift to a group of civilians happily talking to each other. Ahead of her was another happily chatting group of people, and she followed them, hoping they were on their way to the lounge Beverly had called Ten Forward.

When she walked through the doorway and no one turned around to look at her like she didn’t belong there, Lily had to take a few deep, calming breaths. She took a few steps into the room and then looked through the doorway at the hallway, wondering if she would find the angry figure of Commander Riker rushing to drag her back to apologize to Deanna Troi.

“Hello,” a rich, friendly voice said from behind her.

Lilly turned around to see a woman with a kind smile and a very wide hat. “Hi,” she said to her. “Am I in the way?”

The woman made a show of looking around at the people nearby. “You don’t seem to be.”

“That’s good,” Lilly said awkwardly. “It was a strange question.”

“I’ve heard stranger ones. Would you like anything? Why don’t you come over to the bar?”

Lilly followed the woman to the bar area, and without really thinking about it she slid up onto one of the stools.

“I’m Guinan,” the woman said.

“Lilly.” After she said her name, the other woman got a strange look on her face for a few seconds before simply nodding. Lilly’s heart sank a little bit. Did she recognize Lilly’s name and appearance in combination? Was the captain, her ‘Uncle,’ wrong in his assumption that no one would know who she really was?

“Commander Riker, it’s nice to see you,” the woman said.

Immediately, Lilly tensed up, shrugging her shoulders and crossing her arms defensively.

“Guinan,” Riker said.

For a long moment, Guinan looked at Lilly and then shifted her eyes to Riker.

“Something I should know?” she asked.

“Just an owed apology,” Riker said.

Lilly spun around to face him, her temper flaring up so strongly that her jaw hurt from clenching her teeth just for the few seconds it took to turn around. Because there were people around, Lilly chose to speak through those clenched teeth in hopes that it would be less disruptive than the screaming she wanted to do instead.

“You followed me  _ all the way _ from Troi’s quarters to demand an apology? I already said I wasn’t trying to be offensive! Why don’t you just tie me up and leave me languishing in a holodeck  _ dungeon,  _ while you’re at it!”

His blue eyes were steely and cold as he looked at her. “Are you finished?”

“That depends on whether you’re here to  _ drag _ me anywhere,” Lilly hissed.

“I have to say, if this is practice for one of Doctor Crusher’s plays, I’m interested in watching it,” Guinan said, walking around the bar to come stand beside Riker.

“All that’s happening is a guilty conscience. I never said  _ who _ was owed or giving the apology,” Riker said, stepping forward just a little bit. The position of Lilly’s stool was elevated enough that she was almost at equal height to Riker, and with that one step, he was only an inch away from brushing up against her legs. She didn’t want to be that close to him, and she definitely didn’t want to hop down from the stool, so Lilly turned back around to face the bar, presenting him with her back.

“Commander, it seems that your date is not interested in having a conversation at the moment,” Guinan said. Lilly had only just met her, but even she could recognize the low level threat in her words.

_ “Not _ his date,” Lilly said in a voice just a touch louder than necessary.

At the same time as she spoke, Riker did as well.

“The captain would have me busted down to an Ensign. She’s his niece.”

Lilly went to turn her chair to face him again, but he’d stepped even closer, and she could only turn halfway. From that position, his upper body was very near, and she had to throw her foot sideways to brace herself from sliding over into him with the force of her angry momentum. This left her off balance at the beginning of her furious response, but she didn’t let that stop her.

“The captain--  _ ugh, _ you’re-- He wouldn’t  _ dare. _ Not that he’d ever have to, but I wouldn’t stand for that kind of abuse of power, and I’d like to think the captain wouldn’t either.”

There was a look of reluctant admiration in Riker’s eyes, and the corners of them started to crinkle as a smile grew on his face. Soon, he was grinning at her, even as he shook his head in confusion.

“You’re defending me.”

“No, I’m defending the  _ captain.” _

“It’s both,” he said, tipping forward just a bit to emphasize his point. Lilly didn’t lean back away from him because in her mind, that would concede the point.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but this could definitely qualify as a date in certain cultures.”

Lilly had completely forgotten about Guinan, who was now standing on the other side of Riker with her arms crossed. To her surprise and consternation, her tiff with Riker seemed to have gotten the attention of nearly the entire bar area, and some of the people sitting at tables were craning their necks to see what the fuss was about.

She slipped down from her seat and started for the door. Something told her Guinan would understand her rudeness in not saying goodbye.

“Stop,” Riker called out. Lilly had to force herself to keep walking, though she did falter for a few seconds. He didn’t have the authority to stop her, she decided. Only Picard did. She made it out into the corridor and headed for the turbolift.

“Computer: create vertical force field on Deck Ten, section one, plate twenty-three,” Riker said from behind her. In front of her, a shimmering wall of light appeared. Lilly didn’t have to touch it to know she wouldn’t be able to cross through it.

“I can’t believe I thought  _ I _ was the one overreacting back at dinner,” Lilly said, spinning on her heel to face him, crossing her arms tightly against her chest. Her Time Turner necklace pressed uncomfortably against her skin until she adjusted the way her right arm was positioned.

“You can’t just walk away from me when I say stop,” Riker said, walking up to her with an arrogance that made her shake her head in stunned disbelief. “There are protocols.”

“Would teaching them to me contaminate my timeline?” she asked, knowing it was impertinent and not giving a shit.

“All right, I concede that you have no way of knowing the policies and procedures aboard a ship like this. Let me enlighten you now: when a senior staff member gives a command, you obey it, whether you’re a member of the crew, a family member, or a guest.” On both sides of the force field, crew and civilians were starting to gather.

“Computer: drop force field, authorization Guinan alpha, one-eight-nine-three.”

The force field disappeared.

“All right, show’s over, either head in, head out, or go about your business,” Guinan said to the various clusters of onlookers in the corridor. Then, she walked over to stand between Lilly and Riker. “Neither of you are welcome in the lounge at this time. Come back tomorrow.”

With that, the enigmatic bartender walked back through the doors of Ten Forward and out of sight.

“I’ll escort you to your room.” Riker walked up to stand beside her but didn’t look in her direction at all.

The corridor had cleared out in a hurry, probably because of the look on Riker’s face. On a hunch, Lilly spoke aloud, but not to him.

“Computer: location of living quarters, Lilly Picard?”

_ “Lilly Picard’s living quarters are located on Deck Seven, section twenty-four B.” _

“Thank you, computer,” Lilly said in satisfaction. She smiled up at her adversary. “See? I don’t need you.”

Riker placed a firm, insistent hand on her lower back and pressed. “I never said you needed me.”

She really didn’t want him to touch her. The warmth of his hand seemed imbued with his anger and something about the contact made her stomach roil. It wasn’t nausea, and it wasn’t wholly unpleasant, either. Lilly didn’t like it one bit. The sensation distracted her from her all-out war on Riker’s presumed authority, and she simply walked along, guided by him, until they reached a turbolift. A group of civilians were waiting for it, but when they saw Lilly and Riker, they stepped aside.

“You don’t have to--” she protested.

The door opened to an empty turbolift, and Riker interrupted her, saying roughly, “Get in.”

Lilly looked up at him in frustration. “They were--”

Riker threw his arm heavily around her shoulder and practically dragged her into the turbolift, barely waiting for the doors to close to say, “Deck Seven.”

“I don’t know much about Starfleet, but I didn’t think they condoned bullying,” Lilly said in a low voice.

“What they don’t condone is insubordination,” Riker said, his voice harsh and angry.

“Is it insubordination if the person required to obey is never told about the requirement? Not that I agree I’m required to obey in the first place, especially not you in particular,” Lilly said hotly.

“Those rules are in place to protect the ship and everyone’s lives,” Riker said. The turbolift doors opened, and he gestured for her to precede him. After she stepped out, she turned around to object that once again, he was assuming she had knowledge unavailable to her, but he had an answer already. “Even if you didn’t know, you are intelligent enough to  _ guess _ at the necessity.”

Lilly wanted to say something insulting, but all she could think of was that he expected too much of her. Whatever happened to her in her own future, it had turned her from an ordinary person into someone extraordinary, somehow. Since that hadn’t happened yet, all his words did was remind her that there was some incredible upheaval that was hanging over her real life like a sword of Damocles. 

After all, how many times did ordinary people turn into impossible heroes without facing something terrifying and deadly?

She could feel tears starting to threaten as she started to picture the awful things she didn’t want to imagine happening back in her own time. She followed him in silence until he stopped outside a closed door that looked no different than any of the other doors in the corridor.

“Here,” Riker said. He crossed his arms and nodded at the door. “I’ll see that you get a list of expectations by morning.”

A final spark of impudence lit in her mind, and instead of opening her door, Lilly stood in front of it, turned to face Riker, and looked up at him in defiance. “Is it that I outrank you? Is that what bothers you?”

“You don’t outrank me,” he said, his demeanor showing that he thought her suggestion was ridiculous.

“Look it up in your rules and regulations. I bet I do.” Lilly didn’t want to let him even see inside her private quarters, certain that he’d spot something she’d chosen to display and assume it was contraband of some kind. At the same time, though, she was exhausted and tired of fighting. Lilly opened the door and moved just far enough in that it wouldn’t close again. Instead of leaving, Riker rested a hand on the bulkhead above the door, leaning into her space just enough to look intimidating to her but casual to anyone else.

“I came to find you so that  _ I _ could apologize,” he said in a biting tone. “I didn’t mean to sound like I was accusing you of not being diligent in avoiding 24th century things.”

Lilly looked up at the man who had chased her to Ten Forward, yelled at her in front of a group of people, and thought that he had the authority to make her obey him.

“Oh, okay. That makes it all better,” she said in a tired voice that she didn’t even have to fake. Then, she stepped back into her room and touched the wall panel in the place that closed the door right in his face. The blue button underneath that one was a lock.  _ That _ was one of the first things she’d learned from Beverly when she’d been shown the room.

In the morning, Lilly decided she would find out whether it was possible to set a Do Not Disturb.

8888888888

Commander William Riker walked onto the bridge the next morning to find that there was a group of engineering students inspecting the workstation behind security. This happened infrequently enough, but he always liked to welcome them and give them a little command charisma to jazz up their day. When Will approached this time, though, every one of them immediately stopped speaking to each other and looked at him with studiously blank faces. He was left feeling like he’d missed something important.

“Good morning Data,” he said, coming back down the ramp toward the seats at the heart of the bridge.

“Good morning, sir. Did you have a pleasant dinner last evening?” Data asked politely. He, too, had a blank expression, and even though Will knew that was normal, it felt out of place. Again he was in a position where it wasn’t appropriate to question the demeanor of the person he was speaking to.

“It was fine,” Will said. Data angled his head to the side, a studied gesture he’d practiced when he found a personal interaction confusing.

“Your choice of words is often used to denote a less than pleasant experience. I would not expect you to use such language to describe a dinner with close friends,” Data said.

“Well, not everyone there was a close friend,” Will said, the words spoken before he had a chance to think about every possible implication.

“Is there a problem with the captain’s niece?” Data asked, because of course he did. Data was more perceptive than most of the humans Will had supervised over his command career, with all of the positive and negative implications included.

Will decided to go for flippant in his response. He hadn’t slept well and didn’t like the idea of verbally sparring with the android, at least not first thing in the morning.

“No problem with her, she just wasn’t you, Data,” Will said, smiling broadly.

Data stared at him for a few seconds before sitting down at his place.

8888888888

Lilly had intended to sleep all day, but after sleeping past eight by a few hours, she decided to get up and pick something pretty to wear just because. That’s why she was wearing something a bit too dressy for staying in when her door chimed.

“Come in?” she called out, standing up from her couch. Lilly tugged the asymmetric hem of her skirt down a bit and looked up to see the captain in his uniform.

“I came to see how you were,” he said.

“You mean after my tantrum at dinner?” Lilly guessed. His relieved smile made her add, “Wait till you hear what happened after that.”

“I had heard, actually. Commander Riker found you in Ten Forward, where the two of you argued with such vigor that Guinan actually kicked you out?” he said, coming over to sit on a chair opposite her couch.

“Technically, she didn’t kick us out, I walked out on my own accord. It was your first officer’s anger at my refusal to listen to his orders that got us the banhammer,” Lilly said. Picard’s eyebrows shot up at the last word, and she shook her head as if to say, ‘that’s not worth explaining, trust me.’

“There is a residence code that asks everyone who lives on the ship to agree to certain necessities, including recognizing command authority,” Picard said. The way he couched his language told Lilly a lot about what he must have heard about her actions.

“I should maybe get a look at those,” Lilly said.

The amused look Picard shot her spoke volumes.

“He is seriously infuriating! I  _ get _ that he’s used to being immediately obeyed, and he probably has a really good head for when to give tough orders that need to be obeyed without question, but hollering ‘stop’ at your boss’s niece and then throwing a force field fit because she doesn’t listen isn’t one of those times,” Lilly said in a huge rush.

“Force field?” Picard asked with interest.

“Am I required to listen to him?” Lilly asked in a small voice.

“The simple answer is yes,” Picard answered immediately. He held up a hand when she drew in a deep breath to respond. “The complicated answer is: not often, and not in a situation like that.” He sighed. “I think Commander Riker’s worry is that we have no idea when you will be given the opportunity to go back to your own time, so ideally, your exposure to advanced races and technology should be minimal. He’s choosing to define the acceptable risk extremely narrowly.”

“Well, as much as I would like to fight him tooth and nail at every opportunity, that’s not good for your reputation or mine.”

“Or his?” Picard asked, a teasing expression on his face.

“I think you can guess what I think about his reputation,” Lilly said baldly.

“I like and respect him a great deal, Lilly. He is a good man. Your animosity would be better served--” Picard cut himself off and made a face.

“On the person who brought me here in the first place?” Lilly guessed.

The captain sighed deeply and leaned back in his chair, tugging on the hem of his uniform jacket. He looked like he was struggling to find the right words for his response. “I don’t want to cause you to prejudge him,” he finally said.

“The first thing Riker said when he saw me was to yell something disparaging at the ceiling. I think it was to my kidnapper,” Lilly told him.

“That is… unfortunate,” Picard said. It didn’t sound like he agreed with his own sentiment.

“What happened? This omnipotent being somehow dragged me out of my time; he’s the one that has to send me back, isn’t he?”

Picard’s eyes lit up and he smiled. “I had thought so, but that may not quite be the case. There is a young woman, raised human, who is among the beings that share his level of power. It may be possible to request  _ her _ help instead.” He made a wry face. “Unfortunately, right now she is being mentored by your kidnapper. I don’t imagine there is much she can do that he won’t know about, and if he knows about you, well.”

“Well?” Lilly prompted, feeling a bit of a chill at the way Picard’s hope could just shut down so easily at the prospect of this being knowing she existed here in the 24th century.

“Well, he may have brought you here in hopes of spending time with you,” Picard said awkwardly.

“Star-crossed lovers separated by time and space?” Lilly guessed. She hid her apprehension in her tone, but the captain didn’t miss it.

“Something like that. I don’t intend to allow him to hurt you if I can possibly help it. It may be that he will simply refuse to send you back where you belong until you warm to him.”

“Which is why you’re prepared to give me a home here for the foreseeable future,” Lilly stated. “To hopefully give us enough time to ask the other person for help, once she’s out of his influence.”

“Exactly. That is also why we should come to an agreement on expectations and help you fit in as best we can.”

Lilly grinned at the captain. “That was a tactful way of saying ‘can we not argue in public with the first officer of the entire ship?’ Well done!”

Picard’s lips twisted into a smirk. “Well, I  _ am _ known to be a diplomat,” he said. By the way he said it and the amusement in his eyes as he did so, Lilly suspected that this was an understatement. “I have asked one of the officers you haven’t met to help with this. He’s an android.”

“So, more than a robot, much more than a machine, but with aspects of both? If he’s an officer, then he must be sentient, with the ability to learn and adapt,” Lilly guessed.

“Yes,” Picard said with an approving smile. “Honestly, Data’s quirks help him to fit in just as a human would. I doubt you’ll have to ‘get used to’ him in any appreciable way, but I wanted to explain what makes him different. He’s the one who narrowed down your computer system to limit it to your own century and before. I took the liberty of arranging a meeting in my ready room-- a type of office, located off of the main bridge.” He made an odd face and immediately smiled wryly. “I realize that your presence on the ship is becoming something of a curiosity, as I’m not one to speak much about my own family. The plan, if you’re amenable, is to escort you to the meeting, giving you a chance to see the bridge.”

Lilly’s eyebrows shot up, and she went to protest, but he quickly held up a hand.

“I am aware of your concerns, but it would be far more strange of me  _ not _ to give a close relative of mine the chance to see what is essentially my workplace. If my first officer doesn’t like it, he can complain to  _ me, _ ” he said, his voice dipping into what she was quickly realizing was a disgruntled lower register. “In all honesty, both Doctor Crusher and Counselor Troi have complained that I seem disconnected to issues such as family as the captain of a ship with such a large population of them. Your appearance is an opportunity to rehabilitate that, if only slightly.”

Lilly nodded her understanding, which led the captain to tap his communicator badge.

“Mr. Data, my niece is ready to go over the materials you’ve prepared. We’ll meet you in my ready room at 1300 hours.”

_ “Acknowledged.” _

“That leaves you a few hours to yourself until after lunch, then,” Picard said, standing. When Lilly stood, he looked at her for a few seconds before speaking again. “I’ve wrestled with the question of whether speaking to you about the political climate of your own time period is an ethical thing to do, or if even discussing such universal human experiences like Shakespeare and certain musical compositions should be avoided, thanks to the gap of time in between. I wondered what you think. Leaving behind the political aspect, does the possibility that my opinions are colored by my own time period mean that a true meeting of the minds over such creative works is impossible, or can some things truly be, as I said just now, ‘universal human experiences?’”

As he’d said this, Picard’s eyes had lit up with a kind of shrewd intellectual curiosity that made Lilly want to immediately spend hours speaking with him about whatever drew his interest. Instead, though, she forced herself to think about the question he’d posed.

“You seem like you have the kind of mind that anyone who valued Shakespeare or the arts would be delighted to talk about them with you, to be honest,” Lilly said. “I think you’re right to differentiate with politics, though. A lot of political discourse is framing, and that framing can change with as little as five years’ worth of perspective, much less a few hundred! I think, though, that discussion of some things that could be considered timeless can only benefit from that kind of viewpoint shift, even if it might be initially difficult to control for the things you can’t tell me, for example.” She smiled at the captain, trying not to feel utterly outmatched. “I’d be willing to try.”

“You mean the way certain events can create such a close parallel that the separation blurs. The love story between two warring races that looks so much like Romeo and Juliet that you wonder if Shakespeare had access to a time machine,” Picard said with an amused chuckle. “Yes, I see what you mean. I’ll think some more on it, thank you.”

“You said that your officer Data has the capacity to filter out the things that I shouldn’t know about, even as it pertains to ship etiquette, right?” Lilly said as she walked the captain to the door. Picard nodded. “You could run your discussion by him first, then. Say you wanted to talk about a particular Shakespearean play, but you aren’t an android, so you don’t actually know whether some of what you know about it was available for  _ me _ to know in the 21st century. Data might know, though, right? Like if a copy of Hamlet was found in 2154, with an extra act.”

“That’s very clever, yes, thank you,” Picard said. The approval in his tone made her feel proud of herself. “I may do that. I’ll see you later, then.”

“Thanks for being so understanding about my insubordination, captain,” Lilly said meekly. Her tone was belied by the grin she wore.

“Don’t think I’m not aware of the early American attitude toward civil disobedience,” he told her, much to her amusement. Then, he nodded at her, opened the door, and left.

“So the captain likes Shakespeare, does he?” Lilly said out loud to herself. She hadn’t taken the time to re-read the plays she’d learned about in school or the ones she’d read for fun. Elementary school teaching didn’t really use the same kind of language skills needed to really comprehend The Bard, after all. Swapping back and forth from Dick and Jane style books to such elevated language was difficult, and she just hadn’t bothered.

“And modern-day elementary students probably know about ten times as much as I do about the 24th century,” she said. “I am out of a job.”

Lilly walked over to the computer console and sat down to see if Hamlet made for good mid-morning reading.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In my head the away teams 100% have little signs and signals for when they need to get the heck out even in social situations (which makes that episode with the Gamma cleaning of the ship and the 'small talk' guy even more funny because they don't have anywhere to escape TO)!
> 
> Also, I feel bad putting Riker in such stress because it pushes him out of character from what we see him in the show just a bit, but I promise that's on purpose and he'll be more himself when they're not at such huge odds with each other!


	5. Pulling Rank

###  Chapter Five: Pulling Rank

The Captain had told her to take the turbolift to the bridge and he would greet her there, but when the time came, Lilly found that she was nervous. 1300 hours was one in the afternoon, and that was a little too close to ‘everyone important will probably be on duty’ for her tastes. If she showed up at the bridge and Riker told her to leave, was that a situation where she should simply leave and then clear it up later, or did she have the standing to argue that she had a meeting to attend?

When she got there, though, Riker was not there.

“Extended lunch,” Picard had said under his breath when he greeted her at the turbolift door.

“That is  _ brilliant,” _ she said. The captain moved aside so she could walk onto the bridge. The surprising thing to her was the floor not being flat, which drew her eye toward the highest part. The configuration made sense in a space meant to maximize the viewpoint of its occupants, she supposed, but it took a bit of getting used to. Picard led her up to where Worf was standing, and she smiled brightly at him.

“Good afternoon, Worf,” Lilly said. “Wait, do we say that on a starship?” She looked over at the captain, but he was preoccupied with a panel near Worf.

“Good afternoon,” Worf said, nodding at her.

“You’re not going to tell me, are you?” she said, looking between the two men. “Just for that, I’m going to figure out how to say something really crazy in Klingon and play dumb when I ask you what it means.”

“As long as you do not expect me to translate it around the Commander,” Worf said quietly.

“It’s a deal,” Lilly said, equally quietly. After the tactical station, Picard took her down the ramp toward his chair, which she didn’t even pretend she wanted to sit on. It was clearly the place most powerful in both military protocol and actual power, two things that she could tell Captain Picard cared deeply about properly stewarding. “There are more seats here than I noticed at first!” she remarked.

“Mm, yes. All of the bridge crew have a seat, including Counselor Troi and Doctor Crusher,” Picard said. He seemed to be waiting for her to notice something.

When Lilly had first walked onto the bridge, she had been so pleased to see the Klingon officer that she hadn’t really taken in the view of the whole room, including the viewscreen that dominated the space. While they walked down the ramp, the captain had explained that there were a surprising number of controls hidden in the mechanisms of his chair, so she hadn’t noticed the screen then, either. Now, following the captain’s gaze, she turned her head and was completely dazzled by the image in front of her.

The viewscreen showed a planet very like Earth. It was alive; the clouds moved, and the topography changed as the ship made its way in orbit. It took Lilly staring at the view for a full minute before she realized that this was really happening-- this wasn’t a computer generated image in the way she would have termed it in her own time. Clearly, this wasn’t a _window,_ but this view was seen by some sort of camera that the ship’s computer was projecting on the viewscreen. It was _really_ _there_.

“I thought you might like it,” Picard said in a hushed voice beside her. 

“I do,” she said, feeling like simply agreeing with him wasn’t vehement enough. She looked over at him, feeling like she had visible hearts showing in her eyes, and the look that Picard had on his face told her that he absolutely understood. “I would fight to keep this future possible. I would fight to my last breath,” she whispered, her gaze drawn back to the planet. She felt like she could feel the captain watching her reaction, but she couldn’t look away from the view of a planet she didn’t know the name of, in a star system she had probably never heard of, possibly even in a galaxy that was undiscovered by the astronomers in her own time.

The two of them simply stood there for another few minutes until a Starfleet officer who had been seated at one of the two consoles nearest the viewscreen stood up.

“Ahh, Data. Lilly, this is Lieutenant Commander Data. Data, this is my niece, Lilly,” Picard said, holding his arm out in introduction.

Lilly supposed it would get easier to hear herself referred to in this way eventually, but she did wonder if it bothered Picard to lie. Then she remembered that he’d told her about briefing the bridge crew on her true identity.

“It’s lovely to meet you,” Lilly said. Data’s skin was definitely ‘wrong looking’ in a way that made her realize he was different, and his yellow eyes were kind of frightening, but the way his eyebrows shot up and he nodded at her in greeting was polite.

“It is good to meet you. I have configured a PADD for you, a portable tablet computer. Would you like to sit down while I tell you about it?” Data asked.

“I’d love to, thank you,” Lilly said. She turned to look at the captain, and he smiled briskly, nodding at Data.

“You’re free to use my ready room. You won’t need me for now.”

Data led her to a door in the wall near the viewscreen. As soon as she walked in, she got the sense that this space was ‘lived in’ by Picard; there was a display case for a full copy of Shakespeare and a couple of models of futuristic-looking spacecraft. She walked over to one of them and shook her head, letting out a small laugh.

“What is it?” Data asked.

“I just realized I have no idea what the ship looks like,” Lilly said. “If I were more into engineering I could probably figure out the angle of the hull based on the windows, but maybe not.”

“The model you are looking at is similar. I do not believe it would be a violation of your restrictions to show you an image of the exterior. As you said, once you have spent some time on the ship, you might learn enough to approximate some of its shape just by experience.”

“That would be pushing it, I think,” Lilly said, laughing.

“Do you wish to sit near the desk, or on the couch?” Data asked.

“The couch is fine,” Lilly said, walking over to where Data was standing. She sat down and he sat beside her, handing her a version of the flat device she’d seen Worf using in Sick Bay on her first day on the ship. He tapped at it and an image of a spacecraft with a very similar shape to the wall model filled the screen.

It was very easy to get used to talking to Data. He had a way of being precise and informative without any of the weighted words that hinted at judgments. She didn’t feel like he thought she took too long to understand or didn’t spend enough time looking at something. He explained the layout of the ship in a general way so that she knew where she should and shouldn’t be, and why. The PADD that he’d configured for her was directly connected to the special database he’d created. Data had also generated special permissions for her which would allow Lilly to access her specific database from any of the computers on board.

By the time he was done explaining everything, Lilly felt much more confident about the ship and her place on it. The last thing he showed her was a message system that allowed her to contact him without using a comm channel and possibly interrupting something more important.

“That’s basically a telephone system, you know. The comms,” she told him.

Data looked at her with interest, tipping his head to the side. “You are referring to the immediate nature of the responses, rather than the system supporting that ability?”

“Yes, exactly. It’s almost worse, actually, because of the military structure. The expectation is that you’ll respond promptly, at whatever hour, and if you don’t, you’re possibly disabled or dead and someone is going to come check.” Lilly hit the button that turned off her PADD and held it up to her chest. “With a telephone, in my time period, you could just leave a voice message if the person didn’t answer.”

“I believe that while your comparison has merit, you have likely not observed the comm system used by anyone other than members of Starfleet. I suggest gathering more data points,” the android said. The language he used was mildly discouraging, but his demeanor was not, and Lilly nodded.

“Well, thank you for everything! I feel much more confident about my place here, and all without an unnecessary guilt trip about whether I’m betraying my entire planet in the process,” Lilly said. She got up and walked back over to the ship model.

“Are you referring to Commander Riker?” Data asked, coming over to join her.

“I didn’t mean to gossip,” Lilly said, flushing. “Forget it.”

“The Commander is particularly provoked by his interactions with the entity that brought you here. You may be a proxy for this irritation. I do not believe it is intentional,” Data said.

“It’s nice of you to want to defend him, but once you’ve driven a man to create a force field to make you talk to him, it’s probably beyond proxy irritation.”

Data made a noise of interest and looked at her with fascination. “You will need to tell me about that, at some point,” he said. “For now, I need to return to duty.”

“Definitely.” Lilly moved toward the door and it opened automatically.

“I have added a few lists of well-regarded books from your own time period. Likewise with music. The captain said you seemed like you might like to keep busy,” Data said just before she stepped onto the bridge. 

8888888888

When Will got back from his extended lunch (a suggestion by the captain), the bridge looked the same as it had when he left, except for the fact that Data wasn’t at his station. He mentioned that to Picard and the captain’s response seemed evasive when he said that Data was in ‘a meeting.’

It wasn’t until a half hour later that he understood the evasiveness.

The door to Picard’s ready room opened and Data walked out, along with Lilly.

“I can’t wait to look at them, honestly,” she said to Data with a smile on her face. Then she looked over at where Will was standing, and the smile disappeared. The captain got up from his chair, nodded to Lilly, and walked over to his ready room, pausing in the door as if wanting to ensure she reached the turbolift without incident.

“I can not walk you to your quarters, as I am still on duty,” Data said to Lilly.

“It’s fine, I know the way,” she said. Was it his imagination or had she said that a little louder than necessary? As Lilly walked up toward the turbolift she looked behind Will toward the weapons station and smiled again. “Data?” she called back down to the android.

“Yes?”

“If I sent you a few things that I wanted to know, nothing that would, you know, destroy the universe or anything, would you take a look at them and decide whether you can tell me? Little things that shouldn’t matter, like saying ‘hello’ in Klingon?”

Data looked momentarily taken aback, but he nodded. “I believe I could do that for you, yes.”

“Thank you!” she said. She didn’t look at Will, but he felt like that entire exchange was directed squarely at him. “See you, Worf!” she said, stepping up to the turbolift.

“Qapla'!” Worf said. He was  _ actually smiling, _ Will noted. That smile got toothier when Worf looked in his direction, too.

Will went looking for the captain, handing off control of the bridge to Data. He tapped the panel at the door to request entry to the ready room, and heard Picard call for him to ‘come.’

“Do you have a minute?” Will said after he walked in. The captain smiled, and the wry expectation on his face told Will Picard probably had been expecting his visit.

“Sit down,” Picard said. He looked like he’d only just sat down himself.

Will walked over, threw his leg over the top of the chair, and sat. He took a deep breath, and dived headlong into the issue. “I assume you brought your niece onto the bridge to head off rumors after my argument with her outside of Ten Forward,” he said, catching a nod from Picard. “But… Klingon translations?”

Picard leaned back in his chair and let out a breath. “I’ll admit, I hadn’t expected that.”

“Is it a good idea?”

“Is  _ any _ of this a good idea?” Picard mirrored back. “It seems incredible that she is not the only person from around that time period to have been on the Enterprise, but she has handled it better than her predecessors, wouldn’t you say?”

Riker winced. “I think I had wiped my mind of that incident.” He had tried to forget that the Enterprise had found a cryogenic shelter ship a few years back with 20th century humans on board. It was not one of his favorite experiences.

“I looked over my personal logs about it last night. She is, of course, less affected by the deaths of her friends and family thanks to the certain knowledge that, somehow, she’ll end up back with them.”

“I’m less concerned about how she handles that loss than I am of losing  _ you, _ sir. We got you back from the Borg. I don’t want to lose you to forces that could be tipped by something as simple as the amount of information she’ll take back with her,” Will said, shaking his head decisively. “The way Q talked about time travel was cavalier and chilling.”

“I firmly believe that if the act of bringing her here hasn’t upset that delicate balance, then small things like factual knowledge about eventual space travel and contact with other races are things she’ll be able to conceal.” Picard’s tone was firm and his jaw was set. Will knew that meant his time for persuasion was over. Now was the time to be gracious in his defeat.

“I look forward to finding out you’re right,” he said, standing up and smiling with as much charm as he could summon.

“Your faith in me has been a source of strength for many years,” Picard said, standing. Will looked over at him, stunned into silence. “Don’t look at me like that,” the captain reproached him. “I could hardly miss the deeper meaning to all of this.”

Later, when he was off duty and in the shower, Will stood and let the water cascade over his face as if it could wash away the guilt he felt when he’d simply nodded his agreement to that version of events. Somewhere deep inside of him, the knowledge that he hadn’t acknowledged the  _ real _ issue waited.

He continued to ignore that feeling.

8888888888

**Message to: Data**

**Message from: LPicard**

**Message body:**

Hello Data,

I hope I’m doing this right (I assume no one uses the ‘dear [name]’ salutation anymore)! I have just a few questions:

  1. I would dearly like to learn just a few Klingon words or phrases, such as a greeting or even, if not the actual language, the translation of typical phrases they use in situations like a greeting. For example, Worf told me that Klingons do not say ‘goodbye,’ but rather wish their speaking partner success in battle. So if learning the language is a step too far, teaching me an analogue to ‘success!’ for their version of ‘good morning’ would suffice.
  2. Could you possibly make a list of idioms that are not in common use anymore? As much as I’d love to look like I just have an affinity for old phrases, that combined with my appearance might prompt someone to think I want to talk about the life of a particular historical figure. I don’t want to give anyone that impression!
  3. This may seem like a strange question, but: Is there a list somewhere that shows where each Starfleet rank is in relation to other titles and ranks from Earth? I’m just curious.



Thank you for everything you’ve already done, and thanks in advance for whatever you’re able to answer in good conscience.

Lilly

8888888888

**Message to: LPicard**

**Message from: Data**

**Message body:**

Lilly,

The use of ‘dear’ as a salutation is not as archaic as you appear to think. It is true, however, that it is not as commonly used as it was in other centuries. Its use is generally limited to ceremonial correspondence.

As you may have ascertained from speaking with Lieutenant Worf, Klingon language is very situational, and as such, I refer you to the captain. He is well-versed in Klingon.

This message includes a file that lists phrases from the relevant century that would be considered ‘out of common use’ by this century. As a matter of caution, I recommend that you avoid learning any new phrases that you may inadvertently take back with you.

Your request about ranks and hierarchy led me to conclude that you are asking whether your rank is superior to that of the bridge crew. Similar to the convention that ‘a captain is the ruler of his ship’ as understood in ancient times, Starfleet holds that a captain and his senior officers hold a unique position during crises onboard a starship. This means that even heads of state and rulers of planets must defer to the captain’s orders. Since the first and second officers are presumed to be agents of the captain’s authority, their orders would also fall under this deference.

During regular starship operation, there is a kind of ceremonial courtesy which is typically extended. This gives the appearance of yielding to civilian rank and royalty. This is considered under the umbrella of the Prime Directive; authority and autonomy is often important to every society that Starfleet comes into contact with. There have been court cases on Earth that hold that, given the way that the Starfleet operates with such a far reach, Earth should benefit from the same policy as non-Earth cultures.

The outcomes would not apply here, as they fall under [redacted] common law, and extend from, at the earliest, stardate [redacted] and birthdates afterwards. That being said, I find the question itself intriguing. Were the Enterprise to be thrown back to a previous version of Earth, I believe that myself, Captain Picard, and my fellow officers would see that society as deserving of the protection of the Prime Directive. The inverse, then, ought to hold true--which, indeed, is the purpose of your special limited database and the choice not to keep you in medical stasis.

Thus, my initial conclusion was that your rank should be respected except in times of crisis, and I anticipated that you would request a definition of that crisis. However, in thinking about how to define it, I realized that, given that your presence on the ship could be considered a crisis should something happen to prevent your return, it could be argued that such a presence constitutes an ongoing crisis. This would negate the ceremonial courtesy of recognizing your civilian rank as superior.

I must thank you for the opportunity to examine the latter situation for its legal intricacies. If you permit me to, I’d like to speak with Captain Picard about the issues this investigation has brought up. I anticipate that the conversation will be hypothetical, one that would not affect your current permissions.

I regret that this conclusion does not place you any closer to an answer. Perhaps we can discuss it at the reception in my quarters following my art exhibition on Friday? Everyone I have invited knows about your situation.

Data

8888888888

Lilly spent the days between receiving Data’s message and his art exhibition listening to music and looking at, replicating, and cataloguing her favorite of the knitting pattern books and magazines she now had access to, thanks to his database.

She felt slightly guilty about it, though. Data had clearly put thought and computation time into the task of limiting her to only the things published by the date she remembered as her last in the 21st century, but he had forgotten a very important bit of context.

Lilly would never have  _ actually _ had access to all of them, not without an inordinate amount of money.

Sure, they’d been  _ published _ by the year 2006, but they weren’t free at the time! She imagined that not everything that had been available up to that year was available to be included, but she recognized some of the magazines and she definitely knew the music. The replicator did a spectacular job of replicating natural fiber yarn (something Lilly was completely certain was thanks to previous coding and work done by like-minded knitters), and after she’d discovered the extensive catalogue of audiobooks included in her specialized computer, Lilly was quite happy to remain in her room knitting to the voices of long-dead celebrities reading books she’d always wanted to take the time to read.

She was halfway through knitting a lacy cardigan in the exact shade of maroon red that officers in Starfleet wore when her door chimed. It was Beverly.

“Well you’ve done some decorating!”

Lilly looked around. There was a bookcase in the room already (though it had been used more as a display case than a bookcase), and she’d dragged it over to a stretch of wall near the couch beside the ‘windows.’ She had plans to ask her ‘uncle’ if she could have permission to use the replicator used to make furniture and rugs so she could make a few larger objects for the room. As it was, she’d made do with the smaller replicator she had to make some things that made the room feel more ‘hers,’ such as a few glass bowls full of some of the yarn she’d replicated, and some wallhangings. Because her quarters had no way to block the view of anyone who came to the door, Lilly had avoided displaying things that might be very obvious relics of her own century. She had asked Data whether knitting counted as one of those, and he’d assured her that, while archaic, it wasn’t a hobby that was anything more than ‘remarkable.’

“Beverly, is that your way of complimenting my room’s personality instead of its looks?” Lilly accused, grinning.

Her friend smiled. “No, but that’s the sort of thing I’d say,” she admitted. “I was more pleased to see that you’re settling in by putting some color into the room.”

“I’ve ‘accepted my situation?’” Lilly asked her.

“No, not that far along. You’re soothing yourself with the familiar, put it like that,” Beverly said. Then, she laughed. “That being said, let’s go over to Data’s quarters and blow away the familiar with whatever he’s got in store for us, shall we?” Her voice had deepened into a wry sarcasm that made Lilly feel better than her earlier words about the small things she’d done in her own quarters. Beverly’s tone was that of camaraderie, and Lilly couldn’t help but respond.

Data’s quarters had a small section of easels with various paintings displayed on them. Lilly and Beverly seemed to be the last two of the invited guests, as Data stepped up on a small square platform and said a few words that sounded profoundly rehearsed yet somehow completely sincere. 

After having spent nearly four days in her rooms without any more contact with others than a visit from the captain and messages back and forth with Data, Lilly was grateful to be around people but also a little overwhelmed. She looked around the room, feeling as though someone was missing until the door opened and Riker walked in, looking harried. He immediately went over to Data and apologized for his lateness.

“Commander, I would be pleased to repeat my welcome speech if you--”

“No, no, I don’t think that will be necessary,” Beverly said in a voice of forced congeniality. Data looked between her and Riker and then nodded, seeming to be a bit disappointed.

“If you are certain?”

“The art is the important part, isn’t it?” Riker said, grinning. “Tell me about this one?”

He threw an arm around Data’s shoulders and led him to a nearby piece. Lilly saw Beverly mouth something to Riker and caught Deanna’s look of profound amusement.

“I imagine it can be hard sometimes not to laugh to share the joke when there isn’t an abundance of body language to give it away,” Lilly said to her after walking over.

“It really is,” Deanna admitted. “I actually enjoy the way Data tries so hard to program his body language to hint at appropriate emotional reactions. In a way, it feels like a gift for me, even though I know he does it to act more like a human being. He also does it to fit in, help those around him to feel more comfortable.”

“He’s honestly one of the most thoughtful people I’ve ever met,” Lilly said.

“You should tell him,” Deanna said, sipping from her drink. “He would appreciate hearing that.”

“I will,” Lilly promised. She looked over her shoulder at where Data and Riker were and caught Riker looking at her, his brow furrowed. Lilly’s breath caught. She felt a rush of frustration and another, deeper emotion that felt almost like jealousy. What made her so awful to this man that he seemed to sour at the very sight of her? It seemed like no matter how he acted around her, it was impossible to exist near him and not want him to smile at her the way he did toward the others. It didn’t mean anything more than the typical desire of any human being to be interesting and entertaining rather than repugnant, she told herself. That’s all it was.

When Lilly looked back at Deanna, she saw that her eyes were full of surprise and concern.

“That was a pretty strong reaction,” Deanna said in a quiet voice.

“What reaction?” Lilly said, taking a deep breath and holding her arms rigid against the desire to cross them in front of her. Deanna made a face that spoke volumes, and Lilly sighed. “All right, there was a reaction. An  _ internal _ one. I thought I did a good job not showing anything, speaking of body language!”

“You did. But we both know that there was a lot more going on underneath.”

“Oh, no big deal,” Lilly said, wincing at the phrasing. It was on Data’s list of archaic sayings. “Just the ship’s second in command hating my guts. Shit, that was on the list too.”

“List?” Deanna said, the corner of her mouth turning up.

“Data made me a list of things no one says anymore. I’m full of them, unfortunately.” Lilly laughed and shook her head. “‘Chock’ full of them.”

Beverly walked over after speaking to the captain, and as she leaned up against the place the wall jutted out to form the boundary of the room, Deanna spoke again.

“You did a good job of deflection, but I am not easily deterred.”

“Ooh, what are we avoiding?” Beverly asked, her eyebrows going up.

“Nothing that we’re going to talk about in the room we’re in with the company we’re surrounded by,” Lilly said under her breath with forced gaiety.

“Fair enough,” Beverly said. “The second round of vaccines you need should be ready tomorrow. There’s a whole story about why they developed vaccines that weren’t able to be detected--some of it was because of the threat of reverse engineering the diseases themselves, not that I should be telling you that!” She seemed to realize what she was saying halfway through, possibly because Riker had approached their group, Lilly thought.

Lilly smiled at Beverly before turning away, meaning to leave and mingle elsewhere. Before she got the chance, though, Deanna threaded her arm through Lilly’s and kept her in place. When glaring at her didn’t work, Lilly tugged as surreptitiously as she could without seeming to be rude. That had no effect, so Lilly stood and listened to the three Starfleet officers talk about Data’s art for a few minutes.

Her body was turned to the side after trying to get free of Deanna’s inexorable grip, and Lilly felt like adjusting her stance would be letting her friend win, so she pulled her hair free and let it fall around her face instead of in the low ponytail with its decorative clip. Around and between this curtain of hair, she watched Riker, Deanna, and Beverly chat. Riker’s face was very expressive; he listened attentively, spoke with animation, and throughout the conversation seemed to give himself over to an amusement that transformed his face in an attractive way. 

She felt his pull, and it was that which prompted her to draw attention to herself in a last effort to get free.

“I’m sorry to interrupt but I do actually need my arm back, if you don’t mind. It’s been days since I’ve had a chance to talk to my uncle in person,” Lilly said.

“Oh, of course,” Deanna said as if she’d never meant to trap her in the first place.

“Maybe next time you could send him a message instead of feeling the need to leave your quarters,” Riker said in a conversational tone.

Lilly had already turned her back to the group, but she spun around. “It’s not like I have a contagious disease! I  _ chose _ not to go anywhere, I don’t have a restriction on my movements.”

“Don’t you?” Riker said in a quiet, almost menacing voice.

“Solitude isn’t medically recommended even if she did have a restriction!” Beverly’s voice was firm, and she was looking at Riker.

“Recommended or not, I’m sure you’d agree she’s safer in her quarters. It’s not as if she can’t have visitors.”

All amusement and light had gone from his face now, and replacing them was a severity and hardness that made her feel awful. Lilly hated how disappointed she felt in that moment, because deep down she knew it wasn’t just because he was threatening to confine her to her quarters. This man would probably never smile at her in that brilliant way that made her insides twist, the way she’d seen him smile at Deanna or the captain.

_ “‘She’ _ is right here. And you don’t have the authority to force me to stay in my rooms,” Lilly said, crossing her arms.

“Excuse me?” Riker drew himself up straight, tipping his head just slightly to the side to stare at her. Some of the other guests were drifting over to them, and

all their conversations seemed to have cut off as if someone had hit a mute button.

Lilly wondered whether anyone else in the room would understand that reference.

“I’m in charge of personnel and guests on the ship. I can assure you, I  _ have _ the authority,” Riker continued.

“Maybe in a crisis, you would. Right now, though, I outrank you.” Lilly was shaking internally, her eyes locked onto his face. She saw him react to her inflammatory statement, recognized fury in his expression, and locked down her own inexplicable disappointment. He would never smile at her now.

Riker took a step toward her. “You don’t even have a rank! Pretending to be related to a captain does not confer any authority--”

“I hold a civilian rank,” Lilly interrupted. 

Riker advanced again, glaring down at her, a foot away. “You shouldn’t even  _ know _ about that!”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I am a princess.  _ You _ could lose your rank, but mine is by birthright.” 

“And how long have you even known about that? Three weeks?” he snapped.

“Commander?” It was Picard, his voice mild and curious. He walked over to stand beside, almost between them.

“Sir?” Riker turned his head to look at the captain.

“I received an interesting message from Data a few days ago. It was about this very situation.” Picard’s body language was relaxed, and his tone was that of a storyteller. “Interestingly, because Lilly is from Earth, the rules about this are more restrictive than if she’d been from any other planet. It was only a few dozen years ago that certain Earth leaders pointed out that their authority isn’t treated the same as other races’. We generally do not, as a rule, consider that the Prime Directive is in play with our own people.” He smiled at both of them, and Lilly marveled at the way he’d used an anecdote like that to diffuse their anger. 

“The Prime Directive?” Riker sounded skeptical. Then, he held up a hand, clearly thinking about it. “We treat foreign leaders with deference in order to preserve their social autonomy.”

“Exactly,” Picard said.

“I think she’s clearly smart enough to know we’re not undermining her authority on 21st century Earth, sir,” Riker said. “Authority she hasn’t held for very long, if at all.”

“No matter what my life is like in my own place and time, dismissing me and treating me like a nuisance hurts the same way,” Lilly said, raising her voice. “Princess or ditch digger alike!”

“Perhaps it is as simple as saying ‘Please,’” Worf said from across the room.

Lilly looked over at him along with everyone else. She made eye contact with him and smiled ever so slightly.

“Forgive me for interrupting, sir,” Worf said to Picard.

“No offence taken, Lieutenant. Go on?”

Worf clasped his hands together behind his back. “The disagreement is over a perceived slight. Klingons would battle each other to establish a hierarchy. However, in your language, the use of authority can be… softened. With politeness.”

Picard turned back to Riker, but said nothing.

“I can do that,” Riker said, unexpectedly. He took a half step in her direction. “I’d like to ask that, in the interests of protecting our interests in your future, you consider my request that you please keep to your quarters? Within reason, of course.”

There was no insolence in his delivery. There was no arrogance, either. Lilly was surprised, but they were in a room full of his peers and friends. A thought occurred to her as she looked up at him, and though she tried to suppress it, her lips twisted in amused reaction to that thought.

Riker raised his eyebrows at her, but didn’t seem upset. Yet.

“I’m so sorry, I had a thought of how I could respond and I--” she shook her head. “It occurred to me to say, simply, ‘No, thank you,’” she admitted, giving in to the urge to grin impudently at him. There were some chuckles from the guests around her, and she recognized Picard’s laugh. For his part, Riker didn’t smile, but his expression gentled a bit, becoming less commanding. “I’m amenable, but would a gathering like this be considered ‘within reason?’ And, can I visit Guinan?”

“Yes to both,” Riker said after shooting a look over at the captain, who nodded.

“Then, I accept,” Lilly said, dipping her head a tiny bit in acknowledgement of him.

Because she was looking right at him when she responded, Lilly caught the split second of shock on Riker’s face before he schooled it away. Around her, there was an odd, uncomfortable silence.

“I’m-- Good. Thank you,” Riker said. He walked away from her toward Data’s art, and Deanna followed after him.

Lilly wondered what had happened to cause such an odd reaction, but the low hum of conversation had started up again, and she’d had enough of being the center of uncomfortable attention.

“I’m afraid you’ll have to wait over a week for that visit with Guinan,” Picard said. “Myself, Guinan, and another person you haven’t met are all due for some shore leave in two days.”

“Oh, like a vacation? That’s nice,” Lilly said, meaning it. Picard spoke to her about the archaeological opportunities he was looking forward to while on the planet he was scheduled to visit. Their conversation ended and he moved on to talk to a man with a strange contraption that covered his eyes. Lilly sipped her drink and watched everyone in their small groups of conversation before she walked back over to look at Data’s paintings.

“I hope you do not mind that I forwarded our conversation to the captain without telling you about it first,” Data said, coming up to stand beside her.

“Oh, it didn’t occur to me at the time, but I think I probably expected you to do that, it’s not a problem,” Lilly assured him.

“Is this painting a close-up of this section on this canvas?” Beverly asked, coming over.

They spoke about the painting, and something Data said during that conversation reminded Lilly of something she’d meant to ask him.

“Data, is it possible for you to make a mistake?” she asked, once Beverly seemed to be finished speaking to him about his art. Lilly had tried to ask in a relatively quiet tone, but she could see that some of the officers who were nearby looked over on hearing her question.

“That depends on what kind of mistake you are referring to. If it is a computation, unless the underlying data is faulty, the answer is no, I can not make a mistake. If you are referring to what might be described as a ‘judgment call,’ however, it is possible that another person in my place could make a different decision. In that way, they may disagree with my choice as they would have chosen differently, and characterize it as a ‘mistake.’”

“That makes sense,” Lilly said.

“May I ask if you were speaking generally or specifically?”

“Specifically,” Lilly told Data. “When I first started looking into the database you made for me, I decided to listen to some of the most recent music in there. I discovered an album from a musical that I completely fell in love with, so I looked up the details.” Deanna and Riker were nearby and started walking over, but Lilly focused on Data, hoping that she wouldn’t upset the truce she’d just established with the first officer. “The date on the album was after I left,” she said, lowering her voice a little.

“Ah,” Data said, clearly recognizing her issue. “That was a judgment call on my part. Your journals are very detailed, and in constructing your database, I chose to include some things mentioned in those journals. I saw no reason to restrict things created so close to the date you provided, as they are well known favorites of your older self.”

In a way it made sense, she supposed. What was ten or so years of ‘extra’ access, when the span of time between now and the day she left was in the hundreds?

Something still nagged at her, though.

“Thank you, that makes sense, I guess,” Lilly said. “You said the things you included were things I’d written about loving?”

“Yes.”

“I’m sure you can pretend that you only just heard them, once you get back?” Beverly said placatingly.

“Well yes, I could, it’s just that-- well, some of them are things I can’t imagine I’d like! It’s silly, don’t worry about it, never mind,” Lilly said, feeling like she was drawing attention to herself yet again.

“What kind of things?” Deanna asked.

“You can probably sense that I’m confused,” Lilly said ruefully.

“I can, but I would never expect a friend or coworker to apologize for feeling emotions around me,” Deanna told her. “If you want to explain why you are confused, you can, but you aren’t obligated to.”

“Are you saying that, despite what is recorded in your journals, you find some of the selections I made distasteful?” Data asked, seeming to be very curious about her answer.

“Yes,” Lilly said. “It’s just that I don’t like jazz, and there’s… well, there’s a lot of it!”

Deanna, Beverly, and Riker both looked very surprised at this. Surprised enough that Lilly felt like she needed to soften her stance, just a little.

“Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I think there isn’t talent in it, and I’m impressed by the musicality of the great performers, and everything, but it’s definitely not my thing.”

“You don’t like jazz,” Riker’s comment was more of a statement than a question, and when she looked over at him, he looked off balance.

“Not really, no. I always thought maybe if I got the right introduction to it--” she stopped talking. His reaction was decidedly peculiar, and it was disconcerting enough that she wanted to change the subject. “It doesn’t matter. I guess I will change my mind at some point! The musical I found and looked up had a lot of jazzy influences to it and I adore it, so what do I know?”

Riker had backed away a bit, and Deanna looked over at her in concern. Beverly caught Lilly’s attention, though, by asking a question.

“What is it called? I’ll have to check it out,” she said.

“Hadestown,” Lilly told her. “I’m sure it’s been lost to history except for the dutiful compilation of recorded works, but I’ll admit I’m grateful Data cheated a bit on the dates.”

After that, Beverly talked about something else, and Lilly didn’t really dwell on prompting yet another strange reaction in Riker. The gathering broke up and Lilly made it back to her quarters by herself, relieved but worn out by the emotional ups and downs of the evening.

She decided to listen to Hadestown to fall asleep, and as she lay in her bed looking up at the starfield outside the window, she realized something about the mythology the musical was based on.

Alongside the main love story of Eurydice and Orpheus, two other characters in the musical were Hades and Persephone-- a powerful god who saw a woman, fell for her, and kidnapped her, taking her to his own domain.

He even let her return to her own world to live her life, after a period of time.


	6. The Road to Hell

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: The timeline for Season 6, episode 6, ‘Rascals’ is loose enough that I am certain there’s at least one overnight with the de-aged characters before the Ferengi show up.

###  **Chapter Six: The Road to Hell**

It was the middle of the night and Will was still awake.

He felt like his center of gravity had been compromised. The worst part was that he didn’t think he could repair it until he’d fully examined what had caused the damage, and he didn’t want to. With the captain going on shore leave, though, Will knew he would be in charge, and that meant he should be well rested. Unfortunately, ‘well rested’ was on the other side of an examination of the events of Data’s party.

Lilly had stood up to him, spirited and determined and angry. If Deanna hadn’t been worried about his volatility before, she surely would be now, because he’d felt his heart respond to Lilly at multiple points. He’d always been drawn to assertive women, even though more times than not, they’d been  _ too _ confident,  _ too _ demanding,  _ too _ determined to have their way. Lilly’s journals and his knowledge of her historical behavior told him that she wasn’t one of those kinds of women, and her attitude the night before had borne that out. 

Worf’s compromise about asking nicely had been something Will knew he should have considered before; he was ashamed of himself in that regard. He didn’t feel diminished by the softened language, but he did feel that he had a blind spot when it came to her. He should have thought of it himself.

Furthering his stress level was the fact that, in agreeing to his requests, she’d used the same phrasing as she would when accepting her future husband’s proposal! ‘Then, I accept.’ Will had nearly gone speechless. Her teasing capitulation had been endearing and attractive. He loved that she wasn’t overly stubborn, and he liked that she was bold enough to challenge him in a room full of people. His problem was that if he was truthful with himself, he wanted far, far more than that.

He’d retreated from her to speak to Deanna, eventually agreeing to meet with her at some point during the captain’s shore leave. He knew her concern was warranted, but he’d wished in that moment that the Enterprise had a fully human, non-Betazoid ship’s counselor. After a few minutes, Deanna had overheard part of Lilly’s conversation and moved closer. His own curiosity had been too much to overcome, and he’d heard Lilly confess to disliking jazz.

The Lilly he ‘knew’ loved jazz. It was part of the reason he’d been intrigued by her journals in the first place.

There was a conclusion to be made about this development, and Will realized it was that deduction which kept him awake. How else could he explain the discrepancy except that he was the common link? The steps to that conclusion were so obvious that anyone with the same information he had would be driven to agree.

Somehow, despite his determination to distance himself from her--he, the reigning lover of jazz on the ship--Will was going to persuade Lilly to like it at some point before she left. He groaned and rubbed the heels of his palms against his eyes. With evidence like this, from her own lips, what was the point of keeping away? 

Unless Q managed to influence her in some twisted revenge for Will daring to interfere?

Will got up, throwing his light blanket to the side in a crumpled heap. That last thought was both too much to bear thinking about and a sign that his mind was leaping to greater and greater extremes. 

He splashed water on his face and looked at himself in the mirror. His hair was in disarray and his eyes were bloodshot.

“You definitely look handsome enough for a princess,” he said sardonically to his reflection. As soon as he said it, though, he made a dismissive noise. He knew her. Lilly only cared about her status when it came to her own independence. Seeing that in person was just more encouragement that he didn’t need.

Will picked his blanket up from the floor and sighed. Sleep seemed far away.

“Computer, play an album of a musical from the 21st century called Hadestown?” he said impulsively.

_ “Playing Hadestown, Original Broadway Cast Recording: Road to Hell.” _

Immediately, the brassy, confident sound of a trombone playing a jazz riff filled the room. 

Will sat down on his bed, utterly stunned. A chorus of voices hummed in harmony. When the singer started, his voice was full of personality, and the song expanded with enthusiasm and musicality, everything he loved about jazz itself. He listened to the song without really hearing the lyrics, loving the song’s backbone of trombone and the singular quality of the male singer’s voice. The computer didn’t tell him the name of the next song, but he knew he could ask if he wanted. Instead, he listened to the sultry harmony of voices and the young lead singer, feeling both soothed and bewildered. Lilly had said she loved this, and he could see why. He did, too, so far. The more he listened, the more the fact that the first instrument in the whole thing was a trombone seemed too coincidental to be real.

Almost like it was fate.

Will felt his body start to loosen up and he lay back to listen, falling asleep before he heard the beginning of the fifth song on the album.

8888888888

The Enterprise ferried a contingent of diplomats from one system to another while the captain was on shore leave, and Lilly spent that time in her quarters. She had a few brief visits from Beverly, and Deanna had also dropped by in her official capacity to check up on her. After that visit, Lilly understood more about why Deanna seemed to be pulling away from her a bit-- she had decided that her close friendship with Riker meant she would have a conflict if she acted as Lilly’s counselor. 

“Honestly, being able to sense the conflict between you makes me feel compelled to mediate it. Neither one of you is reading the other’s reactions properly,  _ but that’s not my business,” _ Deanna had said, trailing off the end of her statement in obvious frustration at herself.

The day before they were due to pick up the three vacationing ship members, Data invited Lilly over for dinner with himself and the chief engineer of the ship, who she hadn’t met yet. He even came by to escort her.

“The doctor tells me you have been staying in your quarters almost exclusively,” he said to her as they walked along the corridor.

“Yes, well, to be honest, with all the access to books, movies, and music that I have even just from my own time, I have been keeping busy. Thank you for including textbooks and recordings of video classes. I’ve been learning meteorology!” Lilly told Data.

“I am confused. Did you not have access to those things during your own time?”

“I did, yes, but they cost money,” Lilly said, biting her lip. He wouldn’t remove her access retroactively, would he? “I also was busy with various other things at the time, like my job.”

They’d arrived at Data’s quarters, and he gestured for her to enter in front of him. When she walked in, a man wearing the gold uniform of a Lieutenant (or Lieutenant Commander, perhaps) stood up from where he’d been sitting at the small table. It was the same man she’d noticed at the art gathering, the one with the metal contraption affixed to his face.

From the way he smiled and nodded at her in greeting, Lilly decided it must be related to his vision. He could clearly see her just fine.

“Lilly, this is my friend Geordi LaForge. Geordi, this is Lilly,” Data said formally. Lilly grinned at Data and shook Geordi’s hand. Before either of them could speak, though, Data spoke again. “Is it rude for me not to include your false surname? Geordi is privy to the truth of your situation, so I chose not to refer to you that way.”

“Not rude at all,” Lilly said. “Hello Geordi, I’m glad to finally meet you! I hope you’ve recovered from the excitement that kept you busy when I first arrived?”

“Thank you for remembering,” Geordi said, staying standing until Lilly had seated herself at the table with Data’s assistance with her chair. “I won’t go into details about it, but I pulled some long shifts that whole week. It took a while to get everyone back in their regular places at their regular hours, that’s for sure.”

Geordi’s chuckle was friendly, and Lilly decided she liked him a lot. He told Lilly about an amusing personnel issue and somehow managed to completely avoid giving her any information she shouldn’t know about the ship’s technology. After that story, Geordi rolled the spaghetti noodles onto his fork using his spoon while telling her the kinds of things his VISOR let him see beyond regular human ability. The juxtaposition was comforting in a way--despite being on a huge ship with so much more living space than she’d ever imagined would be allowed on an actual starship, humans were still as human as they ever were.

Data didn’t say much except to support Geordi’s stories with interesting (and sometimes unexpected) facts. By the time they were eating the delicate fruit tart he’d replicated for their dessert, Lilly decided that the android was enjoying himself. She got the distinct impression that he’d almost ‘shown off’ Geordi for her, and perhaps vice versa.

“Data tells me that you have access to the Holodeck?” Geordi asked her, setting his fork down. “I will spend the next ten minutes scraping up the rest of this sauce if I don’t have you take my plate, Data!” he added. “Thanks.”

_ “Access, _ yes,” Lilly said. “I haven’t gone yet, mostly because I feel like that would cross over past the line of ‘within reason’ your first officer put in place.”

“He sounded pretty adamant. The two of you are like oil and water, it seems to me,” Geordi observed.

“I don’t know why, but I love that you still use that phrase!” Lilly said. “So many idioms I use are out of the vernacular. I’m encouraged that one is still recognizable.”

“I’ve done my fair share of working in garages. On a couple of different planets, even,” Geordi said, shaking his head and chuckling. “I have to say I prefer this ship’s engine room over all of them, though.”

“For good reason. I don’t know much, but from what I do know, this is one of the best ships out there,” Lilly said. “Don’t tell the Commander I said that, though. I might get restricted to replicated water and bread.”

“You are referring to the punishment of prisoners in ancient times, are you not?” Data asked, sounding interested. “There would be no purpose in punishing behavior by restricting a person’s diet to something unhealthy.”

“I imagine part of using that as punishment was the cost of supplying good food to people who were either your enemies or had damaged society by their behavior,” Lilly pointed out. “I wonder how much history has been casually misinterpreted by the way society moves on and advances, centuries later.”

“While that would be a fascinating phenomenon to study, there are many reasons why you should not be the person to conduct that kind of examination,” Data told her.

“Changing the subject back to the Holodeck for a moment,” Geordi said with amusement in his voice, “You should really try it out. Data’s computer restrictions should cover any objections, and it’s standard for Starfleet to recommend regular visits to those who are newly assigned to a starship.”

His concern was touching, and Lilly realized that Deanna had mentioned something along those lines a few weeks ago. Their conversation turned to the various programs that Data and Geordi enjoyed most in the Holodeck until it was time to leave. She thanked Geordi and Data for the food and company, and Data walked her back to her room.

“Geordi wanted me to tell you that he can access Holodeck records, and plans to create a program which would be… frustrating for you to experience, should he not see your name among the list of recent users,” Data told her when the two of them reached Lilly’s door.

“It sounds way more ominous than it probably was meant to be, in your unique phrasing,” Lilly told him, laughing.

“I told him it did not sound persuasive. He asked me what I would come up with instead, and I said that I could offer to take up the subject with the captain when he returns in a few hours, if you did not promise to change your mind,” Data said.

“I don’t know if I want to encourage either of your options!” Lilly said, still laughing. “How about I say I’ll go if you both promise not to make threats?”

“That will be sufficient,” Data said. “Thank you for your visit. Sleep well.”

Lilly walked into her rooms with a smile on her face. It had been a lovely evening, she’d definitely made a new friend and gained new insight into Data,  _ and _ she had read King Lear in preparation for talking with the captain about it once he returned. It had been a good week, even though she had spent most of it in isolation.

8888888888

One thing Lilly was still struggling to get used to in this new century was the idea that you let people right into your quarters within seconds of them requesting entry. It wasn’t that she was a  _ messy _ person, but she wasn’t always mentally prepared for an instant visitor! So when she responded to the chime with ‘Come in?’ and no one entered, Lilly was surprised. She found that the surprise itself was an indicator of how settled she was in her new life.

She opened the door herself to find a teenage boy dressed in a command uniform.

“I didn’t feel comfortable entering your quarters without letting you know what is going on,” the boy said. He spoke in a British accent, and his demeanor was far more self-assured than any teenaged boy Lilly had ever met. Right as she made that assessment, however, his confidence faltered a bit. “I believe it would be easier to explain if I weren’t in the corridor, however.”

“Come in, then,” Lilly said. There was a familiarity in the child’s attitude that told her something was going on, and for no demonstrable reason, she trusted that familiarity.

“There was a transporter accident following a shuttle incident on my return from shore leave, yesterday. I am Jean-Luc Picard, all appearances to the contrary, of course,” the boy said. His juvenile tone managed the wry humor quite well, for all that it lacked the adult timbre that would have been there if he’d been his adult self.

“Well, I’m glad you seem physically well, all things considered,” Lilly said immediately, swallowing her shock as best she could. “Do you want to sit down and tell me about it?”

“I’ve had to relieve myself of command,” Picard said, settling into the chair stiffly. “The looks even my close friends gave me when I was issuing orders had me feeling quite affronted.”

“As if they couldn’t see past the package the orders came from?” Lilly asked from her position next to the replicator. “Tea, Earl Grey, hot,” she commanded the computer.

“Oh, thank you. Comforting,” Picard said. Lilly tried not to miss the resonance of his regular voice. He seemed irritated at needing to step back from his position, rather than frantic about the catastrophe of losing his status. That told her he saw this as temporary. “Perhaps it’s in your blood; tea in a crisis.”

Lilly handed him the saucer. His body was that of an early teen, and she didn’t have the instinct to watch him with the hot liquid in case he might hurt himself, not like she probably would have had he appeared younger. If he’d ordered her around, though, she wasn’t sure she would be able to prevent herself from reacting to the image that presented, despite really knowing it was him inside there.

“You’re fortunate that Earl Grey is something available in the 21st century,” she told him. “I expect that my replicator is also restricted to 21st century and beforehand. I asked Data if there was a protocol for certain dishes and drinks in the replicator so that if any of the higher-ups vist a room, the person they’re visiting can always replicate their favorites.”

“I’d never thought of it that way, but I imagine there is one,” the captain said. “The good news is, Doctor Crusher thinks she can reverse this,” he gestured at his body. “She’s working on it, anyway. But Counselor Troi suggested that I think of my options.”

“That sounds like her,” Lilly said.

“I like my job. I  _ love _ my job. I’m not going to give it up without a fight, but I can’t lead like  _ this,” _ Picard said in irritation.

“Do you think Deanna was using reverse psychology? Get you thinking about what you could do in the worst case scenario, so you’re less likely to hate the here and now?”

Picard crossed his leg, then frowned. “This feels very wrong, as if my leg is the wrong shape.”

“Well, it is!”

He made a disgruntled noise. Then, he sighed.

“She was being genuine. I could hear it in her voice. As much as I’d like to think she was trying to encourage me to find reasons to still hope, her suggestions had merit,” the captain said in a weary tone. “Would she have done that if there was any chance of fixing this, that’s the question.” Suddenly, his expression changed, and he looked toward the starfield visible through the windows. “We’ll be coming up on the planet sometime in the next few hours. I do not like feeling disconnected from events like this.”

“Whatever happens, I’m sure Doctor Crusher will work hard to fix it, no matter how much time that takes,” Lilly said, feeling helpless.

“Thank you. I don’t want to distress you, I just felt you ought to be brought up to speed. I’ll go, now.”

Lilly walked with him to her door. “Want an escort? I’ll walk behind you and glare at anyone who stares at you. They can wonder which one of us is  _ really _ the kid.”

“I appreciate the sacrifice,” he said, managing to sound at least a little sardonic. “I’ll manage.”

As Lilly watched him leave, she had a thought. She tidied up his cup, walked over to the windows and stared out of them for a long time, mulling over her options. Then, she spun on her heel and marched over to the computer, quickly bringing up the message system and firing off a short, explosive message to Data. He was already at his own console, it seemed, because she got her response less than ten minutes later.

**Message to: LPicard**

**Message from: Data**

**Message body:**

Thanks to some help from Geordi, the appointment is made. I will be on the bridge at the time to help if the Commander becomes upset.

Data

8888888888

Riker’s schedule showed a meeting with one of LaForge’s highest subordinates in Engineering. It had been added at the last minute. Will assumed that it would be a short meeting, given that they were scheduled to arrive at Ligos VII within the hour. He excused himself from Sick Bay after hearing an abbreviated version of what Doctor Crusher was planning to do for the four adults trapped in children’s bodies, and stepped into the captain’s ready room with minutes to spare.

The door chimed, and he called out for the woman to come-- only, it was Lilly who walked in, stopping just shy of the door as it shut behind her.

Will stood. “I don’t know if the captain told you, but he has stepped down for now, until his condition improves,” he said, being careful with his phrasing. Picard had told him that he planned to inform Lilly about what happened in person, but Will couldn’t think of any other reason why she would come to the ready room. He lifted his chin and looked at her sternly. “I have a meeting scheduled at this time, so I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

Her face twisted into a wince. “I’m your meeting,” she said, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. She stepped forward and clasped her hands in front of her. “I apologize, but I made this appointment out of false pretences.”

“I beg your pardon?” Will stared at her.

“I wanted to speak with you about Captain Picard’s condition, I knew you would be searching for the missing Starfleet crew soon, and made a calculated risk that you wouldn’t throw me out.”

Something deep inside him stirred with admiration at her audacity. He ignored it and leaned over, bracing himself with his fingertips spread wide on Picard’s desk. “What insight could you possibly offer into this situation that is so time critical?”

She didn’t flinch, even though he’d used a very harsh tone. Her eyes flashed with determination, and she walked quickly up to stand in front of the desk. Her eyes were beseeching, but her tone was not.

“Give me five minutes.”

“Fine,” he said, straightening to his full height. He was tempted to ask the computer to keep time, but knew that if she did have something compelling to say, a countdown would at best diminish his authority. He nodded to her, still standing. She hesitated, then sat in one of the chairs set up facing Picard’s desk.

Then, with icy politeness, she lined up her gaze about where his eyes would be had he sat down, and opened her mouth to speak. Will felt a rush of affection for her obstinacy in the face of his resistance, because even before he heard what she was about to say, he somehow knew it would be related to doing something kind for Picard.

“The captain said there’s a strong possibility he might be stuck in this younger body. If so, he may choose to pursue a hobby like archaeology in the interim, as he ages. I want to offer myself as, well, an adult guardian figure,” Lilly said, faltering a bit as she reached the meat of what she was suggesting. She rushed on, keeping her gaze fixed on the back of Picard’s desk chair, instead of where Will was standing. “The reason this is time sensitive is that I don’t fully understand 24th century economics, but I have to assume that I would need a cover profession, possibly a menial one. I’ll need to prepare, but of course, because of the agreement that I keep from learning things after my own time period, I don’t have access to that kind of information. The only person who could authorize that right now is you. I know you’d probably listen to the captain if he asked you to expand my access, but I didn’t want to let him know about my plans just yet.”

Because she wasn’t looking at his face, Will had the chance to study her expression while she was speaking with the knowledge that she couldn’t see the effect her words had on him. He was surprised at her request, but above all else he was deeply touched that, for a third time in barely over a month, she was willing to completely throw her entire life into chaos yet again. He saw the way her shoulders trembled, noted that her hands were twisted together in her lap, planted there as if anchoring her somehow. Will had no doubt that she meant what she said, as astonishing as her offer was. She was charming, beautiful, and completely infuriating.

“‘Menial?’” he asked, unsure whether the word had a different meaning in her century.

She still didn’t look at him. “Working with one’s hands. It’s low-income, low respect work,” she answered quietly. “I certainly can’t be a teacher anymore. Whatever I do, it will have to be entry level and unskilled, unless there’s something I can study up on in the meantime.”

“Which you would need my approval for,” he said in a dour voice, wanting to see what she would say.

“Yes,” Lilly said, lifting her head to look him directly in the eyes.

_ “Data to Commander Riker?” _

“Riker here.”

_ “We’ve reached Ligos VII. There’s some sort of electromagnetic interference that is preventing our sensors from working properly. We’ve been scanning for the missing crew members since we entered the system.” _

“Understood. I’ll be right there,” Will said. He tapped off his communicator and looked at Lilly. “I’m not sure that was the full five minutes,” he said, letting the edge of anger fall from his tone.

A slow smile crept onto her face, possibly unwillingly. “I can come back?”

Even her questions carried an air of command about them, he noted. She didn’t say  _ ‘Can _ I?’ Still, her offer had merit, and he wanted to talk to her about it some more.

“Stay here, I’ll come back in and we can discuss options,” Will told her. He opened his mouth to say more, but the blare of a red alert interrupted him.

He rushed out onto the bridge to see Data giving commands to Worf about shields and weapons systems, with two Klingon warbirds filling the viewscreen. When the android saw him, he relinquished command of the ship, and Will set about defending the Enterprise against a surprise attack.

8888888888

The bright red of the lights combined with the alarm sound was frightening enough, but somehow when the room stopped shaking and there was silence, Lilly was even more afraid. Riker hadn’t come back, and she couldn’t hear anything through the closed door to the bridge. She sat in the captain’s desk chair with her knees against her chest and her arms wrapped around them.

Suddenly, the door opened and in walked a short, swarthy man with a bulbous forehead, huge ears, and a uniform unlike anything Lilly had ever seen before. He was clearly alien, with a crinkled nose and a scarf that clung to his bald scalp. He saw her and scowled.

“Get out of there!” he snapped at her, pointing at her with a strange device that was clearly a weapon.

“Wait!” It was Riker’s voice, and the urgency in his voice made her tremble. He didn’t sound like he was in charge, he sounded upset and worried. In a normal situation, this strange little man would have no authority, and the fact that he did meant that something was very wrong.

Lilly stood, and the man’s eyes widened as he looked at her.

“You’re not in a uniform,” he said.

She didn’t want to come anywhere near him, but he gestured to her with the weapon. On the other side of the doorway, Lilly saw a cluster of Starfleet officers with a few of the alien men holding them at gunpoint. At the front of the group, Riker was arguing with one of them. That one didn’t hold a weapon, and he seemed older and more grouchy than the others.

Lilly wanted to get to the group of humans, but the small alien and his weapon stood in her way, despite having told her to get out. He looked her up and down again.

“Not naked, either,” he said.

_ “What?” _ Lilly managed. 

“Stand aside!” a different alien man sneered, using his elbow to viciously shove the one threatening Lilly back out of the room.

The older one walked in, followed by Riker, who made a ‘get behind me’ gesture with his head as he passed her. She stepped behind him and paused when he paused. Every line of his body was in tension, she could tell that just by looking at his back.

“I hope your profit margin’s pretty high for this little adventure, because you’re risking war with the Federation,” Riker said to the alien leader. Now he sounded more like himself, and Lilly allowed herself to feel reassured.

The guard still hovered in the doorway, his weapon pointed at Lilly and at Riker in front of her. His leader argued with Riker about who they were (‘Ferengi Alliance’ was a phrase she mentally jotted down) and why they were there. Riker leaned over and glared at the man when he told them they were using Starfleet crew members as slave labor. As soon as he did so, the leader noticed Lilly standing there.

“It’s one thing to have females on your crew, but this one, alone, in your office, with  _ clothing?” _

Riker stood up swiftly and turned to look at her. Some of her fear must have shown on her face, because, completely unexpectedly, he reached out his arm and pulled her against his side. He was warm and solid; her heart rate picked up, and she was hyper aware of everywhere they were touching. 

“I don’t follow,” Riker said coldly to the man.

“In our culture, females are seen and not heard. A few agitators claim they could be assets in business, pah!” the man spat in disgust. “A naked woman is too distracting for trade matters, and one in clothing would be even worse!”

Riker’s arm tightened around her shoulders.

“Your expression is horrified, yet you had that one waiting in this room for you, did you not?” The man cackled lewdly. “She must have… talents. If she is not yours, perhaps I can explore the differences between--”

“She’s my  _ wife,” _ Riker said in a voice like a whip crack. “We do not keep human women subservient, nor do we require them to be unclothed.” Behind him, Lilly was frozen in place, her heart pounding. 


	7. Tic Tac Toe, the Picard Variation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This contains some canon dialogue from the episode 'Rascals.' No copyright infringement intended.

###  Chapter Seven: Tic Tac Toe, the Picard Variation

“I can see why you would keep her on the ship with you. As a token of goodwill, I’ll let your wife stay here instead of sending her to get dirtied up in the mines,” their captor said in a sly voice. He stood and walked around the desk. “There is the matter of your central computer. We have been unable to gain control of it.” He leaned over to look at Lilly, and Riker pressed on her with his arm, pushing her back behind him. She had to grab at his waist with her left hand to keep her balance, and she felt him flinch.

“You don’t really think I’m going to help you, do you?” Riker said. She could picture the mocking expression that had to be on his face, and it cheered her up a little.

“I think that the mines of Ligos VII can be very hazardous. Now... what is the population of your ship?”

Riker’s tone was stark. “One thousand fourteen.”

_ “Very _ hazardous, Commander.”

With that, the little man walked past them to confer with the one with the weapon. Riker turned to watch him, and when Lilly stepped out of his way, he rested a heavy hand on her shoulder. Ordinarily, she would have been offended; clearly he wanted her to stay put without actually ordering her to, but there was something comforting about that action. His outrageous lie wasn’t a one-off, his hand seemed to be saying. He planned to protect her.

“You two, come with me!” the guard said, raising his weapon.

They were led to a conference room with a narrow table surrounded by many purple chairs. Riker seemed to recognize it, and he settled into a chair after pulling out the one beside it for her.

“Sit. You may talk. But know, I am  _ listening _ for any talk of escape!”

“I’m sorry about the inconvenience,” Lilly said quietly.

Riker’s smile was thin. “You’re safer here with me. The Ferengi aren’t known for their good treatment of women.” He glared disapprovingly at their guard and then turned his chair and his body toward Lilly, propping his head on his hand with his fingers acting as a shield to cover his lips from sight. As soon as he started to mouth something to her, though, the guard stepped forward.

“Hands down!”

Riker sighed and turned his chair back toward the table.

“I know! We can play Tic Tac Toe,” Lilly said brightly, pulling her pocket-sized spiral-bound notebook out of her pants. The small pen that was tucked into it was probably not 24th century technology,  _ probably.  _ It had lasted longer than any pen its size had a right to, but she wasn’t complaining.

As she leafed past the pages of notes she’d made to herself over the course of the last week, their Ferengi guard shuffled over to the opposite side of the table in suspicion.

“What is, ‘Tic Tac Toe?’” he demanded, lifting his weapon.

“Oh, it’s just a child’s game, but I don’t like being bored. You take turns with the same paper and pen. One of you writes a line of words, then the other person responds to it, and so on. The first one of you to laugh loses,” Lilly said in a nonchalant tone. “I’d offer for you to play, too, but the game is only for two players, and I don’t know if you can even read English?”

“Ferengi officers don’t play  _ female games, _ ” the guard said with a sneer.

“Your loss,” Riker said, smiling tightly. “Can I start?” he asked Lilly, holding his hand out for the pen.

“Fine, but I start next time,” she said, pretending to sulk. Riker pushed the page over to her after writing something short, underlining one of the words with a flourish.

_ That was  _ _ brilliant _ _. _

Lilly blushed and didn’t look up at him when he offered her the pen.

_ Thanks. Are we the only ones on the ship? _

She turned the notebook to face Riker, who shook his head. “Nice try,” he said, writing the next line.

_ They kept the children here under guard, including JL. _

Lilly looked at the words and gasped, looking up at Riker. His face was completely transformed by a smile to the point where it almost looked like his eyes were twinkling. He looked so handsome that way that her heart nearly skipped a beat.

“Don’t laugh, now!” he said in a teasing voice. “I know you don’t like losing.”

“You’ll have to teach me how you handle it with such grace, then. After all, you have had lots of practice,” Lilly replied flippantly. She snatched the pen from his fingers.

_ Do they know it was you who locked down the computers? _

“No, this won’t do at all,” he said when she turned the notebook his way. She liked that he didn’t waste his line on answering her questions. 

_ We need to come up with a way to activate a messaging system. Laugh. _

Lilly read the first line, nodded, and then glared at him when she read the single word at the end. He smiled at her in a smug way, and she forced out a laugh.

“You think that’s winning? You’re going to be  _ destroyed _ in the rematch, mister,” she said. The Ferengi guard smirked at her, and she frowned at Riker as he held out the pen. He quirked his eyebrow and set it down on the table, moving his hands away from it as if in surrender. Lilly sent a mental apology to him as she wrote down her line.

_ If we act volatile now, he’ll be grateful when we ‘calm down’ and it’ll give us more leeway to talk. _

To Lilly’s surprise, Riker laughed as soon as he read what she’d written. “I never get tired of watching the way your mind works,” he said in a voice full of admiration. Heat flared up in her face at the compliment. She was confused about whether he was teasing or genuine, but either one in  _ that _ tone was enough to make her heart race. ‘ _ What the heck are you doing!?’ _ she asked herself, shaking her head and jamming the pen’s lid on before offering it to him.

Riker took the pen from her and tugged the lid off with little to no effort.

_ I may need to pretend to unlock their access in order to get through to JL. _

When he placed the lid on the pen, Riker made eye contact with her and pushed so hard that she thought she heard a click. When Lilly took it from him, she couldn’t get the lid off. Riker sat back in his chair and just watched. Lilly wondered if he had ever used a novelty pen like this before. If he hadn’t, what she was about to do would blow his mind.

Rather than try to tug the lid off with her teeth, she simply twisted off the other cap and held up the pen, showing him the highlighter end.

“How did you know that was there?!” Riker asked, clearly holding back a laugh.

“I’m full of surprises,” she said loftily. 

“You certainly are,” he said. His blue eyes were full of approval.

On the other side of the room, the Ferengi guard snorted awake from where he had apparently been dozing against the wall. All humor drained out of her as she realized they could have overpowered him and possibly taken his weapon, if only they hadn’t been so distracted by the nonsense with the pen.

She closed her eyes and sighed, avoiding looking at him as she wrote,

_ Is there anything I can do to help you get access to the computer?  _

_ Don’t laugh, please. _

“Don’t be discouraged by failing once. It’s when there’s a pattern of failure that you need to worry,” he said, crossing his arms and leaning back, cocky and self-assured. As he’d spoken, he’d thrown a quick glance at their guard, and she suddenly understood. He could be telling her not to be upset that they’d missed their chance.

“Better to have more data points?” she asked, meaning they could be prepared with a plan, if he fell asleep again.

Riker nodded, so she offered him the pen without the highlighter lid. Now he either needed to use the yellow highlighter and admit defeat, or risk getting it on his fingers with no chance of washing them off any time soon. As if it took no effort at all, he pulled the pen lid off and tried it on the highlighter side. It stayed.

Triumphantly, he smiled at her and pulled over the notepad, flipping it to another page for the third time since they’d started ‘playing Tic Tac Toe.’

As he wrote, Lilly muttered, “You’re going to  _ sprain _ something, being so sure of yourself.”

“Unnatural,” the Ferengi guard said under his breath, glaring at her. Lilly glared back before looking down at what Riker had written.

_ I won’t be able to check any messages.  _

_ We need you somewhere to do that for me. _

Lilly stared at his message for a full minute, feeling the weight of both of the men in the room staring at her. Then, she thought of something. 

She laughed and said, “Alright, you’ve got me. I might as well go back to our quarters, at this point.”

Riker seemed to understand what she meant, and his resulting smile was wide and rewarding. She hated how much she liked it. It was much easier to dislike Riker and find him off-putting when he was obvious about disliking her right back, but now that he was faking nice, she kept being taken in by his charm. 

_ ‘It’s an act!’ _ she tried to remind herself.  _ ‘He’s just trying to get his ship back, and so are you.’ _

8888888888

Will almost felt like he was back in the Academy in the simulation test his innovative Crew Psychology professor gave all graduating students. It wasn’t graded, and it was never the same, either. Legend had it that each option was only repeated every five years, and there were over twenty-thousand option. The simulation he’d ended up with was a ship take-over situation, just like this one. He’d solved it by using Morse Code to communicate, something his meticulous professor had included in the code as recognizable by only 25% of the Riker’s simulated crew. It had been both sheer luck  _ and _ determination that brought Will out with his fake crew intact and the fake ship undamaged, and he’d learned not to rely on the idea that everyone he’d serve with would know the same things he did.

‘Please list all languages known, including any considered obscure and ancient’ was now a question on his crew onboarding questionnaire.

Of course, if you weren’t in a location where you could easily access the computer on a read-only basis, there wasn’t much point in knowing a thousand different languages. Will, the four adults in children’s bodies, and Lilly could coordinate to overthrow the Ferengi scavengers best if each group could communicate. He assumed that at some point, he’d be ordered to unlock the Ferengi’s central computer access, and he was prepared to stall as long as necessary. The physical stuff would have to be left to the captain and his junior crew. If he was reading Lilly’s hints correctly, she could be the go-between, with the further benefit of requiring another guard to watch over her in his quarters.

Now, to get her there. He wrote,

_ Start looking tired. After ten minutes I will suggest confining you to quarters. _

When he slid the notebook over for her to read, she immediately burst out laughing, despite the fact that she’d just ‘lost’ by laughing at the last time he’d written a line.

“I’m sorry, I think I’m finally unable to focus long enough to play this,” she said, rubbing both hands over her face. “I could barely sleep at all last night, that’s why you woke up to find me on the couch.”

“Rest your head, then. I’ll draw you a picture in your notebook for when you wake up,” Will told her. He called out to the Ferengi guard. “Can I replicate her a pillow?”

“No. No tricks,” the little man said.

“It’s not like you can James Bond a pillow without preparation anyway,” Lilly said, faking a yawn and laying her head down on one folded arm on the table.

Incredibly, as Lilly had predicted, their guard seemed to be used to the idea of the two of them having the notebook and pen. Will was free to write whatever he wanted.

Before he wasted any percentage of the ten sheets left in the tiny notebook, though, Will needed to formulate a plan. He traced his eyes over Lilly’s blonde hair and sucked in a startled breath when she sat up, huffed, and pulled a small black elastic band from her pocket and quickly pulled her hair into it. Then, she set her head back down, seeming to deliberately trail the ponytail over into her face as she did so.

He suspected that in about two minutes, she’d sit up and huff again, pretending to be irritated by the same tickling ends of hair. Lilly was setting the stage for the request to be locked into her quarters.  _ Their _ quarters. Because he’d told them she was his.

Will rubbed his hand over his mouth and then up through his hair. This was the other part that felt like the Academy simulation. His twice-damned professor had included personnel conflict as a key part of the problem to be solved. For his closest friend at the time, the simulation had been of an away mission Ford was leading. Alan Ford had just broken up with his girlfriend of nearly three years, and he’d told Will that, sure as hell, his ex-girlfriend was in his simulation as the science crew member of the away team. Ford hadn’t told Will much more about it, just that he’d nearly failed the thing thanks to his uncertainty about whether it really was Jewell or a simulated version of her.

Ford had gone first of their small group of friends, and after hearing about his experience Will had been confident that a romantic entanglement wasn’t going to complicate  _ his _ simulation.

But it had.

It just wasn’t a romance involving Will.

Instead, it was a relationship between two senior officers of his crew that caused an aura of mistrust and suspicion between the five simulated bridge officers and Will as their captain. It had been hell from an administrative and command perspective, but he’d made do, and come out from the other side with more than just an appreciation for the differences between people, but also for the way bonds could and would cause conflict in an otherwise healthy group of people. Deep down, Will knew that this lesson was part of why he’d never let himself be drawn back into Deanna’s orbit.

That interwoven puzzle that he’d been engaged in for that simulation was what was so familiar today--the feeling of being pulled in many directions at once, some personal, some professional, all perilous. His advice to his simulated crew at the time was to compartmentalize. He’d told his officers to identify the most important things, recognize them, and then set them aside if they weren’t helpful. It had worked in the moment, but now Will hated that advice. He didn’t want to identify what was important to him about Lilly. He wanted to excise those emotions and let them float away into the void of space.

As predicted, Lilly groaned into the circle of her arm and lifted her head up.

“Can’t get comfortable?” Will asked her in a gentle voice.

She whipped her head around to look at him, clearly surprised. Will felt a pang of guilt; had he alienated her so much that she was  _ that _ shocked at a tone of kindness?

_ ‘That’s good,’ _ his conscience intoned.  _ ‘Keep her at a distance.’ _

“Lack of sleep makes me super irritable, sorry,” she said softly. “It would be better in our bed.”

“Keep trying,” Will said. “They’ll never agree to  _ that.” _ He glanced over and feigned disappointment. “Ferengi are notoriously hard-nosed when it comes to negotiation. I can’t imagine there’s anything we could offer them, anyway.”

As he’d hoped, the Ferengi guard stood a little straighter and seemed proud to have overheard something he perceived as positive about his people.

“I’m going to try to get back to sleep, I guess,” Lilly said. “I need you to calm down, though. I can feel you stressing from feet away. Take a walk around the table or something.” With that, she set her head down, and Will felt the now-familiar admiration welling up inside him again. She was  _ good _ at this. 

He stood up, and the guard didn’t even bat an eye. He watched Will until the two were mere feet apart, and only then did the Ferengi guard raise his weapon and say something.

“That’s far enough. Go back the other way.”

Will nodded, holding his hands up in an effort to look non-threatening. As he walked back around, he looked at Lilly, her legs curled up in the chair, head pillowed on her arm. Here she was, flesh and bone, beauty and brilliance. He’d known she had a head for leadership and clever problem solving from the historical record, not that she’d spent time talking herself up in her own journals. To see her mind working in real time, though, that was something else. There was a light, easy touch to her insights, with no heavy-handed fanfare or self-congratulation at all.

He leaned against the bulkhead that framed the windows and let himself look at her a little bit longer. The fact that she was attractive had been a small factor in deciding to use her as a fake relationship in the Academy, but his choice had been more about her intelligence and their shared interests. She loved the outdoors as he did, she’d even been out walking when Q had ripped her out of her own time and brought her to the Enterprise. He’d always thought she was pretty, but lately in his interactions with her he realized she was beautiful. It was her spirit, her ability to go toe to toe with him despite all of his authority, and today, her intelligence that made him recognize that what he thought of as beauty was not just her looks but her inner core as a person.

“I can see why you want her with you,” the Ferengi guard said. Will looked up, startled, and saw a knowing look in the squirrelly man’s eyes. “You’re possessive, like a  _ real _ man.”

At the table, Will saw Lilly’s body tense up in its curled-up position. He was speechless; unwilling to risk exposing his lie, unhappy with the implications of getting complimented on his treatment of a woman by a  _ Ferengi _ of all people.

The door opened, and a different guard shoved a young man through it. It was the captain.

“Dad!!” Picard crowed, running to him and enthusiastically throwing both arms around Will.

“Careful son, you don’t want to wake your mother,” Will said, nodding toward Lilly, who was in the exact same position she had been before the Ferengi had commented to him.

“No, of course,” Picard said. Even in his child’s voice, Will could hear the depth of sardonic understanding. His next words sounded heartfelt, though. “I’m truly grateful that she’s safe.”

Over the next minutes, Will held a rigidly controlled conversation with Jean-Luc Picard, peppering his phrasing with parental admonitions just as the captain channeled his inner bored teenager. The fact that he said he was bored helped Will introduce him to the Picard variation of Tic Tac Toe. The two of them planned out a strategy right underneath the Ferengi guards’ eyes while Lilly pretended to slumber beside Will.

After making his ‘son’ laugh three times in a row, Will wrote one final message:

_ All that’s left is to try to get Lilly locked into my quarters. _

“Oh, leave that to me, Number One,” Picard said. Quickly, he added, “He’s my number one dad!” to assuage the suspicions of the Ferengi.

Lilly’s shoulders started to shake. She was probably desperately holding in laughter, Will thought.

“Oh no, Mum’s having another one of her nightmares!” Picard said, feigning distress. “It would be so much better for her and the baby if she could sleep in her own bed. Haven’t you asked, Dad?”

Will started coughing. Jean-Luc’s innocent outrage was one thing, but his addition to their deception was a step too far.

“Your female is with child?” the childrens’ guard asked in awe.

Will noted that Lilly was now holding onto the edge of the table with one white-knuckled hand, and she sniffled.

“She’s my step-mum. They’re quite happy. I can’t wait to be a brother!” Picard said enthusiastically.

Lilly started coughing and finally lifted her head. Her eyes were red, her face was covered in tears, and if he hadn’t been certain she had just laughed herself into sobs, Will would have sworn she was exactly as her fake son said she was: exhausted, miserable, and pregnant.

“Jean-Luc? Oh!” Lilly said tearfully. She stood up and  _ grabbed _ the captain, hugging him to her chest with a viciousness only an angry woman or a desperate mother could show.

Will covered his mouth with his hand to hide his smile, and both Ferengi guards looked deeply affected. They looked at each other, at Lilly, at Jean-Luc, and then at Will.

“Could she? You could lock her in?” Will asked, grateful for the amusement that gave his voice an emotional catch.

“Stay here!” one guard said. Then he dragged the other one out of the door and it closed behind them.

Lilly let go of the captain immediately.

“That was quite rough,” Picard said, straightening his jacket.

_ “Pregnant!?” _ Lilly asked in a subdued squeak.

“It seems to have done the trick. If this works, we can send messages back and forth to put your plan in place,” Picard said. “Here,” he said, handing the notebook to her. “The details of the plan are in there, thanks to your Tic Tac Toe deception. Very clever, by the way.”

“Thank you,” Lilly said, closing the notebook and sliding it into a pocket.

The door slid back open, and Will slid a supportive arm around Lilly, feeling her tense up against him.

“I will take your son back to his room,” one of the Ferengi guards said.

“ _ I _ will take the two of you to your quarters, where  _ you _ will use your command authority to confine her,” the second guard said, narrowing his eyes at them.

Will released the breath he’d been holding in relief. Lilly wouldn’t have been able to get into his quarters, and her own were nowhere near where command officers lived. Even a Ferengi would have figured that out.

“Stay brave,” Lilly said, cupping the captain’s face. Will took the opportunity to ruffle his hair. 

“I shall not forget this,” Jean-Luc promised. Then, he dutifully followed the guard out the door.

Lilly’s shoulders were shaking again, and Will pulled her against his chest, feeling her resist him the whole time. “Let it out,” he said soberly, and her arms came up to brace herself against him as her whole body shook.

“You should have said something sooner. Females are delicate and even  _ we _ wouldn’t endanger your unborn,” the guard said unhappily. Lilly hiccuped.

Will allowed himself to stroke his hand along her back and up into her hair, pulling the elastic free so her hair could cover her face during the walk, just in case she couldn’t hide her laughter. She must not have figured out what he was doing, though, because when he stepped away from her, she  _ glared _ at him as he tucked the hair holder into his pocket.

“You must lead,” the guard demanded, gesturing with his weapon.

Will reached for Lilly, but she stepped back, wary. Again, he held up his hands in mute surrender, and started walking for the door. To his surprise, the Ferengi guard didn’t train his gun on Lilly or even take up position behind her, but instead walked beside Will, with his weapon pointed squarely at his chest. With every step Will took, the guard looked more disapproving, throwing glances at Lilly to make sure she was following them. In the turbolift, Lilly leaned against the wall by the door, and the Ferengi guard stared at her wide-eyed.

By the time they reached his quarters, Will was worried about what their guard was up to. Sure enough, before either of them could touch the panel to open the door (and Will was grateful at Lilly’s outstretched hand, because it lent credibility to their ongoing lie), the Ferengi guard yelled at them.

“Stop!”

It was so sudden that Lilly actually stumbled against the locked door, and Will instinctively reached out for her. She wasn’t accustomed to faking an easy physical familiarity, and so when she flinched away from him, their distressed guard didn’t miss that.

“She is upset. That is not good for an unborn child, even a  _ human _ one.”

“That’s why she needs to rest,” Will said patiently.

“No!” the guard shouted, lifting his weapon. Again acting on instinct, Will blocked Lilly’s body with his own, stepping between her and the guard. “Make her feel better!” the Ferengi man demanded. “Now!”

Will forced his body language to uncurl and held his left hand up. “Do you have a wife, or children? Because let me tell you, I wish it was that easy!” he said in a joking, put-upon tone.

“It would be easier to soothe her if she weren’t wearing  _ clothes,” _ the Ferengi snapped.

“You  _ can’t _ be serious,” Will couldn’t stop himself from saying. 

“Ferengi females aren’t entitled to clothing. Their job is raising the young!”

Will didn’t even want to imagine what Lilly’s reaction was to this revelation. He spoke as if to a stubborn child. “I can soothe her best by opening the door to our rooms and letting her sleep.”

“You will leave her upset and it will harm your child. I cannot be responsible for that. If you will not remove her clothing properly, you must do something else. Human lobes aren’t sensitive…” the guard looked at Lilly, then at Riker, then shook his head in despair. Then, his eyes lit up. “Kiss her, then!”

Will had the urge to rush this officious little jerk of a Ferengi, take his gun, and then take his motherfucking ship back. The captain was counting on their plan, though, and it was a  _ good _ plan. He let out a long sigh and tried to think of what to say to dissuade the guard from his disastrous order.

There was no way he could kiss Lilly. He’d have to transfer off of the ship, and not just because she would hate him twice as much as she did already. Will had been half-way in love with her before she ever arrived in his century, and after today, he was even farther along. Her self-sacrificial suggestion before the attack and quick wit afterwards had anchored that seedling of attachment deep in his heart. Touching her, kissing her… that would make it  _ bloom. _

“This is honestly  _ the _ most ridiculous thing that has ever happened to me, and believe me, that’s  _ saying something!” _ Lilly practically growled.

Then, before he could stop her, before he even realized what she was doing, she hauled at his arm to turn him around to face her and launched herself up onto her toes, tugging at his collar. He was caught off guard, but he was still a Starfleet officer, and he knew how not to get manhandled. He steadied her with both hands at her elbows and stared at her in confusion.

“Shit, I have no idea what I’m doing,” he heard her whisper. She tugged at his collar again. “Lie back and think of England, Commander!” she hissed at him.

Understanding dawned, and Will suddenly felt lightheaded. “You--”

_ She wanted him to kiss her. _ Granted, it was to avoid derailing their plan, but Will leaned over, sliding one arm around her to help steady them, his other hand coming up to brush her cascade of blonde hair away from her face. He wondered if she could feel how fast his heart was beating through that hand as he cupped her cheek. She still had her fingers hooked into his collar.

Will paused at the very last second, asking permission with a quick lift of his eyebrows. Lilly’s eyes narrowed in obvious frustration, and she opened her mouth to say something he definitely didn’t want to hear, so he closed the distance and kissed her.

As soon as their lips met, Lilly clutched at him and gasped. The resulting movement made the kiss more intimate, and Will was overcome with a jolt of desire for her. He knew he should pull back, but he was carried away by her warmth and sweetness. Impulsively, he angled his head and stroked at the inside of her lip very lightly with his tongue, knowing this was his only chance and unwilling to squander it in the moment.

Lilly made a tiny noise and the hand in his collar slid up into his hair. That was all the encouragement Will needed to press her against the closed door of his quarters. He buried both of his hands in her hair and risked another swipe of his tongue, tentatively and deliciously answered by hers. Her other hand was at his waist, and when she slipped it under his uniform jacket and slid upwards in a gesture that felt both accepting and loving, Will let out a noise of his own.

She froze, and he drew one hand down from where it was tangled in her hair so that when he pulled away, he could hold her head still and look into her eyes. Will  _ needed _ to see her expression. Her hand slid out of his hair and down to his chest; she’d already snatched her other hand away. Her eyes stayed closed.

“Lilly,” Will said in a quiet, pleading voice. This was ostensibly for show, and if she looked upset he had no idea what their anxiety-ridden Ferengi guard would demand next.

At first she shook her head as if to throw off his hand, but he just slid the second one down to frame her face with both. That was when Lilly placed one hand on each of his wrists, gentle but firm. He let go, and she opened her eyes.

Lilly’s eyes were troubled, the pupils blown, all color practically gone. She looked at him with an expression he interpreted as fear, and a spike of worry shot through him. Then, as if a ripple of acceptance washed over her somehow, she schooled her expression to a peaceful one and, shockingly, lifted herself up on her tiptoes, reaching for his head with both of her hands.

This time Will allowed himself to be led, and she pressed a brief, tender kiss to his lips before dropping back down.

That kiss shook him as much as the previous one had.

“Thank you, I think I can sleep now,” she said in a soft voice, looking over his shoulder at the guard.

“Go on.” The Ferengi’s voice sounded unhappy, but Will had no intention of questioning his directions this time.

He opened the door via the panel and Lilly walked in.

“I know you’ll go straight to sleep, but if you need anything, the computer will be offline,” he told her. Then, for the benefit of the guard, he added, “I’m sorry I can’t stay with you.”

“I’m sure the pillows still smell like you,” Lilly said in a rich, amused tone. 

Will’s hand spasmed at the controls, and the door shut before he could say anything else. The way her voice sounded had been seductive, and his body was thoroughly on board with that. He adjusted his uniform as best he could and took a few steps toward the Ferengi guard.

“You’re coming to the bridge, now,” the guard said, seeming to forget the part where Will was meant to lock her in. The guard’s demeanor was closed-off and almost angry, and it wasn’t until they were a few feet from the turbolift that he said anything else. “Perhaps--” he started, then faltered.

“Yes?” Will encouraged him as they stepped aboard. He was hoping to keep the man distracted enough that he continued to forget that Riker’s ‘wife’ was unsecured in ‘their’ quarters.

“Perhaps it is not a bad thing, having one’s female with you on your ship. There are certain…” the guard stopped when the doors opened.

Will smiled broadly. “Yes, yes there are.” He took a long breath in and let it out before following the guard onto the bridge. 


	8. As Inevitable as the Niagara River's Fall

###  Chapter Eight: Inevitable as the Niagara River’s Fall

As an elementary school teacher, Lilly was accustomed to compartmentalization. She couldn’t be preoccupied about rent payments or a tough phone call from a friend and still teach a room full of boisterous first graders effectively, after all. So when Riker essentially slammed the door to his quarters, Lilly gave herself thirty seconds to cover her face in her hands and scream soundlessly at her body’s reaction to him before getting their plan into motion.

Her first job was to wait for computer access. Ordinarily she would be nosy and look around at least a little when in someone else’s room, but Lilly felt overwhelmed by Riker already. She could still feel the ghost of his hands in her hair, and if she closed her eyes too long, she could relive the shock of how good his lips felt on hers.

“No. Nope! Nope nope nope,” Lilly said out loud. She stood up from the computer desk. Clearly, sitting and waiting would let her mind wander. She looked around at Riker’s quarters. There was a glass table in one corner, a few wall decorations and knick knacks throughout the room, and, most surprisingly of all, a trombone resting on a display stand.

Thinking of the severe-faced Riker playing an instrument seemed absurd, but of course, he was hardly ever severe-faced, not with everyone else. He was a charming flatterer, too.  _ That _ Riker could definitely play music. What kind of music would a trombone player like?

She thought about the musical she’d enjoyed so much. That had trombone in it, didn’t it?

“Computer, do you have leisure functions available? Can you play Hadestown for me?” she asked, half expecting to hear a fail chime or no reply at all.

_ “Playing Hadestown, Road to Hell,” _ the computer said. 

After a few bars, Lilly laughed out loud. “Definitely a trombone. That’s crazy!” She didn’t want to think about a trombone-playing Riker right now, though. “Computer, skip ahead to the song, ‘All I’ve Ever Known?’”

Without the computer’s voice responding, the music changed. Lilly felt herself finally starting to relax. She sat back down at the computer desk and listened to the love song duet, tapping at a few places on the console that would reveal the list of programs she could access.

Right as the song ended, the list suddenly doubled, then tripled, extending off of the screen. The plan was falling into place.

Twenty minutes later, Lilly had texted (or whatever they called it in the 24th century) back and forth with the youthful version of the captain, cementing the movements that would draw their Ferengi guards into positions of vulnerability. It turned out that, with Ro, Keiko, and Guinan involved, Lilly wouldn’t need to leave Riker’s quarters at all, but there was a question about whether Alexander would be quick enough not to be caught. Keiko asked whether she would be willing to sneak out and hide near where Alexander’s assignment was, just in case she was needed, as long as she didn’t let Alexander know she was there. No one wanted to imply to the young Klingon that he was not brave or fast enough to help.

Lilly had been shocked and delighted to know that Worf had a son on board. She couldn’t wait to talk to him about Alexander-- he was right around the same age of the children she used to teach, back home.

Picard was able to send a diagram of the route she’d follow to hide near where Alexander would be. He’d told her how to transfer it to the PADD in Riker’s room. When she picked it up, the display woke to sheet music she could actually understand, and she felt an odd sense of camaraderie with him from across the centuries that separated their musical endeavors. Lilly had taken piano lessons for years before her family had needed to stop because of the cost.

She had three minutes before she was supposed to leave, and Lilly took that time to check herself in the mirror. When she did, she groaned.

Her shirt was a bright, eye-catching blue.

With such little time left, she didn’t think she had time to replicate a darker one. She hadn’t quite learned the correct words that told the computer how to create something in her size. Lilly walked out of the bathroom, meaning to head for the replicator anyway, but as she walked through Riker’s bedroom to the living room space, she saw his closet. It was full of black shirts, among other colors.

Ordinarily she would have rejected the idea, but while she didn’t know him very well, she  _ did _ know he cared a great deal about the ship and its crew. That meant he wouldn’t begrudge her this choice, she decided. Lilly rushed over to the closet and slid hanger after hanger aside. Riker was a tall, broad shouldered man and his shirts would be comically large on her. She stripped off the blue shirt she was wearing and finally came across a black tank top. She grabbed it off of the hanger and slid it over her head. The armholes came down past her bra, but since it was black and she knew how to tie slip knots, she decided it would do.

Lilly grabbed the PADD and snuck out of her room, sneaking into the turbolift and setting the tablet on the floor as she tied a knot in the excess material of each arm hole. She probably looked ridiculous, but she wouldn’t stand out anywhere near as much, she hoped. Grabbing the PADD, Lilly followed the path it showed and hid. It turned out she didn’t have to do anything. Alexander was fast, clever, and brave all on his own. She was glad she’d come out, though. Worf would get to listen to her tale of his son’s adventure, when the ship was back in Starfleet hands.

8888888888

Will walked into his quarters completely and utterly  _ exhausted, _ emotionally as well as physically. He’d stayed up until every one of the one thousand and thirteen crewmembers made it back onto the ship, until the responsibility he felt in being the one thousand fourteenth had drained away into satisfaction. Doctor Crusher hadn’t even needed to tell him that she expected him to sleep and debrief the senior crew the next day.

He was so tired that he had managed to forget Lilly had been in his quarters until he went to change out of his uniform and found her blue shirt in a heap on the floor. Further investigation led to finding an empty hanger in the closet. Will picked up her shirt and sat down on his bed, staring at it.

She must have needed to leave the room and decided her top was too conspicuous, he decided. Will set the shirt on the bed and went looking for his PADD. There would be footage of her if she had left his quarters, and he intended to watch it. If the captain had asked her to do anything dangerous, he’d find himself in a meeting with Will  _ first thing in the morning. _

His PADD was missing. If she’d needed to use it, that made sense in retrospect. She wouldn’t have been able to get back in to give it back. Will brought up the images on the computer at his desk, instead.

Will’s shirt hung down on Lilly almost like a dress, but the fabric was stretchy and it clung to her curves. He scrubbed a tired hand across his face. Either he went to bed now and lay awake worrying about what she’d encountered before the Ferengi were trapped in the transporter room, or he watched everything and grew more obsessed with watching her wearing his shirt, after he’d called her  _ his _ and got to kiss her. He paused the video and looked around the room, curious to see if she’d touched or moved anything he could detect.

“Computer, did Miss Picard play any music while in this room?” he asked, feeling foolish but asking anyway.

_ “Affirmative. Lilly Picard played two songs from the musical Hadestown.” _

Will glanced over at his trombone and grinned. “Play the same songs, please.”

The brassy tone of the first song rang out. Somehow, it was soothing, as if he could trace her thought patterns. He was certain that she’d seen his trombone and asked the computer to play that song to confirm a trombone really did start the musical. Will watched the rest of the footage and saw to his relief that at no point was Lilly in danger. She seemed to have left in order to watch out for Worf’s son, something that, in retrospect, was exactly in her character to do.

A huge yawn prompted Will to turn off the computer and head to bed. When he pulled the light blanket up onto his chest, with it came the shirt Lilly had left behind. A gentle love song had started playing--Will had forgotten that he’d told the computer to play music, that was how out of it he was.

The young female lead’s voice gave way to a young man’s, and he listened to the lyrics, expecting to fall asleep before the song ended.

_ I don’t know how or why, but who am I that I should get to hold you? _

_ I knew you before we met _

_ \--and I don’t even know you yet! _

“Computer, end music,” Will said in a choked voice. He lay in complete silence, adrenaline pumping through his veins. As a musician, he’d always appreciated the way music could reach across the lines of class, planet of origin, and time itself to touch the hearts of listeners. That song, though… that song sounded like it had been written just for him, so much so that Will wondered about its origins. Hadn’t Lilly said it was from the year 2006?

Had Lilly shared her experience with the composer? And if so, what did that mean about how she felt about him by the time she returned?

Was this yet another sign that he shouldn’t,  _ couldn’t _ avoid her?

Just fourteen hours earlier, Will had woken determined that he would continue to keep Lilly at a distance. He would watch out for her safety, maintain a cold, distant demeanor that hid his feelings for her, and above all else, he wouldn’t allow those feelings to consume him.

That was almost the complete opposite of the way his day had gone. In reality, everything that had happened cemented her importance to him. He’d gotten her to smile at him. He’d watched her puzzle her way through a problem, think on her feet, and outwit their enemies. He’d protected her, held her,  _ tasted _ her. It felt like the Fates --another set of characters in the musical-- had chosen a path for him that led straight to Lilly.

He was  _ so _ fucked.

8888888888

By three weeks after the attempted Ferengi takeover, Lilly had settled into a new routine that she truly enjoyed. She, Worf, and his son Alexander had met for dinner and a walk in the Holodeck a couple of Thursday evenings. 

Because Worf had been raised on Earth by human parents, he wanted Alexander to know more about his human heritage. Lilly had offered to show Alexander some of the physical wonders of Earth, and Worf decided to do the same, but from Q'onoS, the Klingon home planet. So on their first outing, Lilly had fed them hot dogs, hamburgers, french fries, and milkshakes, and shown them the Grand Canyon. When it was Worf’s turn, he told Lilly that Klingon cuisine was definitely one of those things that humans called ‘an acquired taste,’ but that there were a few dishes that he considered similar enough to be a bridge between what she was used to and the real thing. He told her he hoped to share Rokeg Blood Pie with her, the next time he could get some authentic enough to qualify. Alexander had whispered to her that it was his father’s very favorite.

Worf and Alexander weren’t her only social interactions, though. Lilly had gotten her hair cut at the ship’s salon, taken there by Deanna, and she’d had a long talk with Beverly about healthcare in her time. She and the captain were deep in discussions about King Lear, and she enjoyed the random conversations she had with Data and Geordi when she encountered them in the halls or in Ten Forward. Lilly felt like she probably spent too much time in Ten Forward for one certain officer’s tastes, but that was why she made sure to do so during Alpha Shift, when that certain officer was busy on the bridge.

At first, Lilly had chosen to hide in her room, sending messages to the various friends she knew would worry about her like Deanna, Beverly, and Worf. The captain had stopped by and told her that his first officer had shared with him what she’d offered to do when Picard was trapped in his younger body. He was so deeply touched and grateful about it that Lilly had ended up keeping her frustration with Riker for breaking her confidence. She’d specifically told him not to tell Picard what she’d offered to do unless it became a possibility! 

Lilly freely admitted to herself that she was magnifying her anger in an attempt to forget other, more  _ physical _ memories of Riker. 

It was mostly working.

What didn’t help was that she had basically no experience being romantic or physical with anyone beyond the kinds of truth or dare ‘kiss Felix for thirty seconds’ moments that really didn’t count for much in a spaceship hallway at gunpoint by a Ferengi. Which had made Riker… essentially her first  _ real _ kiss, and it had been pretty fantastic. Something she was never, ever in a million years going to tell him about.

He would undoubtedly gloat, she was sure. Probably right after chastising her for having been in the situation in the first place.

“You’re doing it again,” Lilly said to herself out loud. She set down her empty tea cup and looked over at the replica of Monet’s lily pad that she’d hung over her computer desk. It was soothing, with its calm greens that reminded Lilly of Earth and home. 

A chime went off on her PADD, and Lilly saw that she had a scheduled chunk of time in the Holodeck in five minutes. She planned on scouting out a perfect place to show Alexander Niagara Falls. Data had told her that the Holodeck had special safety precautions for dangerous locations like Niagara. The instant that anyone in the Holodeck touched the water, the program would cycle down the power of its flow, so that by the time a minute had passed, the water would be still and calm. The falls themselves would lower into a flat landscape that would be safely unhazardous, though unrecognizable as the Niagara river anymore.

Even with that knowledge, Lilly wanted to scout ahead so that they could feel free to delight in the beauty of the location. She knew that Niagara might possibly not exist anymore in the 24th century, and that it would certainly look very different from what she remembered. That didn’t matter, though. She was going to show Alexander  _ her _ Niagara.

Lilly decided to leave the PADD behind, and she went to set it on the small table that stood near the door to her quarters. The table was already occupied by a folded black tank top, though. Lilly frowned at it. She’d wanted to give it back, but she hadn’t been brave enough to bring it anywhere to hand to someone who could give it back to Riker, and she felt like it would be disrespectful to simply leave it, folded, in front of his door. So, she’d left it next to hers, and frowned at it when she came and went, just like today.

Lilly set the PADD down on top of it and stuck her tongue out at the shirt before tapping the door console to open it. She made it three steps down the corridor before she turned around, tapped to open the door again, and grabbed the shirt out from under her tablet. She’d drop it off if she could.

It didn’t take long to generate what she wanted to see in the Holodeck. To her surprise, the computer asked her if she would like to lock the door under an ‘emergency only’ code. That meant that no one could come in without her being notified, which made sense, she supposed. Distraction would probably be dangerous, here.

She set Riker’s shirt down by the control panel and stepped out onto the concrete of the viewing platform. Any time she’d ever been to Niagara Falls, this particular section had been full of people. It was eerie for it to be empty. The view here was amazing, and as much as she’d love to see what it looked like without all the tourist infrastructure, Lilly suspected that she wouldn’t actually be safe to get that close without the concrete viewing platform.

After a few commands and adjustments of her physical location along the Niagara River, Lilly decided she had the perfect planned route for her walk with Alexander and Worf. One of the things that was never pictured with the falls themselves was the amazing, roiling surface of the river itself. It was every bit as dangerous as the falls, but the question on Lilly’s mind was whether the riverbank was safe enough at a distance of a few feet. She didn’t want Alexander to have to think about the human infrastructure around the falls and the river, she wanted him to appreciate the beauty and power they displayed.

“Computer, remove fence and concrete path, please?” she called out. Beneath her, the sidewalk changed to scrubby grass, and the fence disappeared. Lilly walked forward cautiously, wanting to know what the actual shore looked like, whether it would be solid enough to walk up to, or if the boundary was unstable and unsafe.

With one foot stretched out in front of her tapping at the ground for each step, Lilly approached the river’s edge. The water a foot away was rushing past, flying up in curling waves when it hit underwater obstacles. She was quite close, now, her toes tapping an inch in front of her planted foot. Lilly was in the process of stepping very close to the water’s edge when she heard a man’s voice shout.

“Stop! What are you doing?!”

Lilly’s leading foot slid down, surprise causing the step to be larger than was safe or intended. Instinctively, fear of what might happen if she landed in the river made Lilly turn her body toward the bank as she fell, and the combination of movements wrenched her ankle even as it was submerged in the water she was trying to avoid. Her torso never reached the ground; she ended up nearly performing a push-up along the shallow angle of the riverbank. She looked up to see Riker running toward her, his face angry, mouth open, hands outstretched.

Resentment and anger welled up in her. This was the exact reason the Holodeck had allowed her to lock the doors, and yet here he was, probably angry at the injury she just experienced even though he was the reason it had happened in the first place.

“Don’t. Stay back!” she said.

Behind her, the rush of water had slowed, and Lilly started to pull herself up, unsurprised to find that she was now missing a shoe. Adrenaline was kind, and she was able to stand with her injured foot pressed up against her other foot, sock-covered toes touched to the ground for balance. It didn’t hurt… much.

Riker still looked wild-eyed. “What do you think you are doing? Who authorized--”

“The Holodeck has failsafes, one of which has already kicked in. The river’s on its way to a flat calm!” she interrupted. “You seem to have completely disregarded the other failsafe! What the hell makes you think you should burst in on someone who  _ locked down _ the room?”

“Lockdowns are rare, and Sick Bay gets notified. Doctor Crusher asked me about it when she saw your name, asked me to check it out,” Riker said defensively.

“And you couldn’t use the comm?” Lilly asked, raising her eyebrows. When he opened his mouth to say something else, she waved him off. “Oh, never mind.” She gestured to herself. “See, I’m fine, it’s just a little mud and leaves, nothing to worry about. You can go back to your regularly scheduled Commander-ing.”

She was surprised to see that Riker took a few more steps forward and looked her over, seeming to genuinely check to see if she was all right. His gaze focused on her shoeless foot.

“You’re telling me to leave, but can you put weight on that?” he asked shrewdly.

“Of course,” Lilly said, lifting her chin.

“Show me.” 

“You really are a demanding asshole, aren’t you?” she said.

“You’re deflecting,” he said confidently. Then, with what had to be false concern in his voice, he said in a more gentle voice, “What were you planning to do if you can’t get to Sick Bay by yourself?”

“Easy. I’ll call Worf to help me. I know his schedule, he’s not on duty right now.”

The look of betrayal on Riker’s face was inexplicable, but his words were even more so.

“To hell with Worf!” he said, starting toward her. Lilly stood frozen in surprise until Riker leaned over and hooked her knees with one hand, the other supporting her back. “Put your arms around my neck,” he commanded.

“I can’t believe you said that!” Lilly said, her eyes wide. Inside, she was a jumble of emotions. It didn’t seem to take him any effort at all to lift her up, and he wasn't daunted by the fact that she clearly did not want his help. Her heart had unhelpfully started to race when he’d touched her, because it was only then that she understood a possible explanation for what he’d said about Worf. He was  _ jealous. _

Somewhere deep down, a part of her delighted in that conclusion. It was the same part of her that sometimes relived the kiss they’d shared. She shoved that thought down.

“Computer, create replica of Counselor Deanna Troi, authorization Riker Omega Two,” Riker said. Immediately, a stone-faced representation of Deanna appeared a few feet in front of them. “Deanna, put her arms around my neck for me?”

“You are  _ certifiably crazy,” _ Lilly said in astonishment. “Besides, Deanna is too short. Didn’t think of that, did you?”

It was childish, but Lilly kept her hands clasped together under her chin, even as Riker stood holding her like a bridegroom prepared to carry his new wife over the threshold. 

Riker actually smiled at her, one of his charming ones that sent her heart skipping. “Watch,” he said.

Computer Deanna walked forward, assessed Riker’s height, gestured at the ground out of sight, and then started walking up the platform of stairs that must have appeared beside him.

“That’s cheating!” Lilly said, staring. Soon, gentle but inexorable hands reached for her, and Lilly found that she didn’t feel right struggling against Deanna, which had to be precisely the reason Riker had chosen her. “I could just move my hands back again, you know,” Lilly said, hearing the petulance in her voice and hating it.

“Please don’t,” Computer Deanna said. She turned around to walk back down the stairs and then disappeared.

“You are pure evil, do you know that?” Lilly said, leaning over to say it into Riker’s ear. He turned his head swiftly to look at her, and her heart stopped. His face was less than an inch away. She felt his breathing quicken against her and watched his eyes dilate as he looked into hers. “That was--” she started to say, meaning to say something cutting, but as soon as she spoke, his eyes moved to her lips, and all of her words deserted her. “...brilliant,” she said instead. That startled a smile out of him, and she was grateful for the change of his expression, because it broke whatever spell he’d cast on her. “Damn you,” she added.

“There you are,” he murmured. He looked away from her toward the door of the Holodeck and started walking toward it.

Lilly blushed. This was new, and she wanted to say she didn’t like it. With her arms around him (unwilling or not) and his arms holding her up, she could feel him surrounding her to an almost overwhelming degree. Then he had to go use his brain to outwit her. ‘ _ If he were any other man, you’d be in danger of falling for him,’ _ a voice in her head said.  _ ‘If I were any other woman, that wouldn’t be a problem,’ _ she said inside her head to that voice.

“Is that my shirt?” Riker asked, pausing to look down.

She didn’t look at him. “Yes. I thought I would drop it off at your door or something. I’d been meaning to for a while.”

“Computer: send an Ensign to pick up this shirt and deliver it to my room, authorization Riker Omega One,” he said.

“As simple as that?”

He turned his head, and it was almost as if she could feel his eyes on her. “I’m surprised you didn’t think to do the same, rather than hand it to me personally. You seemed to be avoiding me.”

She would rather live the rest of her unnaturally extended life right here than look up at him, Lilly decided. “I don’t have the authority to send them into your room, which is what I assume your code was. There must be levels of it--you used level two to conjure up Deanna.”

“You’re right,” he said. He hadn’t started walking again.

“Can you please put me down? I’m on flat ground now, I’m sure I can manage,” Lilly said plaintively.

That got him moving again. “It’s not the first time I’ve carried you to Sick Bay,” Riker said, deftly avoiding knocking her feet against the doorway. “Of course, last time you were unconscious, so it was at least quiet.”

The humor in his tone was thick, and Lilly finally looked at his face with a glare as strong as she could muster.

“Your crew is going to wonder how you keep getting into these situations,” she said, settling her head down on his shoulder. Her injured ankle was brushing against her other leg, and it was starting to really hurt. The adrenaline was wearing off in favor of outrage, which had no pain relieving properties.

“Just lucky, I guess,” Riker said cheerfully.

  
  



	9. Arbiter of Peace

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Time for a departure from canon episodes for an adventure of our own!

###  Chapter Nine: Arbiter of Peace

“Commander, is there something wrong with your neck?” Captain Picard asked Will.

He took his hand off of his neck and straightened his uniform. “Persistent tickle. Nothing to worry about, I’m sure,” Will said, smiling. In truth, he was slightly worried about it, but not for any reason he felt comfortable with relating to Picard. 

He could still feel Lilly’s breath on his neck from carrying her to Sick Bay hours before. It was outrageous and worrisome.

“Sir, the Wrinekkian ship is approaching the rendezvous point,” Data said.

“On screen,” Picard directed.

The ship was small, which made sense for the level of technology of their society. Will had read the briefing book about their mission back when it had been assigned, and then again the past week, though he did skip through some of the more dense parts that related to their customs and practices. As usual, Starfleet’s detail was a few levels beyond what was probably necessary (and Riker had joked many times that Data was the only officer on the ship with a true appreciation of that level of detail). 

Wrinekk Prime was the seat of most power, but five hundred years prior, a schism had happened between the three leading families. Propaganda had been particularly vile, causing the population to turn against one family in particular, slaughtering them for perceived and real offences. The two remaining families had such a dispute about fault that one took the opportunity to leave Prime and move to the nearby Beta world, establishing what was meant to be a utopian society there. As often happened, the reality of their goals had morphed such that the two Wrinekkian worlds were quite similar, except for their loyalty to the family that ruled them. The membership of that family ebbed and flowed, and Riker assumed that genetics might show that the bloodlines were nowhere near as pure as was claimed, but the point wasn’t genetics, it was continuity of power.

Ten years ago, Beta world had a geological calamity that caused their people to demand assistance from Prime, to less than enthusiastic effect. Beta world was only now starting to recover economically, and one of the results of their humbling had been a genuine bid for peace between the two worlds. Starfleet was asked to be the arbiter of that peace, mostly as a figurehead, and due to the respect Picard commanded as a diplomat and moral leader, he had been assigned as the official Lokkai (or ‘outsider’) Arbiter. The mission had been in the works for a year and a half, with ceremonies and trade missions building between Wrinekk Beta and Prime for the past year.

The Enterprise would meet the Beta ambassador, Arnokk, who had been transported to the neutral meeting ground by a Prime ship. They would spend the next three days traveling to Wrinekk, where Picard and a few others from the Enterprise would stay at Wrinekk Prime until the ceremony was completed. From the briefing book, Will recalled that the leaders’ ages were wildly disparate--Prime’s King was a young man of barely thirty, single (to the clear objections of his people) but charismatic. Beta’s leader, in contrast, was a grandfatherly type, a widowed father of many sons whose first born was already older than Prime’s King, with four children of his own. His title was also translated to be more grand, something akin to ‘Emperor’ rather than ‘King.’ Will remembered rereading that section the night before, including the notes from the Starfleet writer who had compiled the book explaining why these details had been mentioned in the briefing book. 

Everyone involved seemed to be extremely touchy about the other planet’s leadership, and in no way were the Starfleet officers involved allowed to meddle, discuss, or even allude to those issues. The only reason there were ambassadors involved at all was because of the delicacy of the situation.

Will was grateful for that. There were far too many situations where Starfleet was considered infallible, and the reputation of the Federation in general and Starfleet in particular meant that expectations were nearly impossible to meet.

With the small ship approaching on the viewscreen, Will sat up straighter and looked to the captain. Picard had a smile of satisfaction on his face, and when Worf announced that they were being hailed, he stood to greet the ambassador. Will waited until the first words were exchanged before he stood as well.

Suddenly, the ship was subjected to a bright flash of light that seemed to travel from the front of the bridge to the back.

“Captain, we are being scanned,” Data said. “The frequency is particularly invasive, but not harmful. Seems to be biomedical in nature.”

“Ambassador, would you care to enlighten me as to why you have performed an invasive, unauthorized scan of my ship?” Picard demanded, his tone just edging on outraged.

“My sincere apologies, Captain,” the large-eyed Wrinekki ambassador said, bowing so that his dark braids fell past his shoulders. “We were not aware that such a negligible gathering of information would be considered offensive. Thank you for informing us--we will place that prominently in our materials regarding Starfleet, and request permission in future.”

“That is wise. I need to confer with my crew about this, however. Forgive me,” Picard said. The ambassador bowed again, and, at a gesture from the captain, Worf cut off the feed.

Data turned around from his duty station. “Sir, the scan may have collected a great deal of biological information. I have analyzed the speed of the sweep along with the signal itself, and I have concluded that it is possible they have collected the DNA sequences of every person on the ship, among other information.”

“Why would they feel the need to do that?” Will said, stunned.

“The Wrinekki society seems to be very focused on the collection of information. They self-describe as historians, and nearly every species which encounters them relate an anecdote about their insistence on gathering knowledge of all kinds,” Data said.

“The ambassador’s attitude seemed very blasè about the whole thing,” Picard noted. “The problem seemed to be our objection, not their actions.” He turned to Will. “Thoughts?”

“Whether or not this is standard behavior, it reads as hostile, and the briefing book makes clear that this peace between their two worlds is a precursor to becoming more active in trade. It might be a good idea to frame our objections that way, as if we were most concerned about their reputation, rather than our privacy,” Will said.

“Agreed,” Picard said. “Worf?”

The viewscreen changed to a view of the Wrinekki ambassador. He was looking up at an aide, but soon nodded to the other person and focused his attention on Picard. His demeanor had changed from serious decorum to that of barely suppressed joy.

“Captain!” Arnokk said expansively. “You do us a great honor.”

Will glanced quickly over at Picard, who seemed puzzled.

Gamely, the captain smiled, taking a step toward the viewscreen. “Thank you, Ambassador Arnokk. I’m pleased to be able to serve as Arbitrator for your people. Are you prepared to beam aboard for the journey to Wrinekk Prime? We’ve prepared quarters for you according to your requests.”

“Such an Arbiter as you will bring peace for generations with your gift. And to keep the gift a secret until now! We are grateful beyond measure, even on Beta planet,” Arnokk said. 

To Will, it looked as if the ambassador had tears in his eyes. In alarm, Will exchanged glances with Data, who looked back toward the captain. Picard was faced away from Will, but he knew the captain well enough to know that he was at least mildly alarmed just by his body language.

There was an uncomfortable moment of silence before the ambassador spoke again.

“My aides and myself will be ready for transport whenever you are ready to receive me, Arbiter Picard.”

“I am eager to speak with you in person,” Picard said. With this, the viewscreen went blank for a second before switching to an image of the Wrinekki ship. “I will be in Transporter Room three. Number One?”

“Sir,” Will said, following him.

In the turbolift, Will simply raised his eyebrows.

“This ‘gift’ language is worrisome. I can’t begin to imagine--” Picard broke off, a look of dawning comprehension on his face. It wasn’t a pleasant expression.

_ “Data to Captain Picard?” _

“Picard here.”

_ “I’ve conducted a quick diagnostic of the scan we experienced. It was definitely relaying complex information back to their ship. A further examination of the briefing book led me to conclude--” _

“I have concluded the same,” Picard interrupted. “I’ll need you to step away from your duty station and spend time looking for a loophole. Picard out.”

_ “Acknowledged.” _

“Sir?” Will prompted. The turbolift door opened and they both walked out toward the transporter room.

“I’ll explain more shortly. I don’t want to give Ambassador Arnokk any reason to question my behavior,” the captain said. Will nodded, but his mind was working in overdrive trying to make the same connection that Data and Picard had already made.

Picard nodded at the officer on duty in the transporter room, and soon, three figures and a pile of luggage appeared. Ambassador Arnokk was wearing tight iridescent trousers and an ornate vest that hung to his knees over an expensive-looking shirt. The set piece of his attire seemed to be the ornate styling of his hair, which was formed into many braids that wove around each other in a skullcap formation before hanging down in braided fringe at his back, with a thick pair of braids that rested on his shoulders. Interwoven with the braids were ribbons and at least two jewels. 

The captain greeted Arnokk and his aides politely, gesturing to Will before offering to walk the ambassador to his quarters. Will walked behind the captain and ambassador, splitting off to show the aides where they would be staying, before leading them to Arnokk’s quarters. The deference with which Arnokk treated Picard made Will uncomfortable. It seemed to be related to the ‘gift’ situation, and Picard had seemed unhappy with the whole concept to the point of asking Data to look for a loophole.

It turned out that Wrinekkian days were not particularly offset from current Starfleet timekeeping, but Arnokk and his aides were fatigued and requested to meet in the morning. As sometimes happened, as soon as Picard had bid goodbye to their guests and their door closed behind him, Jean-Luc’s face completely changed. He dropped the polite veneer of a diplomat and lines of concern etched across his forehead and beside his lips. Will knew he’d be in the loop soon, but for now he chose to follow the captain into the turbolift and out, all the way to Data’s quarters, as it turned out.

“Captain, Commander,” Data greeted them, rising from his desk chair. “You should know, sir, that instead of expediting their return to Wrinekk Prime, the ship Ambassador Arnokk met us with has matched our speed and heading.”

Will almost laughed. “What possible purpose could that serve?”

“A diplomatic one. It seems that despite his enthusiasm, Arnokk has an inkling that there might be a problem with his assumptions,” Picard said in a gravelly, regretful tone.

“All right, I confess, I haven’t been able to keep up,” Will said.

Picard walked over to the desk Data had been sitting at when they arrived, sitting and looking at the screen. Data started to explain.

“The clause in question is mentioned here in its entirety, with references in three other places,” Data said, pointing. Then he turned to Will. “Wrinekki diplomacy is intertwined with the genetic reality of having a limited number of ruling families. Ceremonial situations over their historical record have allowed them to inject unrelated but well-respected genes.”

“Simply put, it seems that after every major conflict and subsequent peace arbitration, the chosen Arbiter has become family through a ‘gift’ of a relative to marry into one of the families,” Picard said, not looking up from the computer display. “In such a way, they honor the Arbitrators, and they also keep from experiencing genetic flaws from too small of a gene pool.”

Will suddenly understood what Data and Picard were saying.

The ‘gift’ was Lilly.

He stretched out a hand to support himself against the wall. “You’re saying they expect you to ‘give’ them your relative? How can they even tell the two of you are related?”

Data shook his head quickly, regretfully. “That is an unfortunate anomaly. The predictability of genetic decay in breeding with so small a gene pool means that the Wrinekki people are particularly specialized in genetics. A separation of ten to twenty generations is hardly that far apart in their eyes.”

“Have you managed to find a loophole, Data?” Picard asked impatiently.

“Possibly.” Data looked at Will, then back at the captain. “Implementing it might be… situation dependent, however.”

“What does  _ that _ mean?” Will asked. He had the distinct feeling that Data was holding back on something because of his presence.

“It means that Data has more investigation to do,” Picard said, standing. “We’ll have a meeting in the morning. It is possible that I can simply explain that I am helping out a family member in need, and the situation is an unfortunate accident.”

“I would not seek to discourage you by stating the statistical impossibility of that occurrence,” Data said.

8888888888

Will woke early the next morning, and he performed his morning routine by rote, only really ‘waking up’ when he stepped out of the turbolift on deck seven instead of the deck the morning meeting with Ambassador Arnokk was on. Because there was another crew member in the corridor, Will decided to walk to the opposite end of the hallway and take the other turbolift, rather than simply turning around and signalling that he’d chosen the wrong floor.

That meant that he walked past Lilly’s quarters, and despite knowing that it was a bad idea, Will reached out and trailed his fingers across her door as he walked past. He didn’t stop the pace of his walking, and he didn’t allow his facial expression to change, but he touched her door, and the feeling of the metal sliding across his fingertips stayed with him as he walked into the conference room and sat down. Deanna, Data, Picard, and himself were the officers in attendance, with Doctor Crusher coming in shortly after Will. He assumed she joined them because of the scan, or possibly as an end-run around the Wrinekki’s expectations. If Doctor Crusher could prove that Lilly’s relation to Picard was quite distant, maybe she wouldn’t qualify.

A minute after Will sat, the ambassador walked in, and everyone stood out of deference. The man’s attire was slightly dialed back, but his hair was every bit as flamboyant as it was the night before.

“Arbiter Picard, officers, there is something I should inform you about before we proceed,” Arnokk said as soon as they were all seated.

“Please,” Picard gestured for him to continue.

“Thank you. I do not know whether your preparation materials include the fact that my people are empathic, but I wanted to make it clear that this is the case. I see that the Betazoid people are associated with the Federation. Wrinekki culture relies on this aspect of our collective ability, just as theirs does to a certain extent.” Arnokk paused, then added, “It aids in our primary drive, which is seeking knowledge. Part of that knowledge is a deep understanding of the combination of body language, spoken words, and internal emotional drive. In your language, the translation for our term for this is… not well framed. Perhaps ‘holographic empath’ might be an approximation. This is referring to the fact that we have the ability, always and only with permission, to share a mental connection that can include images and sounds.”

“That is truly fascinating,” Picard said. He’d sat forward to listen to Arnokk. “I do not have anywhere near that gift, but with what meager skills I have, however, I must say that I sense you are issuing a kind of warning?”

Will’s eyebrows shot up in shock. Picard hardly ever used such forward tactics when negotiating anything.

Arnokk laughed. “You are correct! We should have anticipated your negative reception of our scan, but your subsequent reaction to us made me question the evidence collected in front of our eyes.”

“Perhaps you could tell me about your evidence and conclusions, and I can explain our perspective?” Picard asked, spreading out his hands in a gesture that was a mixture of accommodation and confusion.

“There exists on this ship a woman who is directly related to you. The degree of relation is… perplexing, defying our knowledge of DNA, but the fact of her existence cannot be disputed,” Arnokk said.

Will felt the gentle brush of Deanna’s mind against his, and he strengthened his mental wall against it while at the same time sending a brush of apology in response.

“That is correct,” Picard said, offering no elaboration. 

Arnokk leaned forward, the braids of his elaborate hairdo swaying with the movement. “Arbiter Picard, how can this be anything other than a generous gift according to our most sacred rituals? We had been told multiple times by Starfleet leadership that such a gift is contrary to your own culture, that no offence was meant, and that the choice of you, Picard, was done because of the strength of your skills as a diplomat and respect for other peoples.”

“Starfleet is right, humans have moved away from the view of their fellow humans as commodities,” Picard said quietly. “And I am known as a diplomat, highly regarded, for whatever value that reputation may serve here. As such, I must tell you, my family member is not for sale, borrow, or barter.”

“Your concern is understood, but unwarranted. The ‘gift’ is the connection to you, the connection between the royal family and the Arbiter. The phrase is not meant to only portray the person who symbolizes that connection. I apologize for the failure of language in conveying this,” Arnokk said, bowing low in his chair, almost to the point of touching his face to the surface of the table.

“I am truly sorry to have to deny that connection, ambassador,” Picard said. His tone was deeply regretful, and Will could hear the sincerity in his voice. “I suspected this conclusion last evening, and I took the opportunity to delay my sleep to read more about this practice from what Starfleet had on file. I must say that the way your people choose to honor those who arbitrate peace is humbling to witness.”

“Yet, despite your and Starfleet’s assurances that you had no  _ ability _ to participate in our custom, you have arrived here with an age appropriate relative!” Arnokk said in obvious, albeit mostly repressed, anger. “Can you not see how hurtful that is? It is as if you sought to discover this woman only to deny her to us. We never  _ asked _ that a Starfleet arbiter with a marriageable relative be provided! We were content to go without.”

Picard’s face broke into a rueful smile. “Ambassador Arnokk, I must admit that eighteen months ago when I was chosen for this mission, I had no idea I even  _ had _ a niece. However, it is not in my own culture’s habit to deny a relative’s need if it can be granted.” He opened his mouth to continue, but the Wrinekki ambassador broke in.

“That may be so, Captain, but the fact remains that when we arrive, the King of Wrinekk Prime will expect to be presented with her as a gift. If your Starfleet wanted to avoid this situation, they ought to have been more careful picking their representative!”

“I understand,” Picard said, his tone decisive. “To be fair to Starfleet, they were. They didn’t know about her existence any more than I did.” He held both hands up, elbows planted on the table in a gesture of that was half shrug, half surrender as if to say he admitted his mistake. Then, he dropped one hand over the other, clasped in front of him. “What are our options?” He looked directly at the ambassador, then around the table.

“As the ambassador noted, the Wrinekki people place a particular emphasis on truth-telling,” Data said. “As such, I do not believe a human marriage contract will suffice to protect her.”

“Without a pre-existing relationship, our people would see that as a deception meant to deliberately keep her from their leader,” Ambassador Arnokk replied gravely.

“They would be correct,” the captain said wryly. “What  _ does _ suffice as a pre-existing relationship?”

Arnokk touched his left wrist where a simple bracelet rested, half-hidden by his clothing. A ghost of a smile crossed his features, and Will could tell that he was thinking of his own relationship. It was a humanizing gesture, and he wondered if the ambassador had done it to put them at ease, or if it was unconscious.

“Her partner couldn’t simply wish to protect her from us, no matter how valid such a motivation would be,” Arnokk said, not unsympathetically. “He or she would need to have a strong sense of ownership. For a relationship to be recognized in our culture, that aspect is necessary.”

_ “Ownership?” _ Doctor Crusher objected.

“Jealousy and possessiveness are both signs of a strong attachment in humans. Moderation is important, of course, but they’re both words that hold the same connotations as ownership,” Deanna said, her voice a touch louder than normal in her attempt to soothe.

The ambassador spoke then, clearly seeking to clarify his word usage, but Will stopped listening, preoccupied with a growing sense of inevitability. If they needed possessiveness, he had it in spades. He thought back to the incident in the holodeck, the way he’d felt when Lilly told him she would call for Worf to help her to Sick Bay. ‘Jealous’ was a pale word in comparison to his true feelings at that moment, and he was sure he had nothing to worry about when it came to Worf. 

Impulsively, he spoke without waiting for a break in the ongoing conversation.

“Ambassador, does the emotional component your people require need to be two-sided?” The crew’s startled faces turned toward him, and Will squared his shoulders. “I apologize for interrupting,” he said, but kept his gaze on the ambassador, waiting for his response.

“The presumption is that the gifted person can come to accept their new position, but not if doing so would leave behind a damaged partner,” Ambassador Arnokk said. 

A movement at the table caught Will’s eye. It was Deanna, reaching out a hand to Doctor Crusher, who looked upset.

“In that case, sir, I believe I can help,” Will said, addressing his comment to the captain. He braced himself for his crewmates’ reaction, particularly Picard’s. Lilly’s inevitable outrage did not bear thinking about. He could feel the heat rising in his face and swallowed hard, schooling his features into a look of resolve.

“Help?” the captain repeated, looking at Will in confusion. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I have an… attachment that might qualify.”

“To Lilly?” Picard asked in astonishment.

“Yes, sir.”

He could feel the others looking at him. He wondered how many of them were as shocked as Picard was. Deanna wasn’t, he was sure.

“When were you planning on enlightening me about this?” Picard asked in a testy voice, his head cocked to the side.

Will allowed himself to smile. “I planned to wait until she stopped hating the sight of me, at the very least.”

Deanna and Beverly made amused noises at this.

“That’s right, you did ask if it needed to be two-sided,” Picard said under his breath.

“Forgive me, Commander, but I find it doubtful that you could manage the requisite level of attachment under those circumstances,” Ambassador Arnokk said.

“Try me,” Will said flatly.

Arnokk looked like he was trying to decide whether or not to be offended, but then his eyes narrowed, and he nodded in a swift, curt motion. “If you would, then, stand over at the far end of the room, close your eyes and think of her,” he said.

“What are you going to do?” Picard asked Arnokk as Will walked over and stood where the ambassador had directed. He closed his eyes. 

“Do not be concerned, Arbiter. This is like guided dreaming. No harm can be done,” Arnokk promised.

Will pictured Lilly staring at him in disbelief in the holodeck as he picked her up. Then he pictured her as he’d observed her one evening talking with Guinan in Ten Forward, her eyes lighting up in delight at something the older woman said to her.

Suddenly, he felt as if there was another presence in his mind. In the memory, Will turned around to look for the threat, and the door to Ten Forward opened.

“Steady,” the ambassador said in a clipped tone. His voice was closer now, as if he were physically approaching Will.

Through the door walked a young man in Wrinekki-style clothing. He had a regal bearing, and he surveyed the room as if he owned it, his gaze immediately drawn to Lilly. Will could feel his fingers curling up into fists as the man strode over to her and took hold of her upper arm, turning her to face him. Her expression was that of shock, and inside his mind, Will started toward the man, a feeling of outrage rising inside him.

Despite knowing the scene he was observing wasn’t real, despite knowing there wasn’t a genuine threat, Will couldn’t prevent the way he felt when he saw the stranger manhandle Lilly. He marched over to the Wrinekki leader and placed a heavy hand on the man’s wrist.

“You have no right to touch her,” Will said. He couldn’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction in the fact that for all his commanding presence, the man was shorter than he was. “Remove your hand, sir,” Will said through clenched teeth.

“If you insist,” the man said smoothly, pulling his hand away in a caressing gesture. Since Will’s hand was still in contact, he tightened his grip to make his point perfectly clear. The man smiled broadly as he yanked his hand free of Will’s. He didn’t touch it or show any outward sign of pain.

“I don’t need you to fight my battles for me,  _ Commander,” _ Lilly snapped at him. “I’m perfectly capable of standing up for myself.”

Will lifted his eyebrows at the Wrinekki leader, who bowed to Lilly and turned his back on Will to walk toward the exit. Only when he had walked through the doorway and out of sight down the hall did Will turn toward Lilly to see the fury in her blue eyes.

“Well?” Lilly said, clearly expecting a response.

“You’re welcome,” he said, smiling thinly at her. She rolled her eyes at him, and the scene faded away.

Will opened his eyes and met Ambassador Arnokk’s gaze. He was standing at about the same distance as Will had been standing from the doors to Ten Forward in his memory. 

“I apologize if my grip was too strong,” Will said. As if to confirm his hunch, Arnokk smiled politely and touched the fingers of his other hand to his wrist, nodding. Then, he turned to look at Picard.

“His claim will be recognized.” Arnokk walked over to stand behind his vacated chair, and everyone at the table stood. “I will pass along the message that our newly gathered information was not complete. There will need to be a small ceremony to recognize his prior claim as part of your arrival ceremony, to save face, but other than that, events shall proceed as expected, Arbiter Picard. Thank you for addressing my concern with determination and respect. You are a worthy representative of your Federation.” As the ambassador started to walk toward the door, he turned and looked at Picard. “Your Commander Riker was telling the truth. The  _ whole _ truth.” He smiled with real humor and shook his head, looking at Will. “Even in your own mind, she resists you! She is lovely. I wish you luck.”

The respect in the man’s eyes was genuine, and Will smiled in response to it. “Thank you. I’ll need it.”

When the door closed behind ambassador Arnokk, Will stepped forward, intent on leaving the room as well, until he heard the voice of the captain.

“Going somewhere, Commander?”

Will stopped, but did not turn around right away.

“We’ll be gentle,” Beverly said.

Will turned around to see three innocent expressions and Data’s regular blank expression looking back at him.

“Barring any difficult conversations, Number One, it looked to me like Ambassador Arnokk was able to reach into your mind, manipulating your memory such that you were able to walk around and interact with him inside it! That necessitates a debrief,” the captain said.

Will threw his leg over his chair and sat down. “That  _ was _ extraordinary,” he said begrudgingly, flashing them all a smile. “It was like a holofilm of my memory with characters of his creation inside it, presumably from his memory. In fact--”

Will turned toward the screen embedded in the wall of the conference room.

“Computer, display image of the King of Wrinekk Prime?”

The young man in the image that displayed was recognizable as the man he’d seen touching Lilly. When Will turned back around to look at the captain, he saw fascination on everyone’s faces, even Data’s.

“You’re saying that when Ambassador Arnokk told you to picture Lilly, at some point in your memory of her, he physically appeared to you as that man? Without his having to touch you beforehand, to establish such a connection?”

When put like that, the event seemed more sinister, but Will nodded. “As you saw, he confirmed it was his wrist I had touched, even though he appeared to me as the King of Wrinekk prime.”

“Can I do some scans? Your yearly physical was only two weeks ago, so the comparison could be useful,” Doctor Crusher said with barely controlled enthusiasm.

“Of course,” Will promised.

“So… grabbed his wrist?” Picard prompted. Will looked down at the table, smiling wryly.

“Simple jealousy check for them, I imagine.” He looked up and caught Deanna’s direct look. “He grabbed her first. As if he had the right to.” Deanna’s gaze shifted to Picard, so Will looked that way too. Picard looked concerned, but also amused, which for some reason made the whole situation feel all the more real to Will. 

“I presume you changed his mind for him?” the captain asked, sitting back and tugging on his uniform shirt.

“Yes, sir, I did. I imagine my facial expression was more persuasive than anything else. Nothing that would constitute a diplomatic incident, I assure you.” Will ran a hand through his hair, pausing just for a second before he decided to go through with the thing he really wanted to say. “Is there anything else? I think I need to spend some time in my quarters figuring out what the hell I’m going to say to follow through with this.”

“You can take the day, Number one. It’s not the first time, though, is it? You had to lie to the Ferengi,” Picard pointed out.

“You did?” Beverly said, surprised.

“Thanks for that, sir,” Will said, standing again. He escaped from the conference room, but it was only once he was in the corridor that he realized that now he would end up facing each of his fellow crew members privately, about what had happened in the meeting. Instead of, what had Lilly called it when they’d been in that same room with their Ferengi guard? ‘Ripping off the band-aid,’ and getting it all over with quickly, he’d just guaranteed himself much more time explaining himself.

Will waited to facepalm until he was safely in his own quarters. When he went to change out of his uniform, he found her shirt hanging in his closet.

8888888888

Usually, Lilly kept away from Ten Forward when there were non-human guests, but she had heard from Beverly that the Wrinekki ambassador and his staff had been up late the evening before. Beverly had told her the aides would likely skip the meeting entirely, and the ambassador himself might go back to his quarters afterwards. The doctor had seemed out of sorts and cagey, making Lilly wonder what sort of issues they’d discovered that would need to be addressed at the meeting.

Thinking that she was unlikely to run into anyone new that morning, Lilly headed down for Guinan’s special coffee and a chat with the bartender.

As she’d expected, the lounge was mostly empty. Guinan liked to keep odd hours, sometimes waiting until mid-afternoon to show up, other days coming in bright and early and then coming back after dinner. The space didn’t  _ need _ a bartender, but after being on the Enterprise for over two months, Lilly felt that she could safely say everyone had a better time when Guinan was ‘on duty.’

“Good morning,” Guinan said when Lilly hopped up onto a stool. “Still avoiding that one, I see.”

Lilly felt a blush rise in her cheeks. “You were standing on this side of the bar!”

“And if I moved?”

“I would stay put, because I’m already sitting.”

“Mmhmm.” Guinan tossed the cloth she’d been using to brush across the bar up onto her shoulder. “If you keep looking away, you’re going to find that issue standing much closer to you than you expected.”

“Much to his disgust, I’m sure,” Lilly said, rolling her eyes. She didn’t want to meet Guinan’s eyes, so she looked away and caught the entrance of a stranger to Ten Forward. He was male, around the captain’s age, and his style of clothing and hair would have told Lilly he was from an alien culture before she saw his face. The proportions of his eyes looked ‘off;’ more along the lines of animated films than what anyone would expect in an actual living person. The effect was easy to get used to after a while, but Lilly felt like she was grateful to have noticed the man and got her shocked reaction out of the way. She didn’t like that she still had shocked or disgusted reactions to certain alien species.

“Wrinekki ambassador,” Guinan said.

“Well, crap, I came early because I thought he’d be in his quarters. I try to keep the peace by not meeting anyone I shouldn’t,” Lilly said, tipping her head over to look at Guinan insolently.

“You’re starting to be a one joke comedian, you know,” Guinan told her. Then she left the bar area to greet the man. Lilly took that opportunity to hop down and make a wide sweep around the main floor of Ten Forward, hoping to avoid the man and leave before she gave the stranger any kind of impression that might lead him to mention meeting her. That had happened only once, an emissary who had been delighted to overhear that she was the captain’s niece and tried to make nice with her, and Riker had been sure to glower at her when she’d reported as much to Picard.

“Excuse me?”

Lilly had almost made it to the door. She turned slowly and found herself faced with the ambassador. His eyes lit up when he saw her face. Lilly glanced over to the bar where Guinan was pulling a drink from the replicator. She looked over and made a wincing facial apology.

“Hello,” Lilly said politely. “I was just leaving, I apologize.”

“I saw you were at the bar when I came in, and can’t help but notice that your drink is only half finished. I’d love some company?”

Disconcerted, Lilly made a face of surprise, her eyes wide in a way she hoped wouldn’t come across as a parody of his own. “I’m so sorry, but I’m feeling a bit out of sorts. I’m sure Guinan is a better conversationalist than I am anyway.” She flashed an apologetic smile and started to turn back toward the door.

“My people are empathic, you know,” the ambassador said in a quiet voice.

Lilly looked over at him, and he raised one elegantly curled eyebrow.

“I’m sure you didn’t mean that to sound like a threat, now, did you?”

“Certainly not,” the ambassador said, gesturing to the bar. “I’ve just come from a meeting with your captain, first officer, and an officer that I couldn’t sense any emotions from at all. From his appearance, I would guess that he was--”

“--an android? Yes,” Lilly said. The bar stool that was beside the ambassador’s just happened to be the one that she was accused of never sitting on. That fact helped Lilly make a decision about the way she wanted to respond to this strange man’s forced conversation. “Do you know, sir, that if our situations were reversed, if I were the empathic ambassador, and I wanted to get a bead on the kind of people I would be dealing with, I might seek out a person I knew associated with those people. I might bring them up in conversation, hoping to get a sense of what emotions that other person associated with their names.” As she spoke, the man got a look of pleased surprise on his face, and he started speaking as soon as she paused for breath.

“I assure you--” 

“So to save time, I can tell you that Captain Picard is an intelligent man, a brilliant negotiator, and a person who will always do the right thing, no matter what. His first officer has a commanding presence that can read as arrogance to many people, including me, but he’s also one of the most reliable and moral people I’ve ever met, with a quick head for problem solving. As for Data, the android-- don’t waste your time trying to treat him as coldly analytical, because you’ll get blindsided by his moral compass and deep understanding of what it means to be human. I’m sorry that I didn’t have the patience to allow you to draw that all out of me slowly, but I’m sure you appreciate that this took less time.”

With that, Lilly turned her back on the man and started to walk away, scrunching up her face in worry that she’d offended him in her brusqueness. She heard his voice say a string of words in a foreign language.

“I don’t have to speak your language to get the gist of  _ that,” _ Guinan said with a chuckle.

“Mostly positive, I assure you. How extraordinary! I cannot wait until we arrive on Prime,” the man said. If he spoke again, Lilly didn’t hear it, as the doors to Ten Forward closed behind her.


	10. Chosen

###  Chapter Ten: Chosen

It was after dinner before Will had come up with a reasonable plan of how to approach Lilly. He felt that he’d need all the authority he could get, so he changed back into his uniform before taking the turbolift to deck seven. 

He had been going over the long version of his ‘sales pitch’ so often in the past hour that he had it memorized. He would explain that the attachment he had to the captain meant that he felt a stronger than usual attachment to her. That keeping her safe had become one of his own personal prime directives as a result, before he’d really understood the strength of it. That they could use that strength to protect her again, with a white lie on top of it, one they’d already told once.

Will was going to offer her a choice, she’d take the one he knew she would, and he would spend the next half hour keeping her from being outraged. This would work, he told himself. It would work  _ without _ needing to tell her the whole truth about how he felt, because he  _ could not do that.  _

Telling her would violate  _ Starfleet’s _ Prime Directive, Will had decided.

He went to her quarters without warning her ahead of time, but told himself that if she wasn’t there, he would come back. Will pressed the button to announce his presence, and when Lilly opened the door, he politely asked if he could come in so they could talk. She hesitated, but nodded. Then, he asked her the question he’d been practicing the answer to since he’d come up with the idea of asking in the first place.

“The captain has informed me there’s a problem we have to confront. Which version do you want, more or less information?”

8888888888

Lilly looked at Riker and saw a man who was on a mission of some sort. He had the same determination on his face as when he’d called up the force field outside of Ten Forward. She knew how full of conviction he could be, thanks to the conversations she’d had with her other Starfleet friends over the past weeks. The picture of William Riker she had seen painted for her was contrary to her first, second, and third impressions. So now, as he stood in front of her asking if she wanted to spend more or less time being persuaded to follow his orders again, Lilly did the only thing she felt she should do, given the way her opinion of him had started to change. 

“I’ll take less information, please.”

Riker stared at her, seemingly speechless.

“You  _ have _ to be kidding!” he said.

Lilly shook her head. “Fewer details means less filler. You’ll touch on the most important parts, and more importantly, it’ll probably be shorter.”

The traces of humor faded from his expression, and his eyebrows shot up. “You’re certain?”

“Yes.”

With that, Riker strode forward, crossing the space between them and hooking a hand around her waist. His other hand lifted her chin and then he was kissing her with no hesitation at all.

The flame of shock lit her blood. She felt it in her face, trailing down her neck, deep into her chest and farther down until she understood that it wasn’t shock, it was something else. His hand slid down to her hips and pulled her even closer, trapping her hands against his chest. One was over his heart, and Lilly could feel it pounding under her fingers even as Riker angled his head.

Each brush of his lips were as confrontational as he was. He made no concession for the typical emotional distance between them, kissing her like a lover would, his thumb brushing heat across her cheek. He’d raised her up with the strength of the arm around her hips, and she felt like she would fall if she didn’t hold onto him. The combination of his unexpected ardor and her uncertainty left her off balance in more than one way; there was a part of her that wanted to give in to whatever he was doing for the pure joy of how it felt. Lilly slid one arm around him and held on.

Riker lifted his head and looked at her.

She shook her head at him. “What are you--”

Now, in what felt like a mirror of their second kiss in the hallway, Riker smiled, raised both hands to cup her face, and then he dipped his head to kiss her again.

This time she knew enough to try to lean back, but she hadn’t let go of his shirt, and he didn’t let go of her head. This kiss was not as brief and definitely not as chaste as its counterpart. He chased her tongue with his, and she felt a flare of anger at him for acting like whatever he was doing was a battle for dominance. Lilly pushed up toward him on her toes, engaging fully in the war he was waging. Riker groaned and pulled back to gentle the kiss, setting her back down and stepping away.

“I think this will work,” he said.

“If by ‘this’ you mean the fact that I didn’t struggle or start screaming--” Lilly started, but Riker interrupted.

“In a way, yes, actually.” His smile was self-deprecating. “I really thought you’d pick the long version! I wasn’t… give me a second.”

Lilly backed up a bit more and ended up standing behind her desk chair, resting her hands on the back of it. “Maybe you’ve lost your objectivity,” she said.

“You think?” Riker laughed. He shook his head as if stunned.

“I  _ meant _ you should have known I would choose the shorter of the two options,” Lilly pointed out.

“You’ll always know better now, I guess,” he said, leaning back against the wall beside her desk. It was the space where his trombone was in his quarters, not that Lilly wanted to be able to picture that so clearly. “I needed to see if you’d hit me, actually.”

“I  _ should _ have,” Lilly said. “Short version?”

“Right,” Riker said, pulling himself up straight. “We’re heading for a peace mission headed by the captain. The ruling families have a genetic diversity problem that they solve by asking peace arbiters to marry into the family. The Federation asked Starfleet to choose someone without a qualifying family member, and they chose--”

“Picard. Except now he does have an unmarried family member, and somehow they know,” Lilly finished for him.

“Yes,” Riker said. “There was a meeting this morning with the ambassador--”

“A meeting  _ about _ me, which for some crazy reason you didn’t invite me to?” Lilly tightened her grip on the back of her chair.

“I wouldn’t let you anywhere near him without a plan to keep you safe, and neither would the captain,” Riker said, his voice dipping down into a lower register. “During the meeting, it was made clear that their race has empathic powers that aid in lie detection.”

“So you heard that and still went ahead and lied to them about the two of us?” she said, incredulously.

“No, I did not,” Riker said, emphasizing each word very clearly. “The ambassador told me that exemptions to the marriage treaty are focused on the partner, so you won’t be forced to lie about anything. As for me, I was honest about my intentions to keep you safe. Any further assumptions made about that are not my responsibility.”

Lilly stared at him.

“There’s something you’re not telling me, I think,” she said. Riker lifted his chin and looked steadily back at her. She let go of the chair and started walking into the living room area, then turned around and walked half-way back. “Couldn’t we just have said Data and I were a couple? He has no emotions to detect!” Lilly spread her arms out at her sides, palms up.

“That will not be necessary.”

“Because you’ve already stepped in? Why couldn’t I have just told the ambassador that I’m infertile? I am, in this century, thanks to my own personal omnipotent, ‘put my body into a weird stasis’ time machine,” Lilly pointed out. She turned her back on Riker as he opened his mouth to respond, knowing he’d just parrot back the response he’d just made. She was right.

“That will not be--”

“Oh,  _ stuff it!” _ Lilly interrupted. She had reached the high back of the chair opposite her couch when something occurred to her. “I’m not permanently infertile, though, and I know that. I guess saying that would probably read as a lie,” she said, defeated.

“It would, yes.” Riker’s voice was closer than it had been before. 

Lilly turned around and saw that he’d followed her, staying back a few feet. “Because  _ you _ know that I’ll have children. You know what their names were. You know what they looked like, what they  _ were _ like.” She felt light-headed and managed to fall into the chair. “You know when they’ll die, and  _ how _ they’ll die,” she whispered.

“I’m sorry,” he said. 

She looked up to try to keep her tears from falling and saw his hand come to rest on the chair, above her head. It was comforting in a way that confused her insides. For all that they were almost always in conflict, Riker had held her and protected her. She had a connection to him, but she wouldn’t bear his children. For Lilly, there was something truly noble about that, in the way he kept putting himself on the line for her. He didn’t have anything to gain. The two of them were in conflict most of the time, yes, but part of that was in service of protecting her future children’s legacy.

“I’ll let you be. We’ll talk about the plan later, all right?” he asked.

The tears she’d been trying to hold back fell when she closed her eyes at the gentleness of his tone. Lilly nodded, then realized he probably couldn’t see her.

“Thank you,” she said. Her emotions made the words shaky, and she swore at herself inside her head. When she heard the door to her quarters open, she stood up quickly and called out, clutching the chair for balance. “Commander?” He turned. “Thank you for keeping me safe,” Lilly offered.

He nodded, then smiled. It wasn’t quite the broad, sunrise smile she loved so much, but it was impactful all the same. Lilly had to look down so he didn’t see the blush rise in her cheeks again.

After Riker walked through and the door closed behind him, Lilly collapsed into her chair for the second time in five minutes.

“Well,  _ shit.” _

8888888888

Will walked as quickly as he could back to his quarters, bumping into Geordi and practically spinning the other man out of the way from the force of his forward momentum. He apologized, but did not stop.

Only once he had shut and locked his own door behind him did Will let out the swear words he had been holding in.

“Shit.  _ Shit.  _ What am I doing?” he said, relishing in the expletive’s ability to release internal tension. He stalked into the bathroom and started running some water, meaning to throw it in his own face. That always helped, somehow.

What he really needed to do was throw cold water on his heart, he knew. He needed a personal nuclear option, but he had no idea what that would even be. 

A formal request to avoid contact with her?

Transferring off the ship?

Trying to contact Q?

Will splashed his face with the coldest water the faucet in his quarters was specced for. He couldn’t call for Q. That would punish Lilly for his own inability to control himself, and might subject her to the kind of violation of free will that he himself suffered at Amanda’s hands. A transfer would be a fresh kind of hell, because he wouldn’t be able to influence her safety as he was currently choosing to do with the Wrinekki people. 

He knew he wouldn’t be able to stay away from her any more than he’d already attempted to do, either.

_ “Fuck.” _ Will wiped his face off with a towel.

_ “Picard to Commander Riker?” _

For one horrifying minute Will wondered if he’d tapped his communicator and broadcast his frustration across the entire ship’s comms.

“Riker here,” he said.

_ “The ambassador has some things to go over with you and my niece. Would you prefer to meet together or separately?” _

“Separately, sir.”

_ “I’ll inform him. Picard out.” _

Will looked up at the ceiling and sighed. He never expected to get away with not telling Lilly everything he’d revealed to the ambassador. Now that he’d somehow managed to, and found that she’d agreed to his solution, he hoped to keep his feelings under wraps.

He tapped his communicator.

“Riker to Picard?”

_ “Picard here.” _

“Sir, if it’s possible, I’d like to meet with the ambassador first.”

There was a pause before Picard’s response, and when it came, the captain’s voice was amused.

_ “Understood. Picard out.” _

8888888888

Lilly dressed in yet another command red shirt for her meeting with the Wrinekki ambassador. She felt an affinity for the color anyway, but she also thought that it visually aligned her with the leadership of the Enterprise. If she was right and the stranger she’d met in Ten Forward proved to be the ambassador, then she wanted to be a step or two ahead of him when she met him again. Instead of pants, she went with a black skirt with what would be called a ‘handkerchief’ hemline back in her own century. Laid out on the bed, it was just a zigzag, but worn, the cutouts came high enough to show off her legs in a very attractive way.

Ordinarily, she never would have sought to look good on purpose, not in a situation like this. However, Lilly was cognizant of the fact that her beauty was not what made her valuable in the 24th century, not to someone with all the facts about who she was and where she came from. She wanted to look like her connections to Picard and her pretty face were all that were important about her. 

Lilly had spent the night thinking about possible explanations for the distance in her and Picard’s genetic relationship to each other. The best she could come up with was a cryogenically preserved embryo from one of the most famous couples in history. If the Wrinekki probe that Beverly had told her about hadn’t been the only one, if it had managed to steal data from the ship that included historical information about Earth too, there was a chance that the Wrinekki would discover that she wasn’t just a distant ancestor to their Arbiter, she was a relatively important and out of place ancestor.

She’d come up with that potential problem in the middle of the night and, unable to sleep, she’d sent a message to Data about it. He’d been able to reassure her that this possibility had been anticipated, and information about her 21st century self had been locked down with Picard’s specific command code, rather than the slightly more generic command codes given to any captain of the Enterprise. That meant that if a situation like the Ferengi takeover were to happen again, Riker as acting captain or any other officer in that position would not be able to unlock that information.

What she felt was beyond her purview was asking whether they were prepared for any possible spying by the ambassador himself, during his time on the Enterprise. That was something that she was certain at least one of the senior officers had thought of and probably mitigated already. Lilly probably wasn’t the only person with a ‘spidey sense’ that the ambassador was up to something, though. She knew the ship’s leadership were smart, thorough, and capable, but it was difficult for her not to want to offer insights like she’d always done back when she was a relatively junior teacher in a staff of fifty.

Ironically, the jump in status here wasn’t as large as the one she’d done in her ‘real’ life!

After putting on a little bit of 24th century makeup, Lilly asked the computer where the designated meeting room for the Wrinekki ambassadorial party was, and headed there. When she got within sight of the door, she saw that a man in Wrinekki clothing was standing in front of it.

Once she had gotten closer, the man greeted her, bowing. “Greetings, Claimed One.” 

Lilly almost turned around and left. “Thank you, I think,” she murmured. The man turned his wrist and looked at it intently, then stepped away from the door.

The door slid open and Riker stepped out, a genuine smile lighting up his face as he said something she couldn’t quite hear to the ambassador. Lilly wasn’t to the door yet, and Riker didn’t see her right away. When he did, his expression changed, almost as if he’d needed to steel himself for seeing her, somehow. He was holding a large cloth bag in his hand, and he held it up for her to see.

“Can’t wait to see what these look like,” he said, smiling again. This smile was guarded; it was the same way that he had smiled at the Ferengi. She tried not to be hurt by that realization.

“We get outfits?” she said. “Uh oh.”

The door had remained open, and the ambassador came up to stand there. She’d been right, it was the same stranger she’d met and sassed in Ten Forward. He looked like he was expecting her, so she started for the door.

As Lilly approached, Riker watched her until she was close to him. Then, he reached out and squeezed her hand as she walked past him. It caught her off guard so much that she stopped and looked up at him. For just a split second, he looked down at her with such a strange expression on his face that she squeezed his hand back. He closed his eyes, and she pulled away with both her hand and her heart, feeling the rejection keenly, even though she wasn’t sure what it was she was offering, now that the moment had passed.

Ambassador Arnokk looked like he was in full investigative mode when she turned away from Riker and walked into the conference room without looking back. He looked like he had just learned a particularly juicy secret, and Lilly remembered his empathic powers too late to shield her reactions from him.

“I’m sure you’ve noticed how my emotions are just a big mess when it comes to that man,” she said, wincing.

“You saw my fascination, then?” the ambassador asked.

“I was warned about your people’s ability to sense emotions, and then promptly forgot about that fact when I came here,” Lilly said. “I’m not much of a diplomat, it turns out.”

“I think you sell yourself very far short, there, my dear.” He moved aside to let her come into the room, and after she’d chosen a seat next to the head of the table where his collection of devices and papers were, he said, “Commander Riker warned me that you would not take kindly to being treated like a valuable object. My aides are actually those of my counterpart, the Prime ambassador, and they’re rather old fashioned. I imagine they’ve already called you ‘Claimed One?’”

She nodded, frowning.

“Yet you did not seek to complain to me, nor did you look as though you’d objected, as Riker implied you would. That is, in its own way, diplomacy, wouldn’t you say?”

“That’s just politeness. This mission is important to your people,” Lilly said. She was wary of this man and his motives, and the way he was complimenting her for not acting childish wasn’t helping.

“Of course, of course,” he said, leaning back in his chair. “This is, however, just an extension of what you’ve agreed to do. The deception itself is more than politeness, surely! Choosing to participate in our claiming ritual for the sake of  _ our _ traditions, while you have such conflicted feelings about the claimant… well, now. That’s more than not being childish.”

The ambassador’s expression was mild, but his eyes were keen and intelligent, and Lilly sat up straighter in her chair. He couldn’t possibly have picked up on her exact phrasing in her mind, of course, but he had picked words quite close to her own thoughts. She nodded at him, and he smiled magnanimously. 

“I should introduce myself. I am Arnokk Amrael, ambassador for Wrinekk Beta and liaison for this latest peace endeavor between Beta and Prime worlds.”

He looked at her expectantly, and she nodded her understanding. Thanks to the situation, Data had given her some information about the planets involved, and the societies and ruling families that lived there.

“I am Lilly Picard, avid privacy advocate and niece of the captain of this ship, nice to meet you,” she said.

In her head, Lilly heard the voice of the antagonist in one of her favorite novels, Lady Catherine De Bourgh: _ ‘You give your opinion very decidedly for so young a person!’ _

To her surprise, the ambassador laughed out loud. “Please, this is rude of me, but you must tell me what you were thinking just now!” he said. “I cannot pick out exact wording, I assure you, but our skills are both genetic and learned, and before I was given the ambassadorship, I was a professor of Mental Acuities for many years. It is possible to hone one’s attention to gather strong impressions from the more pointed of another person’s thoughts, and that one was quite powerful! Was it a statement of someone you were remembering overhearing?”

Lilly opened her mouth to express her astonishment, and then held back. Was he being genuine in offering such a revelation into his own abilities, or was he hoping for some kind of a quid pro quo? And, what was the significance of him peering into her mind directly after she’d called herself an ‘avid privacy advocate?’

“I suppose you could call it a memory, of a sort. I was remembering dialogue from a fictional character I am fond of,” Lilly explained. “Are you sure you want me to know just how powerful your mental abilities are?” she couldn’t stop herself from asking. “I mean, what I’ve studied about your people states that you read emotions from those you’re in close physical proximity to, but recognizing  _ types _ of thoughts is honestly astonishing!”

“It isn’t ordinary, you’re right,” Arnokk said. “And yes, letting you see this aspect of my abilities is a conscious choice.” He leaned forward, resting his upper body’s weight on his arms as they rested on the table. “Diplomacy is such a dance. We have an ancient traditional dance that fits the description perfectly, with a back and forth motion that is balanced so precariously that a list is kept of the couples who managed it, back before artificial balancing technology was developed. So many things in Wrinekki culture are the same way. The truth is, my dear, that we are both tools of our people.”

He stopped to look at her reaction, and Lilly felt a wave of panic just like she felt right before she was introduced to the royal family. There was an undercurrent of meaning to this conversation, just as there had been then-- a sense that the superficial conversation had more to do with the depths below. She was meeting with Arnokk to prepare for a ceremony that had no small importance to the Wrinekki people, and yet he hadn’t spoken to her about the ceremony at all, yet! Lilly thought to herself that the dance he mentioned was a hint, that he was leading her along a beam, and she needed to balance well enough to figure out what he was really talking about. 

It would have helped, she realized, if someone had told her exactly what Arnokk knew about her. Did he think she’d grown up under Jean-Luc Picard’s wing? Or did he know she’d just recently appeared in his life? Did Arnokk think that she would be able to naturally fit in simply by virtue of her genetics, as some people who worked for the royal family did? She suspected he would be yet another person who seemed to expect a level of expertise or at least  _ understanding _ from her that she might be able to manage with a few weeks or months of training, but of course, that wasn’t available. She’d be winging it, again.

“Familiarity,” Arnokk observed.

“Yes. I recognize this as a time when I will be struggling at the surface of something vast, clinging to competence as a life raft,” Lilly said. 

“I almost wish I could ask you to visualize your ‘fictional character’ again,” Arnokk said with a shy smile. “I am familiar with the voices and tones of the minds of my own people, but humans are different. I suppose I am also clinging to competence.”

Lilly scoffed. “The fact that you could recognize the difference between types of thoughts I was thinking says otherwise. That ability is extraordinary and terrifying, it’s frankly astonishing, and yet I can’t help but think it’s just a side note in what you’re really hoping to talk to me about!”

“You want to study it, even though you are not a scientist.” Arnokk said this as a statement instead of a question.

“I want to study your  _ society _ , how it developed with this ability just packed away in the psyche of every one of its people!”

He held up a hand. “I must disappoint you. These abilities are at the very raw edge of what is possible, and even then, I had to take a dangerous serum to extend them to this point.”

Lilly couldn’t help her surprised exclamation. “...why? Why would you think that’s necessary, and why would you reveal that to me?”

“Because now we both know something powerful about each other,” Arnokk said softly.

Lilly knew he was using his ‘powers’ to lay her mind bare, but she knew the stab of fear she felt at the idea that he could have discovered the secret of her identity was impossible to conceal. 

However, the more she sat there trying to stop herself from reacting, the more she was convinced that Arnokk wasn’t referring to who she was. His demeanor was that of someone sharing like for like, someone revealing a secret that was slightly shameful in context. As someone with abilities to pinpoint the difference between her own thoughts and remembering something she’d heard, Arnokk could probably also sense the difference between something she was afraid to admit versus something she felt she  _ had _ to conceal.

“Are you permitted by your government to use drugs to enhance your abilities, or is this something you’ve done on your own?” she asked, scooting forward in her chair without moving it closer to the table.

“It is up to my discretion. Are you so certain that a union between you and the Commander will be as taboo as you seem to believe?”

With all her might, Lilly tried to conceal her relief inside her complete surprise. She held up both hands beside her face, palm out, surrender and surprise. Seconds later she clenched her fists.

“Yes,” she finally said, resisting the urge to refute that she’d ever considered it at all. “What do you need from my uncle that you can’t ask for outright?” she said, taking a wild guess.

“And you think you would need further study to become a negotiator!” Arnokk laughed. “We want to align ourselves with the Federation, but we have no wish for our best and most powerful minds to be recruited away as manipulators and spies for them. Your uncle likely has regulations about what he is required to report, whereas conversations with you are likely to be reported at his discretion only.”

“What would you have done if I hadn’t been on board?” Lilly asked.

“We would have reached out to your estimable bartender.”

_ “That’s _ why you were in Ten Forward so early!” Lilly blurted out.

Arnokk nodded sagely.

Lilly looked at him, taking in the signs of fatigue and other things that could be simply characteristic for his people’s physiology or examples of the extreme measures that he was using to exploit his brain power. His over-large eyes had a purple tint to them that matched his skin.

“Your blood is purple when it’s oxygenated, isn’t it?” she blurted out. At his nod, she continued. “Your eyes are bloodshot. You’ve hurt yourself-- you’re overextended, you’re using yourself up to gain insight into us! Just  _ ask _ me, okay? Stop hurting yourself, please.”

Now Arnokk leaned farther forward, stretching out his hand, palm up. She placed her right hand into his with no hesitation.

“I see why he’s so determined to protect you.” He didn’t make eye contact with her, and Lilly pressed her advantage.

“What if we could write some sort of a contract that protected Riker from disciplinary action if he spoke about certain things with you under the guise of this ceremony? I feel like you want to negotiate with Starfleet because of who we are as people, after the research you’ve done. This has been in the works for at least two years, right? That’s what I gathered from my uncle, he got this assignment 18 months ago.” Lilly squeezed the ambassador’s hand gently. “If you can’t go to Jean-Luc Picard about this, the next best person is Commander Riker.”

“If I concede something, so must you,” Arnokk said quietly. “I see in your mind a simultaneous building of both a pedestal and a wall. You lift Riker up as high as you build the wall against him. It is as if the wall’s title is ‘Impossible.’ Do me a favor? Think about the reason we’re meeting. Think about our tradition. Think about the king of Wrinekk Prime. Is that equally impossible, in your mind?”

Lilly was self conscious about clasping her hands together in her lap, now. She rested one hand on her shoulder and the other in her lap and thought about what he was asking. It was every bit as impossible, of course. She didn’t focus on why not, still ever so slightly wary of his superpowers.

“That’s a stronger brick wall than the Commander is! How fascinating! Poor Ouwen.”

“That’s the king’s name? Why the sympathy?” she asked impulsively.

“He could use a wife like you. Though, almost anyone in power could,” Arnokk mused, sitting back and rubbing his eyes.

Lilly allowed herself a tiny bit of satisfaction. Her meagre knowledge about her own importance told her that it wasn’t simply by being someone’s  _ wife _ that she would help her own people. She looked down at the hand in her lap and took a long, calming breath.

“I think I could study you for a year and still find mystery.”

Lilly looked up and saw Arnokk standing, bent over to pick up a package out of a container sat beside the door. He held it up, then checked inside the flap of the cloth bag as if to ensure he’d chosen the correct one.

“Please don’t. I’m not that interesting, I promise. I’m just a woman displaced from where she belongs, much to the consternation of the ship’s second in command.”

“I’ve found over my years of teaching new adults that those who are the most interesting will protest that they are not, and vice versa,” the ambassador told her.

“I was serious, though. If you want I can go ask the Commander about what I said. I don’t want you to be hurt, I don’t want your people to be exploited, and I think the Enterprise is full of the right kind of people to prevent that.”

“How will you know if I said yes just to push you toward him?” Arnokk asked, holding out the cloth bag. “Try this on today, please. Any fitting will need to be done delicately, based on the way the designs fall on your anatomy.”

“No nipple decorations strategically located over my actual nipples, or vice versa?” Lilly teased. Arnokk’s easy grin took her by surprise, and she smiled back, amused.

“More the former. We’re what you would call a conservative people. Our insights into what our loved ones and enemies are truly thinking cause us to err on the side of caution more often than not, in social interactions.” He leaned over to say something close to her ear, and Lilly looked at his intricate hairdo with fascination. “Very nice deflection there, Lilly the Claimed.”

“Your redirection is rejected. I am not claimed, via your ceremony or otherwise,” Lilly said in the same kind of furtive whisper.

“We shall see,” Arnokk said.

“Will you promise not to take that drug anymore?” Lilly said louder, facing the door.

“I will think about it.”

“If I told Commander Riker you were taking something that hurt you…”“He would probably show up at my quarters with your ship’s doctor, expressing concern,” Arnokk said, sighing.

“At the very least.” Lilly tried not to sound smug.

“Save me, then, she who would be a princess,” Arnokk said. Lilly whirled around to look at him and watched his surprised and pleased reaction to her guilty reaction.

“Your king’s wife is a princess?” Lilly asked, gamely trying to fix her error.

He inclined his head, but his eyes were fixed on hers, curious and confused.

“There are some things that we can’t tell each other no matter how much trust we build,” Lilly whispered.

“You’re right,” Arnokk said. “Some things we cannot  _ ask _ each other, no matter how much trust we build. I will trust you about that title if you trust me about the drug?” He tapped something on his wrist, and the door opened. 

“It’s a deal,” Lilly said, even though she was unsettled. Arnokk seemed to think he had a considerable vulnerability when it came to the drug he’d used, but was it really comparable to  _ her _ secret?

“When you speak to the Commander, please give him my regrets that I wasn’t able to mention certain things in our meeting,” Arnokk said as he escorted her to the door of the conference room. “He is very busy, and I hadn’t scheduled enough time, I think.”

The officious tone the ambassador used was different from the way he’d spoken throughout their meeting, and Lilly wondered if he didn’t trust his aides. That wasn’t something she could ask in front of them, of course, so she simply nodded and left, heading for the turbolift.

Arnokk had given her a lot to think about, and she definitely couldn’t process all of it herself. As much as she wanted to speak to Data or Beverly about it all, though, the right person was Riker. She wasn’t skilled enough at deception to keep certain things to herself, and even though her plan was to write out as much of the conversation in an encrypted file as she could, the whole conversation was a jumble of feint and counterfeint. There was no easy way to pull out some information and avoid talking about it, not as the simple schoolteacher she still thought of herself as.

It took her an hour to feel satisfied with her written record of the conversation. Every so often as she’d pondered wording, she’d thought about how this was likely good practice for her life once she returned to the 21st century. Would Riker object to  _ that? _

Finally, she’d finished writing it and copied the whole thing to her database on the ship instead of just at her console in her quarters.

With a deep breath, she activated the comm with the console.

“Lilly Picard to Commander Riker?”

A pause, then Riker’s voice responded, sounding surprised.

_ “Riker here?” _

“I wanted to speak with you about something that came up in my meeting today, if that’s all right?”

The pause was longer this time, and when Riker’s voice came again, it was with amusement threaded through it.

_ “My place or yours?” _

Lilly’s face flamed. He sounded like he was  _ flirting _ with her!

“Computer: location of Commander Riker?” she said.

_ “Commander Riker is on holodeck Three.” _

_ That _ explained a lot for Lilly.

“Computer: can you tell me what kind of program is running in Holodeck Three?”

_ “Holodeck Three is running a program replicating a 20th century jazz club in the city of New Orleans.” _

Adrenaline racing, Lilly made a split second decision. She tapped the console comm. “Commander, don’t worry about it, I’ll find you at some point. Picard out.” Shaking her head at herself, she raced into her bedroom to look in her closet. The red dress was still there, and it was 20th century enough, in her mind. Definitely jazz club material.

“Am I really going to do this?” she asked herself. Her hand shook as she pulled the dress off of the hanger.


	11. Command Red

###  Chapter Eleven: Command Red

Will had been at  _ Billie Jeanette’s _ for an hour before he realized that the tweak of the synthehol had been tuned a little too realistic. Then, he’d gotten the confusing message from Lilly about needing to talk to him. If he’d been thinking clearly, he would have asked her to postpone her request until the next day, but he’d pictured the shy shock on her face when he’d taken her hand earlier, and couldn’t bring himself to say anything that might crush it. He’d made the gesture for the Wrinekki aides, something suggested by the ambassador to help sell his claim, but the way she’d looked up at him…

“I’m drunk,” he said to the woman playing piano on stage next to his table.

“Is that so?” she asked in a slow southern drawl. Will had spent enough time in this program to know she wasn’t from ‘N’Awlins’. Her accent wasn’t quite Creole enough, it didn’t have the right twang to it. Her piano playing was exceptional, though. “Sounds like you’re just about ready to play with us, William!” she added, flashing him an insolent grin right before launching into a riff that made his arms ache to picture playing along with.

He wanted to protest that he didn’t play well when he was tipsy but he didn’t actually know that for certain. It was only on the holodeck that he had any kind of a jazz reputation at all, and he’d never managed to combine real alcohol with trombone playing in his real life. Getting drunk in your quarters on genuine liquor wasn’t the sort of thing one did if they wanted to captain a ship someday. The holodeck was different, thankfully, especially after he’d been ordered to take some time to relax by his commanding officer.

“All right,” Will said, standing. He took off his light grey suit jacket and rolled up the sleeves of the white shirt he was wearing. He didn’t have a tie on, but he did undo one more button at his neck.

“It’s here waiting for you,” the deep-voiced man at the bass called out to him, nodding at Will’s instrument.

Will looked around at the club. The sun had set outside in the faux French Quarter, incongruously leading the club owner to dim the internal lights even further. A layer of smoke curled around the room, likely computer-generated rather than a result of too many cigars. Well-dressed men and women sat and chatted at the bar, at the tables, and at the edges of the small dance floor, their outfits from various time periods in an impressive bid for authenticity. Will had visited the real French Quarter once or twice, and the only difference between those places and this was the high tech lighting and modern clothing worn here and there.

“You gonna get your ass up here or what?” the piano player, Lorraine, hissed at him.

“I’m coming,” he said, favoring her with his highest-watt smile. Predictably, her expression melted a little before she frowned.

“Don’t start that shit with me. I’m married,” she complained, grinning at him when he hopped up onto the low stage and lifted the trombone.

“Don’t worry,” he told her, trying out the slide and rolling his shoulders to loosen himself up. “My heart is engaged elsewhere.” It felt good to say that out loud, Will thought.  _ “Shit. _ I’m definitely drunk,” he groaned.

8888888888

Lilly learned two things on her walk to Holodeck Three.

One: high heeled shoes were a fucking menace.

Two: the few people she met in the corridors on the way were friendly and complimentary, their reactions far from confused or rude as she’d expected.

By the time she got to the doors, she’d nearly changed her mind three times, and she’d taken her shoes off to hook them onto the first two fingers of her left hand. She remembered from her own holodeck adventure that the damned thing didn’t announce new visitors, so at least she would be able to see what sort of place Riker went to relax. It seemed to her like a venue like a jazz club in New Orleans was the perfect place to tell the Commander that the alien culture they were about to perform a ceremony for would like to approach them for help. Deanna Troi had told Lilly about the way Betazed was careful and deliberate about their relationship with Starfleet and the Federation. It had sounded like Riker having been posted there had been beneficial to both Deanna personally and to a lesser extent, her people.

The doors opened, and Lilly gasped. She hadn’t yet done any programs in the holodeck that involved simulated people, even though she knew it was possible. This… this was a place from her own time. The cars parked on the street were recognizable-- one was a huge winged boat of a thing from the 50’s! There were a few sedans, and after she crossed the street to the club, she saw a pickup truck straight out of a used car commercial she’d watched in the hotel before meeting her birth family.

One thing she was grateful for was the cleanliness of the street, something she didn’t think was accurate but her bare feet were happy with it all the same. It was also warm; Lilly’s dress had one thin strap on one shoulder, and the other had an asymmetric sleeve that matched the hem. The neckline dipped low on the left side and the hem reached up high on the right. At least one of the people standing under the nearby streetlight called out a compliment to her. There was a cluster of people outside the bar smoking and joking with each other, and when Lilly walked up, a large man in a black suit with a black shirt underneath greeted her.

“Welcome to  _ Billie Jeanette’s _ , miss,” he said in a thick accent that reminded her of a movie she’d seen with a party in the French Quarter of New Orleans.

“Thank you,” Lilly said. Then she walked in.

The club had a narrow hallway that opened out to a room full of small fancy tables, a bar along one wall, a dance floor, and a stage snugged up to the dance floor and the dining space. On the stage there was a jazz band with smartly dressed players, including a bass player, a piano player, and a tall trombone player standing with his back to the rest of the room. All of them looked relaxed and professional, and Lilly didn’t exactly hate the music they were playing, much to her surprise. It was probably the setting, she realized.

Somewhere in the club, she supposed Riker was sitting with a glass of  _ something, _ if the joviality in his voice had been any indication. The club wasn’t like any place she’d ever been in her life before, but there was something so  _ 20th century _ about it that it made her heart ache with homesickness. She walked up to the bar, careful not to set her shoes down on it, but as she waited for the bartender, she heard the band pick up into a jaunty piece of music. The trombone led, and she closed her eyes and listened, picturing herself on a weekend holiday with classes off till Tuesday. 

The give and take of the piano and trombone made Lilly think about her conversation with Arnokk, the real reason why she was there in the first place. She opened her eyes, meaning to do another sweep to see if Riker had been drawn out to listen to the trombonist leading the jazz piece, until she looked up onto the stage and saw he was already there.

Playing.

The bartender handed her a drink and she drifted over to look for a table. His eyes were shut as he played, clearly attuned to the band during his solo. Riker was wearing suit pants and a dress shirt, which explained why she hadn’t recognized him from the back. He looked really good in 20th century clothing. It took him away from all of the associations that made him feel antagonistic and distant to her.  _ This _ Riker was someone she could picture in her apartment living room, seated on the couch she’d never see again even when she did end up back in her own time.  _ This _ Riker looked approachable, attractive, and available.

Her thoughts made her feel both terrified and excited.

Lilly looked at the tables and saw one close to the stage with no one seated there and a suit jacket draped over a chair. It was the same color as Riker’s pants, and she walked over and sat down, setting her drink down in front of her, untouched. There was a half-empty serving of what looked like bourbon or whiskey in front of the chair with the jacket.

Lilly hadn’t felt self-conscious about her choice of table until the piano player glanced over and did a double-take. Shortly afterwards, the piano player started to ramp down the song, turning to wink at Lilly. Lilly shook her head in response, but the applause around her for the end of the song got her clapping.

She was grateful that neither Deanna nor the ambassador were in the room with her as she watched Riker lean over to confer with the piano player and then look in her direction. The way the look on his face warmed as he smiled at her made her heart leap. She had every intention of looking away, but instead she smiled back. Riker patted the woman on her shoulder, set his instrument down, and jogged over, sitting down at the table beside her in that ridiculous way he had of throwing his leg over the chair.

Riker didn’t say anything, and she lifted up her drink right as he leaned his head over to get a look at the dress she was wearing. She’d already drunk a huge sip and was about to finish it off with another when he reached over and rested his hand over it to stop her.

“The computer isn’t using regular synthehol for this program. It’s a lot stronger than--”

“Than I’m used to?” Lilly interrupted. “I don’t know what ‘synthehol’ is, but if it is what it sounds, a non-alcoholic alcohol, don’t worry. I’m used to the real stuff.” Lilly lifted the glass, and Riker just raised his eyebrow and kept his hand overtop it, leaning his body forward so his hand could follow her lift of the glass to her mouth.

It had to be the alcohol/synthehol already in her system, but Lilly just placed her lips against the glass and the sides of his fingers and tipped the glass up anyway.

The warmth of his hand felt like a kiss. She had met his gaze when she started and was able to watch his eyes darken as she took another long drink. When she set the glass down, he didn’t move his hand. Instead, he slid it along her lips, turning slightly until he’d brushed the tips of his first two fingers against them. Only then did he take his hand back.

They looked at each other for a few seconds after that, and she caught her breath as he licked the drips of her drink from where it had wet his fingers. She felt beautiful and desired thanks to the way he was looking at her, and she couldn’t find it in herself to worry about what he could be seeing in her eyes. Lilly finally felt like she could breathe again, but once she broke his gaze, she saw that his other hand on the table was clenched into a fist.

Suddenly she felt irresponsible and foolish. “I’m sorry, that was--”

“Don’t.” Riker’s tone was assertive yet the word sounded like it was torn from his lips. She didn’t let herself look at his face, but he continued, and she could  _ hear _ his wide grin in his voice. “That was…  _ memorable. _ You said you had something to tell me about the ambassador?”

Lilly nodded, still looking at the carved wood under the glass of the table, a curtain of her hair hiding him from her view, and her from his. “He demonstrated some completely amazing mental abilities, guessing at differences in my thought patterns as I spoke with him. He admitted that they were at the outer edges of what they can do as a species, and stated that part of his mission was to feel out whether they would be protected from being studied or exploited for those abilities as a part of the Federation.”

Riker’s voice turned somber, and Lilly wondered whether he’d just put his ‘game face’ on. “I imagine his research has told him that Starfleet regulations would be what dictates our responses if told some of these things face to face?”

“Yes,  _ thank you,” _ Lilly sighed in relief. “I was half expecting you to be unhappy with me getting caught up in this, even though I promise I didn’t do it on purpose.”

“I know you better than that, now,” Riker said. “Tell me what you can?”

She pushed her hair behind an ear so she could see him better, and saw that the warm, approving expression was back on his face. At Data’s art exhibition, Lilly had longed for him to look at her like this, and now it made the pit of her stomach drop. She knew she shouldn’t like it. She had to keep him at a distance, because somewhere back in her real life was a man destined to father her children, and when the time came to bear them, she couldn’t wish he were  _ this _ man instead!

Carefully, Lilly went over her conversation with Arnokk for Riker. She used the system she’d come up with as a teacher when her first grade class got too distracted seeing her use notes-- she’d assigned a number of key details to each of her fingers, and tapped them in order as she went through each of them. In class, she’d wear gaudy and silly rings or hairholders so her students knew how much progress they’d made. For this impromptu meeting, Lilly had conjured rings that complimented her outfit.

She told Riker that she had written a detailed account of the conversation and encrypted it on her database. By the time she was done, she had a little pile of rings, as she’d taken them off when she’d gotten to each of the points she’d wanted to tell him about. As she put them back on, she caught a fond look on his face and shot him a quizzical look. Almost as soon as she’d done that, though, she understood.

“This is a Thing, isn’t it? You knew about it already,” she said, wiggling her ringed fingers. He nodded. “I suppose it’s a good thing I don’t picture myself doing things just to piss you off, anymore, not that I ever actually acted on them.”

Riker laughed out loud. “Now  _ that _ I wouldn’t have expected.”

“I have a vindictive temper,” she said in an overloud whisper.

“One you no longer aim at me, then?”

“Only when you deserve it,” Lilly said.

“So what I should really be doing is making you angry constantly?”

His tone was joking, but she met his eyes, knowing that her expression was bleak. Lilly put on the last ring, instinctively starting to place it on the ring finger of her left hand, but at the last second, she pulled it back off and jammed it painfully onto the pointer finger on her right instead. Defiantly, she didn’t touch it and she didn’t look at him as she spoke.

“Did the ambassador give any indication of what the ceremony would be like? He was busy talking to me about other things, and--”

Lilly broke off. Riker had reached out and covered her hand with his, and his large thumb brushed comfort across her injured finger. She closed her eyes and let herself just feel it, forbidden though it was.

“It won’t be observed, Arnokk says. It’s similar to something he did during our initial meeting-- a kind of memory manipulation, but done by their king,” he told her.

“Can I hand this off to you, the whole liaison thing? I’m sure you could request that Starfleet assign someone, maybe even someone from Betazed who could advise them, right?” Lilly asked.

Riker squeezed her hand gently and let go. “That’s a really good idea. I’ll talk to the captain about it, unless you’d like to?”

“No thank you,” Lilly said, giving in to the need to remove the extra ring on her right hand.

Out of the corner of her eye, Lilly saw someone swoop over to the table, leaning over to speak to Riker. “William! Introduce me, man. You’ve had enough time to ogle her. Is this the woman you--”

“Computer, pause program.”

“You putting that plan of yours into action?” Lilly teased, pushing her chair back and standing, uncomfortable at the way the piano player she’d seen earlier was paused in a very uncomfortable physical position.

Riker stood, gesturing for her to precede him toward the club’s exit. She just looked up at him and raised an eyebrow.

“Do you want her to finish that sentence?” he asked, finishing the action of pulling on his suit jacket.

Lilly held his gaze for a long moment before shaking her head. Then, she smiled at him with as close an approximation of his own dazzling grin.

“You look fantastic in a 20th century suit, so there’s that. See you around.”

Weaving her way around the frozen club patrons was twenty times more fun when she realized he probably didn’t notice she wasn’t wearing shoes, and he’d probably find them when he terminated the program in a few minutes.

For the first time in her life, Lilly ‘Picard’ Windsor felt truly powerful. It was a shame, she thought, that she couldn’t let herself relive the moments that led up to it. After the ceremony on the Wrinekki planet, she would have to try to excise Commander William Riker from his unexpected grip on her heart. Considering he probably would be horrified to realize he had one in the first place, Lilly didn’t think it would be too terribly difficult. Deanna had warned her that he was a bit of a flirt, and they  _ did _ have to pretend to be involved. 

Once the ceremony was all over, he’d stop his pretence, and she’d start hers.

8888888888

The dress that Arnokk had given her was surprisingly modest. It did have a few quirks in the fabric that could have been iffy if they’d ended up mis-matched to certain parts of her anatomy, but thankfully, the whole thing ended up being flattering and in no way obscene. 

Its color was a rich, dark blue, scattered with tiny embroidered stars in what looked like white, but when Lilly looked more closely, some stars were faintly pink or blue tinted, just barely. The neckline was high with a circular cutout at the chest revealing a small bit of cleavage. Over each shoulder was a smaller circular cutout, and each sleeve tapered down to her wrist, with increasingly smaller circles cut out of the sleeve in a line down from the shoulders. In the bag along with the dress was a leather belt studded with weighted, embroidered leather circles hung from woven leather braid at various lengths. When Lilly fastened it, the interplay between them reminded her of a solar system almost, which was enhanced by the gold starburst pattern on the fabric centered over her stomach.

The sleeves had a ring for her to slip her middle finger through to hold them in place, and at the bottom of the cloth bag was a note instructing her to wear a necklace whose chain would cause the pendant to fall into the open space above her breasts.

Lilly kept herself busy during the day and a half until the ceremony, meeting with the captain and explaining in a limited way the things she’d spoken about with Arnokk. Picard had dropped by to talk to her about it, clearly after having had a meeting with Riker, and Lilly found herself feeling grateful that the Commander hadn’t accompanied him. From what research Data had managed to dig up for her about the upcoming ceremony, there was a particular emphasis on how much of a benefit mutual feelings were for its success, even though the android did assure her that the only true necessity was a strong desire on the claimant’s part not to lose the ‘gift.’

Data had told her that it seemed as if nearly all of the information was from outside observation, because the ceremony itself was considered private and inviolate-- and only twice before in the past five hundred years had there been a claimant other than a member of a royal family.

Now, looking into the mirror at the Time Turner necklace resting in the cutout of the elaborate dress she was wearing, Lilly wondered if she was being disrespectful or just sentimental. Arnokk’s note had told her to choose something that had meaning to her, and she felt even more of a connection to the time traveling device from the Harry Potter book series than she had when she’d read them the first time.

Data had included the seventh book in the series on her database, Lilly had noticed. She hadn’t let herself read it yet, as its release date was in July of 2007, over a year after she’d left her own time.

The door chime sounded, and she called out for whoever it was to enter. It was the captain, wearing what initially looked like a dress, but on second inspection was more like an extended length, fancier version of his usual uniform.

“Well?” Picard said, holding out his arms.

“I’m sorry, was I staring? It’s growing on me,” Lilly said sheepishly.

“You look quite lovely. No shoes?” Picard asked, smiling at her in a way that made her miss the father she’d grown up with.

“The outfit included these tiny little star rings that clip onto my big toes, so I think that’s all I get?” she said, walking over and lifting her foot up onto her computer chair so he could see. The rings were actually very dainty and made her feel like every single part of her was important, down to the tiniest detail. “They match the hair ornaments!” she said, touching her fingertips to each temple where she’d placed the starry clips. “I can’t imagine what the Commander looks like. I hope it’s the exact same outfit.”

Picard laughed. “He looks like a shepherd without the crook, actually. I’m telling you now, because he’s already down at the surface, and I don’t want you to laugh at him like I did when Arnokk and I collected him from his quarters.”

“You’re kidding,” Lilly said, eyes wide.

“I’m not.” Picard tapped the door open for her and she found Arnokk outside, wearing the most ornately fringed hair and garments she could have imagined.

8888888888

Will paced back and forth in the small room, anxious about the upcoming ceremony. For a society obsessed with information, they seemed to have been meticulous about keeping details about this particular ceremony secret. His outfit wasn’t terribly embarrassing, given the tassels, braids, and fringe he’d seen on the dignitaries mingling in the reception room. The oddest thing was the fact that it was all white. He had been given white trousers that fit well, even with his unusual height. The shirt he was wearing was comfortable, again long enough for his arms, with a drawstring top. Even the sandals he was given fit well, though they, along with the rest of the outfit, were so blindingly white that he was concerned about scuffing them before the ceremony. The strangest part was the robe, a white fluffy affair that even had a hood. With the hood up and the ties done, it covered him from head to sandaled feet.

The room he’d been told to wait in was round except for the narrow hallway that led to the ceremonial space. Will had walked to the antechamber directly, bypassing the place most of the dignitaries would be waiting. He’d been told that Arnokk, his counterpart Keben, Picard, Lilly, Will, Ouwen the King of Prime, and the elderly King of Beta world, Purokk, would all assemble in the room Will was waiting in. Then he, Lilly, and Ouwen would proceed to the center room for their ceremony, after which the others would meet them and the group would move through to the larger ceremonial room. The rest of the dignitaries would take their seats in the observation space that bordered the ceremonial rooms. The diagram in the briefing book looked like a double 8 with a stem through the top. The upper part of the eight was completely enclosed and no one would be able to see or hear what went on inside.

The door opened and an older man walked in, accompanied by someone whose clothing reminded Will of Arnokk.

“Your highness,” Will guessed, bowing his head respectfully.

“You must be the Commander!” The man’s voice was strong despite his rather frail appearance.

“Yes, sir,” Will replied. 

“I look forward to seeing this mysterious niece of the Arbiter. I hear she gave Arnokk quite a turn! This is Keben, Prime world’s ambassador.”

Will was ready with the typical Wrinekki bow, but Keben reached out and shook his hand admirably. The door opened, admitting Captain Picard. Will introduced him as Arbiter Picard to the King of Beta world, and then the door opened again. Arnokk and the man Will recognized as Prime’s King walked in, moving aside for Lilly.

Will had been expecting a matching white outfit, but Lilly was dressed as the night sky, her hair falling like the sun’s rays to the shoulders of her rich, dark blue dress. Like his robe, her dress fell all the way to her feet, and he noticed immediately that she wasn’t wearing shoes. Even though the whole room seemed to be watching their reaction to each other, Will couldn’t help but share an amused look with her, remembering his shock when he’d found her rich red high heels resting proudly in the middle of the grid of the holodeck. 

Picard stepped forward, and Lilly rested her hand on his arm. The two walked over to King Ouwen, and as expected, Will moved to stand between them, pulling his hood up, his arms crossed. He felt like a disapproving cloud, but the King gestured for him to start down the hallway, and Will did just that.

The dark blue room was completely empty except for two waist-high display stands with a clear sphere resting on each. In the very center of the circular room was a small recessed space about three feet in diameter. That space was vibrant yellow, while the rest of the room matched Lilly’s dress without the tiny stars that were scattered across it.

“Choose an orb,” King Ouwen said. “Hold it in your hand, and then close your eyes. Your body cannot be permanently harmed by this experience, though depending on your choices, you will feel pain. Shall we begin?”

Will slid his hood back and walked to stand behind the remaining orb. He looked over to see that Lilly had already picked hers up. It was no longer clear. Inside the glassy surface, a red mist swirled. Her eyes were closed, and beside her, the King was looking at her with an expression Will did not like. He tried to remind himself that Arnokk’s representation of Ouwen was not real, and this man had not done anything untoward. 

Will reached out and picked up his orb, looking down to see that his was no longer clear, but a misty dark grey. With a deep, steadying breath, he closed his eyes.

This time, he wasn’t prompted to share a memory. Instead, he was drawn into a scene which appeared around him much like the swirling storm of color in the orbs. The room was brighter than the one he knew he was standing in; the floor was not dark blue carpet but dark blue glass, lit from within every few paces by a star-shaped light built into the floor.

“An earlier design that I confess I liked better,” the King told him. He’d walked over to stand in front of the recessed circle on the floor, which had been replaced by a column of smoke lit from beneath. “Welcome. To satisfy my people, I’ve asked you here to absolve me of my responsibility to choose a wife from the Arbiter’s family. You, Lilly Picard, are already Chosen, are you not?”

“She is,” Will said in a clear, strong voice.

“Can she not speak for herself?” the King said, clearly irritated.

“If all that matters is that she has been chosen, as opposed to not choosing  _ you,” _ Will said, moving closer to the King, “--then I’m the one you should be speaking to.”

“Very well,” the King said. His body language changed, morphing from ceremonial and grandiose to clipped precision. “Your resolve shall be tested. Our legends speak of the father of our creation as a loving husband who withstood the sun’s radiation with the help of his beloved, shedding the fibers of his robe as a protection that became our atmosphere. This was only possible by placing his heart--” and here, he reached out to make a gesture toward Will’s grey orb, “--and her heart--” another gesture with his other hand, toward Lilly’s, “--in the pockets of his robe. Together, in the folds of the robe, they merge, protecting the two of you. Alone, your heart shall burn and purify.” King Ouwen walked between Will and Lilly and turned around, his hands still held out as if gesturing to the two of them now, not the orbs they held. “Burn, but not die. It is a choice. She may still choose.”

Now Will understood the meaning of the two pockets on his robe. The fabric that comprised them was so thin and fragile on their opposite sides that he’d worried about tearing through them the first time he tried it on. He supposed that was so that a little heat from whatever reaction the two orbs likely have in proximity to each other would cause them to combine, melting the mesh of the fabric between.

The obstinate look on the King’s face told Will that he had an inkling that all was not as it seemed between the two offworlders. To properly complete the ceremony, Lilly and Will would need to place their orbs in Will’s robe, then stand together in the beam, letting the chemical reaction in the real room affect this augmented one. The king’s bronze outfit had changed to that of a bright, almost glowing yellow, and he radiated disapproval of Will. As Arnokk had implied, there was clearly an emotional component to this ceremony. The joining of the orbs was probably the key to the ‘protection’ that the king was alluding to.

If their joining was contingent on the couple sharing feelings, Will knew it wouldn’t happen. There wasn’t a point in letting Lilly ‘burn,’ in that case.

Will untied his robe and put his hands on his hips, sweeping the robe out of the way with his wrists. “In here, then?” he said, striding forward.

“I… yes,” the King said, clearly surprised. “This test is designed to be painful for any single person to endure,” he said, his earlier confidence making way for stunned sincerity.

“But not fatal.” Will risked a look at Lilly. She looked worried, her fisted hand against her lips as if forcing herself to stay silent out of clear necessity. Her other hand clutched her red orb to her chest. “Stay there,” he ordered her, unable to prevent the tiny curl up of his lips at the thought of her outrage in being ordered around by him yet again. He didn’t wait for her to react, though. Will slid his orb into the right pocket of his robe and walked into the beam.

It was  _ excruciating. _

He’d steeled himself for pain, but this didn’t feel like ordinary torture. It wasn’t burning, aching, or stinging, it was solid, head crushing pain as if he were caught in a vise. Will shook his head, hoping movement might shift the feeling somewhere other than what felt like the very center of his brain. It didn’t help. All he could do was curl his hands into fists, hold them at his sides as tightly as he could, and hold on to that rigidity for as long as this would take. As vindictive as this upstart king might be planning to be, Will knew he was more stubborn. After all, he didn’t just want to protect Lilly. He  _ had _ claimed her. She just hadn’t claimed him back, and that was good. She wasn’t for him anyway. She was for Picard’s ancestor, and right now, Will’s job was to keep her that way.

8888888888

“That looks more painful than you said it would be!” Lilly said. Riker was faced away from her, but she could read pain in every line of his body, even obscured as it was by the robe. She watched him clench his fists and hold his arms tightly to his sides, and her heart ached for him. It was painful to watch.

The King walked over to stand between Lilly and her view of Riker. He shrugged. “His stubbornness enhances it.”

“How can you shrug off someone who looks like they’re being tortured?” she cried, stepping to the side, despite the coldness of the floor. As soon as this strange dream world had enveloped her, Lilly had felt cold despite her long skirt and sleeves. The King’s golden outfit seemed to glow with warmth, and she somehow knew it was in an attempt to woo her.

“Choose me, little one. Become my princess, bear me a child to become my queen. I sense your resistance to him. Give in to the doubt and choose  _ me.” _

“You’re really bad at diplomacy, your highness,” Lilly said, walking around him to stand a few inches from Riker’s back, which was starting to bow under the agony he was clearly feeling.

“How  _ dare--” _

“One more thing,” Lilly said, curling both hands around her orb and smiling sweetly at the treacherous king of Wrinekk Prime. “I’m infertile. This whole thing was to save face for you. Too bad you blew it.”

Then, Lilly spun on her heel (which was fantastically effective with the leverage she had with bare feet against glass, not to mention the amazing twirl her voluminous skirt provided), turning her back to the King as she stepped into the beam of light, her red orb grasped firmly in her right hand. She tried to time it so that she’d be able to slide it right into the right pocket on Riker’s robe before the beam’s effects hit her.

As soon as Lilly stepped down into the beam of light, she was forced to grab onto Riker’s waist to steady herself against the utter onslaught of pain. She was intensely grateful that she’d remembered where he’d put his orb, because though she knew he didn’t love her, the faithfulness he clearly felt to put himself through this torment had to mean  _ something _ to the damned ceremony. Perhaps that plus the way she’d started to feel about him in the past few days would be enough to take the edge off.

She’d chosen well to come up behind Riker. As soon as he’d felt her touch him, Riker groaned something that sounded like a ‘no!,’ and she knew it was out of frustration that she’d put herself in the very position he was suffering to prevent. The orb she’d let slip out of her grasp into his pocket had sunk far lower than she would have expected with Riker’s already in the pocket, and the horrific pain hadn’t lessened at all. Lilly started sobbing against Riker’s back. She’d clearly chosen the wrong pocket. She hadn’t had much hope that the orbs would merge anyway, but now she had no hope for it at all.

Riker started turning, and she clutched at him, fearful that he’d knock her backwards and into the king’s arms. Lilly had been counting in her head, and when she hit 30 seconds, there was a change in the nature of the pain.

“Of all the stubborn, willful,  _ ridiculous  _ things to do--” Riker was shouting at her, fighting with her grasping hands, pulling her against his chest, hands ringed around her wrists.

“It’s not as bad, it’s worth it, it’s getting better, it’s--” Lilly babbled at him through her sobs until his arms slid around her and she was able to relax against him. The fabric of his white shirt was thin, and he was so warm and comforting. Now Lilly cried tears of relief. The pain had stopped.

“Oh, sweetheart, what have you done?” Riker whispered, his face buried in her hair.

“It’s over, you did it, thank you! God, I’m probably a mess,” Lilly said. She knew she had to pull herself together.

It was only after she’d babbled at him that Lilly really heard what Riker had said, and how he’d said it. A strangely hopeful song started to sing, deep down where Lilly hid the things she knew she shouldn’t want. She lifted her head and felt him shift his head up and away. Her hair was stuck to the wetness of the tears on her cheeks and she brushed it out of the way impatiently, desperate to look at his face. When she finally looked up at him, she saw that the beam they were standing in hadn’t changed at all.

“It’s not over,” Riker said. He dipped his hand into the pocket of his robe and pulled out a single orb. It wasn’t bright red as it had been before, but she recognized the shade immediately.

Command red.


	12. Denial

###  Chapter Twelve: Denial

As he stood in the beam trying not to double over in agony, the only thing that kept Will upright at all was knowing that what he was doing kept Lilly from doing it instead.

Then he felt her throw herself at his back, and Will’s exclamation of dismay was instinctual. The heat of the two orbs in his robe pocket burned against his leg as he forced himself to turn around and reason with her. Of course,  _ reason _ was the first thing that fled from him in a moment that chaotic, so he shouted at her instead, only seeing how hard she was sobbing after he dragged her against him, demanding answers.

Then, the pain lessened; between one breath and the next, too quickly for his tolerance to have grown, the crushing misery started to lift, breath after breath, until it was finally --blessedly-- gone. It should have been impossible. He pulled out the single orb from his pocket and its color was so perfect that he almost groaned again.

The pain of the ceremony had stopped, but Will was still being tortured.

“It’s not over,” he told her, handing her the orb and nodding at the mist that still surrounded them. The room beyond was now obscured by it, and though the deep red orb was no longer warm, it was radiating some sort of aura that pushed the fog away from them. Lilly looked up at the beam and then down at the orb in her hand.

“I thought this was impossible,” she whispered. “The emotional component--” she broke off as her whole body trembled. He was trembling too, and he could tell it was an after-effect of the intensity of pain they’d both experienced.

Will became hyper aware of every embroidered star on her dress under his hands, as if the roughness of his skin against the rich thread made them snag in protest. He’d meant to let go of her, but he didn’t want to ruin her dress, so he froze with his hands right where they were, one up by her shoulder with two fingers brushing against her bare skin where the fabric was cut out, the other at her waist. His mind kept repeating the way he’d called her ‘sweetheart,’ but he was so overcome with sensory stimulation that he couldn’t tell if it was in condemnation or excitement.

The question was, how did the orb work with only his feelings to activate it?

“Maybe it’s mistaking an abundance of irritation as something else?” he joked to her. The words felt like a toy dermal regenerator being wielded against traumatic leg amputation. Lilly’s response was to bury her head against his chest again, laughing as she’d done in the conference room guarded by Ferengi. “All right: respect, maybe?” Will tried, wanting her to look at him with fire in her eyes at the implication that she’d walked into certain agony because she’d come to  _ respect _ him. He had no idea what the real reason was. It was as impossible to contemplate as the orbs merging into the exact red of his uniform.

“I’m sorry,” Lilly said, her shoulders still, all amusement having fled from her voice. She pulled her arm from where she’d been hugging him with it to cover her face. “I’m every bit as irresponsible as you thought I was from the beginning. I’ve screwed up and the thing activated its ‘happy ever after,’ merging my feelings and your sense of duty, but I couldn’t just stand there and watch you in pain!”

Will’s knees buckled, her dress forgotten as he slid his other hand up to tug her hand away to see her expression.  _ “My _ sense of duty?” he asked, scarcely able to believe what she was saying. “You think you did this yourself?” He heard a roaring in his ears, as if the rush of blood from his frantically pounding heart had been amplified by hope.

Mutely, she nodded. “When we get back to the ship, I’ll isolate myself, I’ll stay away from you, I’ll--”

“You hate the sight of me!” Will said, forcing himself to let go of her, throwing his hands up half in exasperation, half in complete, delighted shock.

Lilly laughed, and he saw the truth of her words in her eyes as she looked up at him. “I know! What am I thinking?” She held the orb up, and he took it.

“Your sweater was this color, that first day,” he said.

“You remember that?” Lilly asked, clearly touched. He nodded, holding an arm out for her. Her hesitation and obvious self doubt made him want to tell her exactly how much he loved her, how beautiful and infuriating he found her to be, how perfect for him. Instead, he closed his eyes when she tucked herself into his side, under his robe.

“It’ll be over soon,” he promised her.

Will gave himself permission to enjoy holding Lilly for a greedy moment. He looked down at her, this young version of a woman he’d watched struggle, lead, and age gracefully through her holo journals. The craziest part was that  _ he recognized her expression. _ She’d looked at him with the same determination and vulnerability as at the speech she’d already given, in another speech after a terrible health crisis shortly after her ascension to the throne, and when she’d addressed the world after the worst battle that turned out to win the world war. All times when she was uncertain about the future, but optimistic that doing the right thing would turn out well.

The right thing.

He knew what that was, and it wasn’t what had been shining in her eyes.

Lilly had mentioned his sense of duty, and he felt that weighing heavily on him now. He had no doubt now that the ceremony had gone exactly as intended, with the couple in question protected by their feelings for each other. He’d expected to withstand the pain by himself, and he still would. He would have to lead her to believe that he didn’t feel the same, and after they returned to the ship, he would have to stay away from her, just as she’d just now promised to stay away from him.

“Listen, I think we have the chance of getting the exact result we want from the Wrinekki and from the crew,” he said. “You can tell the others from the ship that your orb was always red without elaborating. I’ll imply that I’ve hidden mine while we’re on the planet, and then say I gave it back.” Will took a deep breath, steeling himself against the lie he was about to tell. “No one needs to know what really happened. I’m very grateful for your help, though, now that it’s obvious how long the beam has held for.”

As he spoke, Will felt her body turn rigid and knew it was because he was essentially rejecting her. She pulled away from him, hugging herself as if she were cold. She looked regal.

“You’re welcome,” she said quietly.

He reached out for her hand, hating the way she’d drawn her dignity around her in obvious unhappiness. “Lilly--”

“Please don’t,” she said, turning her back to him, her skirt brushing against his pants. “I should--”

The quality of the light around them changed as the mist-like smoke was sucked into the ceiling. A brilliant flash of bright white light went off around them, and Will pulled Lilly against him, her back to his chest, and turned his body, pulling his robe around to protect her. When the light had faded and he opened his eyes again, he saw that the room had reverted back to the way it truly was in reality. He heard footsteps and saw the King of Wrinekk Prime stop in front of them.

“Charming,” he said derisively. The doors on either side of the round room opened, revealing the space for the second ceremony, and allowing those left in the antechamber to come in via the narrow passageway.

Will stepped back and up, out of the recessed space, and Lilly lifted her skirts to walk out as well. The frosty way she ignored the king intrigued Will, and he resolved to ask her during the feast that followed, knowing that he wouldn’t,  _ shouldn’t _ have the chance to ask back on the Enterprise.

He went to follow her, but even as the other men walked into the room and spoke to Lilly, King Ouwen stopped Will with a hand at his chest.

“Is she truly infertile?” he whispered.

Will looked down at the man’s hand, then followed the gaze up his arm, up to his face, down to his toes, and back to his face. He kept contempt out of his expression, but used his most distant, steely tone of voice. “Yes. You must have pissed her off pretty badly for her to tell you. I’d steer clear of her if I were you.”

Then he walked away to stand near Lilly, feeling like the Europa to her Jupiter, caught in her orbit and compelled to reach for her with feelings better kept frozen.

8888888888

The ceremony of Peace was engrossing to watch for Lilly, which was a relief for her after the disaster of her confession to Riker. The worst part was knowing she would make the same decision to spare him the pain even if he’d been the same angry soldier she’d thought he was when she’d first met him, because now she understood that his anger came from wanting to keep Picard’s life preserved, and with his, hers. She’d done exactly what that rigid, concerned, and disapproving Commander Riker had worried she would do and gone on to make a connection to the 24th century, one she was completely certain she would carry with her for the rest of her life.

Lilly watched Jean-Luc Picard and the Wrinekki kings pronounce peace between their planets, aware that the white-robed Riker lurked nearby as tradition dictated. Just after the ceremony ended, while they were waiting with the other dignitaries to file into the larger reception space before the banquet, Riker came up directly behind her and rested a hand on her shoulder. He leaned over and spoke into her ear.

“It occurred to me just now that we are surrounded by empaths.”

Lilly laughed and turned around, lifting her hand to run her fingers through his hair in a gesture both familiar and loving. “I know,” she said, deliberate in her show of affection. She hadn’t let herself dwell on the heartache she was due for that exact reason: everyone at the banquet saw the two of them as a devoted couple who were stand-ins for the Wrinekki creation myth, and they could all sense emotions.

“You’re way ahead of me on this one, aren’t you?” Riker said, reaching up to tangle their hands together. 

“I’m just sorry I’ve put you in such an awkward position,” Lilly told him quietly. She started to follow the woman governor of a particular territory of Wrinekk Prime who had sat beside her and complimented her dress. To her surprise, Riker didn’t let go of her hand, and she looked back at him. “I was just keeping up appearances for the captain’s sake,” she added. “I won’t take advantage of the evening, I promise.”

“What if I do?” he whispered, a faraway look in his blue eyes. 

He was smiling, but there was a sadness there that she couldn’t bear. They were the last two in their row, so Lilly walked back to him, close enough to whisper where he could hear.

“Don’t you  _ dare _ make yourself uncomfortable to avoid hurting me. I was the one who screwed up, and I’ll deal with that myself. Got it?” she hissed up at him.

_ Now _ his smile was genuine and blinding. “Crystal clear, your highness.”

Lilly rolled her eyes. “You would make the  _ worst _ Han Solo,” she scoffed, pulling her hand free of his to start walking away. To her complete surprise, Riker reached out and snagged her other hand and pulled her right into his arms, dress and all.

“I  _ caught _ that reference, and you’re wrong. I’m a superb pilot. Best on the ship,  _ Princess.” _ Then he kissed her briefly on the lips and set her back down, turning her around with one hand on each shoulder.

Lilly was so surprised that she simply walked where he directed her to. 

8888888888

Two days after the ceremony, Lilly woke with a pounding headache. She’d given herself permission to cry it all out the prior evening, and now that she felt like death warmed over, she realized she hadn’t drunk enough fluids to make up for what she’d lost.

“Super great phrasing there, chief,” Lilly commented as she dragged herself over to the replicator. After drinking an entire cup of cold water, she found out that somehow the program  _ did _ know how to make a white chocolate milkshake that tasted admirably like the one from Steak n’ Shake.

_ “Worf to Lilly Picard?” _

Lilly stared at the ceiling and wondered, for the first time, where the speakers were, exactly.

“Lilly to Worf, go ahead?”

_ “Alexander and I were wondering if we were still on for dinner and the holodeck?” _

She touched her hand to her chest. Worf might not be empathic, but he was perceptive for sure.

“Absolutely, we’re on. I might be a bit of a wilted flower, but I can’t wait to show him my favorite waterfall in the universe! Thanks for asking, Lilly out.”

_ “I will stop by for you at 0600 then. Picnic dinner, I think you said?” _

“Shit, I would have completely forgotten that part!” Lilly said to herself.

There was the sound of a cleared throat on the comm. 

“Oh,  _ no, _ that came over the comm, didn’t it? I’m so sorry. See you later, I’ll be mortified all day!”

_ “Do not be concerned. Commander Data and Captain Picard do not seem to be bothered. Worf out.” _

Lilly ran into her bedroom and hid under a pillow for nearly ten minutes after that.

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By six, Lilly had a picnic basket full of ingredients for chicken and chorizo tacos, including roasted sweet peppers and onions, sliced jalapenos, shredded cheese, sour cream, and shredded lettuce, along with some other ingredients that had appeared when she asked for ‘traditional 20th century taco fixings.’ She also stuck in six of the chilled Jarritos flavored drinks in Pineapple, Fruit Punch, Grapefruit, Tamarind, and Guava.

The chime for the door went off and when Lilly answered it, Alexander and Worf were there in 20th century clothing-- jeans and t-shirts. Alexander was even wearing a plain baseball cap.

“Please come in. Would you give me a minute? I would like to change  _ my _ clothes, if that’s all right?”

Twenty minutes later, they were sitting on benches facing the Falls eating tacos. Alexander especially liked when Lilly asked the computer if the Maid of the Mist was available. The three of them chose to board by themselves (but watched as the second boat, as full of tourists covered by colored rain slickers as always, left the area before their boat approached) without the plastic protection. They got thoroughly soaked, and had a blast.

8888888888

Seven days after they left Wrinekk Prime, Will was sitting in his office looking over the duty roster transfer requests for the upcoming month when his door chimed.

“Come?” he called out. Hardly anyone ever visited him in his office, mostly because he preferred to hold meetings in the observation room or various department spaces, where the people he was meeting with felt more comfortable.

Deanna walked in, wearing the teal asymmetric dress he liked. Will was immediately suspicious. He nodded at her.

“You are unbelievable!” she complained, pulling over a chair from the wall to sit beside his desk instead of in front of it.

“Have a seat,” Will suggested, pantomiming politeness. “What can I help you with?”

“You can stop avoiding eye contact with me in meetings, stop hiding out in your office or your quarters instead of socializing, and you can stop being defensive when I come by to find out why,” Deanna said evenly.

“It’s only been a _ week, _ Deanna!”

“The fact that you are marking time from a specific event means that there’s something bothering you,” she told him.

Will sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. He turned off his PADD and swiveled his chair to face hers, leaning over and resting his forearms on his knees. “I had a difficult time on the planet. I’m working through it. You’re my friend, and I respect your expertise and your advice, but for right now, even  _ I _ don’t know how to process everything. When I do, I’ll come to you, all right?”

“I would have fallen for that if it hadn’t been  _ in the handbook _ as a recommended way to respond to unwelcome inquiries, Will.”

“Well,  _ shit,” _ Will said, grinning.

“Can you just tell me what happened that put you in mourning?” Deanna asked in a hushed, gentle tone.

Will sat up straight and frowned at her.  _ “Mourning?” _

“The emotions I’m sensing from you and your behavior all fit the profile of mourning a loss.”

He stood up and adjusted his uniform, walking over to stand at the window. Most crew offices were in the center of the ship, but his was different. Will searched for the right combination of words to get Deanna to feel satisfied and leave without the desire to meet with him multiple times until he felt rinsed clean.

“It’s off the record, Will. I walked in here as the ship’s counselor, but that’s not what you need right now, is it?” she said, coming up behind him. He could see her reflection, and her eyes were kind, as always.

“Oh, I’m sure I need both,” Will sighed.

“Tell me?”

“Can’t you tell? I’m sure I’m  _ broadcasting  _ it,” he said, wincing at how bitter he sounded.

“You love her.”

“Yes, I do.”

“How does  _ she _ feel?”

With Deanna’s question came a flood of affection and approval from the connection the two of them shared. Throughout everything Deanna and Will had been through together, she’d never seemed angry or jealous via that connection. He’d wondered at first, after they’d been assigned to the Enterprise together, if that was something that was instinctual for Betazoids. He thought that maybe, once they loved a person and shared that mental link with them, they never tainted it with meanness. Now, six some years later, Will knew that this was more a Deanna thing than a Betazoid trait. She was a generous, helpful person by nature, and far too dignified to be that petty.

Will turned around. “It’s mutual. The orbs merged, Deanna.”

“You lied, on the planet?” She was surprised.

“By omission,” he clarified for her, turning his body to lean against the bulkhead beside the window. “Lilly’s orb was red at first, just not that shade. The truth is, I don’t think the orbs have anything to do with the emotions involved. It’s far more simple to assume that a couple will only put them in proximity if they’re willing to be  _ seen _ as a couple, or if one of them is a stubborn vixen who can’t do what she’s told.”

It seemed that the mental block he’d been employing to filter out thoughts about Lilly was wavering.

“Did you mention that at the time?” Deanna asked. “The theory about the orbs, I mean,” she added, smiling.

“No. She said what merged the orbs was, and I’m quoting, ‘My feelings and your sense of duty.’ I realized that my duty at the time was to agree with her. She has no idea how I feel.”

“So you lied to everyone, including yourself,” Deanna said, walking back over to her chair and sitting down, very obviously waiting for his reaction to her inflammatory statement.

“Is  _ that _ in the handbook?” Will asked.

“Maybe,” Deanna said, a hint of a smile touching her features. “Answer this instead: what would you do if she were any other woman you had feelings for?”

Now Will was confused. “I don’t follow.”

“Don’t try to figure out what kind of answer I’m looking for, just answer!”

“The circumstances--” he started, but she widened her eyes in what looked like real anger. “All right!” he said instead, straightening up to walk over and sit on the edge of his desk. He thought about the question in regards to past relationships, carefully excluding Deanna despite her exasperation about ‘circumstances.’ The obvious answer was there, but he still wanted to know  _ why _ she wanted him to give it. Finally, he simply said it. “Normally there would need to be a very large moral obstacle to pursuing a relationship.”

He didn’t elaborate because he trusted Deanna’s intelligence.

“What is the obstacle here?” was her astonishing response.

“Deanna!”

“You’re throwing up walls, Will, and I’m not entirely sure what you’ve constructed them out of. Usually you’re the first person to look for exceptions, and the fact that you’re not doing it this time has me concerned,” Deanna said.

“You  _ want _ me to risk the future of humanity, including possibly your own father, because I have romantic feelings for the wrong person?” Will was shocked. He’d avoided her precisely because he’d expected her censure, that she’d tell him she warned him about his attachment from the very beginning, and he’d stubbornly refused to listen. Instead, she seemed to be encouraging him to do the very thing he knew he couldn’t.

If this was a therapy method, Will hadn’t encountered it before. It was like the ancient game of ‘chicken’ combined with reverse psychology.

“This role reversal is disconcerting to the extreme,” Deanna complained.

“Are you trying to get me to defend my decision?” he asked her. She stood up and came over to where he was sitting on his desk. He was still taller than her, but not as much in this position, and she’d come so close that he would knock her down if he stood, now.

“On Earth, before society had advanced enough to truly value reproductive freedom, an unmarried woman who became pregnant would be expected to marry the baby’s father, no matter their circumstances. Reluctant fathers-to-be were sometimes threatened by the mother’s own fathers. They called these events ‘shotgun weddings,’ and many of them ended in divorce. Complex decisions should not always be made based on one or two data points.”

“You think I’m being hasty,” Will said.

“I think you’re telling yourself she is as good as dead to you. As a counselor, I can tell you that the first thing a person does when they discover a loved one isn’t really dead is  _ not _ shrug and tell them that the feelings they once had have now been irrevocably changed,” Deanna said, her eyes bright with her own memories. “My mother is, well…  _ my mother, _ but if my father somehow reappeared, she would be every bit as delighted now as she would have been when we first lost him.” She rested her hand on his. “That kind of moving on can happen, but it’s not guaranteed, and it’s much harder when the person isn’t really gone. You and I have actually moved on, enough for you to truly love her. If you want to leave those feelings behind, you need to  _ move on _ from them, not create an artificial separation that your mind will not accept.”

“I don’t  _ want _ to move on,” Will admitted in a hoarse whisper. He closed his eyes and let the ache he was feeling fill his chest the way it had wanted to since he’d made the decision to hide his feelings from Lilly.

“Then don’t.”

Will opened his eyes and looked at Deanna. Her expression was serious, full of the mulish determination that he knew her most difficult patients dreaded. When it was clear that he was actually rendered speechless, she smiled and turned, pacing with her hands knotted together in front of her.

“I’ve actually thought a lot about this. Ideally, Lilly won’t ever have to deal with the exact entity who brought her to the Enterprise.  _ Ideally, _ we hide her here until Miss Rogers is separate enough from that being that we can appeal to her powers. Setting aside whether that would even work, with their lifespan, it may take decades until the right conditions are met!”

Ignoring the leap his heart made hearing Deanna’s argument, Will shook his head. “No.” He stood up, every muscle in his body tense. He turned his back on Deanna and put both hands on the wall on either side of the narrow bookcase that held the old-style handbooks and specs that he’d collected and displayed there. He leaned over, shaking his head, wondering why she would do this, offer him hope on a platter, knowing he’d have to reject it.

“You expect a twenty-six year old woman to spend thirty years alone, waiting? Do you think those of us she goes to for advice would advise her to do so?”

Will shoved away from the wall and marched over to Deanna, who stood perfectly still and waited for him to reach her.

Instead of yelling, her immobility drained his outrage and he backed up and collapsed into his chair. “Why are you doing this?” he whispered.

“Because I want you to be happy. Because the damage, if there really is any, will have already been done. Has Jean-Luc Picard disappeared? She already loves you, Will. I’ve sensed it.” Deanna walked over and rested a comforting hand on his shoulder.

He sat and leaned his head over onto her hand. “I want to reach for the rationalizations you’re offering, Deanna, but I can’t. At least not right now.”

“Just think about it,” Deanna said. “And show up at the poker game tonight.”

Will laughed. “One out of two ain’t bad?”

8888888888

Lilly frowned at her computer screen. She’d sent Guinan a message after she’d gotten back from last week’s trip to Niagara, and then again four days later, offering to ‘make’ dinner, but had heard nothing back.

Somehow she knew that this was like the bar stool-- Guinan had figured out the reason why Lilly hadn’t been to see her, and she had decided to take a stand against it by not responding. 

Her alarm chimed, telling her she had 20 minutes to put on her Klingon outfit. It was, thankfully, not heavily armored (or heavy, for that matter, Worf had promised) because they were going to be going into one of the cave systems the Klingon home planet was known for. The chestplate was ornate and low cut, like the images that Worf had shown her, but the skirt feature that was made up of varying lengths of thick fabric was much shorter in this version. 

“Well,” Lilly said, looking at herself in the mirror. “At least with a replicator, you never get the line, ‘sorry, we don’t make this in your size!’”

The door chimed, and Lilly ran her fingers through her hair. She’d put a headband on that fanned it out a bit, but her blonde hair wasn’t anything like the rich auburn or black hair she’d seen on the Klingon women in Worf’s pictures.

As soon as he walked in she saw that Worf was  _ decked out _ . He looked deadly, and she told him so.

His grin was toothy. “Thank you. Your attire fits you better than I expected.”

“That is definitely the best I am going to get! I’m  _ so _ not a warrior, though I feel like I might be committing heresy by saying as much, dressed like this!” Lilly told him, grinning. “Where’s Alexander?”

“I have asked him to wait at the holodeck. I had an idea, based on your recent behavior of staying in your quarters.” Worf held out his arm, the leather and metal making interesting noises as they interacted with every movement.

Lilly walked over and tucked her arm in his. He smiled down at her approvingly, then tapped his communicator. “Two to beam directly to Holodeck Two.”

Before Lilly could object or even react, she felt as if her body were lifting, effervescing, and then re-forming in a different space.

“Wow,” Lilly said.

“Was that your  _ very first time _ being transported?” Alexander asked her, coming over from where he was standing in the arched doorway of the holodeck.

“It was! Pretty strange sensation,” Lilly told him.

“Despite our hunger, it would be better if we ate after our excursion. There are certain smells in the caves I am about to show you which may cause a strong physical reaction,” Worf told her. He wasn’t showing a hint of humor, so she decided he was being serious.

“Lead on, then! I will gather my  _ kajunpak't,” _ Lilly said, hoping she pronounced the Klingon word for courage properly.

“I have never known you to be without it,” Worf said. Then, he turned away from her and led his son forward into the program he’d prepared to show them. 

8888888888

Worf, Alexander, and Lilly were transported back from the holodeck to Worf’s quarters after the trip into the caves of Q'onoS. This time, for dinner they ate Alexander’s favorite, which was a mixture of various kinds of foods, all of them delicious. Worf asked Lilly to wait while he completed Alexander’s bedtime rituals (which was how she overheard him humming something while Alexander cleaned his teeth, likely to ensure he did it for the correct length of time) so that they could have a chat before she returned to her quarters.

She took the opportunity to replicate herself a cup of tea the way she liked it as she waited, and she had only taken a few sips by the time Worf came back.

“He was quite tired, today. Thank you for being willing to travel so far, despite some of the terrain,” Worf said, removing one of the vest pieces from his outfit and hanging it on the back of his computer chair.

“It was so lovely. Green is my favorite color, and even in my wildest dreams I couldn’t have imagined some of the things I got to see. I really appreciate it,” Lilly said. “I’ve always loved geology.”

Worf sat on the other end of the couch from her, turning to face her. “I have been told by a friend that I should make clear that I am not attempting to form a romantic relationship by meeting with you so regularly. I appreciate anyone who is willing to take the time to be kind to my son.”

His demeanor was so sincere and serious that Lilly didn’t dare make any off-handed comments to make light of the situation.

“Thank you for risking an uncomfortable conversation in order to be honest and careful, Worf, but I promise, I am not reading into any of this,” Lilly assured him.

“I meant to express that I enjoy your friendship as well,” Worf said, sounding frustrated. “You are correct, this is not--” he broke off, making a rough grunting sound. “You have been kind in many ways. Do you wish to head back?”

“I think so. I wanted to ask your advice on something but I don’t think I’m up for it today,” Lilly confessed. She stood up and started to untangle the hanging strips of cloth that made up the skirt of her Klingon garb. From the corner of her eye, she saw Worf start laughing. “What?” she said, putting her hands on her hips indignantly.

“There.  _ Now _ you look Klingon,” he said, still laughing.

Lilly swept past him toward the door. “I suppose you’re going to tell me that short, blonde Klingon women don’t spend any time meticulously untangling their outfits?”

“They do not.”

“It really would serve you right if I left your quarters dressed like this and walked back to mine. It’s, what? Half past nine? Is that scandalously insulting to your male prowess?” she teased.

“One to beam directly to her quarters, Ensign Singh,” Worf said in a thoroughly disgusted tone of voice.

Lilly was still laughing when she appeared back in her own rooms. It had been a good day, an unexpectedly enjoyable one.

  
  



	13. Undertow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's time for Chain of Command! Now, the time frame for the first 10 minutes of the episode is kind of absurd as presented-- somehow Picard, Crusher, and Worf have been practicing their maneuvers already, with the implication that they’ve already been fully briefed, outfitted with their tactical gear, and given an objective that they’ve already practiced a few times by the scene we see, all since the first meeting with the Vice-Admiral. It appears as if the meeting between Data, Riker, Troi, and Nechayev happens after her arrival, and then the transfer of command takes place at 1300 hours, which is 1 PM, and it’s implied to be the same day. Also, when Jellico shows up, it sounds like he’s about to take a nap, though I suppose it could be about changing into his official garb? Still, that’s all just… crazy sauce. So this story stretches that timeframe out a bit, since I’m not as constrained as the original writers seemed to be.

###  Chapter Thirteen: Undertow

Will waited in Transporter Room Three to greet the vice-admiral. He hoped that her meeting with the captain would shed some light on why the Enterprise had rendezvoused with the  _ Cairo _ on the edge of Cardassian space.

The Vice-Admiral was a short, blonde woman with a no-nonsense demeanor and a good thirty years on the last short, blonde woman Will had encountered in that particular transporter room. She was not chatty, and Will led her in respectful silence until they reached the captain’s ready room.

She then dismissed him from the conversation in such a brusque manner that once the door had shut behind him, Will headed to his office to see if any of the senior staff were scheduled for extended leave. He expected that would need to be cancelled, and he wanted to be on top of it, for morale purposes. When Starfleet leadership showed up and refused the usual pleasantries, that meant there was a specific mission for the crew of the flagship.

That was when he saw the duty exemptions for Beverly and Worf. They had come in at nearly the same exact time as Vice-Admiral Nechayev had beamed aboard. Beverly was busy that morning with the latest round of infant inoculations, but Worf was on the bridge, so Will went to let him know. At least two of the dates listed would require him to arrange for childcare, as they were overnights. Alexander wasn’t a difficult child, but Worf would likely appreciate as much notice as possible to find the right person to babysit.

“I imagine that there will be a message explaining all of this, but I wanted you to know what I saw from my end,” Will told Worf after explaining what he’d found.

“Thank you, Commander.”

“I don’t know whether you’ve used the ship’s childcare resources overnight before, but if there’s anything I can help you with, let me know,” Will said, his mind already shifting away to the next issue on his mental checklist.

“I have not. However, I think I will ask a friend to care for Alexander. His current teacher seems… overly interested in our well being, to the point of repeatedly asking me to dinner,” Worf said with a deep frown. “At least with Lilly, I know she will not make assumptions about my request, nor will she pester me about ‘finding a mother’ for my son.”

Worf turned away from him to monitor a coded subspace message, but Will couldn’t let the totality of his statements go without comment.

“Hold on,” he told the Klingon. “Firstly, as head of personnel, you should tell me if anyone’s ‘pestering’ rises to the level of harassment. Even if  _ you _ can handle it, someone else might not.”

“Understood,” Worf said.

“Secondly,  _ Lilly?” _

Will was happy with the lack of jealousy in his tone. After all, he was only asking in relation to her precarious position as a historical figure, he reminded himself.

Worf looked over, and Will kept his expression neutral despite the way Worf narrowed his eyes a fraction before responding. “I know you have expressed concern about her exposure to certain people and technology, Commander. If it would ease your mind about our encounters, I could write up a report--”

“No, Worf, that won’t be necessary. I trust you. Forget it,” Will interrupted. He turned and strode away, letting out a deep sigh of frustration after the turbolift doors closed. “Sick Bay,” he ordered, then scrubbed a hand over his face. Will permitted himself to picture Lilly’s face if she found out that he’d collected an incident report for every visit between her and Worf. She’d be furious, probably even more angry than she had been when he’d picked her up on the holodeck. 

When her eyes flashed in anger, she was even more beautiful than usual.

Will was still grinning when he walked into Sick Bay. Beverly was in her office with the door shut when he got there, and when he chimed to come in, she called out for him to wait, and kept the door shut. He typed out a friendly message for her and left, assuming that she was viewing a message about the very thing he’d come to warn her about. As he was leaving Sick Bay, Will was contacted by Data over the comm about a meeting with Vice-Admiral Nechayev in the observation room at the end of Alpha shift.

By the end of  _ that _ meeting, Will had decided he wasn’t Nechayev’s biggest fan, nor did he like the implications of the Enterprise’s new mission. He could appreciate her points, even her assessment of his diplomatic track record (or lack thereof), but the  _ finality _ that he could sense behind her announcements made him incredibly uneasy. This Captain Edward Jellico would come aboard shortly, and first thing in the morning, command of the Enterprise would be passed to him.

A transfer of command was not something that senior crew found out about less than 24 hours before it was enacted, at least not in peacetime. Nechayev’s attitude was one he’d always hated in senior leadership; the ‘incursion’ language was particularly galling. Cardassian forces were mobilizing to attack Federation space, and somehow, instead of relying on Jean-Luc Picard’s expertise in negotiation, he was ‘reassigned’ along with two other members of Starfleet’s  _ flagship, _ and they were to be given an entirely new captain to get used to.

One Will would have to greet in only a few minutes.

8888888888

Will liked Captain Jellico even less than Vice-Admiral Nechayev, after the rushed five minutes of time between beam-in and the man practically scampering onto the turbolift.

Transition from three to four shifts, by the following morning? Not possible, Will thought. Still, he wasn’t about to disobey orders. Instead of heading for his quarters and the time spent relaxing and practicing his instrument that he’d had planned, Will turned back toward his office. He had to look at the crew manifest and start the plan to transition over to four shifts, even if such a change would be more like 72 hours than 12 hours in the making, and that only if they were lucky.

He might be looking at an all-nighter.

8888888888

Lilly’s head was reeling. She was, of course, honored by Worf’s request that she be the one to stay in his quarters to watch over Alexander during the training for and implementation of his upcoming mission. The fact that the first training had been moved up to that night was really soon, though. She’d been  _ present _ for bedtime once, but not in the room, and while she’d gotten out of Worf that his humming was from a particular Klingon opera, that was about the extent of her kid bedtime knowledge.

Worf had needed to leave their impromptu meeting to ‘get fitted,’ something she assumed was not only none of her business, but likely classified information on top of that. She was to pick up Alexander after dinner with a friend that Worf had cleverly engineered at the last minute. She told herself she needed to focus on the fact that she was the friend Worf could turn to in this clear crisis, not her worries about whether she’d be good at it. Being the reliable friend was the kind of person she’d always wanted to be, so now that it was happening, she knew she needed to step up and embrace it. 

Lilly tapped the button to call the turbolift to her deck. When it opened, she saw a tall man wearing a command uniform. He looked a little irritated to have to wait for her, so she hurried on and announced her deck, which seemed to mollify him. She’d seen the ship they had met up with from the windows in her quarters, and as she stood across from the man, she noted that the symbols at his neck denoted that he was a captain. When the doors opened for Deck Seven, he gestured for her to get out first.

“Thank you, captain,” Lilly said.

“Nice catch,” the man said. She turned her head to smile at him and walked to the door to her quarters. As it turned out, this captain’s room was beside hers, and they nodded to each other as they each went inside.

8888888888

Lilly spent the time between her impromptu meeting with Worf and picking up Alexander from his dinner date learning a Klingon opera to hum, after she’d sent a quick request for access to Data.

Alexander was  _ delighted. _

8888888888

She woke up on the couch to an insistent sound from her PADD. Upon picking it up, she saw an urgent video message from Captain Picard. He’d tried to visit her room late the previous night, and then again quite early in the morning, only to query her position and find that she was still at Worf’s quarters.

This woke Lilly all the way, and she sat up, paused the video, and looked over toward where Alexander was sleeping. She could see his small figure still laying where he’d fallen asleep the night before. Before she unpaused the video, she noted Picard’s appearance. He looked very tired, despite it being the morning, and beside him was a folded pile of black clothing. She hit play again.

“I do still need to speak to you about recent developments, some of which you apparently already know about. We had a very early meeting which Mr. Worf attended. I confess I could not conceal my curiosity when he mentioned your whereabouts--”

Lilly paused the video. Picard’s phrasing made her wonder if he were involved in the same mission that Worf clearly was. She glanced at the time on the PADD. 6:23 AM.

“That’s a  _ really _ early meeting, sir,” she told the recording of the captain.

“--and that’s when he explained to me about you assisting him with his son. That’s admirable, and unfortunately necessary. There is a ceremony that will happen in Ten Forward this morning at eight. I’d like you to attend, and though I can’t fully explain  _ why _ at this moment, I need to warn you that it is to replace me temporarily as the captain of the Enterprise.”

In the video, Picard sat forward, empathy and weariness etched across his features.

“I fully believe that this is both necessary and not permanent, but for the purposes of the mission I am involved in, I cannot elaborate. I wish to meet with you to address what I can, particularly your presence on the ship once I have left for the mission. I understand that this is distressing not just to you, but to my fellow Starfleet officers. I hope to see you in Ten Forward at eight. I’ll introduce you to Captain Jellico.” He smiled, real humor lifting the tiredness that had marked his face through the whole video. “And, good morning!”

“Good morning to you, too, Uncle,” Lilly said to the empty room.

“Was that the captain?” Alexander asked. She looked over to see him dressed in his pajamas hovering by the doorway to the living room area.

“Yes it was,” Lilly told him.

“I do not remember you telling me he’s your uncle,” he said, walking in to stand beside the chair Worf clearly sat in most often. 

Lilly did  _ not _ say, ‘that’s because I don’t like lying to small children,’ but instead, she said, “The captain is a private person.”

Now Alexander smiled. “Me, too.”

Lilly helped him get dressed and walked him to school, where his fellow classmates were all getting started on breakfast. She wasn’t able to say with any certainty that Worf would be picking him up at the usual time, something which seemed to greatly irritate the pretty young woman who was in charge.

From the preschool Lilly went straight back to her quarters to change for the ceremony Picard had told her about. It sounded rather serious, so she chose an understated dress that looked a shade fancier than ‘business casual.’ It was black with deep red accents, and the one time she’d worn it already, Deanna had joked that Lilly could be mistaken for an ensign on the Enterprise B. A bit of research had told Lilly that it was a joke about sexier uniforms from Starfleet a century or so ago.

After trying to get her hair into a respectable chignon and failing, she brushed it and decided she’d clip half of it up. She’d spent the day after the Wrinekki ceremonies at the clothes and accessories replicator picking out things to try to make herself feel better, and now as she looked through her tray of hair clips, Lilly picked up the brassy trombone clip and just held it in her hand for a little while.

“Fuck it,” she said, and clipped it into her hair.

She left the red high heels in her closet and chose flat sandals instead. On her way out the door, Lilly checked for any new messages and noted that it had been about four days since she’d recorded one for Arnokk. Whatever clout Riker had with the Betazoid people, he’d called it in, or so Picard had told her. They’d been delighted to assist a fellow empathic race in navigating the politics of the Federation, and they were also grateful to both Riker and Picard for helping make it so. Given the dejected way Lilly had bid farewell to the ambassador, she hoped that her message had made up for it at least a little.

Lilly left her quarters wishing that her knee-length pencil skirt was a shin-length pencil skirt. She was trying to decide whether to turn around and go back in when the door she was passing on the way to the turbolift opened and the man she’d met the day before walked out. On first glance, he looked like he was wearing a command uniform, like before, but when Lilly stopped to greet him, she saw that it was actually much longer, almost a dress.

“Good morning, captain,” Lilly said to him.

“Oh. Good morning,” the man said. Then, with an apologetic smile, he nodded at her and power walked to the turbolift. Since Lilly didn’t want to make him wait for her there, as he was obviously in a hurry, she turned to the wall and tapped for a console to check the time. There was just enough time to change, so she jogged back to her quarters and chose an attractive grey top with a scoop neck and a black skirt with a grey gradient traveling down from the waist to the (much more comfortable for her) past the knee hemline.

Then it was Lilly’s turn to power walk to the turbolift.

8888888888

Will stood at the temporary podium he’d installed in Ten Forward and listened to the two captains make small talk as he looked around at the rest of the assembled crew. Everyone looked uneasy, and Will wished he could reassure them, but he was every bit as uncomfortable as they were. Something about the heavy-handed way both of their guests from the  _ Cairo _ had treated him made Will feel like there was more upheaval to come.

People were still trickling in through the double doors, and Will looked over just in time to catch Lilly’s arrival. Seeing her made his breath catch, as if, just as Deanna had warned him, he’d been keeping back all of the feelings he had for her so that they could all surface right in that moment. She looked beautiful, and her eyes lit up as she walked over to stand with Deanna and Worf.

He wasn’t about to read a telepathic ‘I told you so’ from Deanna Troi, so Will called the room to order, as it had just turned 8:00.

As much as he hated to hear the orders Picard was reading, Will did appreciate the way the captain had phrased them. He said he had been ordered to give up his command, and it was clear to everyone in the room that this was not voluntary, whether or not it was permanent. 

“I relieve you, sir,” Jellico said, reaching out with his hand to shake Picard’s.

“I stand relieved,” Captain Picard said dryly, taking it. They shook, and then Captain Jellico turned toward the assembled crew and guests.

“Dismissed,” he said, immediately turning his back on them to confer with Picard.

Will couldn’t miss the confusion, shock, and wry comments that filtered through the room. Whatever the reason for Jellico’s perfunctory manner, it wasn’t well received at all, and that didn’t bode well from Will’s perspective. He scanned the room, unsure of what or who he was really looking for until he saw that Lilly stood in a cluster of Starfleet uniforms. Beverly, Deanna, and Worf all looked unhappy, and they seemed to be reassuring Lilly.

Had Picard not been able to explain anything to her yet?

Will tried not to focus on Lilly, but his gaze kept coming back to her as he looked around. Finally he decided to walk over to talk to someone instead of staring at Lilly so much, but as he glanced over at her while walking away, he saw her set her jaw and start to walk over to Picard, who was still deep in conversation with Jellico.

Geordi was worried about how temporary the changeover was, and Will didn’t hold back in expressing his own concerns. That conversation didn’t last long, and despite himself, he looked back over to where Lilly was clearly being introduced to the new captain. Everyone had genuine smiles on their faces, and Will started over in that direction, intensely curious. Jellico seemed all surface politeness, with a deep sense of superiority combined with a glad-handing authority that set Will’s teeth on edge. He would never have expected the man to be charmed by meeting his predecessor’s relative, even if she was beautiful.

“Will?” It was Jellico, calling him over. He tugged at his uniform and headed over.

“--did change, but you can’t tell me you weren’t also wishing you could! They’re ‘dress’ uniforms in more than once sense, it seems to me,” Lilly was saying.

“Well you looked very nice then, as now,” Jellico complimented her. “Ahh, Will! I believe we’re going to arrive at the Cardassian border during Delta shift,” he started to say. Immediately, Will became incredibly uncomfortable, and while he heard and noted in his head the orders he was receiving, he was really thinking about what he was about to say in response to the man’s assumption that it was so very easy to change from three to four shifts on a ship like the Enterprise.

He was very aware, during the following tense conversation with Jellico, how very important the two other observers were to him, as they stood by and watched. Will tried to explain in very few words (since Jellico didn’t seem inclined to wait very long for explanations) what he’d managed to accomplish the night before. He didn’t bother to tell the man that he’d stayed up half-way through the third shift trying to come up with both a temporary and then permanent roster in such a short time. He didn’t say how absurd he thought expecting the changeover to happen overnight was, much less in  _ two hours. _ He  _ did _ say that he’d spoken with the department heads and everyone was concerned about the impact of such a change.

“I just want you to get it done. That will mean that Delta shift will be on duty when we need to launch the probe in two hours. Is that clear?” Jellico asked, his gaze icy.

“Yes, sir,” Will said, as stone faced as he possibly could be, under the circumstances. Inside, his blood was boiling.

“Now that is something that has always fascinated me about command structure,” Lilly said as if they’d simply been talking about the weather.

Will wanted to take her hand and pull her away before the calm ruthlessness of the new captain of the Enterprise crushed her naivete, but he didn’t have any political capital left in the situation. He saw Picard’s turn toward her, as if ready to do the same.

“And what is that?” Jellico asked, testy but still on the polite end of the knife’s edge.

“Well, take this situation here. Three shifts, and a need for a fourth as soon as possible. The easiest way to go about that would be, of course, to take the most well-rested personnel and reassign them to the fourth shift, either en masse as a temporary measure as the changeover is worked out, or as a brutal matter of course,” Lilly said. 

Her body’s stance changed from that of an easygoing party guest to a combatant as she spoke, and to Will’s astonishment, she moved slightly in front of  _ him, _ as if she were refocusing Jellico’s attention and anger in her direction. 

“But, that’s unacceptable, as anyone could see, because that would severely deplete  _ Alpha _ shift when the most senior and important crew members are on duty. So instead, whoever is in charge of scheduling would need to choose a scattering of people from all three shifts for the new one, but again, that’s problematic, as I’m sure you know,” she said, smiling guilelessly up at Jellico. The man’s jaw was set behind the thin smile he was displaying.

_ ‘She is standing up to Jellico in my defense!’ _ Will said to himself. Not only that, but she was using her position as an outsider to school a  _ captain _ on the logistics of personnel handling. He shared a look with Picard, but Lilly wasn’t finished.

“So in the midst of the chaos, with potentially over fifty percent of the crew of the ship at best concerned and at worst unhappy about the proposed changes, you’ve given guidance on who you need to be the most rested, where the priority is, right? Perhaps that part of the crew can transition to Delta shift first, with a cascade of changes for morale afterwards!” she pointed out, grinning at Jellico as if he’d come up with the solution himself. “It might even make them feel proud to go first. After all, the Enterprise is a very  _ large _ ship.”

“Err…” Jellico said, seemingly speechless.

“Well put,” Picard said tersely, turning to walk away. Will had the distinct impression he was talking to his fellow captain, not Lilly.

“Excuse me sir,” Will said to Jellico, risking regaining his attention to lay a heavy hand on Lilly’s shoulder. “Can I speak to you, please?” he asked Lilly.

She looked at him like he had smeared engine oil on her. “No,” Lilly said with real venom in her voice. Then to Jellico, who was still looking at her in stunned silence, “Forgive me. Commander Riker and I don’t get along very well. I’ll see you in the hallway, I’m sure!”

With that cryptic statement, she turned and walked away as if Will’s hand simply hadn’t even been there.

There was a long stretch of profoundly uncomfortable silence.

“Sir, I  _ assure you--” _ Will started.

“No, no. I believe you,” Jellico said. He sounded shell shocked. “Rolling transition, then. Make it happen.”

With that, Jellico left.

Will didn’t know what to think or how to feel. What he’d just witnessed was an expert manipulation of a highly intelligent man in command of one of the most powerful ships in the fleet. Her logical takedown had been delivered with sweet innocence in a way he would never have believed could have been well received.

“I think I’m going to have to have that particular conversation preserved for my personal collection,” Picard said from behind him.

“You and me both,” Will confessed.

“I still can’t tell if that was for your benefit or not,” the captain said under his breath.

It was, Will knew. And it was as bittersweet as she was-- a gift he couldn’t acknowledge, offered in sweetness and rejected with gall.

8888888888

Lilly was reading through the things Data had sent her about Klingon child rearing techniques (he’d clearly read through them all before sending them along, because he’d left notes exhorting her to avoid trying certain things due to ‘the limitations of human physiology,’ which were both hilarious and horrifying) when her door chimed.

It was Captain Picard.

“Hi! Come on in, have a seat,” she called out, struggling to get up herself. She had many books scattered on and around her, some related to Alexander, others simply of interest. She’d been trying to distract herself from being extremely insubordinate to the surprise new captain.

“No no, stay there,” he said, walking over and sitting beside her. He picked up one of the volumes. “The complete Grimm’s Fairy Tales?” he asked, reading the title.

“Some of them are pretty grim. I was hoping Alexander would like them,” she explained.

“Ahh, yes. You’ve been conscripted as well, then.” He sat back and, if she was right about reading his expression, waited for her reaction.

“I’m not angry, I won’t freak out at you. I’m mostly concerned, and a little scared,” Lilly said.

“I can’t tell you much, unfortunately. Suffice to say that there’s a mission I’ve been asked to do along with Worf and Beverly, we can’t talk about it, and the command change has more to do with the Enterprise being the flagship than anything else.”

“Appearances. I imagine there’s a very big difference between a powerful captain with a ship full of crew firmly behind him than there is a ship with an acting captain and an ambassador? Despite the very obvious morale issues that are happening right now,” Lilly asked. She’d heard talk in Ten Forward about ‘Cardassian space,’ and assumed by their tone that whoever ‘Cardassians’ were, they probably weren’t friendly.

“Exactly,” Picard said, nodding in clear approval. “Now, our mission is considered quite dangerous, but I do not intend for this transition to be permanent, and neither, I assume, does the crew of the  _ Cairo, _ who are at this moment without their captain. Edward Jellico is well respected, and they would have had him transition his command codes there as well, if it were.”

Now it was Lilly’s turn to smile. “That’s encouraging, thank you.”

“That’s the good news,” Picard said. He shook his head and winced, his tone of voice dipping into a low, regretful register. “The bad news is I have no time frame for this, and I agree that morale is going to be an issue. My biggest concern was that Captain Jellico might request that you be transferred to the  _ Cairo _ out of nothing other than the fact that I will no longer be on the ship during my mission.”

“That wasn’t an issue when you were on shore leave,” Lilly pointed out. She started to stack the books that she’d been looking at before Picard came in, suddenly hating the closed-in feeling they gave her.

“This ship is headed into a dangerous situation--”

“Worf hasn’t told me anything about a requirement for Alexander to leave,” Lilly argued.

“You’re right.” Picard sat up, scooting to the edge of the couch and turning his body fully in her direction. “No matter what happens, I want you to promise me that you will not reveal any details about yourself to Jellico.”

A frisson of fear shot through her. Picard’s oblique language was clearly him waving a red flag.

“Command codes like that for the ship captain come with broad permissions to do various things, don’t they? Does that include surveillance of private rooms?” she asked in a near whisper.

_ “Yes,” _ Picard said, his voice urgent.

“I understand.”

“I knew you would. It isn’t so much a matter of personal danger as the danger of too much information,” the captain said, letting out a deep breath. “I do think you should think about some contingency plans should there be a push for you to leave the Enterprise.”

“I thought about that, actually,” Lilly said. She’d spent the first twenty minutes after entering her quarters  _ convinced _ that her choice to defend Riker had put a target on her back. The easiest way to punish her would be to leave her on an outpost somewhere, and the deliberate limiting of her exposure to 24th century knowledge would be a profound drawback, in that case.

“I’m not surprised. What did you come up with?”

Lilly grinned. “I’d ask Data to marry me. Only if it wouldn't put him in danger of having his ‘personhood’ challenged, of course, but I thought it might buy me time. They can’t argue there’s no feelings involved when there  _ can’t _ be, after all.”

Without looking at his reaction, she stood up and walked the heavy stack of books to her newly installed bookshelf. Behind her, Lilly heard Picard stand and walk over, and something told her exactly what he was going to say before he said it.

“I would have thought you’d pick--”

Lilly whirled around and interrupted Picard before he could say the name. “Just because there’s been a few  _ confidential _ times when he and I have had to pretend to be married doesn’t mean we should do it  _ again!” _

“I was going to say Lieutenant Worf, not Commander Riker,” Picard said with gentle censure nearly completely ruined by the amusement she could see in his eyes. “After all, you are the one he chose to care for his son.”

“You are completely full of shit, you know that?” Lilly said, jabbing her pointer finger at him before going back to the couch for a second, smaller load of books.

“You’re right, I am. Besides, it’s clear that Captain Jellico doesn’t much like Will, so allying yourself more obviously with him would only hurt you. That was quite a risk you took, you know,” the captain said, grinning. “You said that whole speech with a brass trombone in your hair! I don’t think either of them noticed.”

“Oh wow, I forgot I had that in there,” Lilly said, reaching up to trace her fingers over it. “I didn’t mean to be so  _ rude, _ but I couldn’t stand the whole ‘get it done now, whether or not it’s impossible, no matter who will be hurt’ nonsense.”

“I expect there will be more of that. Please be careful?”

Lilly nodded. They were standing only a few feet from each other, and she reached out her hand to shake his. Picard walked towards her, ignoring her hand in favor of placing two gentle hands on her shoulders.

“I’m honored to have met you. I fully intend to return, but if I do not, I encourage you to find a way to stay connected with the friends you’ve made here. They are the people most equipped to keep you safe, but if there comes a time when your life is seriously threatened, call out for the one who brought you here. His name is the seventeenth letter of the alphabet, and he’s part of what he describes as a ‘Continuum.’”

“I will,” Lilly said, quite afraid thanks to the seriousness in Picard’s voice.

“Promise me.”

“I promise,” she said, reaching one hand up to squeeze his hand on her shoulder.

“Thank you. I shall try to get Mr. Worf back to his son shortly after dinner, today,” the captain said, all steely pronouncements completed.

“Tell him he is more than welcome to come back at all hours at night. If he’s uncomfortable with sleeping in his own bed with me on the couch, I can simply walk the one deck to my quarters. He needs good rest, and he’s ducking me every time I try to say that to him!” Lilly said, following Picard to the door.

“I will.”

As soon as the door closed, Lilly reached up to touch the trombone clip again. It had been good to see Riker, even if she had told herself she wasn’t allowed to think about him once he was out of her sight again. She’d meant to stay away from him, but when the new captain practically berated him in her presence, her indignation had reared its head.

What she really needed was advice, but she didn’t want to ask Beverly (too delighted about the details, much too romantic to give serious advice, Lilly told herself), Deanna (as much as she loved the empathic counselor, she was Riker’s  _ ex, _ and that was just too embarrassing), or… anyone else, really.

An image of Worf popped up in her head, just as it had the last time she was trying to think about who to talk to. This time, he didn’t seem anywhere near as ridiculous a person to ask advice from as last time, especially not since, if he were really going on a secret mission with Picard, he wouldn’t be around to tease her or be awkward around for a while.

She would need to ask him about how long he would be gone, anyway!

Lilly went to change out of her dressy outfit. When she was back in her typical black pants and pretty blouse, she looked at herself in the mirror. She reached up to take the trombone clip off, but something made her pause. Somehow, removing it felt symbolic, and she just couldn’t do it. Lilly tipped her head to the side. The color of the trombone was definitely different from the blonde of her hair, but it did blend in a little bit. It wasn’t completely camouflaged, but it was hidden enough that she didn’t think it would be obvious to everyone who saw it. 

Even though she knew she was supposed to be working hard to get over her feelings for Riker, Lilly wanted to keep this small little symbol of resistance. It had been really hard to look at him contemptuously and refuse to listen to him, but in that moment, she’d known that if she’d behaved as if the two of them were a team, that would have been bad for Will.

Lilly gasped. She’d called him  _ Will _ , in her mind. She  _ liked _ it.

Riker…  _ Will _ was right. She hated taking orders. Even from herself.


	14. Turbulence

###  Chapter Fourteen: Turbulence

Will was in his office, deep in schedules and combat drill assignments when he was called to Jellico’s Ready Room. It was early evening, and his entire day had consisted of scheduling, taking orders, and putting out all the personnel fires that had been, in his opinion, carelessly lit by his new commanding officer. Will already planned to try to drop by Picard’s quarters to speak with him about the unreasonable expectations that Jellico was asking them to meet.

At least the aquarium he’d removed from the ready room was safe here. Seeing it next to his desk made Will equal parts happy and indignant. Jellico shouldn’t be making permanent changes, not on that level.

As he boarded the turbolift, Will genuinely wondered whether the new captain had a new set of three day assignments he’d ask them to take twelve hours to accomplish.

When he walked past Deanna on the bridge, he let his mind reach out. Hers responded, seeming both wounded and sad, making him determined to visit her later.

“Come!” Jellico called out energetically, when Will tapped the chime. “Some good progress already,” he said, shuffling between two PADDs on his desk. “I saw Alpha shift’s assignments for their drill.”

“Ahh.” Will managed.

“Take a seat. I wanted to ask you something.”

Will sat, trying to keep a neutral facial expression. He couldn’t get a feel for this man, and it had been difficult enough to manage his expectations in the past day and a half. Every time he thought he had his hands full with work enough for the next week, due of course the next day, he was given another assignment. Will clasped his hands in his lap as calmly as he knew how and waited for the next bombshell.

“I want you to tell me what you know about Picard’s niece,” Jellico said.

Will blinked at him. “I’m sorry?”

The captain made a dismissive gesture at one of the tablets on his desk. “Her file is locked down to an absurd degree, even her medical history, and what little that is accessible is woefully inadequate. I have no intention of requesting records via subspace message while in Cardassian space, so I’m asking you.”

Will kept his breathing steady. “What do you want to know?” he asked.

“Where did she come from? When? What possible purpose would anyone have in making her files private?” Jellico demanded, his frustration evident.

Will felt a moment of clarity. He suspected that the man across from him did mean well, as the totality of the changes he was expecting from the Enterprise’s crew demonstrated. He was trying to prepare them for the worst. It was possible that Jellico had chosen Lilly’s file as a way to relax and catch up with the unexpected developments in a fellow captain’s life. Instead, he was met with another delay, with some unknown situation essentially flouting his authority.

With that in mind, Will answered as best he could, and mentally thanked Picard for having hashed out a skeleton background for her and handing it to Will, Beverly, and Deanna.

“Sir, from what I understand, Captain Picard’s brother Robert had a brief relationship with a woman from the States roughly twenty-seven years ago. She did not inform him of the pregnancy, and it was only through a wine rival that he discovered her existence,” he said, trying to remember the few details that Picard had told them he’d used his contacts on Earth to establish. Will forced a smile, knowing it would lend credibility to the disreputable aspects of the story. “According to the captain, this rival of his brother’s caused them so much grief that Robert disavows all knowledge of the man  _ and _ his estranged daughter, even though she was only dragged into it as a form of blackmail. She contacted Picard to warn him that his brother’s competitors were involving family, and he found out she was looking to move off world.”

“So he offered her a place here, then?” Jellico asked. He seemed to be buying it.

“Yes,” Will nodded. “Sir, I think it’s likely that the captain locked down her file to prevent any further damage to his family’s business.”

“Including her  _ medical records? _ I find that unlikely,” the captain snorted. “A woman appears out of nowhere within three months of a Cardassian incursion into our space, no one really knows where she’s come from, and suddenly she’s buddy buddy with many of the senior crew members of a galaxy class starship?”

Will clenched his jaw. If this man was planning to kick up a fuss about Lilly, he didn’t know what he had in his arsenal to fight against that. “I was at the staff meeting when Dr. Crusher confirmed the DNA relationship. In fact--” he broke off. The taboo against speaking about her true identity was brushing up against his instincts, here. The truth was, Lilly was the spitting image of Picard’s ancestor, mostly because she  _ was _ Picard’s ancestor.

“Don’t stop now, Commander,” Jellico ordered.

“It’s imprecise, but from what I understand,” Will said, pausing again. He sent out a silent apology to Lilly for opening Pandora’s box, and continued. “From what I understand, Lilly Picard’s appearance is very similar to one of their family’s ancestors. May I?” he held his hand out for a PADD.

The look of suspicion on Edward Jellico’s face was intimidating as hell, but the man handed it over.

Will hoped that Data had a way to trace inquiries about Lilly, for his own sanity’s sake. He really did not like the idea of this angry, seemingly impossible to please man searching for and finding holofilms of Lilly back at home in the 21st century, acting exactly as she did now. Even with the kind of mundane, plodding imagination that Jellico probably possessed, it would be strange and noteworthy.

It took a few extra seconds for Will to find a picture of Lilly without her husband. He couldn't stop the smile that pushed through all resistance as he saw just how many pictures existed of her wearing a very particular shade of red. It almost felt like a love letter from her to him. He cleared his throat and handed over the PADD with a selection of images from a banquet she’d attended in 2010-- in a  _ blue _ dress.

“That is  _ remarkable,” _ Jellico breathed. He looked over the top of the PADD at Will, lifting it for emphasis as he spoke. “Even with that many generations between, the woman acts like a damned queen.”

Will allowed himself permission to grin. “Yes sir, yes she does.”

“You socialize with her much?”

“No. She was right, we don’t…” Will sighed. “We’re not friendly.”

Now Jellico smiled. “Well, thank you Commander. This eases my mind somewhat. I’d still like to see her medical records. Sometimes they can show patterns of vaccination. I wouldn’t mind ordering a few blood tests, just to rule out any kind of Cardassian interference with her.”

An icy strand of worry sliced through Will’s relief. He stood, hoping his assumption that Jellico was done with him wouldn’t be seen as too presumptuous. “Well, sir, I wouldn’t dream of asking you about Dr. Crusher’s availability this week.”

“No, I suppose not. Thank you Commander, that’ll be all.”

Will wished he had the ability to tell the computer to wipe all images of Elizabeth Windsor from Captain Edward Jellico’s tablet. 

“I might as well get myself a feathered helmet and a lance, at this point,” he muttered as he walked back through the bridge to the turbolift.

“Sir?” Data asked.

“Queensguard!” Will said jovially.

“If you say so, sir.”

8888888888

The day after her ‘uncle’ was relieved of his command of the Enterprise, Lilly settled into her couch to read a lovely long message from Arnokk after dinner. 

Arnokk’s letter had some personal details (his oldest daughter had a child on the way), public details (the king of Wrinekk Prime had been found to be having a secret relationship with one of his aides), and then secret details (Arnokk and his king had been contacted by Betazoid advocates who were tasked with aiding their application process to become members of the Federation, instead of simply loose trading partners). The latter was all he could share over even an encrypted message, and Lilly made a note in her pocket notebook that she should reassure him that she didn’t expect any more details. She was just pleased to have been able to help in the first place.

Arnokk’s writing style turned out to be far more gossipy than he was on the ship, possibly because he was without the constant mental feedback that he received from others in person. Halfway through the message, he addressed her questions from her initial message to him, where she’d asked if Riker’s hypothesis about the orb merge being unaffected by emotions was correct. To her complete surprise, Arnokk included a graph that he explained would show that, while the orbs were designed to easily merge in proximity, they were designed as hypersensitive monitors for certain pheromones that were released in combination with each other.

Arnokk argued that, despite the fact that Wrinekki physiology differed from humans, the mechanisms for attraction and attachment were the same, and could be recognized in the ritual. However, he couldn’t say for certain whether the orbs used for that ceremony were ones that had been attuned to the pheromones or not. The process for creating them was a closely guarded secret, and questioning that process would be questioning the validity of the ritual itself.

His last paragraph contained a bombshell. Lilly was already on edge after reading about the pheromones, but she’d confessed her feelings to Riker in a bid to explain why they’d somehow merged in the first place, so  _ that _ wasn’t as big of a surprise to her. Now Arnokk explained that he firmly believed that the orbs  _ were _ activated by emotion. He knew this, he wrote, because of the circumstances through which Riker had offered to perform the ritual in the first place. According to Arnokk, Riker had asked if the ceremony would work one-sided, and once told yes, offered to perform it on the basis of  _ his _ feelings. 

The PADD fell from Lilly’s fingers onto her lap when she read that.

As soon as the rush of surprise and flushed excitement had passed and she was able to really think about it, Riker’s decision to lie to her made perfect sense in the situation. His whole behavior pattern from the beginning towards her had always been about preserving her timeline. Even as she told herself that, though, Lilly felt a strong sense of doubt.

Perhaps Arnokk was trying to foster some sort of relationship between them so that he wasn’t supporting a lie? After he’d sensed her conflict regarding Riker, and then watched them on Wrinekk Prime, maybe Arnokk had decided that he could use his knowledge of what they both felt to play matchmaker? She read over the part about Riker offering to perform the claiming ritual in his letter and noted that at no point did the ambassador claim that he sensed Riker’s feelings the way that he’d clearly sensed hers.

“You’re reading what you want to read, and he’s seeing what he wants to see,” Lilly told herself aloud. “Still, what a rollercoaster!”

She turned the PADD off and tipped her head back to look out at the starfield in the window behind her. The past ten days had been the most lonely since she’d arrived in the future. Lilly sat back up and made another note under the first one: ‘double check with anyone else who was at the meeting with Arnokk??’

If she were honest with herself, Lilly doubted she’d follow through with that note. What good would knowing Riker wasn’t completely unmoved by her do? She was destined to marry another man, after all, a person history had already recorded, a person anyone besides her could look up the name of with a simple voice command. Yet, somehow, that person was meant to be  _ her _ choice! Besides, Arnokk hadn’t told her who was at the meeting, but Lilly was fairly certain she could figure it out-- and at least two of those people were going to be leaving the ship for a secret mission in a few days.

Lilly scratched her pen through the second line on the notebook page. She wished she could go through and scratch out her memory of Arnokk’s letter, too. Will--  _ Riker, _ she admonished herself, determined to teach herself to hate the thrill that speaking his name in her own mind gave her --had made his decision, if he did feel something for her. It was the right decision for both of them, and she was the one being foolish to think otherwise.

“It’s infatuation. It was the dress in the holodeck, from him being half drunk,” she said out loud. “That’s all it was. Superficial, not lasting. I’m saying it out loud because it’s time to stomp this to death. Stomp, stomp!”

Data had told her about the way the replicator could be used to deconstruct objects, that sometimes there was even a ‘garbage can’ version in certain spaces that didn’t have a replicator, like the transporter rooms. Lilly hopped to her feet, meaning to go to her closet and find the dress to destroy it, but the door chimed.

She doubted it was actually Captain Jellico, but just in case it was, she called out that she was coming to open the door. She didn’t want him invading her space and possibly seeing clues that hinted to her being out of place. When she opened the door, Commander Riker was standing there instead. Lilly was so pleased to see him that she yelled at herself in her own head about it, and then she took it out on him by accident.

“Why?” she blurted out, instead of greeting him.

Riker burst out laughing. “I need to tell you something.”

“Can’t you send a message?” she asked plaintively, still standing in the doorway. “Oh, never mind, come in.” The last thing she wanted was for the new captain to come back to his own quarters and see Riker standing there.

“I can just--”

“Quickly!” Lilly slipped out beside him, and before he could fully turn around to look at her, she put both hands flat on his back and pushed him, mostly unresisting, into her quarters.

8888888888

Will hadn’t expected her to actually touch him, much less take charge like that. His treacherous body liked it very much, and when she walked back around him to touch the control panel and shut the door, he clasped his hands casually in front of himself. 

“What’s gotten into you?” he said, before he really thought about how affectionate his voice sounded. Lilly was wearing a dark blue shirt that was one of his favorite shades, and he realized he was probably looking at her approvingly when she blushed after he spoke. He took in a deep breath and tried to slow his breathing, visualizing her as a respected stranger instead of the woman he was in love with.

She looked back at her couch, where he saw a PADD was lying upside down. “Don’t worry about it,” she said. “What do you need?”

“I wanted to warn you about a meeting I just had with our new captain,” Will started to say.

“Wait,” she said, stepping forward with a finger up. He lifted his eyebrows at her urgency, and nodded for her to explain. “My uncle warned me to watch what I talk about, even in private,” she said. She looked like she wanted to elaborate, but didn’t, and he understood immediately.

“This is somewhat related, then,” he said, pausing to think carefully about his phrasing. “The captain seems to think your arrival on board is suspicious timing. He went to look at your medical records, guessing that you might have a pattern of vaccination or treatment that might hint at your prior whereabouts.”

“They’re locked down, I thought?” she said, biting her lip.

“They are. There’s a form to sign to authorize--”

“I understand,” she interrupted, shaking her head. “Thanks for the warning.”

Lilly’s own warning was almost more concerning than his, not that he felt secure to express that. If Picard was worried about what Lilly might say in her own room, that did not bode well. Will looked around the room, wondering if Jellico had placed anything in her quarters that might aid in his investigation.

“This bookcase is new?” he asked her.

“Thanks again for your warning. I am sure you’re anxious to get going,” she said. He shot a look at her. She looked nervous, which had his hackles up. He looked back at the bookcase. “Commander Riker,  _ please,” _ Lilly said, walking over to stand next to him. She didn’t position herself in front of the bookcase, but she looked like she wanted to stop him.

_ “Klingon Child Rearing, _ translation by Borislav Terzinsky. ‘ _ Sto-Vo-Kor,’ the Klingon Opera in English,” _ Will read aloud. He looked at her, incredulous. She was shaking her head again. “Why the hell do you have these?” he demanded. Lilly looked stricken, clearly struggling for words.

He was so disappointed with her that he barely knew what to say. Will looked at her and the shock of his discovery made his vision blur, seeing multiple copies of the one woman in front of him. The woman of the holofilms, inaccessible and brilliant; the woman he’d come to know, equally brilliant, but human and warm and loving; and finally, the politician who had turned her head of state position into one of governance during a crisis, using all her skill to gather information and use it to her own advantage.

“I watched so many of your holofilms, did you know that? I felt like I knew you before I ever met you in the transporter room that day,” he said, the words tumbling out in a rush. “Then I watched your mind work. You have a gift for problem solving, you always have, but to  _ see it in person _ , that was… truly something. History books have a way of distorting a figure into their worst or greatest qualities, and your legacy in particular--” he cut himself off with a clenched fist held to his lips. “What a let down to find out you’re a 21st century human after all,” he said with derision.

Lilly had tears on her cheeks, and she was breathing in painful gasps, her hand pressed against her chest. “Commander,” she started, but he waved her off, looming over her and pointing at the books she knew she wasn’t supposed to have.

“What authorization did you use to get these? When did you have access to a replicator without restrictions?” he asked. Lilly gasped, and all the color went out of her face.

“No,  _ no.  _ It wasn’t like that, you  _ have _ to believe me--”

Will walked away from her before he gave in to his urge to take her by the shoulders and shake her. “You know, I really have to thank you. Seeing your true colors is really helping me see reason, here,” he said, feeling the sting of betrayal rise up like bile in the back of his throat. He turned around and saw that she was pulling books from the shelves and piling them up in her arms. There were five, one of them so thick it threatened to fall. In her mouth she had a rectangle of paper that looked like it had come from the notebook they’d written on when they’d tricked the Ferengi.

Lilly walked over to him and thrust the five books out for him. When he took them, she pulled the sheet of paper from between her lips and slammed it down so hard on top of the books that he nearly dropped the lot.

“I’m sorry if I got it wet. It’s the record of when I got the books so I could give them back to Data. I told him I would borrow the books like a library. It has the dates, too,” she said. In an angry gesture, she wiped her face with her left sleeve.

Will looked down at the paper. It was detailed, each entry written in an even hand. She couldn’t have done it in the mere minute since he’d yelled at her; even if she’d had time, he could see the way her hands were shaking. Something looked off about the dates, and he frowned, looking more closely.

“I dated it like I’d never left,” she said. “The first one is 5-29-2406. It’s a joke between myself and Data. I wouldn’t let him tell me what the stardate was, because that was definitely information I shouldn’t have, so I just turned 2006 into 2406 for the twenty-fourth century.”

The bleak tone in her voice twisted his feeling of betrayal into something else, something full of self-condemnation. He took in a breath to respond to her.

“Don’t,” she said, her eyes stony. Then, she sighed. “Just… ask Data, okay? And I’m so sorry to disappoint you, Will.”

With quiet dignity, Lilly walked away from him toward her bedroom. She paused in the doorway and reached out with her left hand toward the control panel, and without looking back, she triggered the door to slide shut.

He couldn’t move at first. He felt heavily weighed down by the enormity of the argument they’d just had, including what he’d almost confessed to her and her coldly furious refutation of his unspoken accusations.

The thing that finally got Will moving was hearing the unmistakable sounds of crying from the other room.

8888888888

Lilly had wanted to let herself cry all night. It had hurt when she’d seen the red hot fury in Riker’s eyes after seeing the books on Klingon life. What had really ripped her up inside, though, was the honesty in his voice when he stated that he was glad she hadn’t turned out to be the person he thought she was. Everything about his attitude spoke of a deep respect for her that had been destroyed by this transgression.

She’d had no chance to argue that the books were recommendations from Picard, having been skimmed and altered for content by Data. She couldn’t argue that Worf had asked her to watch his son and she refused to let him down. All she could do was give him the books and her makeshift ‘receipt’ for them and hope that he would take the time to speak to Data as she’d asked him to.

Her promise to herself the day of the ceremony had been that she would let herself cry like she’d lost someone only once. Lilly laughed at the way she’d thought that day was as painful as her heartache would get. Not being loved back was  _ nothing _ compared to the way he’d looked at her just now. Even as she thought those things, though, she rejected them. It wasn’t because he didn’t love her that she’d been so heartbroken. It was because she knew there was no future in loving him, and yet she couldn’t imagine finding someone to love whom she could respect anywhere near as much. The stories Worf, Beverly, Data, and Deanna had told her about serving with Riker had lifted him up in her mind on a pedestal that hadn’t been knocked over today.

Lilly settled down to read a book from her own time period, on  _ human _ children, namely those with traumatic childhoods. Alexander’s early life before living with Worf had been chaotic, as far as she knew from the sparse comments his father had made about it, and that was better than nothing. 

8888888888

Will reverted to autopilot without really thinking about it, and when he walked into Jean-Luc Picard’s quarters with Lilly’s purloined books under his arm and found the man looking thoroughly exhausted, his train of thought completely derailed.

“Are you all right, sir?” he asked.

Picard explained that he was, and that he just wasn’t used to that level of physical training. Then, he narrowed his eyes at Will and asked a question of his own.

“Are  _ you _ all right, Number One?”

Will wanted to answer no. Wanted to answer that he felt the need to advocate for his crew but was stymied by Jellico’s lack of trust for him. That he had just lashed out at the woman he cared for in a way that might prove to be unfair. That he wasn’t sure whether she’d lied to make him change his original assumptions, and he felt utterly betrayed by both her actions and his reactions to them. That he was starting to doubt his ability to keep either the crew  _ or _ Lilly safe from themselves or their new captain.

That now was the absolute worst time for Picard to lead a mission somewhere other than here on the Enterprise where his leadership was needed.

“Just dealing with the natural adjustments, sir,” Will said. “I’ll figure it out.”

He left without a backward glance, knowing Picard would call out to him if he showed any hesitation. Instead of heading back to his own quarters, Will went to Data’s.

8888888888

_ “Worf to Lilly Picard?” _

It was still early in the morning, though not as early as Picard’s message had been that one morning. She wasn’t asleep, but she wasn’t fully ‘herself,’ either. All night she’d tossed and turned, and now that it was daytime, she felt just as tired and worn down as she had the night before.

“Shit, I’m a  _ mess, _ ” Lilly said to herself, flailing around for the nearest comm to tap. “Lilly here?” she said, once she’d found one.

_ “Will you meet me in my quarters in a half hour? I must make preparations for my trip regarding Alexander.” _

“Of course,” Lilly replied. “See you then, Lilly out.”

She gave herself fifteen minutes to gather herself back together and fifteen minutes to freshen up enough that she didn’t look like she’d been crying for the previous fifteen minutes. 

She ended up changing her shirt, as the cuffs of her sleeves were soaked from sopping up her tears. School was already in session when she arrived, so she told Worf to tell Alexander she was sorry she missed him.

“The mission is more dangerous than I originally believed,” he told her. “I wish to finalize plans for him if I should not return.”

“That’s wise,” she said, pulling out one of the chairs at the table. Worf turned toward her quickly, but nodded at her choice and set a PADD in front of her. Then, he leaned over to show her what he’d come up with.

“I am asking you if you would accompany Alexander to live with my parents, if I don’t return.”

“Absolutely,” she said. She didn’t have to think about her answer at all.

“Thank you,” he said, and she heard how grateful he was in the softening of his tone of voice. “My previous plans relied a good deal on Captain Picard’s influence, but he will be with me. I am aware that this is a rapid escalation of our friendship, but my son has taken to you in a way that is unlike his other caregivers.”

“I think a lot of humans who work with kids are disconcerted by serious children,” Lilly said. “I saw that in my school with some coworkers.”

Worf made a short, gruff noise. “That would explain a great deal.” He pulled out a second chair, felt the seat for a second, and then sat on it. “I will move my things from the bed, so that you may sleep there while I am gone.” He took the PADD from her and started tapping on it to find the next place where she needed to sign her name for the Starfleet forms.

“That’s very kind but please don’t,” Lilly said. “I don’t want to give Alexander any kind of impression that I’m replacing you, especially if he knows it’s only supposed to be for a few days. If something happens and you don’t return, he could see it as my having foreknowledge and keeping it from him. That would damage his trust at a really bad time.” She reached out and squeezed Worf’s hand. “I’m happy to sleep on the couch as long as the two of you need my help.”

“You make a good argument. I will leave my room as it is.”

There was a noise over by the room in question. “The stain came out easily, no harm done,” Riker said, walking over to the table. He wasn’t in his uniform, but in khaki colored trousers, one knee of which was damp.

Worf stood. “I again apologize, Commander. My son knows better than to conceal spills.”

“I’m just grateful I knelt instead of  _ sat,” _ Riker said, grinning at him. The smile faded when he saw her.

Lilly looked away. His smile, something she now admitted she craved the sight of, was painful to look at anyway, now that she knew he now thought so poorly of her. Even the fact that he was smart enough to make the connection between this meeting and her books on Klingon society and children wasn’t enough to ease the ache.

“Thank you both for taking the time,” Worf said, showing Lilly the third place to sign.

“I hope it’ll turn out to be unnecessary,” Riker said. He hadn’t moved closer to the table than where he was when he’d seen Lilly seated there.

“I went to Counselor Troi first, but she said that without Captain Picard in charge, you have the most pull with the Empire,” Worf said, walking over to hand the PADD to Riker for his signature.

Lilly looked over in surprise. Riker didn’t look like what Worf had said was in any way inaccurate, which piqued her curiosity. “That makes sense,” he said.

“It will be good for Alexander to have adults who respect each other to stand as his guardians until he is reunited with my parents,” Worf said.

Lilly winced, looking down at the table. “Worf,” she started, but Riker interrupted in a firm, decisive tone.

“I would be honored, thank you.” There was silence between the two men for the next minute, and then Riker spoke again. “If that’s all, I need to get going.”

“It is, thank you Commander.”

Lilly hadn’t looked up from the table when Riker reassured Worf, and she didn’t know if by some chance he’d changed his mind or if he’d simply said he’d be honored so he wouldn’t worry Worf right before a dangerous mission. Now, as she kept her gaze downcast, she saw in her peripheral vision legs clad in khaki walk over and pause on the other side of the table.

Knowing he could see her face, even though she couldn’t see his, Lilly shut her eyes.

Twenty-six seconds later, she heard the door open and close.

“You and Commander Riker are in conflict,” Worf said.

“You could say that, yes,” Lilly agreed.

“Many days ago, you spoke of needing advice.”

Lilly looked over at him. Worf didn’t have Beverly’s impish glint in his eyes. He wasn’t asking because he had a bead on her internal conflict, like Deanna or Arnokk. He probably wouldn’t find an overarching theme to discuss after their conversation, as Picard sometimes did.

“I don’t know, Worf. This is even more of a teenage drama kind of question than it was when I asked the first time,” she sighed. He came over and pulled out a chair. “Not that one!” she said, and then it was Worf’s turn to sigh before he walked around the table to choose a different chair. “Don’t you have, I don’t know, a space vacuum or something?” she asked.

“I enjoy the way your comments sometimes reference your unique experiences, and other times they are a result of exaggeration,” Worf told her with a smile.

“You totally don’t know whether I think a space vacuum’s a real thing, do you?” Lilly asked, laughing now. 

Worf smiled. “I do not.”

“All right, well, let’s see what your replicator has in its memory banks then, shall we? If I’m going to get in trouble for even having access to it, I might as well take advantage,” she said, blinking quickly to clear away the tears that decided to threaten.

Any other person she knew in this century would have pushed her to explain, except maybe Data, but Worf simply waited. After trying a few combinations of commands, Lilly ended up with a handheld wet/dry vac and was able to successfully siphon away some of the bright red juice that had soaked into the chair. As she did this, she also explained her dilemma to Worf.

“It’s not like I think I can actually  _ have _ a relationship here on the ship, or anything,” Lilly said, lining up the vacuum for another pass. “But I’m not sure whether it is safer for me to hold onto my unrequited feelings for this person, or push myself to get over them and risk forming feelings for someone else!” She looked over to see that Worf was frowning. “It’s not you,” she said, quickly.

“Respectfully, I am relieved,” he said, still frowning. 

“But that’s just the thing. I value our friendship, and you are definitely lovable. If I kick the feelings I already have, what am I risking?” She turned off the vacuum, having thoroughly gone over every inch of the chair. Lilly pressed the back of her fingers against the fabric and found that it was nearly dry. She set the vacuum she’d replicated on the floor beside the chair and sat down, which was apparently the last thing Worf expected her to do. When she had positioned herself to sit, he’d reached out to stop her, and now he looked like he was waiting for her to get back up with wet pants.

“I stand behind my work, my friend,” she said, wiggling in the chair to prove it wasn’t still gross. “What’s that book quote I always liked? ‘He who passes the sentence should swing the sword?’ Overkill when it’s talking about juice, but…”

“A good maxim,” Worf said approvingly. “Your question is whether I would advise you to swing the sword on your existing feelings, or hold onto them?” He leaned forward as if to catch her full attention. “Instead, you should ask yourself why you specifically seek  _ my _ advice in this.”

Lilly felt a bit stung, but she didn’t want to show it. She tried to sound kind and accommodating instead of upset, as she replied, “I don’t mind asking someone else, if you don’t--”

“No,” Worf said, reaching out his hand. He didn’t touch her, just rested his hand palm down beside where she’d been twisting her fingers together on the table. “That was not a rebuke. You have struggled with this for days, and yet waited to speak to _ me. _ I take from this that you do not wish to hear the kind of advice you would anticipate from others.”

The truth in his words struck her a dizzying blow, and all Lilly could do was nod.

“Duty and honor are important to Klingons, but so is authenticity. Your identity is made up of where you came from, who you are, and who you surround yourself with.” Worf looked her directly in her eyes, and then said, “What makes you fight yourself more: accepting or rejecting how you feel? Examine your answer.  _ That _ is my advice to you. If you would have heard differently from Counselor Troi or Doctor Crusher, then what you needed was affirmation, not advice.”

His eyes were full of sincerity and respect, and Lilly was full of near tearful gratitude for his response. “Thank you,” she whispered.

Worf stood. “Now, I must prepare for another training drill. We will leave on the shuttle later today.”

“I won’t say anything sentimental like ‘you have to come back,’ because I know your behavior won’t change in that regard no matter what I tell you as a goodbye,” Lilly told him. “But, I very much hope you’ll come back.”

“I intend to. Knowing Alexander has strong advocates will bring me fewer distractions,” Worf said, walking her to the door. “Of all of my crewmates, I believe that Commander Riker best understands the intersection of duty, respect, and desire. I do not envy your struggles.” He stood at rigid attention and said in a strong voice,  _ “Qapla’! _ ”

Lilly covered her cheeks with both hands. “Worf! I didn’t say who it was!”

The steady look he gave her in response made her glare at him. 

_ “Qapla’!, _ my friend,” she said, stopping herself from hugging him, but instead bowing her head low, with her back straight. When she turned to leave, though, he reached out and touched her arm.

“Your comment about the replicator,” Worf said, clearly only just remembering it. “Do you wish for me to ask Data to modify ours?”

Lilly sighed. “Honestly, I think your best bet would be to ask Riker, as bitchy as that sounds from my end. If you don’t have time, I can ask Data to pass along a message. I would hate to make things even more difficult for Alexander, though.”

“I can make the time,” Worf said. “Farewell.”

“Farewell,” Lilly said.


	15. Minor Mutiny

###  Chapter Fifteen: Minor Mutiny

Will sat with Deanna through Jellico’s antics with the Cardassian representatives and did his best to hide how uneasy he felt. If the Federation’s plan had been to seem both cocky and unhinged, Jellico’s behavior was perfect. He acted as if he were constantly on the verge of a temper tantrum, relying on Deanna and Will to keep him restrained. On his own ship, this probably worked better, as Will hoped Jellico’s regular crew members knew him well enough to tell the difference between faked temper tantrums and real irritation. He could tell that Deanna was struggling just as much as he was, even with her extra context of sensed emotions.

Will went to Ten Forward for the first time since Wrinekk Prime that evening. Being alone with his thoughts meant either thinking about his concerns over Lilly or the escalating tensions with both Jellico and the Cardassians, and at least Lilly was pretty to look at if he ended up encountering her there.

He ran into Deanna, instead.

They sat and talked at the far window, removed from most of the other patrons. Both of them kept their phrasing oblique, just in case they were overheard.

“At least I can see now why Captain Picard was ‘reassigned,’” Will told her, using the same phrasing that Gul Lemec had.

“I’m not sure you could find a negotiator with a style more diametrically opposed to his than our current captain, that’s for sure,” Deanna said with a faint smile. “It is… disconcerting, at best.”

“Do you get the sense that his leadership style is ramped up for this assignment, or do you think this is typical?” he asked her.

Deanna took a long sip of her milkshake and smiled with just a hint of mischief in her grin. “Yes,” she said, not specifying which answer she favored. With one manicured fingertip, she wiped her lip clean of foam, and then elaborated. “He is both confident  _ and _ concerned. It’s as if he knows exactly what he wants to portray and how, but not how well he’s managed it, and therefore he is not certain of the outcome.” She set down her glass with a bit of extra force, and added, “If he were anyone else, I’d seek to reassure him there. The Cardassians are on edge, uncertain. They see him as a loose cannon, and I think that’s what he wanted. I don’t at all feel comfortable advising him about that, though. I am fairly certain that he would take offense.”

“You and me both,” Will said.

Their conversation shifted to other things, but Deanna didn’t mention Lilly, and he kept his thoughts about her well guarded. After Data had confirmed her explanation about the books, Will knew that what he  _ should _ do was leave things as they were, with her thinking he actively disliked her, now. There was no chance of him being selfish and following Deanna’s tempting advice if Lilly thought he despised her.

That didn’t stop it from  _ hurting _ . 

8888888888

On the first night that Worf was gone, Lilly had a lovely dinner with Alexander and then spent the evening talking to him about what her life was like at home on Earth. It took a bit of roleplaying, pretending to be an ordinary person living in the 20th century, but so much about what her life was like at the same age as Alexander turned out to be fascinating to him that it was worth it.

That morning, Alexander was much more careful with his juice, and Lilly made a note in her pocket notebook about that for Worf’s sake. Her day was relatively boring, as everyone she usually associated with were either quite busy with the orders and changes from Captain Jellico, or they were dealing with the aftermath of those orders, like Deanna.

Or, they were on a mission she shouldn’t really even know about.

8888888888

Day two of negotiations with Gul Lemec was every bit as uncomfortable as the first day had been. Will wasn’t sure he was happy with how well he and Deanna had gotten at deceiving the Cardassians, and he was definitely not pleased with how blithely Jellico ordered them to lie in the course of doing their duty.

That was nothing compared to the stress of finding a heightened number of encrypted messages coming from a border planet, relaying that message promptly to his new captain, and then having his very next order be getting Vice-Admiral Nechayev on a private channel for that captain. Clearly something related to Picard, Worf, and Crusher had happened. 

Will would have negotiated with Gul Lemec, had Jellico not been assigned to the Enterprise. Will would have done it  _ very _ differently, of course, but he would have done it to the very best of his ability. And if he had been in that position, he would have also been in the position to know what the  _ hell _ was going on with his previous (and hopefully future) crew members’ mission.

Not knowing was rough, and he had no access to his regular outlets to recharge, right now. Poker was understandably on hold, most leisure activities like plays and concerts were postponed-- not that most of the performers weren’t too busy to practice, anyway, himself included --and so many people were exhausted or on call that even the crapshoot that was Ten Forward wasn’t really as much of a social spot anymore. The only thing really left was the holodeck. Will associated his jazz club with Lilly and Alaska with Picard, thanks to a memorable ‘bonding’ experience they’d taken part in over a year prior.

The only person who had any time for him was Deanna, and Will wasn’t sure she’d approve of his current trajectory when it came to Lilly, so in the end, he simply went to bed early for once.

8888888888

On night two without Worf, Lilly observed Alexander slipping into his father’s bed. She allowed herself a self-congratulatory pat on the back for having refused to sleep there herself. She resolved to pretend she hadn’t seen him, just in case the boy had hoped to avoid speaking about it.

She did make a note for Worf, though.

8888888888

The only good thing about the last negotiation session with Gul Lemec and his goons was the fact that Will now had something besides obfuscating the truth to do. He was certain the only reason that Jellico had sent him to the planet Picard’s team would escape to was because it got the man a few hours without Will glowering at him.

When Will’s shuttle exited the bay and left the two starships behind, he felt a strong sense of leaving his burdens behind him for the time being. It had been too long since he’d had the chance to pilot a shuttle, and he settled into the routine of it with joyful ease. It wasn’t until he was close to the rendezvous point that he started to tense back up into war mode. The planet that had been chosen as the meet up place was craggy, with hardly any safe places to land except for the actual coordinates he was given. 

The time between landing, shutting off the power, and seeing any movement from the nearby cave felt interminable.

Then, he saw two figures. The tall one was helping the smaller figure walk over. Will sprung into action, jogging over to ask Beverly if he could do what she clearly had told Worf not to do: pick her up and walk with as smooth a motion as possible to the shuttle. Worf was favoring his leg and had a dark, ragged smudge on his tactical vest that he refused to discuss. Beverly was more beat up, and Will did his best with the dermal regenerator despite her protestations. 

Worf told Will that the mission went south very quickly once they came close to the installation they’d been sent to infiltrate. Picard had been at the front and captured so swiftly that Worf and Beverly were still hidden. The odds were so against them that Worf had let himself be persuaded not to attempt the rescue, but both were so demoralized that Will could feel the weight of their regrets almost as strongly as he imagined Deanna would have.

Even after they told him what happened, neither Beverly nor Worf were all that interested in trying to rest, despite their injuries. It was only after Will pointed out how much the phrase ‘all in good time’ was foreign to their temporary captain that he got Beverly to stretch out on the shuttle floor on the air mattress.

“Well?” Will asked, once her breathing shifted into the regularity of sleep.

“It was a trap. No doubt.”

_ “Shit,”  _ Will swore. “There’s only one thing good about that. If they went to that much trouble to get him, they’re going to want to  _ keep _ him for a while.”

8888888888

His instincts about Jellico proved catastrophically correct.

Not only did the man start using the past tense in referring to Picard as soon as he spoke to Worf and Beverly, but any thought of a rescue was categorically denied. Jellico’s paltry attempt at comfort felt like grim satisfaction to Will. The snappy ‘Yes, sir!’ he responded with five seconds too late to be heard wasn’t nearly as satisfying as he wished it could be.

To write Jean-Luc Picard off as lost so quickly, so  _ thoroughly _ after such an obvious and successful kidnapping attempt was infuriating. It was also, in Will’s humble opinion,  _ stupid. _

Which was why, thirty seconds into building himself up into a silent, incandescent rage, Will Riker realized that he was being played as much as Gul Lemec had been during Jellico’s negotiations with him. Edward Jellico’s most consistent behavior pattern was to mistrust the people around him while at the same time directing them to act the same way with him. The captain had allowed Gul Lemec stew in fury for an hour waiting for Jellico’s arrival to negotiate, only to storm out in a pretend rage of his own and tell Will and Deanna to act like Jellico was the unreasonable one.

Will put himself in the position Jellico had clearly intended to put him: the man who needed to be duped, just like Gul Lemec. Trusting Will Riker was not something Edward Jellico would do, that was certain. Knowing that, and knowing that the man’s bizarre negotiation tactics had been somewhat effective, Will tried to figure out what the play was, here. Were he and the others who cared most for Picard meant to mourn him? Will was tempted to see Jellico as inept and vindictive, but was that another smokescreen?

In a burst of frustration, Will swung out his hand and smacked the solid metal of the bulkhead he was passing. The sting wasn’t painful enough for his liking.

_ “Jellico to Riker?” _

Obediently tapping the comm badge with his injured hand got closer to what he’d been looking for.

“Riker here.”

8888888888

‘Weekend’ on a starship wasn’t quite the same as planetside, according to most of the population on the Enterprise. For children, it was a day for shorter, more fun ‘classes’ of such things as chess, rock climbing in the holodeck, and everything in between. Alexander had just started a class whose first few sessions were at the youth gym’s climbing wall. He’d told Lilly that his father thought he needed to train up his upper body strength, and she’d nodded her agreement sagely as he told her all about how he’d soon be strong enough to lift his father’s  _ bat’leth. _

The class was two hours long, and Lilly had just settled in to watch the first half hour or so just for her own peace of mind when the comms sounded with Captain Jellico’s voice.

_ “Jellico to Picard?” _

Every face turned to the section of chairs where parents waited. Nearly every face looked disappointed when they didn’t see Captain Picard standing there. Lilly stood and walked over to the instructor.

“Do you have a more private comm?”

“The message is for  _ you?” _ the man said, clearly surprised.

“Yes,” she said without elaborating.

“You can use my office space. Comm’s at the desk.”

Lilly felt everyone’s eye on her as she picked her way back through the seated children toward the office. Just as she was worried would happen, the captain called again, sounding more irritated this time.

_ “Jellico to Picard?” _

Lilly hurried into the office, tapping the door shut behind her. She found the comm quickly and pushed the button. “Picard to Jellico, go ahead?”

_ “I need to see you in my Ready Room right away. Jellico out.” _

Sending a mental ‘thank you’ to Data for explaining the basics of the comm system to her (and thus easing her mind about whether the rest of the room heard the command for her to essentially report to the principal’s office), Lilly left the office, waved to Alexander, and headed for the bridge.

The only person on the bridge that she recognized when she got there was Data, and he was faced away from her at the top section far from the captain’s Ready Room, so she didn’t bother him. Steeling herself against whatever anger the captain had in store for her for making him repeat himself over the comm, she tapped the chime.

“Come!” Jellico called out from inside.

Lilly walked in and saw the captain rise from his seat and gesture for her to sit on one of the chairs in front of his desk. Riker was standing to the captain’s side, and the irritated set of his jaw made Lilly wonder if they were arguing before she’d shown up. She moved swiftly to sit down and tamped down her instinct to immediately start apologizing for the thing she expected he was upset with her over.

“We’ve received some news,” Jellico said without preamble. “The mission Captain Picard and two others were engaged in is completed.” There was a pause during which Riker straightened up, his body language seeming to revert back to a soldier’s stance. “He appears to have been captured,” Jellico continued grimly. 

The worry that had been hiding in the back of her mind rushed to the fore, and Lilly folded her hands together ruthlessly tight to prevent covering her mouth in distress. She wasn’t about to show weakness to either man in front of her. At the same time, though, she felt an odd sense of unreality. Even after signing forms for Alexander’s care just the day before, she hadn’t  _ really _ thought anything would happen to them, especially not Captain Picard.

“Lieutenant Worf? Doctor Crusher?” Lilly asked in a hushed voice.

Jellico looked up at Riker, but Lilly couldn’t make out his expression. “They’re back on the ship now,” he said.

“Thank goodness,” Lilly said, interrupting whatever it was that Jellico was about to say. He looked less sympathetic than irritated at the idea that he would have to inform her about her family member’s capture in the first place.

“Yes, well. Given the uncertainty, it would be a good idea for you to start preparing for your own future, which as I’m sure you understand, cannot include staying on this ship,” Captain Jellico said.

Lilly couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Behind Jellico, Lilly saw Riker’s hands tighten around each other in front of him, his knuckles turning white. Without looking up at his face, that small measure of subtle, implied support was enough to give her the courage to say the first thing that came to mind.

“I’m sorry, are you really telling me, mere minutes after informing me that my uncle is a prisoner of war--”

“He is  _ not _ a prisoner of war! Commander Riker!” Jellico interrupted, pushing back from the desk and turning to look with barely concealed fury at his first officer.

“Sir I have not spoken to Miss Picard in twenty four hours. I have held no conversations about our negotiations with the Cardassians--”

“Ugh!” the captain said in frustration, spinning back around.

Lilly risked a glance at Riker and saw he was holding himself as rigid as possible, jaw locked, eyes straight ahead.

“The truth is, had I known Picard had family on the ship with him, I would have ensured you were moved to the  _ Cairo _ and out of harm’s way before we left. As it stands, I can’t tell you anything further about your uncle’s condition, which I’m sure you understand,” Jellico said. He sounded upset, which made his phrasing more insulting than he may have intended. “You should expect to find alternate housing as soon as possible. I’ll look forward to hearing what you’ve come up with.”

That last sentence sent her into overly polite, know-it-all mode.

“You’re aware, are you not, of the cognitive decline that happens during the grieving process, especially at the beginning?” she said, feigning confusion.

_ That _ was clearly not what he had been expecting. He looked at her, silently processing her words, before his expression darkened and he shifted into bureaucratic mode.

“I’m afraid I don’t have the time or inclination to engage in that kind of discussion,” he said. He half rose from his seat, and she pressed her advantage, furious and miserable about the way the man was sitting in a room that didn’t belong to him, dismissing the possible loss of a man he had no chance of properly replacing.

“Of course, your advantage of rank means you can choose your conversations, unlike the way you expect me to discuss finding a new home right after being told my uncle is likely unsavable,” Lilly said, her voice dripping with insolence. Jellico opened his mouth, and she stood. “Don’t worry, I’m happy to be on my way. Though it’s interesting that you’ve pressed me so hard to move out, considering that I assume it would clue the… Cardassians, is it? in on our knowledge of the outcome of his mission if someone with the last name ‘Picard’ were to start sending subspace messages inquiring about housing on Earth.”

Jellico stood. He looked slightly sick.

“I can’t think of any reason why you would be encouraging me to place the ship or her true captain at risk like that. I guess maybe we could chalk it up to grief?” Lilly hit the control panel to open the door.

“Now you just  _ wait _ a minute!” Captain Jellico shouted at her.

Lilly walked out of the door and marched up to the turbolift. Behind her, through the open door to his ready room, Lilly heard the captain shout to Riker that he expected him to bring her back. The turbolift door opened, and she stepped in and turned around, keeping one hand resting on the frame of the door so it wouldn’t close.

Riker came toward her, his expression rebellious and unhappy. Lilly didn’t remove her hand. When he was standing in front of her, his body blocking all view of the bridge behind him, she looked up at him.

“If it will affect your job, I’ll come with you,” she told him, low enough that no one except Data could overhear.

Riker’s expression softened, and he sighed, a short and explosive. “I don’t care.”

“What if I care  _ for _ you?” she asked quietly.

“You shouldn’t.” His voice was deep and affectionate, but his blue eyes were bleak. The double meaning in their statements hung between them.

Lilly smiled. “I know.”

Riker reached down and moved her hand away from the door. Then, he said, “Deck Seven,” and stepped back.

The turbolift door closed and she heard the engine whirring to life, taking her away from whatever consequences the captain of the Enterprise had planned for her.

8888888888

Will turned around to see Jellico come around the corner from his office, his face like a thundercloud.

“Sir,” Will started, wondering how best to explain that he let Lilly leave to a man who seemed to encourage deceit in the everyday actions of the people he worked with. Lying to a superior officer was not something Will had any intention of doing, and he hated the fact that he felt tempted to do so in the first place.

“Not now. We’ve been called to another meeting. Grab Troi and meet me on Deck Five. We’ll take the turbolift together and head into the Observation Lounge,” Jellico said. Instead of taking the lift beside where Will was standing, he crossed over to speak to Data on his way to the other turbolift.

As Will strode through the corridors on the way to pick up Deanna, he felt a growing sense of doom. Jellico’s reaction to Lilly correctly terming Picard as a prisoner of war had dark implications. The language that both he and Vice-Admiral Nechayev had used throughout their briefings and confrontations with the Cardassian leader had all had a common thread: the Federation was absolutely  _ not _ at war. 

If they were not at war, however, Picard would not be protected by treaties designed to dictate treatment of prisoners.

If he was even still alive.

8888888888

Lilly didn’t stay on Deck Seven. She still had forty-five minutes before Alexander was finished with his class, and she intended to  _ use _ those minutes to find Worf. Mere steps away from Sick Bay, though, she reconsidered. Any conversation that would be satisfactory would no doubt exceed the time she had left, and she had no real clues as to what his condition would be.

He had asked her to watch after Alexander, and that was her job right now. She stopped shy of the door to Sick Bay and rested her hand on the bulkhead, sending soothing, confident thoughts to the souls who rested on the other side. Then, she turned around and got back into the turbolift, heading back to Alexander. She didn’t plan to tell him about the good news that his father had returned, not yet, not in the middle of his class. Of all the children she’d gotten the privilege of instructing in her few years of being a teacher, Alexander was one of the most reticent. He wouldn’t like to have the attention of the entire class on him for something he would be happier to learn in private.

It turned out that Worf was waiting in the corridor outside the door to Alexander’s classroom. As soon as she saw him, Lilly quickened her pace. When he saw her, he smiled.

“I think I’m going to have to hug you,” she told him.

“I will manage,” he answered.

Lilly took that to mean that he was all right with the gesture, but when she threw one arm around him, he stood still, stiff and unresponsive. She didn’t hug him long, but he didn’t push her away, and she supposed that was the best she could ask for.

“Are you hurt at all?” she asked once she’d backed off. “Is Beverly okay?”

“We are both fine. Have you been told about the captain?” he asked in a quiet voice. She nodded soberly. “I am wounded that I was unable to prevent his capture,” he said.

“I hear you. Alexander has been a delight, albeit a quiet one,” Lilly told him. His smile was heartwarming.

“I am pleased that you are here. I wish to see him, but do not want to cause a scene in our reuniting.”

“I can run in and get him, and we can either meet you in the hall, or I can take him home and you can see him there? Do you want it to be a surprise?” she offered.

“I will wait in our quarters, then. You can… avoid telling him. I look forward to seeing his expression,” Worf said, looking over at the door to Alexander’s classroom with a hungry look.

“He missed you, too,” Lilly said.

8888888888

Will left the Observation Lounge with a feeling of vindictive fury. Captain Edward Jellico had just made the kind of mistake that would show to his superiors just what a foolish  _ jerk  _ he was. Removing him as first officer for daring to question his judgment was only the last in a long line of decisions that Will thought were questionable.

Did Jellico love the Enterprise posting so much that he was willing to sacrifice Jean-Luc Picard, the man Riker and the rest of her crew had  _ clawed back from the Borg, _ just to keep the captaincy? Or was this yet another play for Gul Lemec’s benefit? Was Jellico going to call an emergency meeting with Lemec, with Troi and  _ Data _ at his side, and apologize for the change in staff? Would he claim that Riker had sought to undermine him and had to be relieved of duty, thanks to his inability to let Jean-Luc Picard go?

What would that kind of surprise move do to Gul Lemec’s sneering self-confidence?

Nothing good, most likely.

“God _ damnit!” _ Will shouted in the turbolift. 

Data would do a fantastic job as a temporary first officer, and Will wasn’t all that worried about the ship in particular, though he  _ did _ wonder if Jellico fully understood that the difference in sizes between the  _ USS Cairo _ and the  _ USS Enterprise  _ meant that there was more to stepping in as first officer than just following Jellico’s orders. Crew management of the Enterprise was something Will took great pride in, and he had been holding everything and every _ one _ together by his fingernails, thanks to their new captain’s peremptory attitude and sheer lack of care for their well-being.

Will had commented to Geordi that it seemed to him that the ship could be staffed entirely by human-sized  _ penguins _ and Jellico would treat them the exact same way.

He walked into his quarters and tugged his uniform top down instinctively before looking down at it. Will knew he had to take it off right away, or he’d be accused of insubordination. He didn’t have a sense that he’d never be able to put it back on, but taking it off still felt like betraying everything he loved about being Picard’s ‘Number One.’

“I’m not leaving you out there alone, sir,” Will said aloud. He looked around his room and remembered how it had felt when Lilly told him that Picard had warned her not to speak about things she didn’t want Jellico to overhear, should he choose to pull surveillance on her rooms. He threw his arms out wide, tipped his head back, and repeated himself. “I am not leaving Jean-Luc Picard as a captive of the Cardassian Union.”

It was easier to breathe, Will thought, with that burden lifted. Even without a plan, speaking those words aloud had made him feel better.

_ “Now _ I can take this off,” he said, heading for his bedroom with one hand reaching for the zipper of his shirt.


	16. Major Mutiny

###  Chapter Sixteen: Major Mutiny

Will had one arm into his civilian shirt when the door chimed. He pulled the rest of it on and called out for whoever it was to come in.

It was Data.

“Before you speak, I need to inform you that this conversation is likely to be inquired about,” Data said.

Will nodded, surprised.

“I am on my way to my quarters to replicate a new uniform. I have stopped by to express my regret at the circumstances that have enabled me to temporarily step up ‘into your shoes,’ as the phrase goes,” Data said.

“Thank you,” Will said, curious at the way the android was phrasing things extremely carefully, more precisely even than his usual speech.

“Once I have replicated my uniform, I will dress, and then I will move on to my next task, which is to retrieve the captain’s niece for what my commanding officer termed as an ‘interrogation.’ However, as I am used to wearing this uniform, it may be that the change could take some time.”

Will walked forward and placed a hand on Data’s shoulder. “My friend, the ship is safe in your hands. I appreciate everything you’ve ever done for me.”

“I feel the same way about you, sir,” Data said. “I fondly remember our away missions together.”

“Thank you. As for your dilemma, the red fabric does have a different feel than the gold. You might have to try more than one size,” Will grinned. He wondered if Data was hinting at their ‘help’ code in code of his own, just in case whatever Will planned to do required his help.

“That is what I anticipated. Thank you,” Data said. He left, and Will counted thirty seconds before he also left, getting into the turbolift and heading for Deck Seven.

8888888888

After Lilly had left Worf and Alexander to their reunion, she boarded the turbolift, but right after announcing the destination of Deck Seven, she decided to ask after Beverly. Worf had said that they weren’t hurt badly, and Lilly hoped enough time had passed to cover all of the debriefs with a bit of recovery time.

“Computer, halt. Location of Dr. Beverly Crusher, please?”

_ “Dr. Crusher is in her quarters.” _

“And those are…” Lilly waited, but she hadn’t used the right terminology. “You’d think by the 24th century they’d have come up with a computer system that understood ‘smartass,’ but I guess they wouldn’t install that on a military ship anyway,” she said. “Computer, location of Dr. Beverly Crusher’s quarters?”

_ “That information is not available to your security level.” _

“Okay, I guess that makes sense,” Lilly said. It wasn’t hard to imagine every single person with an imagined malady ‘not wanting to bother’ the Sick Bay staff and dropping by the Chief Medical Officer’s actual living space. It also made an odd sort of sense that the computer could tell someone with no security clearance a  _ general _ location without giving specifics. It was enough to let someone feel reassured but not enough to ensure the doctor would get unwelcome visitors. 

It also probably helped that the majority of the people on board were related to, or members of, Starfleet.

An error chime sounded.  _ “Resuming trip.” _ Someone must have called the turbolift, she realized.

Lilly got out at Deck Seven and nodded to the science officer who got on the turbolift she’d just vacated. Once in her quarters, Lilly tried a different tactic.

She tapped the comm. “Lilly Picard to Dr. Crusher?”

_ “That action is not available to your security level.” _

“Fine. Can you  _ relay _ a message to Dr. Crusher?”

_ “That action is not available to your security level.” _

“Fine!” Lilly shouted at the ceiling. If Beverly was protected by security protocols, that probably meant that Deanna was, as the Ship’s Counselor. Most of Lilly’s interactions with both women had been in person, so she’d never come across this obstacle before. Data was on duty, but she knew she could contact Worf, because she’d done that before. She tapped the comm again. “Lilly Picard to Worf?”

_ “Worf here.” _

“I am so sorry to bother you, but I wanted to talk to Beverly, and I’m basically persona non grata to the computer here now that my uncle is not the captain, and I have zero permissions. Could you please just tell her that I’m thinking of her and I hope she is okay?” she said, hoping there wasn’t a limit to comm channel conversations that she wasn’t aware of.

_ “I can do that. Wo--” _

Worf’s voice cut out, but before it did, Lilly heard Deanna’s voice on the comm, calling him. Her voice sounded distressed, and Lilly spent a couple of minutes worrying about that before Worf called her on the comm again.

_ “Worf to Lilly Picard?” _

“Lilly here,” she said, tapping the comm.

_ “I was interrupted by Counselor Troi with news that Captain Jellico has relieved Commander Riker of duty. I recommend that you remain in your quarters. I will send a message to Dr. Crusher for you. Worf out.” _

Actual fear robbed Lilly of her breath for a few seconds. 

Riker was her de facto protector. With Captain Picard somewhere in a Cardassian brig  _ or worse, _ she was in a very vulnerable position. They were still in Cardassian space, as far as she knew. That information was likely  _ not available to her security level. _

Everything about the situation on the Enterprise felt like it was in crisis, a more insidious crisis than the one when the Ferengi tried to take over. At least everyone from their ship was working together to take it back from the enemy, that time. Now, Lilly felt like the ship had been taken over by agents of Starfleet Command, who seemed to care more about the physical ship than the people that made it worth more than a large, presumably expensive, piece of equipment.

The look on Captain Jellico’s face when he shouted at her that Captain Picard was not a prisoner of war was the expression of a man whose narrative wasn’t being followed. She had to assume there was a Geneva Convention in space since it seemed to matter whether or not Picard was a PoW, and Jellico clearly objected to whatever would qualify him as such.

Lilly wasn’t used to being in a position where she couldn’t help. Sure, she was usually just a conscientious mind on the faculty of a medium-sized public school, but she knew by the reactions of Picard and Riker especially that she would eventually be a ‘21st century leader.’

“Maybe it’s time to start down that road sooner, rather than later,” Lilly said.

She walked over to the replicator and started to formulate a plan.

8888888888

When Will got to Lilly’s door and hit the chime, Lilly responded uncharacteristically, but not unsurprisingly.

“Who is it?” she called out.

He stood there for a second, and then, looking down at himself, he answered.

“It’s Will.”

He honestly didn’t think she would have let ‘Commander Riker’ in, especially not after he’d just stood obediently beside Jellico while he treated her poorly, but she opened the door for ‘Will.’

He didn’t see her until he’d walked all the way inside and the door shut behind him. What he saw made his heart catch and his anxiety skyrocket.

Lilly was wearing 21st century clothing. It was an outfit he’d seen in photographs of her and one or two holofilms from her first year as a royal. She looked anachronistic with the starfield through her windows behind her, more like the hologram he thought she was when he’d first met her.

They stood feet apart, staring at each other, until he simply said,  _ “Why?” _

She lifted her chin. “I plan to help.”

Will understood, then. She’d dressed herself again in the trappings of her past identity because she was going to draw on the only card she had to play: Q.

She was sacrificing herself.

Now Will wished he was wearing his uniform after all.  _ “No.” _

He walked toward her, drawing on his years of command positions to present her with the complete package of authority. She didn’t retreat, not that he even for a second thought she would. He didn’t stop when he was a foot away. He didn’t stop when he was inches away. Lilly finally seemed to realize he wasn’t going to stop at all when he reached out to steady her with a hand on both of her upper arms. 

He wasn’t sure whether he wanted to hold her close or shake some sense into her, but she stumbled against the tall-backed chair behind her and he stopped just a hair’s breadth away, looming over her. She was breathing heavily, and every breath made her chest brush against him.

He didn’t speak. He didn’t have to.

“I can’t watch you lose your job and Picard lose his  _ life _ when I have some power to stop it!” she said, glaring up at him as if he weren’t using every bit of his physical advantage over her to intimidate.

“This isn’t your fight!” he argued.

“The hell it isn’t!” Lilly yelled. “If I can’t stay here, if I can’t  _ be _ with you then the least I can do is make sure you’re all in the same position you were in when I got here in the first place!”

Data would be arriving soon. The need to hurry made Will doubt the conclusion that was staring him in the face. That, or the desperate hope he felt at the possibility.

“So stay,” Will said, letting go of her arms to take her hands in his instead. “Be with me.”

Instead of the happiness he hoped for, the fire in Lilly’s eyes extinguished, and she looked down, her blonde hair falling down to cover her face. She muttered something about ‘duty.’

Suddenly, Will understood. “You think I’m lying to you for the good of the ship! Because I’ve done it before. I let you think I felt nothing.” He squeezed her hands, let go, and stepped back. “Here’s everything I know,” he said, standing in front of her at parade rest, his hands clasped behind him, eyes fixed on the wall behind her.

“What are you doing?” she asked, her voice uncertain. He didn’t look at her when he answered, but he could see her in his peripheral vision.

“I’m making a report. I’m not going to try to manipulate you with body language or facial expressions,” Will told her.

Her laugh was as fond as a caress. “You  _ do _ know that this is a manipulation in and of itself?”

“You are the most adorably frustrating person I have ever met, and the worst part is that I think you  _ know _ that,” Will said, smiling at her with his full force of warmth. 

The way Lilly’s expression softened was a confidence booster. "Don’t go all soldier on me, Commander,” she said. “Just tell me what you came here to say?”

“Data was promoted to my position for now. He told me the captain is planning to ‘interrogate’ you-- his words, not mine,” Will told her, still at parade rest, but without the formal attitude. His worry about how determined she was to call for Q was reinforced by the way she didn’t seem concerned about what he’d just said. “The Cardassians gave the Federation seven hours to clear out,  _ without _ Captain Picard,” he added.

“Perfect,” Lilly said, unexpectedly. She started past him toward the door and he threw his arm out to stop her. 

He had to get her to understand. Lilly looked up at him, and he recognized the self-sacrificial sadness in her eyes. He’d lied about not loving her once, and now she refused to believe the truth. The options in front of them were lonely, but there was a third option: a sidestep, a fakeout. Will just hoped he could persuade her to choose it.

“What if we could use the truth of who you are to influence Jellico  _ without _ sending you away in the process?” he said, resisting the urge to order her to listen. 

“You think a man like Captain Jellico would respond well to ‘Do what we say, or we’ll call our omnipotent asshole buddy to come screw up your plans?’” she asked him incredulously. She brushed her hair back with her fingers, pulling free a clip she was wearing to adjust it. After a failed attempt, she sighed and tucked it into her pocket instead.

“Would Jellico respond better if he didn’t have any warning at all?”

Lilly laid her forehead down on his outstretched arm. “Fine. Fair point.”

“You were already planning to argue with a strong-willed person about saving Jean-Luc Picard. Argue with the captain first, and if that doesn’t work,  _ then _ double down,” Will said.

The door chime sounded.

“Data,” Will said. Lilly looked uncertain, and took a few steps toward the door and away from him.

“Just a minute!” she called out. She spun around and held out a hand. “All right,” she said, nodding her agreement with his plan. “Should I change?”

Will walked over and pulled her outstretched hand onto his chest, over his heart. “No,” he shook his head. “Our ace in the hole is Q, not your identity.”

Lilly was staring at her hand. “I don’t have a cover story,” she said, her face distressed. “I don’t have anything to tell him but the truth. I don’t think I can do this!” She started to pull away.

“So tell him the truth,” Will said. “Let Jellico be the only one left lying.  _ Lilly.” _ He reached out to touch her face, and the door chimed again. “Lilly, I--”

“Come in!” she called out, keeping her eyes locked to his.

“I’m not afraid of the truth,” Will said, smiling. He was filled with a sense of inevitability.  _ She believed him, _ he was sure of it, otherwise she wouldn’t be so afraid of what he’d been about to say. 

As the door slid open, Lilly pulled away from Will just as Data walked in wearing a red command uniform.

“Hey there,” Lilly said to him. “I want you to know I’m really tempted to make a joke about your promotion, but I like and respect both of you, so I’m holding back.”

Will couldn’t help coming up behind her and murmuring, “I was hoping for ‘like,’ but ‘respect,’ too?”

“Don’t push it,” Lilly teased him, speaking over her shoulder.

“Hello, Lilly. I presume that Commander Riker has told you why I am here?” Data stepped further into the room and cocked his head to the side in a close approximation of confusion. “Why are you dressed like that?”

“She was about to sic a very specific entity on anyone standing in the way of rescuing Captain Picard,” Will answered for Lilly.

“Would that not… ‘sic’ that entity on herself as well?” Data asked.

“It’s worth it,” Lilly said defensively.

“I think the captain has a plan,” Will said.

“His schedule for the day seems to bear that out. I am to take Lilly to his Ready Room, and proceed immediately to the Observation Lounge for a senior crew meeting,” Data told them.

“So he’s making her wait just like Gul Lemec?” Will shook his head and widened his eyes. He could not match this captain’s thinking at all, and it was disconcerting after all his years on starships. “What benefit could that have?”

“I do not know.”

“Don’t worry, you two,” Lilly said, darting past them to the table to pick something up. She walked back over with it, and Will recognized it as Picard’s  _ Complete Works of Shakespeare. _ “I’m keeping it safe for him.” Her uplifted chin challenged them to say something discouraging about the likelihood of his return.

“Why am I not surprised that Jellico wanted that out of there?” Will asked rhetorically. “Computer, location of Captain Jellico?”

_ “That information is not available to your security level.” _

Lilly burst out laughing, but Will couldn’t see what was amusing.

“I’ll tell you later,” she promised, and then blushed. Will shot his eyebrows up at her implication that there was a ‘later’ to be had. It was encouraging to the extreme that she didn’t clarify her statement, but let it stand, instead.

“I am certain that the captain is currently in the Observation Lounge,” Data said. “We should proceed to the Ready Room as soon as possible, so I can perform my duties appropriately.”

Lilly turned toward Will. “So I’m basically stalling him on the mystery of my true identity, until we find out what his plan is? Should I change clothes?”

To Will’s surprise, Data answered her. “I would prefer not to delay any longer, but I also believe your attire may provide a confusing distraction against his suspicions about any Cardassian connection. When he ordered me to bring you for, as he termed it, ‘interrogation,’ he seemed quite convinced that you are a negative and possibly nefarious influence. If you seek to use your true identity as leverage to persuade him to place a higher value on rescuing Captain Picard, your clothing will assist in that endeavor.”

“That’s the plan, then,” Lilly said nervously. She was hugging the large tome of Shakespeare’s writings against her chest. Her current vulnerability compared with the feisty way she fought him most of the time tugged at Will’s heart. He leaned over and kissed the top of her head.

“If he throws you in the brig, I’ll join you,” he promised her.

“Like he’d put us in the same cell!” she scoffed.

“He thinks we hate each other, remember?” Will said.

“More fool he,” Lilly said, tightening her grip on the book as she walked over to the door and tapped the control panel to open it. “Only one of us does.”

“Commander, I may be ordered to keep the details of the upcoming meeting to myself. If that happens, I will be truthful about my orders to the best of my ability,” Data told him.

Will smiled broadly. “I have connections, Data. Don’t worry.”

Data sniffed in deeply, tilting his head sideways. “Though the balance of probability does not weigh in our favor, sir, I am, to the level of which I am capable… hopeful.”

Will waited until Data walked through Lilly’s doorway before he did as well. “So am I.” 

He watched the two of them board the turbolift and then he turned to head toward the turbolift on the other side of the corridor, closer to his office. He had a lot to think about, but wanted to focus on wrapping up the loose ends of his work before he allowed himself to do the serious pondering he had in mind.

When he keyed in his code for his office, he was greeted by an unwelcome message.

_ “This code has now expired. Gather up any personal belongings before exiting. Any further entrance must be granted by the current first officer of the Enterprise.” _

“Yeah, thanks,” Will said sarcastically. He sat down at his desk, looking over at the various objects and books he’d consider ‘personal belongings.’ Data wouldn’t remove them, and as soon as they got Picard back, Will knew he would be back in uniform, so he decided to leave everything as it was. When he’d moved out of positions in the past, he’d left a note of encouragement and information to the next person in line, but he felt no such need now.

What he  _ did _ want to do was wrap up the final threads of the transition to four duty shifts. When he went to access the relevant files, however, he was once again informed that his access was denied, this time in text rather than the usual dry female computer voice. This still reminded him of Lilly’s laughter when that had happened in her quarters. He wanted to find out what that was about, and it seemed like she was more amenable to an inquiry (or his presence at all, come to that) than she had been since Jellico’s appearance on the ship.

Will drummed a quick cadence on the desk with the flats of his hands. “I’ll have to do it the old fashioned way!” he said. He’d go to the department heads in person. Two were currently sleeping, but if he planned to speak for ten to fifteen minutes to each, Will would be able to catch those two right before they went on duty. He allowed himself a satisfied smile. Jellico might be obvious about his distrust of Will’s judgment, but he would be hard pressed to find something to criticize when it came to rapport with personnel. He frowned, then. Jellico didn’t seem to value  _ that _ kind of leadership characteristic at all.

Will wondered if Edward Jellico had spent an unusually short time as a first officer before being promoted to captain. 

He stood, casting his gaze around the room one last time to be sure he hadn’t missed anything. That was when he noticed the aquarium from Picard’s Ready Room. Will wondered if Captain Jellico would consider it insubordination if Will were found to have dragged it from his ex-office all the way to his quarters.

Would using the transporter be any less obvious? He seemed like the type to check logs and crack down on ‘unapproved use.’

Data wouldn’t get rid of it, Will decided. He left the room as empty-handed as he had entered it, heading to Engineering to speak with their Department head. After that would be the first of four research labs.

8888888888

When they got to the Ready Room, Lilly said goodbye to Data and deliberately held her tongue before speaking any further. She knew he had a meeting to go to, and it seemed by the way he’d behaved around Riker that he’d warned the other man about his orders regarding herself. Delays in starting your first officer duties were bad enough without them being because Lilly Picard couldn’t stop talking.

She walked around the room with her arms hugged around herself and wished she felt Picard’s presence. The whole ship felt off-kilter without him.

Lilly didn’t know much about the entity that had stolen her out of her own time, but one thing she  _ had _ figured out was that ‘Q’ seemed to like to know what Picard was up to. She didn’t really know how to contact Q, but as frightened as she was about what calling for him might mean for her personally, she was ready to do it, if it would bring Picard back out of harm’s way.

She stared at the starfield and wished there was a way she could both use her implied clout with Q to rescue Picard  _ and _ be able to stay on the Enterprise. ‘ _ You want to stay near Will, admit it!’ _ her inner voice accused.

The warmth she felt in even thinking his first name in her own head was enough to drive away the guilt she felt in enjoying it in the first place.

Lilly turned away from the window and picked up the huge tome of Shakespeare’s works. She decided against looking at the table of contents, and instead simply opened it up.

“ _ Romeo and Juliet,  _ of course!” Lilly said with a sigh. On closer inspection, she found that she’d opened the book to  _ Romeo and Juliet _ Act Two, scene two.

> _ And yet I wish but for the thing I have. _
> 
> _ My bounty is as boundless as the sea, _
> 
> _ My love as deep. The more I give to thee, _
> 
> _ The more I have, for both are infinite. _

“Oh, what do you know?” Lilly told the book, irritated and entranced by the implications of the scene she’d chosen at random. “Both of you die at the end!”

She shut the book and looked at the table of contents, instead. At the back of her mind, though, she couldn’t help but think about the fact that when she went back, she would be dead to Will Riker, just as he would be as good as dead to her.

8888888888

Halfway through Will’s visits to the department heads, he felt the hum of the ship shift from idle to warp speed. He knew he wouldn’t endear himself to the current captain if he went poking around the senior crew to find out what was going on, so instead, he headed to Ten Forward.

After twenty minutes or so, he’d gotten enough of a story to feel satisfied: word was that Jellico suspected there was a planned attack, had done some digging, and was headed for where the Cardassian attack fleet was hidden.

That suited Will just fine, given that he didn’t think the planet Worf, Beverly, and Jean-Luc had been sent to was any significant base of operations, which meant Picard was likely on a ship. 

“Did you find out what you wanted to know?” 

Guinan’s voice came from behind him as he sat alone at a table recently vacated by one of Geordi’s most trusted officers from engineering.

“I did,” he said. There wasn’t a point in denying what he’d been doing.

She walked past him and sat down. Guinan was wearing a deep orange outfit this evening, and her hat was two-toned in dark and lighter orange.

“Well?” she asked. The impish light in her eyes and her slight smile dared him to figure out what she was expecting from him.

He was up to the challenge. With a flirty smile, Will declared, “After months without witnessing a sunset, you’ve rescued me with the brightness of your outfit and your smile!” Her reaction was gratifying, even if she was humoring him. She grinned, touching a self-conscious hand to her hat and her neckline, which did actually have lighter orange stripes radiating down from it.

“Does it gall you that the one woman you’ve fallen in love with seems to be mostly immune to all that charm you’ve got going on, there?” she asked, waving her hand in a vague circle as if she couldn’t put words to exactly what he was doing. He kept the grin on his face, but chalked up a point for her in his mental tally of Will Riker vs. Guinan’s Truths. Lilly was  _ not _ the kind of woman who responded favorably to a pick-up line, that was for certain.

“Is that what she told you back home on Earth?” he guessed, watching her carefully for a reaction. Guinan could have still been on Earth during Lilly’s reign, and if she had been, Will would have bet all the poker chips he was sure to win at the next few games that she was the kind of person Guinan would want to spend time with. To his surprise, though, Guinan’s face turned a bit sad, and she shook her head.

“I knew her, yes. She never mentioned anything about the future, though. I am proud of how little surprise I showed when she came here before your big fight,” Guinan said, her eyes moving from his face toward Ten Forward’s windows. “I  _ knew _ it was her, years younger than when we’d first met. Less sad.”

Her last two words cut Will deeply, so much so that he rocked back in his seat.

“What?” Guinan said, suddenly aggressive, her tone somehow harsh and yet almost too quiet to be overheard. “You thought you could have your cake, eat it too, and no one would be hurt?”

He shook his head, chastened to the extreme even as he held up his hands in surrender. Guinan’s eyebrows went up as he opened his mouth to speak, and the words dusted in his mouth. He just listened to her vibrant, angry voice as she chastised him.

“I said ‘sad,’ and I meant ‘sad.’ I don’t know if that’s because she had to live through multiple generations of Picards and Trois and Rozhenkos and Rikers before she went home, or if it’s because she had to leave you behind in a few days, or something in between. For all I know, she lived a long, happy life with you.  _ All _ of those outcomes could leave that woman sad.”

“She never said anything to you?” Will asked again, reeling from the many implications of her words. He was on the edge of something, and it all hinged on her answer.

“You know you can trust her, William Thomas Riker. The only thing that suspicion you’re still wearing on your face like a guilty Halloween mask is about is whether you can trust  _ yourself,” _ Guinan said, standing up. He stood as well, a reflex that had just as much to do with his respect for her as it did about politeness. She noticed, he saw, and the grim line of her mouth twisted into a smile. “I  _ like _ that about you, you know. Your body language is sometimes ridiculous, but treating the people you respect like they’re worth respecting is something you’re really good at.”

The warmth he felt from her unexpected praise washed through him like Thalaron radiation, stealing a bit of his breath with it. “Thank you,” he said, grinning at her as best he could.

Guinan waved a ‘get out of here’ gesture at him as she walked away.

Will dropped back into his seat and scrubbed a hand over his face. If Lilly hadn’t breathed a word about their shared experience to Guinan in the 21st century, that was hugely significant. He trusted Guinan not to prevaricate-- if Lilly had alluded to space, a foreknowledge of who Guinan was, or anything like that at all, she would have told him. 

This whole time he’d been operating on the assumptions he’d made after meeting the 20th century humans the Enterprise had encountered years before: Pre-warp humans were less enlightened, more selfish, and almost certainly wouldn’t be able to keep secrets as large as ‘aliens are real’ and ‘time travel is possible and I’ve done it.’ In retrospect, there was nothing in the hundreds of hours of holovids he’d watched of Lilly Windsor that would have implied she was that kind of a person, but in his mind he’d divorced the  _ person _ of ‘Lilly Windsor, Embattled Queen’ from the reality of Lilly Windsor, 21st century human.

He propped his head up on the cradle of his hands, fingertips pressed to his forehead, gaze down but looking into the far distance rather than the actual table surface. Deanna’s words to him about the length of time it might take to send Lilly back were echoing through his head. Along with them was the knowledge that his and Lilly’s mutual love for each other had created the orb in the exact color of the uniform he wasn’t allowed to wear right now. The only sour spot was the look of unhappy disbelief in her eyes when he’d told her to stay. He’d made a tactical error in assuming that lying to her was ever a good idea, Will realized.

He could change that expression into joyful agreement, he  _ knew _ he could. It would take some planning, but Will could see their shared life stretching out in front of him. What better Captain’s wife could he have than an actual  _ queen?! _

His only hurdle was the rescue of Jean-Luc Picard, something he would have been focused on anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lines from Romeo and Juliet are poignant here because they speak of wishing for something that Juliet already has. Lilly might have Will's love, but on a deeper level, she does know that she has kids in the future, and that implies that she's being selfish for wanting more than that. 
> 
> But then the next lines talk about having a 'boundless bounty' and a 'deep love,' which both imply having enough for both situations. So for Lilly in that moment, it's like she initially feels guilty for wanting what she shouldn't have, but then is reminded that she has the capacity to love and care for both groups of people.
> 
> note: I have dialogue from Data in this chapter that are, honestly, OOC technically, because he refers to feelings. However, I have left them in because they feel right and accurate to me. I just wanted to acknowledge my mistake.


	17. Symbolism

###  Chapter Seventeen: Symbolism

Lilly didn’t know how long she had been reading, but she was well into the first act of the play she’d started by the time she heard the door to the ready room slide open.

Jellico came in and made a beeline for his desk. He seemed intent on ignoring her; at no point in the next three minutes did he look over, but instead sat down briskly and stared to sort through three PADDs at his desk. He lifted one up and completely blocked her from his sight for long enough that Lilly simply looked back down at her book. She only knew that it had been roughly three or four minutes since he’d entered the room because she had read the end of the scene and started the next before either of them spoke.

“Are you  _ reading?” _ Jellico asked. He sounded angry and disgusted, and Lilly reminded herself that this was probably because he’d intended for her to be bored and angry at how long he’d made her wait for him.

“Yes,” she said, reaching beside her for the bookmark she’d brought. She placed it in the book, making sure it was straight, before she closed it and clasped her hands patiently on top of it.

“Who told you to bring something to read?”

“It was less ‘telling me to bring it’ than implying the need, honestly,” Lilly said in as calm and pleasant a voice as she could, a stark contrast to Jellico’s angry, accusatory tone. “Data told me there might be a wait, as he was scheduled for a meeting after dropping me off here, and I grabbed this just in case.” She lifted the book.

His brows furrowed. “Where did you get that?”

“My uncle gave it to me for safekeeping, until he comes back,” she said, meeting Jellico’s gaze deliberately.

“I see.” Jellico stared over at her, his shoulders slightly hunched in a way that looked to her like he was lining up a golf shot. “The truth is, I think you’re hiding something from me.” He let the statement hang, as if he’d asked a question. Lilly considered whether or not to answer, given the lack of a question, but decided to go for it.

“Couldn’t it just be that I resent your taking my uncle’s job and the way you seem unconcerned about rescuing him?” she asked, as earnestly as she could.

He leaned back in his chair, pointing over at her. “That’s a good answer. A  _ very _ good answer. I’m not buying it, however. You are too smooth a talker, far too manipulative for someone with no actual power.” Jellico drummed his fingers on the desk in a move that almost seemed studied. “The way I see it, you’re either hired operative who has infiltrated the ship, entrenched enough that Starfleet was unable to warn me ahead of time, or you’re an opportunist who is just starting to get a grip on a position of influence.”

Lilly listened to his suggestions with a mixture of amusement and near horror. This man was coming close to the real way of things only by accident, and if she followed her instincts to hew as closely to the truth as possible, she’d have to phrase things quite carefully indeed. After all, given the logical deductions she’d made so far about her future life, the latter accusation was accurate, except for the part about her being an opportunist.

She had no real desire for  _ power, _ she just had an understanding of human nature and a genuine need to do well by the people she cared about.

In all honesty, Jellico’s accusations made Lilly want to make a note about the nature of power and how easily she could let comments like his go to her head.

“No third option?” she asked.

“No third option.” He rolled his chair into its slot at the desk and rested his forearms on the desk’s surface. “One way you could prove me wrong would be to provide access to your medical records.”

“My uncle warned me not to do that,” Lilly said. It was an extrapolation based on what Picard had told her, and it didn’t feel like lying. It also shifted the ‘blame’ for her refusal away from her own shoulders. 

“Why?” Jellico asked bluntly.

She smiled. “If it’s truly that important, I’m sure you could ask him yourself,” she said. His scowl was almost good natured, so she pushed a little further. “I’m sorry, I had to try.”

“What I want to know is how you became so determined to trust and defend Picard in so short a time!” he said, shaking his head. “Riker tells me you only came to find out the existence of your birth family less than five months ago, and came onto this ship only a few months after that!”

Now Lilly laughed. “That statement right there tells me you haven’t spent enough time with my uncle. No one who has could make that argument, blood relative or not!”

Jellico stood, startling Lilly. “I’d like to refocus, here. I want your medical records.” 

He walked over, and the casual dynamic that had been fostered by the physical distance between them was suddenly gone. Captain Jellico’s height made the disparity in their positions even more glaring, and Lilly felt intimidated despite knowing that was his intent. She looked up at him, interleaving her fingers and clasping them together tightly in her lap to hide any hint of nervousness.

“If you’re not willing to give me access to your medical records, I will accept some specific medical tests and confine you to quarters. If you refuse both, I’ll confine you to the brig with an eye to sending you back to Earth as soon as possible,” he said. His left hand gestured as he spoke, and his right hand fidgeted at his side, continuing to do so as he waited for her answer.

This was an escalation she wasn’t expecting.

“Do I get any time to decide?” she asked.

“Twelve hours.”

The noise of protest she made came out before she could stop herself. “Oh, come on! That takes us to six in the morning!”

“Twenty four, then, but I’ll need security to do a sweep of your room before you can go back there,” Jellico said, clearly irritated. He turned his back on her and leaned over his desk to pick up the PADD at the bottom of the pile, swiping at it in short, punctuated movements.

Lilly stood up, knowing he was distracted, knowing he was turned away from her. She stayed put, but spoke. “In the interests of full disclosure: I am close friends with your chief of security.”

“You’re saying he’ll be biased?” Jellico said without looking up from his PADD.

Lilly had to bite back a few choice responses to that. “No, of course not. I felt that if I didn’t say anything, you would have found something suspicious in the omission.”

The corners of Jellico’s lips turned up. He looked at her, and she saw a curious light in his eyes.

“You’re charming, I’ll give you that,” he said. Her surprise must have shown in her face, because he chuckled. “You’re right, I probably would have found that suspicious. I  _ won’t _ apologize for touching that nerve you have about defending people, though. I’m interested in how far it extends.”

For some reason that reminded Lilly of the trombone clip in her pocket, and when Jellico turned back to the PADD, she fished it out and clipped it on. Wearing Will’s emblem made her feel an odd sense of pride, and she found it difficult to school the smile off of her face. The added self-confidence led her to sit back down.

“I’ve got a detail that’ll meet me at Deck Seven in ten minutes,” Jellico said.

“Where should I wait, then? Here, in the room beside the main Bridge?” Lilly asked in a guileless voice. 

“No, you’ll come with me!”

Jellico’s anger was swift but cold. He marched over and she was certain he would grab her wrist, but instead he picked up Picard’s book and tucked it under his arm. With a stiff hand he gestured for her to precede him to the door, and she did just that, feeling as if goading him might have punctured the small bit of rapport they had.

In the turbolift, Lilly recalled the first time she’d met him, and decided to play on that, hoping he might soften a bit after her explanation.

“Captain, I apologize,” she said softly. “By pointing out how close we were to the bridge, I meant to highlight your lack of mistrust, not imply a defect in your strategy. I was wrong to assume it wouldn’t come across as an insult.”

“Is it studied?” he asked her bluntly.

Lilly blinked. “I… I’m afraid I have no idea what you’re asking me.”

The turbolift doors opened, and again he gestured for her to go first. She followed him as he silently stalked toward their pair of doors. Halfway there, Jellico turned and stopped.

“They teach that kind of phrasing in certain areas of study at the Academy,” he told her. “Diplomacy. Principles of Leadership.  _ Espionage. _ The innocuous comment hinting at something against regs. A deferential apology followed by doubling down on the initial break in norms. I’ve seen you do this at least twice.”

“Is there truth serum in this--” Lilly stopped herself  _ just shy _ of saying ‘century.’ “On this ship? Is that a thing? It’s the first spaceship of this size I’ve been on,” she said, having to adjust her phrasing to ‘of this size,’ considering it was very unlikely that she’d have been able to board the Enterprise straight off of Earth if they hadn’t been anywhere nearby. Jellico couldn’t fail but notice her hesitation, her body language that spoke of giving away more than she meant to, but there was no hope of hiding them now. “I guarantee I’d pass if you asked me if I’d been trained in any kind of diplomacy or espionage!”

“But you  _ are _ hiding something. That much is abundantly clear.”

Lilly wanted to comment that everyone was hiding  _ something. _ That she’d seen the childlike drawings framed in the Ready Room, that Jellico didn’t seem the right age to be a grandfather, nor a father of a child that young. She didn’t, though. She felt off-kilter, and far more out of her depth than she had at the palace before she’d come to the Enterprise. This man was the current captain of the flagship of Starfleet. He was functioning at the highest level of diplomacy and negotiation. She was just a schoolteacher with some good genes for talking a good talk.

The early arrival of the security team saved her from trying to hold her own with him any longer.

8888888888

Will found out about the result of Jellico’s meeting with Lilly when he had an unexpected visitor a half hour before he would have gone on duty.

“Come!” he said, wiping up the last of the crumbs from his breakfast off of the table and into his hand to dump onto the replicator to be disposed of. “Doctor, hello.”

“I probably shouldn’t be here,” Beverly said, tucking her hair behind an ear. 

“I’ve heard that one once or twice,” he teased, trying to put her more at ease. It worked. She glared at him, then she smiled, then she sighed.

“The captain gave Lilly an ultimatum. Full access to her medical records, or confinement to quarters and I run some tests for him,  _ or _ he throws her in the brig until he can send her back to Earth.”

“Any chance those tests would show something normal enough for him to let up?” he asked, feeling the knot in his stomach grow from mild concern overnight to full-blown panic.

She shook her head. “It’s the vaccinations.”

“He mentioned something about that,” Will said. “Couldn’t we argue she grew up in a Quasi-Colonial, live off the land type family? No footprint, no vaccinations, no records?”

“We  _ could,” _ Beverly said, resting her hand on the back of one of the chairs at the table. “Her lack of knowledge would be a positive, in that situation. But she’s far too sophisticated in her language for that. QC’s are anti-establishment. Running to a spaceship would be the last thing they’d do. Even posing as an ex-QC, with her archaic worldview it’s a stretch. Might be  _ more _ suspicious to a man like Jellico.”

“Is she in the brig now?” Will asked. He looked over through the doorway to his bed and hoped she wasn’t. He didn’t like the idea of having slept comfortably while Lilly was imprisoned.

“No, he gave her 24 hours to decide. Word is it was initially 12 but she talked him into double,” Beverly said with a smile. “She’s not going to go down easy.”

“She’s ready to call for our own patented Deus Ex Machina, you know. Not for herself, but for Jean-Luc,” Will told her.

Beverly looked conflicted. “Are there any better options?”

_ “Actually…” _ Will grinned as he drew the word out. “What do you think about doing the tests and bringing Jellico the DNA match?”

“What?” Beverly looked shocked.

“Think about it. We invoke the  _ idea _ of an omnipotent trickster god showing up and ruining all of Jellico’s plays with the Cardassians to get Picard back. He changes his approach, we all go back to the way it was before.” Will kept his gaze fixed on Beverly, pouring persuasion into his expression. He could see by the way her eyes narrowed that she was working all the angles out in her mind.

“He won’t call to inform Starfleet Command from Cardassian space, that’s for certain,” Beverly said. “But what about after he returns to the  _ Cairo?” _

“That’s the ‘long shot’ part of this long shot,” Will said grimly. “We’ll have to hope we can appeal to his need to be credible, if nothing else. It’s a juicy secret, but not if no one believes him.”

“And if they do, there’s that Deus Ex Rabbit to pull back out of the hat,” Beverly pointed out. “Hmm. What if they send a fleet to collect her?”

“I asked our omnipotent ‘friend’ about meddling with time once, and he said if it’s damaged too much, his kind tends to put it back, rather than make the Continuum follow rules about damaging it in the first place. I assume that would apply here.”

In saying that, Will solidified his own plans. If Lilly agreed to stay, and agreed to stay with  _ him, _ he could present the option of a ‘do-over’ in the form of multiple officers of the Enterprise crew who could call on Q to change any bad outcome he and Lilly encountered. Was it both a ridiculous trump card to have in play as well as a cheap way to cheat death, if it came to that? Sure. But to be with Lilly, Will was willing to play dirty.

That was thinking too far into the future, though. He pulled in a deep breath and looked at Beverly. She had pulled a mini PADD out of the white lab coat she’d been wearing and was tapping away at it. In the way that many actors had, she sensed that his attention was back on her, and she looked up at him. She narrowed her eyes again, focused on him now, rather than their problem.

“You’re planning something,” she said.

“I’m relieved of duty, my captain is a prisoner of war, the woman I love is about to be exiled to Earth, and we’re deep in Cardassian space on a mission I’m not allowed to know about. What could  _ possibly _ make you think I’m planning something?” he asked her, grinning.

8888888888

Lilly had followed the stone-faced security officers and Jellico through her quarters, viewing her possessions in a different light as they inspected them. The only thing that seemed to trigger the irritated captain as genuinely suspicious was the red orb from her ceremony with Riker. He’d demanded to know where she’d gotten it, and her only response was that he should check the logs from the mission to Wrinekk Prime.

After they left (and Jellico had told her she was not allowed to use the comms to contact anyone unless there was an emergency), Lilly sank onto her bed and hugged the pillow she’d replicated to be like the one she’d left in the States. A plan was forming in her mind, one that was audacious enough to excite and frighten her at the same time. 

She would agree to the testing, then once that was completed, she’d sign the form to allow access to her entire medical records for Captain Jellico. If she had the chance, she’d tell Beverly to report to him with the signed release form, and only after he questioned the outrageous results he found there would she show him the test results.

Initially Lilly had planned to simply sign the form and refuse the further tests, but that made her beholden to his ability to believe her, rather than giving her the advantage. If she was right about Jellico, he would immediately seek to protect her out of his own self-interest and that of Starfleet, no matter how ridiculous he found the situation. From that point, she hoped that she had enough bargaining power to leverage him to change his mind about rescuing Picard.

Without the ability to use the comms, Lilly considered her options. Getting Jellico to agree to Jean-Luc’s rescue was one thing, but he was a tactician, and in his shoes, she’d call the bluff and demand the plan. She needed to talk to someone who could  _ make _ the plan.

She needed to contact Will.

That thought brought a thrill with it that she tried to tamp down. Her feelings for him had only been amplified by the events of the past two days. Despite hating the mistrust and anger he’d displayed after finding the Klingon books, Lilly had needed to re-evaluate the way she saw his behavior when she looked at it in context with her precarious situation on the Enterprise. Without knowing she’d asked for permission, Riker had every right to feel betrayed. He’d only known her for a short time, and they were antagonistic toward each other for most of it!

She shut her eyes and there he was standing in front of her, persuading her that she couldn’t call for the mysterious Q, that she needed to stay. With him.

Was he serious, or was he again speaking like a diplomat, like an advocate for his ship, and lying to suit the situation? Lilly buried her head into the pillow and groaned aloud. Which was the lie? That he didn’t feel anything for her, or he did? The way he’d touched her and the anxiety in his eyes spoke of truth, but so did his firm and gentle denial in the beam at Wrinekk Prime.

Lilly looked at the clock she’d replicated. There were four hours until she needed to give Jellico her answer. Oddly, both he and the two security team members ignored the clock and its roman numeral mate in the living room as anything special. She supposed that it looked like a relic to them, at the same level as Picard’s pottery.

She set down the pillow and walked back out into the other room to sit down at the computer. Data might feel obligated to report to his captain if she contacted him, depending on how seriously he took the suspicions of the captain and the way that knowledge could intersect with his first officer duties. She started to compose a text message for Worf.

8888888888

1800 hours came and went with no fanfare. By 1825 Will was full of nervous energy as he waited to be contacted by Jellico, by Beverly, by Worf--hell, by  _ Data, _ with news of how Lilly’s decision had gone. 

At 1840, Will swore under his breath and went to his computer. His access codes weren’t  _ all _ tied to his rank; certain abilities came with his inherent rank at Starfleet, irrespective of his actual rank on a ship. That was a perk of what his previous captain had termed ‘upper management’ that helped people make good decisions even when they were forced into positions on a mission that were ordinarily considered beneath their dignity.

One of these privileges was the ability to tap into the standard recordings of all public spaces on the ship. Will was actually authorized to see other recordings, as well, including the Bridge, Engineering, and other such spaces. Picard and Jellico both had the ultimate permissions, which included the private meeting rooms unless coded as priority and secret, and all the living quarters on the ship. That was why Jean-Luc had been so careful to warn Lilly about what she said and did in her own rooms, Will knew.

It didn’t take long to pull up the recording of Sick Bay at 1800 hours. He was grateful when he saw Beverly, Jellico, and Lilly all standing together and speaking, because that meant he could ‘overhear’ what they were saying. Unfortunately, that meant that the other patients and staff of Sick Bay had also been able to listen in at the time, something he suspected was a power move by Jellico.

He played the video. Lilly was dressed in the same attractive command red shirt she’d worn to Deanna’s dinner before their public argument in Ten Forward. She stood her ground next to Jellico, who seemed to be towering over her by how close he was standing. Lilly seemed to be asking Jellico if she could speak with Beverly in private, and Jellico nodded curtly before walking away.

“I thought we would have more time to get the tests done, but he insisted on accompanying me here,” Lilly said. The sound quality wasn’t very good, as she was whispering, but Will could still understand her.

“‘Tests’ are much easier in this century, you know,” Beverly said, taking Lilly’s hand and pressing a medical device out of Will’s sight to Lilly’s arm. The doctor’s body was hiding the vantage point from that particular camera, but he didn’t switch the views, confident he understood what had just happened.

“I assume the timeframe for results is also similarly affected by technological advance?” Lilly asked, grinning at Beverly. Crusher’s response must have been via a facial expression, which Will couldn’t see.

Jellico came back after a few more seconds with a PADD. He thrust it at Lilly.

“Well?”

“I’m happy to sign,” Lilly said.

Will paused the video. Lilly didn’t seem intimidated. Instead, she seemed calm and in control of her breathing and body language. She’d clearly planned to sign. It looked like her plan was exactly the same as his, despite not having spoken to him since Jellico’s ultimatum.

Beverly must have told her, Will thought. That was the most logical explanation.

At the very back of his mind, or perhaps more accurately, in the depths of his heart, he wondered if she’d come to the same conclusions as he had, and come up with a similar plan.

Will un-paused the video and watched Lilly’s face as she watched Jellico. Jellico’s brows furrowed as he looked at what had to be Lilly’s medical records. Lilly wore an almost imperceptible smirk on her face and lifted her hand to adjust the clip in her hair. She seemed unhappy with it, taking it out and shaking her head with her face upturned before gathering some hair back up and reclipping it.

Her hand lingered on the clip, tracing it with a fingertip. Will leaned closer to see what the irregular shape was.

It was a trombone.

Will’s hand shook as he paused the video and tapped out the sequence of commands that would focus on that section of the video and enhance. His eyes hadn’t deceived him: the hair clip Lilly was wearing was a trombone.

“You beautiful, _reckless_ \--” his voice caught in his throat and didn’t let him finish the sentence. She loved him. She _loved_ him. Not only that but she was on his side, she’d deliberately chosen to wear this token of his, despite his anger at her, despite his initial rejection, despite disbelieving his plea for her to stay.

In a flurry of actions, Will brought up every single video he was authorized to view of Lilly, and in every single one from the last few days, she was wearing the clip. He went back further, back to the day Picard was relieved and she’d brazenly bluffed Jellico into giving Will more time for the duty shift transition.

It was in her hair even then.

_ “Mine,” _ Will breathed. He was almost dizzy. Affection, worry, respect, and a mad, hysterical laughter all rose up in his chest as he looked at the array of paused videos on his computer screen, each highlighting the trombone clip in Lilly’s hair. 

In a moment of absolute clarity, Will realized this was an action that was intrinsically  _ Lilly. _ He’d seen it as he looked through her photos as Lilly Windsor to show Jellico. The color of her clothing in so many of those public photographs was the very shade of red that their combined orbs had created in the ceremony on Wrinekk Prime. They were a series of love letters to him just as the clips were.

8888888888

Lilly dropped her hand from where she’d been tracing her clip and crossed her arms, still watching Jellico. A deep frown had been added to his furrowed brow.

“Dr. Crusher, surely this is not correct?  _ No _ recognizable vaccinations until a few months ago? And this DNA…”

“I assure you, it is correct,” Beverly said. “There are signs of a more rudimentary attempt at vaccination using the Salk method--”

“Presumably to appear more in line with this DNA nonsense?” Jellico lowered the PADD and saw that she was watching him.  _ “This _ is what you were hiding? How much plastic surgery and alteration did you go through for this?” He spun around to look for Dr. Crusher, loose-limbed with his clear sense of victory. “The Cardassians thought we would be fooled by  _ this? _ Laughable.” He pointed to Beverly and then back at Lilly. “Test her again. You got complacent.”

Beverly kept her composure. “Here are the results of the tests from today.” She handed him a different PADD, her other hand outstretched to receive the first one in exchange.

“I chose both options,” Lilly said.

Jellico took the PADD, but didn’t look at it. He walked back over to stand in front of her, the fingers of one hand twitching at his side. He held up the device. 

“Is this going to show the same results as the first tests?”

“Yes.”

“You’re a 21st century English Queen?” The derision in Jellico’s voice made him sound like he was nearly growling at her.

“No,” she said, pausing a few seconds. When he opened his mouth to object, she spoke again. “I’m a princess, actually. I don’t know much about my own future. Captain Picard and Dr. Crusher thought too much knowledge would be detrimental.”

Jellico did a double take. He started to say something, but it sounded like it was part of an internal notetaking process.

“Her clothing during the meeting in the Ready Room. The altered computer in her quarters--” He walked over to a wall panel, tapped it, and did a quick search only to find the results inaccessible. “You locked down all access to the file for Quee-- to her file?” he asked Beverly. She nodded. “Across the whole ship?” Again, Beverly nodded.

Jellico’s shoulders dropped as he faced away from Lilly, and for the first time since she walked into Sick Bay, she let herself relax in kind. He turned around, looking a little wild around the edges, but she watched as the severe man she’d argued with swallowed his pride and plastered on a smile.

“Don’t,” Lilly said, shaking her head. She didn’t want false platitudes or standing on stupid ceremony, least of all from this man in particular.

“Don’t what? Don’t admit I’m beaten? That’s part of being a leader. If you don’t know that by now, you’ll learn.” He stared at her hair, her hands, her face, then her hair again, as if amazed by the way he recognized certain parts of her that were the same as her historical self.

“Your suspicions were perfectly logical. It’s just the reason you were wrong that’s lacking in logic!” she protested. “I walked through a doorway in the palace grounds and found myself here. I haven’t even met the entity that brought me here. I don’t know anything about him.” She hugged her arms around herself and added, “I wouldn’t have said anything about it if you hadn’t pushed for the medical records.”

“How did this  _ happen?” _ Jellico asked, the artificially jovial attitude he’d started to affect gone in favor of stark curiosity.

“That I can’t really tell you. The being that caused it was gone by the time I arrived,” Lilly told him. He turned to look for Beverly, who had stepped away to tend to an injury. 

“Doctor?” Jellico called out. Beverly walked over quickly enough that Lilly assumed that she’d kept one eye on the two of them in case she was needed. “What do you know about this ‘being’ that brought her here?”

“Have you ever heard of the Norse myth of Loki?” she asked, her tone dry. There was an undercurrent of distaste in her voice that seemed to track with the tone nearly anyone used when talking about this Q person.

“Vaguely,” Jellico said. “Which part applies? Clever, omnipotent, or mischievous?”

“Yes,” Lilly and Beverly said at the same time.

“If it’s hard to believe, I suggest you check Captain Picard’s logs. We’ve had multiple encounters with him. He appears to be obsessed with Jean-Luc,” Beverly added.

“A time traveling Queen with DNA evidence to back her up I can buy. A race of Norse gods is a step too far!” He pointed at Lilly as if she’d engineered the entire Sick Bay encounter to give him grief. “What is all of this about? What do you want?”

Now Lilly felt angry. She hadn’t  _ asked _ to tell this man truths that could force her to cut short her time on the Enterprise! “This whole thing was your show, Captain. What do  _ you _ want?” Her tone was far more angry than she’d meant it to sound, but she stood her ground anyway.

He threw his arms up beside his head in obvious frustration and let them drop. “I got what I wanted: the certainty that you are or are not a Cardassian agent. You are clearly not. I’m certain that had they known of your existence, they’d have engineered  _ your _ capture, not Picard’s.”

“So, am I free to go?” Lilly pressed.

“As much as I’m sure it’s exciting to have the run of a starship, it was irresponsible for Picard to have kept you here,” Jellico said, shaking his head paternalistically. “There’s no point in confining you now, but when we are done with this mission, we’ll head straight back to Earth. I’m sure they can protect you until the way to send you back safely has been discovered.”

Lilly’s heart sank. Beverly slipped an arm around her and squeezed, something that Lilly took to mean ‘it’s not worth the fight.’ Despite wanting to argue about  _ many _ different things in Jellico’s statement, she knew that his choices were exactly what someone in his position ought to do, given what he knew.

“The most important thing I have to ask right now is: is this ‘Loki’ being going to show up here?”

Lilly and Beverly looked at each other, and Lilly saw the light of hope in Beverly’s eyes.

“Well, he  _ is _ pretty attached to Jean-Luc…” Beverly said, her voice the perfect split between coy and informative.

Lilly gently pulled free from the doctor and moved closer to Jellico, who stood with eyes narrowed as he looked at the two of them.

“I am not asking to be privy to your decisions, captain. I’m not demanding that you change your mind, either. All I ask is that if your plan didn’t initially include a way to get Jean-Luc Picard back from his captors, please reconsider. I would never think to threaten you, but the truth is that the being that brought me here has some pretty unimaginable powers. I think you would understand the temptation to simply call on him to make this whole situation go away.”

“You’d ‘never think to threaten,’” Jellico said with deep sarcasm, his expression still that of a trapped person evaluating their options. 

Lilly felt guilty about that to a certain extent, right up until she reminded herself that he’d taken five minutes to essentially throw her off of the ship after telling her of Picard’s capture. 

“Well,” Captain Jellico said, his demeanor lifting as he clapped his hands together in front of him and pointed them at Lilly. “Thank you for your valuable information. As you may imagine, I have a ship to run. I will lift your restrictions, with the caveat that I expect you to keep away from locations such as Engineering, and other places on the ship which tend to be more volatile when the ship takes enemy fire.” He smiled at her, and incredibly, it seemed a genuine one. “I will do everything in my power to ensure that human history is protected in the coming confrontation with the Cardassians.”

“With all due respect, captain, I would have no idea where those places would be,” Lilly said. She really wondered what kind of a decision the man had made.

“I’m sure you can ask Riker. He’s got more free time now.” With that, Jellico turned and strode quickly toward the door of Sick Bay, leaving without another word.


	18. The Road To Hell (Reprise)

###  Chapter Eighteen: The Road To Hell (Reprise)

Lilly pressed the chime doorbell and waited to hear Will’s response. She felt both excited and wicked, as if at any moment, Jellico would appear and find her conspiring with the disgraced ex-Commander. He  _ had _ told her to seek him out, though, hadn’t he?

“Come!” 

The response came after a long delay, and when the door opened, Riker wasn’t standing nearby to greet her. She walked in hesitantly to see that he was sitting at his computer desk, staring intently at the screen. Lilly moved closer, unsure whether she should speak or trust him to look up to see who had come in. When she was a few feet away, she saw that his screen was full of various pictures of her head, focused on the trombone clip.

She froze, her heart pounding, both aching for and dreading the sight of his face when he would turn to see her. Would his blue eyes light up? Or would they be kind, but full of gentle regret and censure? It was a moment of truth, and she didn’t feel equal to the pressure of it.

Then he did turn his head, and Lilly was reminded of a moment Picard had shared with her on the holodeck. He’d told her about a room on his previous ship, the Stargazer, that was particularly stunning when it was in high orbit over Earth. The sun’s rays came through the window and illuminated everything with blindingly beautiful, genuine sunlight.

Will’s expression was like that; the warmth of his gaze and the approval he radiated washed over her and gave her life. It was almost as familiar and beloved as Earth’s sun to her, and until now it had seemed as distant.

He hopped to his feet but then froze in place, just looking at her.

“I’m in love with you,” he said, simple and direct. “I don’t know why I ever tried to fight it. Your gravity is inexorable.” 

His grin at that last sentence was the very smile she’d always wished he would direct toward her. He stayed still, and she couldn’t stop herself from moving toward him. As she approached, Lilly saw his hands flex. It seemed like he was holding himself back from reaching for her, and she appreciated it. He was letting her choose to come to him instead of taking charge, as was his usual instinct. Lilly was reminding herself to breathe inside her own head as she covered the final distance between them. 

“You pull me in. You always have,” she said, sliding her arms around him and kissing his chest before resting her cheek against it. His own arms came around her, crushing her to him tightly. He kissed her hair, then kissed her hair clip.

“Stay. You have to stay,” he said in a hoarse whisper.

“You watched us in Sick Bay?” she asked, needing to dodge that issue for the moment.

“Mmhmm, but only long enough to see your symbol of resistance,” he said into her hair. His grip around her loosened, and she held on, shaking her head and making a sound of protest. “I’m not letting you go,” he promised her, a gentle chuckle in his voice.

“I feel like you’re the only thing keeping me from flying apart into atoms!” she confessed.

“In that case--”

Will shifted his grip and picked her up as he’d done two times before. Instinctively, Lilly held on, and he dipped his head down to kiss her briefly.

“I held myself back, that day. You are gorgeous when you’re angry with me,” he said with a broad, impudent grin. He carried her over to the couch, but instead of sitting her down, he simply sat and settled her on his lap. Lilly took the opportunity to thread her fingers through the hair on the nape of his neck. His eyes slid shut and he made a small little noise in the back of his throat.

Lilly surged up to kiss him, and Will framed her face with one hand, finally taking charge. She shifted her weight so that she was straddling him, burying both of her hands in his hair. Will’s hand splayed out on the small of her back, under her shirt, and his mouth on hers was hot and possessive and wonderful. Lilly kept trying to get closer to him, rocking closer and gasping when he pressed up against her at the same time that their tongues finally met.

When they broke for air, he pressed his forehead against hers. “I am trespassing,” he whispered, stroking his fingers against her cheek. His eyes were bright, nearly manic. “I ought to care, but I don’t. I wanted you, I wished-- and then I saw this, and knew you were mine.” He traced the pads of his fingers over the trombone clip, then sank his hand into her hair, stroking through it and down her neck, around to her chin, and across her lips.

“Yours,” Lilly agreed, overcome. “But you’re not trespassing. You’re giving me back my agency, letting me take charge of my own life.” She sat back on his lap so he could see the truth in her expression. “The one who brought me here, he had a reason?” He nodded, taking one of her hands in his and brushing his thumb against her palm.

“You wouldn’t appreciate the reason,” Will said. His tone was dire. Then, he smiled ruefully. “Though I freely admit he wasn’t the only one to have a crush on you before you showed up here.”

“Oh?” Lilly said, noting that his cheeks had a tinge of red to them. “Is that really your fault, though?” she asked, lifting their joined hands to kiss the back of his. Will took the opportunity to twist his hand around to sink his fingers into her hair and tug her close for another kiss. Lilly had almost forgotten the point she’d been trying to make by the time they broke apart.

“So how is loving you not my fault?” Will asked, brushing his nose against her cheek and up into her hair.

“Well, by the time I go back, I’ll have already loved you. For all we know I spend the rest of my life in the past hiding loving gestures and things I know you’d enjoy in all of my video journals!” Lilly said. She sat up, adrenaline chasing a sense of anxiety through her veins. “Did I do that? That’s hugely irresponsible! Tell me, did I do that?” she demanded, her eyes wide.

“I haven’t watched any of them in years, but I think I would remember if you had. You do profess a love of jazz, however,” he teased, smoothing his hands along her upper arms. “And you wear a  _ lot _ of deep red.”

“I have always loved that color…”

Will took in a sudden breath. “There was one thing, but knowing you it was still probably a coincidence. Do you remember the musical you asked Data about, at his art exhibition?” She nodded, and he continued, looking up at the ceiling as if trying to remember more accurately. “I listened to some of it that night. There’s a line in the duet where the male lead says,  _ ‘I knew you before we met, and I don’t even know you yet.’” _ He dropped his gaze back down and met Lilly’s eyes, looking a bit shaken. “That line hit me like a phaser blast. It seemed like it was written for me, for  _ us.” _

“I loved that line, too,” Lilly said, looking down at the folds of his blue shirt. “I’ve always loved that about music, the way things written across the centuries can still resonate.” She thought about the lines from  _ Romeo and Juliet _ that she’d happened on earlier that day. The idea that she had love enough to spread it across two lifetimes was definitely relevant right now, nearly a thousand years after they’d been written. “I don’t think I would ever risk the future of humanity to even obliquely mention my time here, though.” She shivered and leaned over to rest against his chest. “For some reason, even though that’s the right thing to do, thinking about having to pretend I never lived this life at all is making me sad.”

“‘Focus on the things we can change,’” Will said. She could hear his words rumbling through his chest underneath her head. Lilly murmured a sound of encouragement, and he continued. “That’s what my favorite teacher told me, when he realized my father was too absorbed in his own life and career to pay any attention to what I was doing. The school tried to conference him in, they sent letters, all kinds of things, all without telling me, until finally, Mr. Falloway told me not to worry about getting his permission or signature on anything we needed. ‘Focus on the things you can change, and refuse to own the regret about the things you can’t.’”

Something occurred to Lilly, and she lifted her head and grinned. “Something tells me it was particularly important to instruct  _ you _ on which things you couldn’t change,” she said.

“Who, me?” Will’s eyebrows shot up as he pretended to be surprised. “I can name more times than I could count on both hands that we pulled the Enterprise out of a dangerous situation by changing something that seemed impossible.”

“Like right now?” she prompted.

“Like right now,” he agreed.  _ “Without _ the need to call on outside help, hopefully.”

She slid her arms around him, pushing her hand between his warm back and the couch cushion. “How long can I realistically stay here, though, even if we don’t call for help, or even if we do and he doesn’t come?”

“I thought of that,” Will said, kissing her temple. “Realistically, no crew stays static forever. I’ll be offered another command, and I’ll need to take it. I’ll  _ want _ to take it. But, separate from the others, we’re even more protected.” His leg started to bounce and then stopped almost immediately, but Lilly saw it as a signal that he was anxious about the words he was about to say. She kissed his chest.

“Go on?”

“Your kidnapper is our ace in the hole, insurance for our future. After we pass this crisis and things go back to normal, after well-deserved promotions are taken and some of us move on, you and I will have allies in multiple different places. That’s to our advantage because of something he told me before you showed up. He said that his people don’t prevent time travelers from changing things for the worse, they simply show up and fix it, if it happens. We can rely on that,” Will said.

Lilly sat up and, after turning to make sure the couch arm was beside them, she slid over to rest her back against it, with her legs still resting on his lap.

“You’re saying, what? That if something happens to me, it’s in his best interest to fix it, so the only obstacle to overcome is getting him the message so he can do that?” she asked, trying to see if she understood him.

“Exactly,” Will said approvingly. He rested one arm on the back of the couch and ran the other through his hair, all tension seemingly gone now. “That’s the only way to avoid  _ this, _ what we’re going through right now. The constant worry that the only responsible and right thing to do would be to call on him.”

Lilly gasped. The beauty of his suggestion was finally becoming clear. She stared at Will and saw that he was watching her with an intense focus.

“We make a pact,” he said in a low, emotional voice. “As much of a lifetime together as we can, without the sword of damocles hanging over us. If a situation comes when we think we have no other choice,  _ then _ we’ll let it drop, together. A shared decision.”

“You never stop being a leader, do you?” Lilly whispered. “You’re leading me to the place of feeling able to stay, rolling out a red carpet of a life we’ll have to cross this crevasse first in order to even get to! What if we can’t figure out how to save Picard without calling for the sword?” She gestured with her hands wildly as she spoke, and the contrast between her movements and his hands at rest was a stark one. He didn’t seek to comfort her after she stopped talking, either, but instead, spoke a simple and devastating truth.

“Then we’ll be miserable together in the future waiting for it to fall, day after day.”

“I don’t want to live like that,” Lilly admitted quietly.

“Neither do I,” Will said. They looked at each other for many seconds before he moved his hand down to hold it, palm up, for her to grab.

Without hesitation, Lilly reached down and clasped it.

8888888888

Will talked with Lilly into the evening and realized as they spoke that her body language was slowly unraveling into relaxation over the hour and a half they’d been speaking. To his surprise, the subject had been more about his own childhood and adolescence, the shared experience of losing a parent (her adoptive father had passed when she was a few years older than Will had been), and the differences between a single parent focused on their child’s health and welfare on her part, and the absence of such a thing on his.

To his very great relief, the spectre of having used her as a girlfriend persona during his Academy days didn’t appear, partly because she became quite drowsy before he got to the first year at Starfleet Academy, and partly because her generous and loving nature meant he didn’t find himself feeling as guilty as he’d anticipated. 

He got up to use the bathroom and came back, as he’d expected, to find Lilly asleep on the couch in a curled up ball, her hand resting on the warm spot he’d left behind. Will decided not to wake her. He’d planned to spend this evening as he had the night before-- speaking to friends and colleagues to find out what he could about their captain’s plans.

He risked stopping by Engineering to see Geordi but caught Lieutenant Barclay at the end of Gamma shift.

“Hey, Reg,” Will said. “I was looking for Geordi, have you seen him?”

“Commander! Wait, am I still allowed to call you that? Not that I’m trying to imply you deserved to be relieved, sir, because you definitely did not--”

“Thanks, Lieutenant,” Will said, cutting him off. He forced a smile, not because he disliked Barclay, but because, even though he didn’t feel like smiling much, Reg had told him that he trusted Will to stop his rambling as long as he didn’t seem too upset about it. “I keep the rank, just not the position. There are multiple Lieutenant Commanders on the ship, but only one Chief Engineer, for example.”

Barclay squeezed his eyes shut for a second and nodded. “Right, I knew that.” He stepped closer to Will and leaned over conspiratorially. “Captain Jellico and Commander La Forge have been working closely together for the past two shifts. Word is that there’s a tricky shuttle mission and they’re looking for a pilot. Too bad for them he relieved you of duty, right Commander?” Barclay was an inch away from nudging Will with an elbow until Will lifted his eyebrows.

“I appreciate the information, Lieutenant, but that kind of thinking is bad for the ship,” Will noted, not harshly. “If the captain needs me to fly a shuttle for him, all he has to do is ask.”

“Right, of course, yes,” Barclay said, nodding over and over. “Well, you’re the best, if you don’t mind my saying so.”

“Thanks. See you around,” Will said, giving him a quick nod and leaving Engineering.

The atmosphere in Ten Forward was tense. The ship had been stopped near a nebula for some hours by then, and speculation was rife about the reason. Most of the talk was just that, empty talk, but after hearing more about a vague but dangerous shuttle mission from a few more crew members, Will saw Geordi walk in, followed closely by Data. The android officer was almost but not quite guiding Geordi, who looked tired. Will hung back for a bit to watch them, hoping Geordi was simply tired and not upset or sick for any reason.

Will rested his arm on the bar, and was there when Data came by.

“Guinan, is there an advised supplement for concern?”

“Concern?” Guinan asked, her expression fond but confused.

“Yes. Geordi is tired. Ordinarily in that situation, humans seek out a stimulant, but it is close to bedtime for him. His secondary issue is, I believe, worry and concern over an upcoming mission. I do not believe he needs anything clinically, hence my question.”

“Well reasoned, Data,” Guinan said with sincerity. “Do you know if he has a favorite? Something comforting is good for concern, but that varies from person to person.”

“Ah! That is helpful, thank you.” Data was silent for a minute, and Will exchanged glances with Guinan.

“Chocolate is a well known comfort food,” Will said.

“I’ve seen him get this drink before,” Guinan held out a saucer with a mug full of a deep, inviting brown color. “It has chocolate, cinnamon, and some other spices in it. He’s only gotten it twice, but both times he seemed to really enjoy it.”

“Thank you,” Data said. He carefully took the saucer and walked, no,  _ speedwalked _ it to the table where Geordi sat. After setting it in front of the chief engineer, Data sat across from him, and Will saw Geordi reach out to squeeze Data’s hand.

“I had planned to go speak with them, but I think I’m going to leave it,” Will said, feeling almost like he was eavesdropping, for all that his two friends were sitting in the middle of a busy lounge.

“That’s probably a good idea. Besides, I talked to Geordi earlier today,“ Guinan said casually. “He stopped by for a small glass of the energy drink from Elar I keep behind the bar.”

“Oh?” Will asked, grinning. 

“You can’t have any. You don’t need any more confidence.  _ Anyway,” _ she said, emphasizing the word as the subject changer he recognized it to be. “--the gist of it is, they’re going to need you.”

“I gathered as much,” Will admitted.

“You going to make him ask?”

‘Him’ in this case didn’t mean Geordi, he knew. Instead of saying anything in answer, Will simply grinned.

8888888888

Lilly wasn’t on the couch when Will got back, but that was fine with him. She needed some sleep, and he had some thinking to do.

For the next two hours, Will spent time calculating, drafting, and scrapping various plans to rescue Jean-Luc Picard from a hostile Cardassian ship. He had practically nothing to show for his time except exhaustion and frustration when he finally gave up. He did not want to stage a mutiny, just a rescue, but all that he was left with was the conclusion that he’d need a lot of help from people whose careers he had zero intention of ruining by asking them to help him. Even if he was granted use of a shuttle and completed whatever mission that Jellico was recruiting for, he couldn’t come up with anything more than a failed suicide mission that gave the Cardassians fatal leverage over both the Enterprise and the Federation.

After the twentieth time he scrubbed his hands through his hair, Will decided to sleep on it.

That was when he discovered that Lilly hadn’t left his quarters at all. She’d just moved into his bed to sleep, instead.

Will stood in the doorway to his bedroom for a long time just watching her. He remembered a moment he’d overheard in Worf’s quarters before the mission to Celtris III. Worf had offered to move his things so that she could sleep in the master bedroom of his quarters during the time she’d be watching Alexander. Lilly had demurred, pointing out that this might give the boy a negative impression of both the permanence of Worf’s absence as well as signifying a big change in their lives.

As it had happened, Worf had returned unscathed and Lilly’s worries about optics had turned out to be unfounded, but the exchange felt particularly relevant to Will now. Did Lilly recognize the significance of her choice to make herself at home? He welcomed it,  _ relished _ it, even, but that wasn’t the point. Simply by virtue of having overheard what she’d said, her action held greater significance to him now. It made him feel loved,  _ chosen. _

He’d always had a healthy ego and no one could accuse him of not being ambitious. Still, there was being justifiably proud of one’s accomplishments, and then there was feeling worthy of being the companion of a historical queen!

He shook his head and walked in to brush his teeth. Neither he nor Lilly really saw her as the potential future ruler she would someday be, he was almost certain of that. She was simply Lilly Picard, feisty thinker and kind companion.

And his. Even if that thought made him more closely related to his caveman ancestors than their descendants that sailed through the stars. Even if he knew he couldn’t keep her with him as long as they both would live.

8888888888

Lilly woke feeling cozy but just a bit too warm. As she usually did when she woke up, she stretched her legs out before opening her eyes, and when she did, she found that her feet weren’t the only feet in the bed.

Her eyes popped open and she looked toward that side of the bed to make eye contact with Will, who was stretched out unnaturally, his arm laid across his hip and the other acting as a pillow, since she had the only one from the bed. Behind him, the nightstand was turned sideways. An awful suspicion rose in her mind, and she pushed herself up on one arm to look behind him.

“Did you… did you  _ move your nightstand _ to help keep you on the bed?” she asked, her voice still muzzy and low from sleep.

“Maybe,” Will said, his eyes locked onto hers, dark and admiring. He held still and just looked at her for a long moment.

“You should have just kicked me out,” she said, self consciously. “You’re going to need an entire skeletal adjustment after sleeping like that!”

“As long as you’re doing the adjusting,” he said, reaching out for her free hand and kissing it. Then, he said, “All right, look away, you were definitely right.”

“You did! You  _ moved furniture _ to keep from falling off of the bed! That is ridiculously chivalrous and was completely unnecessary, you know,” Lilly said, truly moved by the implications. She’d heard jokes about ‘Commander Riker, admirer of women’ in far cruder tones than she was willing to remember in her own mind, but the reality was far more romantic and genuinely respectful than she imagined anyone who had been gossiping about him would ever guess.

Will hissed as he finally stood straight after clambering out of the bed and gingerly stretching out each arm.

“I don’t fit on the couch,” he said, grinning. “I also promised my younger self that if I ever had a chance to sleep with a beautiful woman, I would always make the right choices about that. Granted, his opinion on what the ‘right choice’ might have differed last night, but…” he let the sentence trail away and walked over to her side of the bed. “The truth is, I couldn’t walk away from you. Gravity, remember?”

Lilly nodded and slid her feet over the side and stood up, his blanket wrapped around her despite the fact that she was still fully clothed. She arched up on her tiptoes and Will cupped her cheek with a hand and kissed her just as she was hoping he would. It was a tender kiss, the kind a couple exchanged when they weren’t worried about seeing each other again and repeating the gesture.

When Will pulled away, his eyes were twinkling impishly. “Just don’t tell your husband!” he said, pulling away from her and deftly sidestepping her hand as she swatted at him.

“You are every bit as degenerate as your reputation, Will Riker!” she called out as he retreated into the bathroom. His laugh was the only thing she heard as a response.

8888888888

Lilly trusted that Will would understand her decision to leave his quarters in favor of her own, so she didn’t wait for him to finish his shower before she left. In the short time it took to walk down the hall on Deck Seven, Captain Jellico left his quarters, presumably to begin Alpha shift. 

“You slept somewhere else last night.” Jellico said this in the most disappointed dad voice Lilly had ever heard. “Was it Lieutenant Worf again?” he asked, confrontational and clearly angry. 

Her first instinct was to deny his assumption, but Lilly stayed silent and kept her hand on the controls for her quarters. She didn’t expect that she could simply open the door and disappear inside without any consequences, but she would be happy to flee if he was just going to chastise her and move on.

“Since I’ve come aboard, you’ve spent more nights away from your quarters than not!” Jellico said incredulously. “You’d only just discovered your heritage when you were brought here, you said? It seems clear that you have a lot to learn about leadership and responsibility, young lady. You are hereby confined to quarters. All contact with Lieutenant Worf is strictly prohibited. Stay right there!”

The captain turned his back on her and tapped his comm, calling for Data to code in strict restrictions for her, including a force field that would deny entry to any person whose rank was Lieutenant Commander or below.

The unfairness of his assumptions stung, but Lilly kept her lips closed and her chin raised high. Will had told her about the confrontation with Jellico where he had been relieved of duty, and nothing about what he’d done seemed to warrant the removal. She felt sure that Jellico’s superiors would see the action as impulsive and driven more by anger and a perception of insubordination than the actual presence of such behavior. Her behavior was similarly beyond reproach, she felt, and as such, arguing with the temporary captain seemed like it would only make things worse.

“Where were you last night?” Jellico interrupted her reverie, and she looked up from the floor where she’d been staring while she’d been thinking.

“Ask Worf, if you’re so certain I’ve been irresponsible with him!” Lilly blurted out, overcome by a sense of rising fury. “After all, I’m  _ just _ a primitive 21st century woman, right? I can’t help myself!” She pressed the button for the door to her quarters and shot her eyebrows up in a silent question for Jellico.

“Go on, then. Touched a nerve, I see!”

Lilly walked into her quarters and let the door shut behind her. Jellico’s parting shot reminded her of the thing Will had said to her about how he seemed severely lacking in interpersonal skills while being hyper focused on mission. She was suddenly _very_ grateful that it was Jean-Luc Picard who was descended from her union with her future 21st century husband, and not Edward Jellico. The atmosphere on his ship was probably quite uncomfortable in comparison.

She started pacing, glad she had the door to her quarters set to remain shut until triggered, rather than having it act like a supermarket sliding door. Outside, she could hear Jellico barking orders, and she wondered if Data had been summoned to the corridor or whether the captain was speaking over the comm.

“Computer, play  _ Road to Hell, _ maximum volume, please?” she said impulsively.

It was loud, undoubtedly audible through the closed doors just as Jellico’s angry voice had been, and Lilly finally started the process of calming herself down with deep, slow breaths in and out.  _ Hadestown _ was her rebellion, she told herself. Jazz was no stranger to being the sound of rebellion and shouting back at authority, after all.

Even though the lyrics meant more to her on  _ this _ day than they had the first time she’d heard them, Lilly still took comfort in them. She wasn’t Persephone, as she’d first feared. She was Eurydice-- destined to leave a love behind. She hoped she wouldn’t be forced to spend time with Q, but she  _ would _ have to leave Will behind, eventually.

Lilly decided that now wasn’t the time to worry about that. One journey at a time, she told herself as she hummed along.

_ It’s a sad song, _

_ A sad song! _

_ It’s a sad tale--it’s a tragedy! _

_ It’s a sad song, _

_ But we’re gonna sing it anyway… _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: In the musical Hadestown, it tells two stories inspired by greek mythology. The story of Hades and Persephone mirrors in some ways the way that Q took Lilly from her own time into his. The story of Eurydice and Orpheus is less of a parallel to the love story of Will and Lilly, but it doesn’t end happily ever after, and neither can theirs (If you look up the story, you should know that Hadestown doesn’t follow the ‘senselessly murdered at her wedding’ route, so don’t worry about that if you choose to use Google!), ultimately. The question, of course, is how long the two of them will have before that unhappy ending.
> 
> As the author, I can assure you it is longer than they worried would be the case!


	19. A Hail Mary of a Nuclear Option

###  Chapter Nineteen: A Hail Mary of a Nuclear Option

Will heard the door chime to his quarters approximately ten minutes after the senior crew meeting and wondered which of his colleagues he’d be greeting. He swiveled the computer chair to face the door.

“Come!”

It was Worf.

“Sir, Captain Jellico intends to _take_ _control_ of Lilly. He sees her as a historical object that the crew of the Enterprise has mishandled.” The gravel in Worf’s tone told Will exactly how he felt about that.

“I take it she was one of the subjects of the morning meeting?” Will asked, leaning back in the chair so he could look up at Worf, who had walked over to stand quite close.

“He has confined her to quarters for  _ misbehavior.” _

Will sat up, then stood. “He knows she didn’t return to her quarters last night?” he asked grimly.

“He believes she and I are conducting an affair. I have been warned to stay away from her pending a disciplinary review,” Worf said. He sounded as if he were far less disgusted with these events than his earlier statements.

“What did Jellico say when you explained that he was wrong?”

Worf grinned. “I did not do so. A review will show I have not behaved dishonorably. I would not presume to perform his duties for him.”

“Is she confined with no visitors?” Will asked next.

“No visitors of rank Lieutenant or below,” Worf answered.

“That’s the first time I’ve been grateful for a rank disparity,” Will joked.

“I do not believe that Lilly would be safer if removed from the Enterprise or its crew,” Worf said firmly. “If we cannot rely on Captain Picard to overrule Captain Jellico’s orders, then we must seek a different option.”

“I am not willing to call on any member of the Continuum. Not yet, anyway,” Will said, just as firmly.

“You misunderstand me, Sir. If Jellico succeeds in removing Lilly from the ship, she should not be alone.”

It took Will a good ninety seconds before he realized exactly what Worf was getting at. When he did, he immediately knew it was the right choice if they could pull it off, and not just because the very thought was enough to make him slightly lightheaded.

8888888888

The chime of someone at the door was the last thing Lilly expected so soon after her confinement, but she called out for whoever it was to come in. She was wearing a form-fitting sweatshirt complete with a hood and cozy front pocket, and she tucked the red orb from Wrinekk Prime into it as an extra mood booster as she walked over to greet whoever had ‘knocked.’

To her great surprise, she saw that it was Data, still in his first officer uniform, and Will in civilian clothes, close behind him.

“Well, come in, you two! I can’t say I was expecting you.”

“The official purpose of my visit is to inform you that your correspondence has been confiscated and encrypted. I have persuaded the captain that there is no need to reply to the Wrinekki Ambassador on your behalf, however,” Data said formally.

“Shoot, that sucks, thanks,” Lilly said, frowning. Behind Data, Will suddenly coughed, and she narrowed her eyes at him, noting that he seemed less afflicted than amused.

“Well shucks, Commander, I’m just a hick from the States, ain’t no reason to pretend otherwise!” she said, exaggerating a stereotypical accent. “I mean, I can’t even be trusted to freely walk around, these days!”

“About that,” Will said, walking around Data to stand in front of her. “We have some ideas.” He jerked his head toward the android officer.

“Oh? I assume it’s something more dramatic than smuggling me out of the room in one of your uniforms and hiding me in guest quarters. I’m pretty sure even someone of  _ your _ rank can’t obscure life signs from the captain,” Lilly said.

“It’s dramatic, all right,” Will said, chuckling. Lilly looked at him more closely and saw that he was carrying an odd kind of nervous energy, but he didn’t seem upset or uncomfortable. She wondered what the two of them could have come up with that had Will so jittery, yet still confident.

“Multiple members of the senior crew of the ship have expressed concern about the captain’s plans to remove you to Earth,” Data said. “Ideally, we would rescue Captain Picard and rely on his negotiation skills, but should that option fail, Lieutenant Worf, Commander Riker, and I have a second option.”

Lilly had already been holding the orb in her right palm, but she stuffed her left hand into her sweatshirt pocket and interlocked her fingers together, drawing on the comfort of the warmed stone. She nodded to Data to continue.

“When they came to me, I did some quick research, helped along by the reminder of your letter from Ambassador Arnokk. It appears that, for committed couples who are not yet joined together by a ritual from their own culture, the ceremony you and Commander Riker participated in on Wrinekk Prime could be considered a binding marriage rite,” Data said. 

Her heart did a complete flip-flop in her chest on hearing those words, even though they were spoken with Data’s characteristic flat intonation.

“Data, Captain Jellico confined me to quarters for daring to seem like I was having a sexual relationship with a Lieutenant,” Lilly said, hating that her first instinct was to shoot down this Hail Mary of a nuclear option. “If he finds out that I went and tried to prove Commander Riker and I  _ got married _ before I’ve spent even two hours stuck in my rooms, he’ll probably put me into a medically induced coma!” At this, Will stopped trying to pretend to cough and let himself chuckle. “Besides that, does anyone in this room think that Mr. Interpersonal Skills himself would even  _ recognize _ a ceremony like that as binding?”

“There’s a solution to that, you know,” Will said, his smile gentle, blue eyes glittering with purpose.

“Even if we could get Arnokk to fax over a Wrinekki marriage certificate, I don’t think that would help much,” Lilly said wryly.

Data held up a finger, then frowned, and put it back down. Lilly imagined that he’d recognized her 20th century reference, had been about to say something relevant about the technology of fax machines, then realized it was likely to be information she shouldn’t really have, all things considered. Either that or he saw that this was not the time for random facts about faxes.

“Without the prior, provable ceremony, Jellico could see this as a new, manufactured relationship designed to protect you from an outside consequence,” Will said.

“Similar to the objections of Ambassador Arnokk, prior to your revelation of a prior attachment to Lilly,” Data said.

“Wait, I think I’m missing some important context, here,” Lilly said, looking from Data to Will, then back to Data.

“Later, I promise,” Will said, his expression fond with an edge of promise to it. “My point is, the Wrinekki ceremony brings an air of authenticity with it that we can use.”

“Use for…” Lilly dangled, still completely convinced that the only thing that a prior alien wedding ceremony could do would be antagonize an already furious Captain Jellico.

Will stepped forward. “Marry me.”

Lilly ignored the rushing sound in her ears and smirked at him. “Didn’t you just get done telling me we’re already married?”

“Is that a roman numeral clock? I will leave the two of you to discuss this as I walk over to inspect it,” Data said, walking away quickly.

_ “You,” _ Will said, coming over and pulling her close with an arm hooked around her waist. “I spent  _ hours _ watching your holovids and still I can’t predict what you’ll say or do at any given moment!”

“You love it,” Lilly murmured, stretching up on her tiptoes to kiss him briefly before dropping down and shooting a glance over at Data.

“I  _ really _ do,” Will agreed. “Well?”

“Is that meant to be a proposal? I know you have a royal consort as a rival, but you don’t have to go in the  _ completely _ opposite direction! I mean, I assume he went all out. Authentic, too, since there’s no such thing as a holodeck in  _ my  _ century,” Lilly said archly.

Will looked down at her in a mix of affection and exasperation, and as much as Lilly loved it, she felt her face fall as she realized the extent of what he was really offering her.

“No. My answer is no,” she said, stepping back even as she laid both of her hands on his chest to try to soften the blow. “You are  _ not allowed _ to throw away your career for me. Absolutely not.”

Will cupped her face with both hands and kissed her with none of the fire or persuasion she would have expected. Instead, his lips were gentle, tender, and understanding. Even in the midst of enjoying the kiss, his gentle acquiescence made Lilly push back at his complete  _ bullshit.  _ There wasn’t a chance Will would simply agree with her like that. His grip on her was inexorable, though, so Lilly tried another tactic.

She pressed up against him, sliding her hands around his neck and lifting one of her legs to fold it around him in as provocative a manner as she could. Will groaned, and his kiss turned possessive, combative, and fiery. One hand slid down to cup her ass and the other threaded through her hair and  _ gripped,  _ taking charge and holding her still in a show of dominance that left her needy and shaken by how much she liked it. The only thing she could do as revenge was lock her hands behind his neck and hop up, meaning to wrap her legs around him if he caught her the way she hoped he would.

He did, turning to up the ante by pressing her against the wall. She moaned at the unmistakable evidence of how much he wanted her even as, freed from the need to hold her up, his hand came around, wide-gripped and greedy, sliding under the sweatshirt to seek her breast.

The only thing that brought them out of the battle was the hard, unyielding presence of the orb inside her shirt pocket that Will encountered instead. He broke the kiss and leaned his upper body back to give space as he hefted it, confused until she reached down and showed him where the holes for the pocket were, from the front, at the sides.

When Will pulled out the orb, he let out a long breath and looked at her with such a naked affection and love that she caught her own breath and bit her lip at the intensity of it.

“You couldn’t have known,” he said, his voice low and sexy in a way she definitely planned to explore at some hopeful point in the future.

“Sometimes I just hold it,” she admitted in a shy, quiet voice. “For courage.”

“So who won, just there?” he whispered, quirking an eyebrow over mischievous blue eyes.

“Isn’t a marriage meant to be a partnership? If you win, I win,” Lilly said. She shut her eyes and shook her head just a slight bit, still overwhelmed by the current turn of events. “I can’t believe--”

“‘Refuse to own the regret for the things you can’t change,’ remember?” Will prompted, reminding her of the evening they’d spent the night before.

Lilly nodded, then, taking advantage of the fact that he was holding her higher than her natural height, leaned over to kiss his neck.

“I think I know you just well enough to understand that you meant that to be affectionate, but you should know that  _ that _ particular area has a very different designation,” Will whispered in her ear, his tone rich with both amusement and obvious desire. He gently lowered her feet to the floor, kissed her cheek, and stepped back. 

“So what’s the plan, then?” Lilly asked, feeling the bright flush of blood that had to be painting her cheeks red.

“Excuse me, Sir,” Data called out. Lilly looked over to see that the android was faced away from them with his arms at rest at his sides. 

“Go on, Data?” Will said.

“It is nearing ten hundred hours. I would advise you to ensure you are both presentable.”

“Oh, my God,” Lilly whispered to herself, leaning over to rest her forehead on Will’s chest. “What does he mean, other than, ‘hey, I have android hearing so I totally heard you making out?’”

“We kind of had to assume you’d be agreeable--” Will said, but the door chime interrupted the rest of his sentence.

“Come in?” Lilly said, looking down at herself and feeling for the edge of her sweatshirt just in case it had gotten lifted up indecently during their frantic kissing.

The door slid open smoothly to reveal Geordi and Beverly. Geordi walked in confidently and smiled at Data, and Beverly hesitated a second before walking in without any difficulty.

“I wasn’t sure if ‘Doctor’ ranked high enough to pass,” she explained.

“Witnesses,” Will said to Lilly in quiet explanation.

“Oh.  _ Oh!”  _ Lilly exclaimed. “I’ll be right back!”

She ran to her bedroom and smacked the door control shut, ripping off the sweatshirt and shimmying out of her leggings at record speed. In her closet there was absolutely nothing that looked ‘wedding-y,’ but a split second after making that assessment, Lilly told herself that she didn’t really want anything that looked ‘wedding-y’ anyway.

She would have another wedding. Probably a really freaking fancy one, at that. Did she want, in that moment, to remember  _ this _ one in any particular common detail?

No.

Lilly reached in, grabbed the command red dress she’d initially tried on when she was dressing for Deanna Troi’s dinner party during her first week on the Enterprise. It didn’t look anything like a wedding gown, but it was her favorite color, and it matched the orb.

Lilly pulled it on, thanking whatever genius clothing designers had innovated enough that she was able to do so without calling out for help with fastenings. She grabbed a brush. Then, she thumbed the door open and walked back out, brushing her hair. She walked past Will, past Beverly, asked Geordi and Data to excuse her as she reached past them, and pulled the trombone hair clip out of its place on her computer desk. She clasped it into her hair and turned around.

“Let’s do this thing,” she said, smiling.

8888888888

Will had thought about wearing red when he’d gone with Worf to Data that morning to ask his advice. He’d been wearing his signature electric blue, a shirt that didn’t look too casual in retrospect, which was good because events had moved so quickly that Will never did get a chance to change.

That was how he came to be standing in Lilly’s living room opposite Data watching Lilly gently excuse herself to reach for something past Geordi as Beverly smiled benevolently at the whole scene.

It was really happening. Lilly turned around, clipped the beautiful trombone into her blonde hair and said, “Let’s do this thing” with a smile so gorgeous he skipped a breath.

Data stepped over to the replicator and spoke a few words that Will couldn’t hear, and when he turned back around, he had a small book in his hands.

“My research tells me that couples are comforted by the ritual of this ceremony, but not as much if the officiant appears to be speaking from memory,” he explained.

_ “Are _ you going to speak from memory?” Geordi asked, an eyebrow raised above his VISOR.

“Of course. This is blank,” Data said, holding up the book.

Everyone laughed, and Lilly moved over to stand beside Will. She was barefoot, which he found extremely charming. Since she seemed to miss nothing, she followed his gaze down to her feet.

“Should I go put on shoes?” she asked as Data pulled up something on a PADD and asked Geordi and Beverly to sign their names on it.

“Don’t,” Will said. He didn’t elaborate, unwilling to even acknowledge the unusual circumstance of promising to love someone for a lifetime with the full knowledge that Lilly couldn’t possibly conform to those vows.

“You’re right. Different is good,” she said. Her words signalled to him that she knew what he was thinking, and agreed. Will supposed that her bare feet matched well with the simple unadorned titanium rings that he’d replicated and tucked into his pocket.

The ceremony was a simple one, and Data had clearly chosen the wording from sources closer to Lilly’s century than their own. The archaic words of promise felt special in their very difference, and Will found that as he spoke them, he  _ meant _ them in a way that he’d never imagined he would so completely when he’d attended other, more modern weddings in the past.

It was only when Lilly recited the same vows that Will wished in retrospect that he’d have asked Data to choose 24th century vows, or at the very least, mixed them up so that hers were from his century and vice versa. Someday, hopefully not for his whole lifetime, Elizabeth Windsor would speak those words again.

He could watch the holovid of that moment within the hour, if he wanted to.

Will shoved that thought aside and smiled down at the woman he had pledged to love and cherish with his body. He was borrowing regrets again, and he pictured those regrets leaving him on his next exhale, falling to sink into the floor and out into the vastness of space.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife,” Data said. 

He shut the book, and Beverly exclaimed, “Data!”

“Did I not perform the ceremony correctly, doctor?”

“You forgot to tell them to kiss!” she protested. Geordi laughed.

“I do not believe they require my permission. They were engaged in that activity before you arrived,” Data said, clearly perplexed.

“It’s part of the ceremony,” Beverly whispered, inclining her head toward Will and Lilly.

“Should not the bride and groom choose whether they wish to kiss in front of witnesses?” Data asked, his brows furrowing.

“I’ve got this, thanks,” Will said, holding out a hand. Then, he turned to Lilly. “Extravagant, traditional, or simple?” he asked.

“Are you  _ ever _ traditional or simple?” she asked, prompting both Beverly and Geordi to start laughing again.

Will swept Lilly up into his arms and kissed her, turning the two of them in a tight circle as he’d done for his first romantic lead in a play at the Academy. At first, he could tell she was self-conscious at the way Beverly whooped at them, but she melted into the kiss just seconds later. When he lifted his head, she looked at him like he was worthy of loving, and he had to stop turning before he forgot how to use his feet.

“I love you,” she whispered.

He almost forgot the plan he’d come up with on the walk over, but he remembered at the very last minute, changing the words his lips had formed so he could say the right line.

“I know.”

8888888888

Since everyone but the happy couple had duties to attend to, there wasn’t much time to do more than hug Beverly and Data before they left. Lilly stood by and watched Geordi and Will hold a serious-looking conversation as she absently rubbed her right thumb against her ring.

Will had taken her hand while they were talking to Beverly, and after the doctor had left, he’d whispered in her ear that he had a plan for a more permanent ring. Lilly honestly didn’t think it was possible to have had a more dramatic, precipitous, but welcome wedding. She felt as if Will had reached out his hand for her and pulled her up from a long fall, and kept her from looking at the place she would have fallen, as well. Her life on the Enterprise so far had been full of unexpected joys and a growing love that had taken hold of her despite every determination to remain unaffected. Yet there was no guarantee of such an experience, and she could have just as easily been unlucky, appearing on a ship manned by someone like Edward Jellico.

Lilly shook her head. Jellico was right! She might not know exactly what lay in store for her in her own century, but by context cues alone she knew she was important, probably too important to simply be allowed to remain on a ship instead of a planet. Deep down, her dislike of the man might be related to the fact that he forced her to own up to some home truths.

Pushing thoughts of the combative captain out of her mind, Lilly looked back over toward Will. She watched as he tipped his head down, intently listening to Geordi in the way he had of being completely focused on his work. Even with black pants and the blue civilian shirt he was wearing, she could see the air of command he’d shifted into. Will nodded curtly, clapped Geordi on the back, and started walking toward Lilly. 

“Heading over to the shuttle bay now. Congratulations!” Geordi said, holding up his hand to wave at Lilly before he left.

“That looked serious,” Lilly observed.

“It was,” Will said, his tone reflecting his somber mood. “He’s been working closely with Jellico to prepare for a mission. Geordi believes it’s likely that the captain will come by my quarters and ask me to be the one to fly it.”

“Tell me about the mission?” Lilly asked, clasping her hands in front of her to avoid reaching out to touch him.

“We think the Cardassian fleet is inside the nebula. The conditions there aren’t sustainable-- they’ll need to come out, and soon. The mission involves laying mines around their ships and then hailing them with the conditions that will compel us to remove them.” He gestured with his hands as he spoke.

“I assume that there’s something about the nebula that means they won’t detect anyone in the process of laying the mines, nor the mines themselves?” she asked him.

He smiled. “Exactly. Once laid, we can remotely detonate them or deactivate them entirely. Signals aren’t degraded at this distance; the real danger for their ships is hull degradation and complete lack of sensor functionality. If they don’t leave soon, they’ll risk losing their hull integrity in about 5 hours.”

“Aren’t sensors kind of necessary in order to fly a shuttle?” Lilly said, looking intently at his face for the answer.

“That’s why it needs to be me,” he said, an air of command arrogance showing in his demeanor. Lilly supposed it was justified, after the stories she’d heard from other crew members.

“So you basically  _ are _ Han Solo!” she teased.

“I won’t downplay the risk,” he told her, reaching for her hand and clasping it in both of his. He didn’t look down, but his thumb brushed against her ring, and she met his warm gaze and smiled, despite the subject matter. “There’s a real chance I won’t come back. That chance increases tenfold if it’s anyone else.”

“I hear you,” Lilly said. She kissed each of his hands in turn. “I wouldn’t dream of asking you not to do it--”

“I’m more unhappy about needing to leave soon, so that I can be alone in my quarters when Jellico comes by,” Will said, interrupting her. He stepped closer. “I can do everything in my power except actually promise to come back.”

“If you don’t come back, I’ll know what to do,” Lilly said, leaning forward to hug him with her free arm, now that he was standing so near.

“Lilly.” His voice carried a warning.

She ignored it. “I won’t live in a 24th century without you. At that point I might as well call on ‘you know who’ to tell him he has to save you or send me back.”

Will grabbed her by her upper arms and leaned over to look her directly in the eyes. It didn’t hurt, but it got her attention, for sure.

“That gives him leverage over you! I don’t want that. If I die on that mission it’s in the course of doing my duty. For all we know I would have been killed anyway, with or without your presence here!”

“Then your century will be the better for my having been here, with more time for you to serve on this ship after I get done saving you!” she argued. Lilly cupped his elbows with her hands, squeezing tightly for emphasis. “Your history is still to be written.”

“And if you do that, Q can threaten yours with my life as leverage!” he said, ignoring her last statement.

Will turned and stalked away from her. She could hear his angry exhalations as he rested a hand on the back of a chair and ran a hand through his hair. Finally he turned, eyes still slightly wild as he looked at her from across the room.

“You say you can’t live in a 24th century without me, but I was  _ always _ meant to live without you. I am already beholden to him for that.” He shook his head. “You may find that he’ll hold my life against your compliance for the rest of my lifetime. He tried to grant me powers like his, once. I refused. I think it still rankles him.”

“He can do that?” she asked, stunned by nearly everything he’d said, but particularly the last part. Before Will could respond, she spoke again. “Then I’ll persuade him to grant them to me!”

“Lilly, I don’t want powers like that, no matter who gives them to me.” Will groaned.

“I love that your first thought is that I’d give the powers to you and we could live forever,” Lilly said softly. “But that wasn’t what I was thinking. I know that’s not what you want.”

“That’s what I should want. It’s what  _ he _ wants.” Will’s voice sounded hollow and regretful.

She wanted to walk over and kiss him, but she knew that wasn’t what the moment required. In as gentle a voice as she could, Lilly said, “You’re not that selfish.”

He let out a sigh and his shoulders sagged. Then, he took in another deep breath and as she watched, he reconstructed himself into Commander Riker again, complete with a straight back, lifted chin, and serious expression.

“None of that will matter, because this will be like any other mission that I’ve come back from. However, I appreciate that we’re on the same page on this.”

“Yes, sir,” Lilly said.

Will’s game face changed with the smile that lit up his expression after hearing her.

“Don’t tell me all I needed to do to earn your compliance was marry you!” he said, his smile morphing into a deep grin.

“It’s my secret weakness,” she said. “I know you need to go,” she added, mindful that they were nearly out of time.

“I do. But I’ll be back,” he said, walking over to her with long, purposeful strides. He leaned down and kissed her briefly, then kissed her temple and breathed in deeply.

“Do you replicate shampoo from your own time?” he asked.

“Mmhmm.”

“Write it down for me if you do insist on using Q to bring me back?” he asked, his tone playful despite the outrageous comment. He tapped the controls to open the door, and it slid open.

“Will?” Lilly called out, wincing at how desperate her tone was. His request was bleak but characteristic, and it made her desperate to soothe him.

He turned immediately.

“I’m keeping the name, no matter what.” His brows furrowed in confusion, and she said, “‘Lilly Riker.’”

Will’s eyes shut for a second, his expression blissful until he opened them. Now his gaze was hungry and possessive.

“I’ll see you tonight,” he promised. Then, he walked through the door and out of sight.

8888888888

Jellico did indeed show up to request that Will fly the shuttle mission.

He even gave Will the opportunity to tell him  _ exactly _ what he thought about his leadership.

The shuttle mission was hard as hell, but the close calls just made Will feel more pleased about the way the day had gone so far. By the time he and Geordi had dodged their last obstacle, Will had a near-permanent grin on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NOTE: It’s worth googling ‘Riker and Jellico Confrontation’ to watch the scene I reference in the last few sentences if you haven’t seen it at all, or in a while. Both men have good points about the other, but I feel like Riker ends up with the stronger points about Jellico’s leadership. They both are in situations which wouldn’t normally happen-- it’s clear in canon that a captain chooses their senior crew for themselves, and Jellico would likely not have chosen Riker, given his clear independent judgment, and it’s unlikely that Riker would choose to behave with a new, permanent captain the way he behaves with Jellico.


	20. Not Out of the Woods

###  Chapter Twenty: Not Out of the Woods  


It wasn’t until Will was walking out of the shuttle bay that he found out that Captain Jellico had already had a confrontation with Gul Lemec. It appeared that their ploy had worked spectacularly, and word was that Jellico had asked for the return of Picard almost as an afterthought.

He was certain it had not been. Jellico’s modus operandi was to keep everyone off-balance around him, at least when he was dealing with the Cardassians. Will was curious to know whether the man employed the same behavior for every mission. He suspected not, but then again, was Edward Jellico the kind of man who would change his entire behavior, even regarding crew management, based on his current mission? 

One thing was certain: Will would never choose to work for the man, and if he were so assigned, he would strongly consider registering an official protest for a change of duty. Even in success, the crew of the Enterprise were worn out, uneasy, and morale was at an all-time low.

He completely forgot that Geordi was still beside him until they both spoke different commands to direct the turbolift’s destination.

“Headed to Lilly’s on autopilot?” Geordi asked in a sympathetic voice.

“Yeah. Belay that,” he said to the computer. “Go on.”

Geordi ordered the turbolift toward the main bridge, and Will steeled himself for whatever attitude their volatile captain would display in victory.

8888888888

Lilly thought sure she would have worn a path into the carpet by now, but though she impulsively crouched down to check, she found no difference in the section she had been pacing across for two hours versus the section directly in front of the door where she hadn’t walked. Multiple times she’d tapped the comm only to be reminded by the emotionless female voice that she didn’t have permission to access it.

Then she saw a change in the windows and rushed over to discover that the Enterprise was once again traveling at warp speeds.

A horrid, pervasive dread seeped into her bloodstream from the pit of her stomach. If they were leaving, that meant whatever business that they had with the Cardassian fleet had been concluded. It meant that, either way, Will’s mission was finished.

Lilly climbed up onto the couch and reached toward the window, pressing her palms flat against it. If Will’s shuttle had been destroyed in the nebula, would the Enterprise even be able to locate the wreckage? She doubted they would. Was she now hurtling through space away from his grave?

The door chimed, and when Lilly tried to vocalize the word ‘Come in,’ the word came out nearly inaudible. Luckily, the computer understood her enough to follow her command anyway.

Lilly stayed put, but turned her body so that only one hand was pressed against the glass. Her visitor was Geordi. He tipped his head to the side and then nodded when he saw her. The room was dim, and Lilly realized that his VISOR had led him to see her across the room far more quickly than any of his crewmates probably would have.

“He’s fine, we were successful,” he said quickly. 

Lilly slid down from the window encasement onto the couch.

“I’ll bet the fact that we’re moving again left you uneasy,” he observed, walking over.

“A bit,” she said weakly. “I assume it worked, though, or we wouldn’t be racing away?”

“Yeah, it did. Seems that Captain Picard was aboard Lemec’s ship inside the nebula, too. Data thinks he was transferred there before we arrived. Sick Bay has been locked down, none of us have heard anything,” Geordi said, perching on the edge of the chair across from the couch.

“So he’s here, safe?” Lilly asked. The dread was receding, but not as quickly as she would have liked. She imagined it pulling away like a thick sauce after a meal, leaving residue to color its container behind, not so easily cleaned away by just tipping it out.

“Dr. Crusher wasn’t at the staff meeting, but she called in to give a report. It’s confidential, but I imagine he’ll want to talk to you, once he’s recovered enough,” he said.

“Geordi, thank you. I was determinedly wearing a hole in the carpet and getting nowhere until you showed up. When the ship started moving--”

“I get it,” Geordi said gently. “As for Commander Riker, well, Captain Jellico came  _ this close _ to ordering him into a Lieutenant’s uniform to take over for Data until Picard can come back on duty, but Data worked some of his signature magic on that idea.” He grinned and chuckled, shaking his head in almost disbelief. “You haven’t been here long enough to hear him really get into it about regs or a colloquial term, but when we first formed up into a crew, he’d do it all the time. Someone would use a phrase and he’d pick up on it-- or he wouldn’t, which was even more hilarious --and we’d have to take a few minutes as he oriented himself with an irrelevant statistic or explanation of the etymology of the phrase itself.”

“So, demonstrating his personality, basically?” Lilly asked, smiling at the way Geordi seemed to enjoy explaining Data’s quirks.

“Exactly!” Geordi said, pointing at her enthusiastically. “So today, when the captain mused almost to himself at the end of the meeting that he thought it might be appropriate if the commander changed into a gold uniform to take over for Data’s duties for a while, everyone just… kinda sat there for a minute. Then Data spoke up.” Even with his eyes covered by his VISOR, Geordi’s face was perfectly expressive. His grin and incredulous laughter was infectious, and Lilly couldn’t help smiling back at him.

“Did he parrot out some sort of rule that demotions needed to go in the file and be super official, something like that?”

“Yep, and I’ll have to ask him to be sure, but I think he used two times as many words as he needed to. Data’s gotten better about cutting out awkward wording, but he sounded more like the man I met on those first weeks on the ship, today,” Geordi said. “Oh, and before I forget-- that’s part of why I’m here. Commander Riker was put on bridge duty while Captain Jellico debriefs Starfleet and Captain Picard. He’ll be a few more hours at least.”

“You are so kind, thank you,” Lilly said, letting out a long relieved breath and smiling at him. 

“Worrying about someone you care about on a risky mission is rough,” Geordi said, standing. Lilly stood too.

“It’s my first experience with it, and something tells me it won’t be my last!” Lilly said ruefully.

“That’s for certain. I think you’ll make a fantastic captain’s wife, though, if you don’t mind my saying so,” he said. “We’re lucky to have had him with us for so long. Serving on a ship like the Enterprise is a dream come true for pretty much everyone here, but sometimes I think what makes it  _ continue _ to be a great posting is the leadership at the top, especially when it comes to personnel management. I think almost everyone will be grateful that Captain Picard is back, but part of that is the fact that we’ll know Will’s back in charge of crew scheduling.”

Lilly walked him to the door, mulling over his words. “I don’t even know what to say except: thank you so much! I spent a couple of hours wondering if I’d just become Starfleet’s fastest widow. It shouldn’t be almost as daunting, thinking about the life I’ll get to have instead!”

“If you don’t mind my saying so, I’d say it’s living that life which makes you so good at the one you’ll have once you go back.”

Tears welled up in her eyes at this, and she simply leaned over and hugged him. “I promise not to cry on your VISOR!” she sniffed.

“Don’t worry, I can wear it in pretty much all conditions. See you around, okay?” he said, tapping the door open to reveal a dour looking Captain Jellico.

“I see you took it on yourself to inform our guest about her uncle?” he said.

Geordi was standing mostly in front of Lilly in the doorway, and he reached back to squeeze her hand briefly before moving aside for the captain. It took all of Lilly’s considerable amount of self control not to burst into tears or  _ flames _ based on the way Geordi had comforted her and how Jellico had referred to her as ‘our guest.’ She watched the chief engineer leave, and backed up just enough for Jellico to stand with the door shut behind him.

“Do come in,” she said formally. “Mr. La Forge simply informed me that my uncle was recovered, but is unavailable, in Sick Bay. I greatly appreciate his taking that initiative.”

“I’m sure you do,” Jellico said, standing awkwardly in front of her. “I haven’t had a chance to speak to Jean-Luc about your situation, but rest assured that I will.”

“You mean about your decision to kidnap me to Earth?” she asked, unable to resist pushing back at him, now that she knew Picard was on board.

“Do you know how close you came to destroying human history, simply by being  _ present _ for the confrontation I just had with the Cardassians?” Jellico demanded, strident and furious.

“I have no control over my presence in this century,  _ captain,” _ Lilly shot back. “I’m sure my knowledge of human nature has little to no bearing on the behavior of leaders here, but in my own, a secret like my existence would be very hard to keep, much harder on a planet full of billions of people than a ship of a thousand!”

“You shouldn’t know how many people are on this ship, you shouldn’t know about the ship at all! You should have been placed in medical stasis and all efforts should have been made to find the being that brought you here! The sheer fucking  _ hubris _ of Jean-Luc Picard to choose to simply say and do nothing and pretend you’re his niece is astonishing!” Jellico shouted. “He ought to be court marshalled for this!”

“Aren’t those records public, captain?” Lilly said in a rigidly calm voice. “And don’t you think they thought this through before making the decisions they did? Do you trust  _ no one? _ How did you pick your crew? Did you only choose candidates who have won multiple awards for valor and then catapult them into a war scenario to see how they handled it? Or did you slowly build up trust over weeks of working together?” Lilly walked right up to Jellico and glared at him. “From what I see, you never gave this crew a chance to show their mettle. You just ordered them into untenable situations with no explanation. Sure, they’ve trained to follow orders, but I doubt you treated the crew of your own ship like this! If all you see are mindless automatons, then that’s on you, sir. Not on them.”

“You’ve been talking to Commander Riker,” Jellico spat.

“I won’t go with you,” Lilly said, ignoring the disgust in his voice. “I won’t encourage anyone to disobey orders, but I won’t go with you. You don’t have any authority over me,” she said. She was bluffing-- it was quite possible that the same maritime law of ‘the captain is the ultimate law on the open seas’ concept applied here, too.

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Jellico said, his anger smoothing out into confidence.

“Ask them. Ask Dr. Crusher if it is safe to put me in medical stasis. Ask Captain Picard if he thinks there’s a place on Earth he could hide me where someone wouldn’t tell Earth’s enemies where the key to destroying their past is hidden. Ask Commander Data what lengths he went to restrict my access to the computer and any information beyond what I ought to know. You came on this ship and decided not to trust anyone, and everything you saw from that point onward informed your decision! You got what you asked for.”

“You don’t know anything about me, young lady, and I know  _ plenty _ about you. Everyone here is lucky that you seem to have been brought here before you learned much about power. You should be afraid of who you’ll turn into, not arguing against what I’ve become,” he said, his voice almost shaking with what she assumed was the intensity of his anger at her. “You won’t have any computer access on the  _ Cairo. _ As far as I’m concerned you don’t even exist in this century. You have no identity here, and you won’t be afforded any recognition.”

Lilly held her tongue with all her strength as she watched him leave.

He was wrong. She did have an identity in this century.

She was someone’s wife.

8888888888

Will being in command of the bridge did not, it turned out, mean he was able to override Captain Jellico’s commands about Lilly’s comm permissions. Then, he had an idea.

“Riker to Data?”

_ “Data here.” _

“Data, have you had a chance to input any of the personnel changes from the past day or so?” Will asked, hoping that Data would pick up on his meaning without needing to say anything more specific.

_ “Yes, Commander. I am caught up as of 1400 hours.” _

“Perfect, thank you, Data. Riker out.” The bridge was operating on a minimal crew, but it just so happened that Deanna was scheduled to arrive for her bridge duty in two minutes. Will wanted to talk to Lilly, and since she had signed the paperwork that indicated she would take his last name, he wanted to see if calling her with that new name would bypass Jellico’s restriction on ‘Lilly Picard.’ Unfortunately, to do so in  _ private,  _ he’d need to put someone else in charge for the few minutes it would take to check in with her. The regs meant that there was no one on the bridge until Deanna arrived who was qualified to take over-- but Deanna had certainly heard about the wedding. She’d probably want details, and she might hold his request hostage for them.

He did owe her at least that much.

When Deanna walked out of the turbolift, she headed straight for her chair, but her eyes sought out his left hand even before looking at his face. It turned out to be one of the best moments of the past few days for Will, because her face lit up in obvious happiness to see the ring he was wearing. Accompanying her expression was an aura that he could sense from her, one of satisfaction and happiness. He didn’t think he could have asked for a more thorough confirmation that Deanna was pleased for the two of them.

He walked over from where he was standing in the middle of the bridge and sat down.

“Busy day,” Deanna observed dryly.

“One of the busiest, yes,” he responded in kind, adding a grin.

“Are you going to make me  _ ask?” _ she said, dropping the sly disinterest in favor of wide, dark eyes full of mirth.

“It’s not really common knowledge, at this point,” Will said quietly. He resisted the urge to look around at the other bridge crew to see if they had noticed the conversation.

“You’ll owe me,” she said in a low voice.

“I always will,” he said, looking straight at her with perfect sincerity.

“I’m pleased, you know.”

He smiled broadly. “I sensed that.”

Deanna tossed her hair over her shoulder and looked up, sighing. “Well, if you can’t make it work with your half-Betazoid, empathic mind partner, I suppose a princess really is the next best thing.”

Will grinned and looked down, glancing at her without moving his head. “That’s a lot more gentle than I expected, thank you.”

“Well, we  _ are _ in public,” Deanna noted quietly.

“Speaking of which, can you take over for a minute or two? I wanted to send a message from the Ready Room while Captain Jellico is away from the bridge.”

“Of course,” she said in that warm, genuine way she had.

“Thanks. Be right back,” Will said. He went over to the Ready Room and breathed a sigh of relief when the door opened for him. For a brief moment he worried about whether Jellico bothered to look at the logs to see who used the room when he was away from the bridge, but the man had completed his mission, with all threats extinguished. It wasn’t likely that he’d bother, now.

“Riker to Lilly Riker?”

There was a full ten second stretch of silence that made Will convinced that his theory had proved false, but then he did get a response.

_ “Lilly here! Did you get him to release the restrictions?” _ Lilly sounded incredulous but very happy, and he hated that he had to disappoint her.

“No, I’m sorry. I was testing to see if your new name brought those restrictions with it. This is giving me an idea; I’ll speak to you when I come off duty tonight. Riker out.”

As soon as he tapped his badge again, Will felt a rush of regret. He could have heard her voice again if he hadn’t signed off.

_ “Lilly Riker to Commander Riker?” _

“I’m here,” he said, tapping his comm.

_ “I want you to know that if you get a chance to see the captain when you’re off duty, don’t feel obligated to come here first. We’ll still have time. Riker out.” _

He knew which captain she was referring to. The truth was, she didn’t know for sure that they had time, but it was more important to her to let him know she recognized his need to see Picard. That, and she might have guessed at his disappointment in not hearing her voice again. The combination of motives made him feel known and loved.

So did her reference to their shared last name. There was potential there, if her comm restriction didn’t apply anymore. Will had some ideas about how to thwart Captain Jellico’s plans for her, but first he had to get through the evening of duty time. Lilly’s thoughtfulness and simply the sound of her voice had helped with that, at least.

Will walked out of the Ready Room with an unshakeable smile. He sat down and tapped at the arm controls of the chair, aimlessly checking conditions and heading until Deanna finally said something.

“Good talk?”

“Mmm hmm,” he said, not really hearing the question.

8888888888

It did turn out that Will got the go-ahead from Beverly to stop by Sick Bay after he got off duty. When he walked in, he saw that there was a partition up blocking half of the room from sight. He heard Captain Jellico’s voice.

“--just got off with Starfleet Command myself, and I wanted to drop by to see you. You were on with the admiral for nearly three hours.” 

“I appreciate the courtesy,” Captain Picard said in a tired-sounding voice.

“It’s no courtesy, Jean-Luc! I was genuinely concerned that I might have to leave you with the Cardassians,” Jellico said. Will didn’t want to eavesdrop, but it sounded like there was real regret in the man’s voice, something he hadn’t expected to hear at all.

“I’m profoundly grateful that you did not.”

“I don’t want to make you talk about it--”

Picard interrupted with a bit more vigor in his voice at that. “Don’t worry, I’ll give you my report, it’ll be far more enlightening than anything I could say after detailing it all out for Nechayev.” He coughed, a short, explosive sound that led Will to look around for Dr. Crusher or a nurse. 

He had the distinct impression that Sick Bay was only open so that the current acting captain could make a visit. Will resolved to find Beverly and tell her that Picard seemed like he could do with being looked in on. He was clearly trespassing on a private conversation, and he knew he shouldn’t be listening.

Then Captain Jellico said something that made Will stop in his tracks.

“Jean-Luc, I’m sorry to have to talk to you about this right now, but we’ll be meeting up with the  _ Cairo  _ tomorrow and I want to get it resolved before I leave. I was forced to investigate your ‘niece’ for her suspicious appearance so close in time to your mission, and I discovered her true identity. I  _ have _ to ask you what you were thinking in keeping her conscious at all, much less with permission to walk around the ship as if she were any other 24th century human?”

Jellico sounded moderately sympathetic at first, but by the last sentence, his voice was angry as he demanded Picard’s response. Will ground his teeth together. There was no way he was going to leave  _ his captain _ alone with that man after what Picard had gone through. Beverly’s office was dark, the door open, and Will slipped into the doorway to make his eavesdropping less obvious. The light remained off, which was lucky.

“If you are aware of her identity, that must mean you are aware that she is my ancestor,” Picard said, his tone dipping into a bit of vocal fry. “You must have seen the studies, and we’ve all read at least one science fiction story-- what do they all have in common, in regards to what happens to the world left behind, when an important figure is taken from their own time?” 

There was a period of silence, and Will could just picture Jellico standing there, his hand shaking slightly at his side, uncomfortable but stalwart.

“The world  _ changes, _ Edward. Their descendants disappear, never to have been born. That ripples through and changes whole populations. Yet here I am!” Picard’s voice was confident, now, and Will felt a rush of relief to hear him sound so much like himself. “The difference here is the method of travel. The unique nature of the one involved.”

“Your Norse god from a race of tricksters,” Jellico interjected, doubt coloring his voice.

Picard chuckled. “That’s well put. You’ll have to tell me who came up with that. My point is, we  _ know _ she goes back. If she did not, I couldn’t be here. I see your disapproval writ large on your face, but I’d challenge you to find a finer line than we have walked.”

There was a grunt of pain, and Will nearly made his presence known, but after a tense second, he heard Picard utter a word of thanks.

“Are you sure you should be standing so soon?”

“It’s a relief to be standing with full use of my arms, and in clothing, even,” Picard said dryly. “I quite enjoy it. I’m on my own ship, under my own power, with no threat of reprisal-- unless that’s what this is?”

Will sucked in an impressed breath. He had always admired Jean-Luc Picard’s ability to negotiate, the swift, curious mind that sought out solutions and articulated them with such grace and tenacity. He’d been around for many a powerful speech from the man, but  _ that _ statement was a masterwork.

“I had no intention of threatening you, Jean-Luc--”

“I am well aware that a man of your integrity would not come to me in this condition without a plan. Tell me, Edward: what is your plan?” Picard asked.

“To take her with me to the  _ Cairo. _ We’ll travel directly to Earth, where she’ll be placed in a secure facility, possibly in medical stasis,” Jellico said, his voice almost emotionless.

“Stasis will be rejected by any competent medical officer in the entire fleet,” Picard said dismissively. Will could perfectly picture the pained, frustrated expression on his captain’s face. “Elizabeth Windsor is the first thoroughly documented ruler of her century. Every single medical record was made public within months of their occurrence, open for scrutiny and objective interpretations even now! Yet you confidently declare that we should subject her to medical interventions that very well could show in her tissues for the rest of her life? Are you sure you wish to tamper with history in such a way, Captain?”

“You have a lot of gall accusing  _ me _ of tampering with history,” Jellico growled.

“There is a world of difference between cellular memory and actual memories. The choices I’ve made are borne up by countless records of her intelligence and discernment. I felt it was much more safe to expect that she keep her experiences secret in her  _ mind _ than it was to pretend our medical procedures such as stasis would remain undiscovered by the doctors from her time--”

“ _ One word _ from her before First Contact, and the last couple of  _ centuries _ could be wiped out! Erased!” Jellico shouted.

“Does it bother you more that this is a situation beyond your control, or that you’ve found yourself on the literal wrong side of history, Edward?” Picard asked quietly. “There are roughly eight hundred hours of holovids of her life that you can watch. Likely a further five hundred hours of expert analysis of those holovids. A simple keyword search of, say, ‘Lilly Windsor, aliens’ or ‘Windsor time travel’ nets negligible results. I should know. I’ve checked.”

“The argument that it hasn’t happened yet is useless in the face of the fact that it  _ can,” _ Jellico bit out. “I’m sorry, Jean-Luc. I can’t let this one go.”

“Well, as one of the people who will cease to exist if you make the wrong choice, I hope you know what you’re doing,” Picard said. “Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like some privacy.”

“Of course. You still hold the rank of captain, so you’ll be authorized to visit her if you’d like. I’ve confined her to quarters for the sake of all humanity. Good night.”

Will stepped farther back into the recesses of Beverly’s office, but judging by the look on Captain Jellico’s face as he stalked out of Picard’s makeshift room in Sick Bay, he wouldn’t have seen Will even if he’d been out in the open.

Will stood against the back wall of the darkened office and tried to decide what to do. It was certainly insubordinate of him to have listened in, and he was already on thin ice after being removed from his position by Jellico. Something started to slide past his leg, and despite reaching over to grab it as quickly as he could, it toppled, making a crashing noise.

“Who is there?” Picard called out.

Will turned on the office light and saw that nothing was broken, just knocked over. “It’s me, sir,” he said.

“Will! Come in, I didn’t know you were coming,” the captain said, sounding pleased. When Will walked past the partition, he saw that Picard was seated with his legs stretched out in front of him on an elevated bed. The back was propped up nearly all of the way, and he had a PADD lying on his lap. He looked exhausted and drawn, but thankfully, there were no obvious bandages or signs of more serious medical attention.

“Sir, I should tell you--”

“That you were here since your current captain lectured me on protocol?” Picard interrupted in a mock stern voice. “Yes, I gathered. The doors make a very distinctive sound, you know.”

Will nodded, looking down.

“He implied that you were quite a handful, when he met me with the transfer team,” Picard said, wincing as he adjusted his position. “Am I right in assuming he’s projecting, at least a little?”

“Captain Jellico had a mission, and he fulfilled that mission, sir,” Will said in as bland a voice as he possibly could. He knew that Picard would read the statement correctly.

“I see,” was the quietly-spoken response. “Now he sees Lilly as his new mission.”

“Honestly, I think he considered her a part of his mission from the beginning. The fact that her presence here is unrelated to the Cardassians means he can close that chapter and throw the book at her,” Will said, his simmering anger threatening to boil over as an undercurrent to his tone of voice.

“And us,” Picard observed.

“I have some ideas,” Will told him. “They’re a long shot.”

The captain smiled. “Sometimes those are the best kind.”

“We had some eventful days, while you were gone,” Will said, feeling the hard newness of the ring on his finger from where it was hiding under his right hand, clasped as they were in front of him. “I’m not asking about what happened to you, sir,” he hastened to add, as Picard’s face had changed, a kind of hard shell of defensiveness sliding up to mask his more open expression. “I’m sure you’ll get the chance to see everything when you inspect the personnel changes. We are currently operating at a tentative four shift rotation, and there are some changes you may want to sign off on. I would urge you not to make any alterations, particularly not to personnel files, for a few days. Data and I have those well in hand.”

With that, Will shifted position, placing his left hand over his right.

Picard, ever observant, looked at his hands, his brows slightly furrowed as he sought the answer to Will’s possible riddle. The moment when he understood was a gratifying one, as the very same brows shot up in complete shock, as did Picard’s glance up to meet Will’s eyes.

“I don’t think I should need to oversee any of them, unless they weren’t voluntary changes?” Picard asked in a pseudo bureaucratic tone.

“I would say enthusiastic,” Will said, grinning, “--but I wouldn’t dare speak for the lady.”

“Wise man,” Picard said, smiling back. He yawned. “Would you do me the favor of calling for Beverly? I think her most recent treatment has run its course, and I haven’t seen a bed in far too long.”

“Of course, sir. I’m glad you’re back.”

“As am I.”

8888888888

Lilly had joked with Data and Will about hiding in guest quarters until Captain Jellico had left the ship, but as she waited for Will to stop by after his duty shift ended, she gave the idea some serious thought.

She was planning to wait until it was late at night before testing to see whether she could leave her room at all, but if she could, Lilly wanted to make good on her promise not to go with Jellico.

“How miserable must a person be not to want to visit their home planet, centuries into the future?” she asked herself aloud.

A huge yawn interrupted her train of thought. She’d tried to get some sleep, convinced that, either way, she’d be unable to rest in the coming day or two. After checking the clock, Lilly groaned. It was still two hours before Will would be off shift, and she’d send that message to encourage him to visit Picard if he could, so chances were he wouldn’t show up for another three.

“Computer, can I give you permission to open the door to someone when they request to come in?” Lilly asked.

_ “That action requires an authorization code.” _

“Oh! Authorization code Picard Epsilon Two Zero Zero Six.”

A fail chime sounded.  _ “That authorization code does not apply.” _

Lilly blinked, surprised. It was definitely her code-- she’d used it in the past! For it not to apply…

“Wait! What about Authorization code  _ Riker _ Epsilon Two Zero Zero Six?”

Another fail chime sounded.

“Do I even  _ have _ an authorization code associated with me right now?”

_ “There are no authorization codes assigned to Elizabeth Riker at this time.” _

“All right, Computer, how about this?” Lilly said, feeling like she was arguing with anthropomorphic red tape. “Can I authorize the door to open for my husband when he requests entry?”

_ “Commander William Riker is now authorized to enter on request.” _

“It’s that easy? Well, okay then!”

With that burden lifted, and context for why she had been able to be contacted on the comms, she finally felt comfortable enough to fall asleep. As she drifted off, Lilly wondered if she should get up and try to drag the nightstand over just in case Will wanted to climb in bed with her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually quite like Edward Jellico as a character, and I hope I’m not doing him a disservice in his reactions toward Lilly in this chapter. I think he is exactly the sort of person who would 1) worry about what kind of undue influence someone with her eventual power would have, 2) think it’s completely insane that she has the run of a ship and isn’t somewhere in stasis being kept ignorant and insensate as they find out how to send her back, and 3) believe in his snap judgments of the crew of the Enterprise. He’s probably right about Lilly, of course, but he doesn’t have the history with Q or with Lilly that Will and Jean-Luc have.
> 
> But I did want to reassure fans of Jellico that I’m not turning him into a cartoon villain here. He’s too conscientious to simply walk away without trying to do the right thing in his own eyes.


	21. Come Home With Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning!

###  Chapter Twenty-One: Come Home With Me

  
  


Lilly woke to a gentle hand stroking her hair. She opened her eyes to see that Will was kneeling proposal-style beside the bed.

“Your door opened for me,” he said quietly, smiling. She smiled back.

“I told it to,” she said. Lilly held up a finger, yawned, and then rubbed her eyes for a second before continuing. “Well, first I asked if I could give permission for someone to come in when they knocked, or whatever you call it in your century--” Will chuckled. “--but it told me I needed an authorization code, and then refused to take it when I gave mine!”

Will started laughing, and she scooted up to sit against the short headboard and frown at him.

“You woke yourself all the way up, getting outraged. It’s endearing,” he explained, leaning over to kiss her lightly. “You have a good reason to, though.” Since she had moved up on the bed, he could now sit on the edge of it. He looked down at her, and she could see him shift into ‘Commander mode.’ “You tried to use the comms before, you said, and they didn’t work until today, after the vows?” He reached out and slipped his hand under hers, on her lap.

Lilly nodded. “I’d used my authorization code before, too. The common thread is the wedding.” She squeezed his hand for a brief second. “It’s almost like the computer has decided I’m a different person all of a sudden!”

“That might be what’s happening,” Will said. “May I?” He held up his foot, his free hand resting on it, clearly asking if he could remove his shoes.

“Yes, but I reserve the right to revoke permission if your feet stink,” Lilly told him.

His impudent yet confident grin told her she didn’t have to worry. When he was done taking off his shoes, he moved farther onto the bed, turning toward her and crossing his legs.

“I really didn’t expect you’d be able to do that, given that you’re so tall!” she observed.

“I’m flexible,” he said, his smile turning into a knowing one. Then, he laughed, a full-throated laugh that made her giggle out of the sheer joy of seeing it. “You just turned bright red  _ and _ looked interested!” Will’s expression became more serious, and he said, “Unfortunately, the most interesting thing about this situation right now is the circumstances of why the computer let me in. We already knew the rank requirement, but that didn’t open the door when we came by this morning. What words did you use with the computer?”

“I asked if I could authorize my husband’s entry when requested, and here you are,” Lilly said, lowering the hand she’d held against her blushing cheek. 

“Computer, authorize access to my quarters for my wife,” Will said.

_ “Elizabeth Riker is now authorized to enter.” _

“Thank you,” Lilly said. “Though, the wording is different. I wonder if it’s rank-related or confidence related?”

“Something tells me you’ll get better at the attitude,” Will teased. “In all seriousness, I shouldn’t have needed to do that. The response should have been that the permissions are already in place. Data said he filed the personnel change, but it looks like he didn’t finish the process. What if I…” He addressed the computer again, his brows furrowed in confusion. “Computer, location of Lilly Picard?”

_ “Lilly Picard is not on the Enterprise.” _

Lilly threw her blanket off and stood up. “Does that mean the computer thinks I’m Elizabeth Riker now?” she asked, full of adrenaline. Will had also turned his body in preparation to stand, and she walked along the bed to stand in front of him. He spread his knees for her to stand between them.

“We can use this,” he said, his expression still sober but pleased. “If we move you to my quarters and tell the computer they’re Elizabeth Riker’s, with these quarters belonging to Lilly Picard, we might be able to persuade Jellico that you’ve left the ship. You’d have to leave everything behind, though.”

“I can replicate everything except the orb,” Lilly said, giving in to the urge to run her fingers through his hair.

“We can retrieve it after he leaves,” Will said. He sounded like he had more to say but instead, he made a small noise at the back of his throat as her fingertips followed his hairline down onto his neck.

Lilly bent down to kiss him and his immediate response was to pull her down onto his lap rather forcefully, which she definitely appreciated.

“You seem to like this position,” she observed, minutes later.

“I’ll show you my favorite,” he said, shocking her by pulling her close and then standing with her legs and arms still wrapped around him.

“A little warning?” Lilly squeaked, but he chuckled, a deep, naughty sound.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered into her ear. Lilly kissed the join of his shoulder where his civilian shirt was pulled aside, and he started walking. 

Three powerful steps later and Lilly felt the wall at her back. “Jellico’s room is on the other side of this!” she hissed at him, her eyes wide.

“All the better,” Will said, pressing her up against the wall with his hips. He cupped her face with one hand and laid the other flat beside her head.

“He  _ knows _ this is my room!”

“So we’ll have to be quiet,” Will said, grinning at her, He slid his hand down from her face onto her neck and then lifted it up and away. “I’ll stop if you want me to.”

She could tell that he was serious. He was waiting for her response, both hands on the wall beside her face. Something in Will’s eyes told Lilly that if she said stop, he would help her down and nothing between them would change. She lifted both of her hands up to frame his face.

“The fact that you offered just makes me want you more,” she said, touching her lips to his lightly.

“Mmmm, so that’s a yes, then?” he murmured against her lips, both hands still flat on the wall.

“It’s a yes. It’s also a  _ please,” _ Lilly said, arching her back and pushing on him with her heels. Will’s response was to press her closer to the wall with his hips, his lips to her neck as he slid one hand up under her shirt and the other pushed her waistband down.

“Do you always sleep with so many clothes on?” he murmured against the hollow of her neck, his breath hot and exciting.

“I will if you threaten to take them off like this every time,” Lilly said, pulling his head up to kiss him. She started a trail of kisses down his throat and onto his shirt, uncurling herself from around him in as loving a way as possible until she was standing in front of him. Lilly was still crowded against the wall, and Will filled up all of her view; he’d dropped his hands down at his sides, content for her to lead.

Lilly kissed his arm, then his wrist, then turned over his hand to his palm to kiss him there before holding that arm up and out of her way, smiling up at Will in a way she hoped he read as, ‘trust me.’ Then she walked behind him, stroking his waist and thighs with her hand, circling closer and closer until Will reached down to encourage her and Lilly pulled her hand away completely.

Will groaned and tipped forward until his head was against the wall.  _ Then _ Lilly used her other hand to stroke his clothed erection, her face buried in his back, shy but encouraged by his reaction. After a minute, she moved her hand up to seek the clasp of his pants, and this time she let him help. After he stepped out of them, Will turned and kissed her with a desperation that stunned her. She kept up with his kisses as best she could until he pulled her close to his chest and seemed to just breathe in the scent of her hair.

“What is it?” she whispered, nearly as overcome as he was by the whirlwind intensity of the moment, especially the way he touched her almost reverently even in the throes of a clearly frantic need to feel her close to him.

“I don’t want to run out of time,” he said, his voice nearly inaudible. “I don’t want these to be my last moments with you.”

Lilly felt tears well up in her eyes. She blinked them away, resting her hands on his where they were wrapped around her body. Gently, she stepped out of his embrace, feeling oddly graceful as he watched her remove her pants and lift off her shirt to bare her upper body to him. At no other time had she ever felt more brave and yet certain all at once. With her own trembling hand, she placed his left hand over her heart, brushing her thumb over the ring that he wore. Her eyes closed, she stood shivering from the sensation of his touch as he sought to please her.

Suddenly she felt the same urgency she’d sensed from him earlier. She scraped at the decorative lace of her panties, shoving them down inelegantly in haste. Will had stepped back when she’d moved so swiftly, and when she was finished picking them up self-consciously and setting them, folded, on the edge of the bed, she looked over at him.

He was leaning up against the wall where they’d been before, fully naked, the hair on his chest complimenting the strength of his tall, powerful build. Still shy, Lilly didn’t look much further down, but looking wasn’t what she needed now, anyway.

“I promise you, these moments won’t be our last,” she said, walking over with her hands out, reaching for him. 

It didn’t surprise her that he met her halfway, lifting her up against him, his hands warm and welcome. Their kisses now were nearly obscene, and she gasped when his fingers slipped between her legs and found how wet she was. Will rested her up against the wall, and she realized why he’d been leaning there-- it was warmer than it might have been otherwise against her bare back.

Lilly wanted to tell him she noticed, wanted him to know she saw him for the thoughtful, loving man he was, but he was sliding his large fingers inside her and making her shake with pleasure.

“Stop,” she whispered in the process of dropping open-mouthed kisses on his shoulder.

“Lilly!” Will protested.

“It’s not forever, I just can’t  _ think  _ when you’re--”

He changed his stance from where he’d been holding her up with his other arm and knee to fully pressing his hips  _ almost _ where she needed him. “Go on, then,” he murmured into her ear, his moist fingers teasing her nipple.

“You’re an evil man, and you know it,” she told him, reaching down and praising herself for her lack of fancy fingernails as she slipped her hand carefully where they were nearly joined so she could stroke him. He moved his hands to hold her up so she could do it without being uncomfortable by the crush of their bodies. 

“I’m waiting… You still can’t concentrate, can you?” he teased.

“Oh, shush,” Lilly said. “I’m being serious, for once. I need you to know this, now and for all the minutes afterward: it will  _ always _ be you. Even when you’re not there, even when  _ I’m _ not  _ here, _ it will be you. It will be you when I’m by myself, it will be you when I’m not, it will be you until duty and circumstance chase away my grip on you and when that happens I’ll mourn the loss of us.”

Will’s expression was different than any she’d seen before except right when he’d made his wedding vows to her. It was the look of a determined, besotted man looking at the person he would do anything for. Lilly could only hope he could see the respect and genuine love she felt for him in those same moments. She stilled her hand, and he lifted his eyebrows a tiny fraction, just enough for her to know he was asking. She nodded and widened her legs. His next move was to brace himself with one hand on the wall and one at her hip as he thrust into her, holding her gaze at first until her eyes slid shut.

“You’re going to leave a mark,” Will said, and she opened her eyes. His tone was good natured, and he nodded his head to one side. Lilly, blissed out, leaned over to look past his shoulder at where she was holding onto his back. There were red marks on his skin from fingernails, where her hand slipped its grip on each thrust. “That’s, mmm, a good angle,” he whispered into her ear.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t even realize I was scratching you. I don’t think any of my other nerves are working,” Lilly said between gasps.

Will’s chuckle was filthy. “I can’t feel a thing besides the little shift when I--”

He started to thrust faster, and both of them moaned. 

“You people probably have a special ‘sex injuries’ dermal regenerator, or something,” Lilly observed, nipping at his neck. He hissed at the touch of her tongue there, freezing for a few seconds. “Wow, you weren’t kidding about this particular spot!”

Will’s response was to adjust their positions again so that he could touch her more intimately, his thumb brushing her clit as his fingers traced the place they were joined. Lilly had been close already, but this pushed her much closer. She sought out his mouth, loving the way he took control of the kiss, dominating and demanding. At this point she was just holding on while he took charge, and when he buried his face into her hair, she whispered that she loved him over and over, devolving into nonsense syllables.

“Can you come like this?” he asked, incongruously stilling his fingers and his hips.

“I don’t know, I think so,” she said truthfully, squeezing her inner walls to encourage him to start moving again. It worked, his hips stuttered, and he pulled his head back to look at her intently.

“Come for me, let me watch you fall apart,” he whispered, his fingers working their magic on her again. Somehow the pause in between had heightened the sensations, and she stuffed a fist in her mouth to stop the involuntary noise, rather than risking biting his shoulder too badly. Will tried to nose her hand out of the way, his hands busy.

“Noise!” she managed, right on the edge but determined to chastise him.

“Computer, employ sound dampening measures,” Will said, his rhythm not changing at all.

“That is… insane… that you can… focus enough to, oh!” Lilly struggled to speak until Will changed the angle of his fingers and she was lost, shaking and clenching in delight.

“So beautiful,” Will breathed, letting out a coarse groan of his own. “I’m close. My name… can you--”

“Will,” Lilly said, remembering how few times she’d ever said it. This time felt appropriately intimate and sacred.  _ “Will, _ let go for me,” she murmured, and he did, his hips snapping gracelessly to chase his pleasure. The power of it helped keep her upright, that and her arms around his neck, as he’d lifted his hands off of her to brace them on the wall. 

His head dipped down as he circled his hips one last time. “I’ve been known to bruise, when I get carried away,” he explained, sliding his hands from her shoulders down along her back and pulling her into an embrace. He moved away from the wall, still joined with her, until he laid her on the bed. Lilly lay against the cool bedsheets and shivered through an aftershock, coming back to reality when she felt a warm, wet cloth wiping her gently.

“Thank you, that’s lovely,” she said.

“I want nothing more than to crawl in bed beside you and breathe you in until it’s time to wake up, but…” Will’s voice trailed off in regret.

“But in order to get to do that sometime in the future, we have to sneak me out of this room and into yours,” Lilly finished for him.

_ “Ours,” _ he corrected her. “And I suggest you pick something nondescript to wear. In fact, you should replicate something and pack an outfit of yours to bring, that would leave the most realistic scene behind.”

Lilly sat up. “Is it me, or is it warmer in here? And I just now realized that I didn’t hear the computer respond to you! Did I just not hear it, or--”

“The computer is programmed for adaptive behaviors. They’re the most obvious when it comes its reactions to infants and children, but sex is definitely both recognizable and very mood dependent,” Will said matter-of-factly.

“Okay, that is extremely disturbing and helpful all at the same time!” Lilly said, reaching behind her for the blanket. She wrapped it around herself and looked up at the ceiling suspiciously.

“Surveillance was a valid concern in the early information age, but you should know the nature of it has changed drastically, and many laws written to address those concerns,” Will told her as he dressed.

“So a computer that knows you’re being intimate and doesn’t react verbally to your commands in case it spoils the mood doesn’t feel, I don’t know, invasive to you?” Lilly asked with widened eyes. She hefted the blanket up around her shoulders, but it was twisted, so it barely covered her thighs.

“You should know that the computer also raises the ambient temperature of the room, so you’ll notice that when you head over to the replicator.”

“Oh, that’s nice. And creepy,” Lilly said. She reached down to tap the controls for the door, and paused before she hit them. “I shouldn’t use the replicator anyway. That’s something they might check, if they’re trying to figure out when Lilly Picard left the ship. If there’s activity in here after she ‘disappeared,’ which I assume will be at the point of our wedding or when Data filed the paperwork, all Jellico has to do is ask who it was to undo all our scheming!”

“Good thinking,” Will said, coming over and folding her into a hug. “Activity around crew quarters is minimal during delta shift anyway. Wear whatever you like.”

“We’re just going to walk out of here, up a deck to your quarters, and walk into them?” Lilly asked, looking into her closet.

“Down, and  _ our _ quarters, remember?”

Will walked over and his warmth behind her made her drop the blanket. He started kissing her shoulders, and she made a happy pleased sound before sighing and bending down to pick up the blanket. She made the blanket and grabbed her panties from where they’d fallen when she’d moved the blanket they’d been laid on.

“I am liking the implication of how detail-oriented you are,” Will said warmly.

She grinned at him, but her smile faded as she gave his statement more thought. “If I were truly that focused, I would have made as little stir in these rooms as possible, once we realized I could leave them. I’d hate for what we just did to be the catalyst for Jellico to find me!” She reached into the closet and pulled out a simple red shirt and black, nondescript pants. Lilly pulled the pants on with quick, jerky movements, feeling angry with herself.

Will took the red shirt, hung it back up, and pulled out a teal one that looked surprisingly similar to the uniform shirt of the science officers. “Try this one instead, and do your hair up?”

“Good call,” Lilly said. She kissed his cheek and donned the rest of her outfit, heading into the bathroom area for her brush. By the time she was finished, Will had tidied the room, and there was no trace of their activities. “Did you do that to give me a task to focus on instead of self-recrimination?”

“Maybe,” he admitted. “Computer erase all record of occupation for this suite of rooms, back timed to Lilly Picard’s disappearance from the Enterprise. Execute this order two minutes after these quarters are vacated. Special authorization: Riker Omega Three, Delta Alpha.”

_ “Authorization accepted.” _

“That will hide the order unless overridden by Captain Picard or anyone with the rank of Vice-Admiral or above. It’s a special command authorization meant to be used only when Starfleet security is threatened. A record will be placed in my file, but due to its sensitive nature, cannot be questioned unless I’m placed under review,” Will explained, a serious expression on his face.

“Won’t you have to go through that kind of a review to get your own command?” Lilly asked, distressed.

“That’s the beauty of it: this entire mission is sensitive. It is doubtful they’d be interested in risking that to question me about a simple command like this,” Will said, reaching down and taking both of her hands in both of his. “By the time that happens, we’ll have come up with a completely reasonable explanation.”

“That does make me feel better,” she said.

“Good. Now, my marital status isn’t widely known, and you’re dressed similarly to a subordinate. I’ll use the replicator--”

“Which won’t matter now that you’ve told the computer to erase all record of occupancy?” she interrupted.

“Exactly. I’ll replicate myself one of my own uniform shirts.” He did just that, and before Lilly could object, he placed his civilian shirt on the surface of the replicator, and it shimmered and disappeared.

“No! I liked that shirt!” she exclaimed. “It really brings out the blue of your eyes.”

“So did I, but I have the blueprint for it saved,  _ and _ it’s not the only one from my closet,” he said. “Nice to know you noticed, though.” The admiration in the blue eyes she liked so much was gratifying.

Lilly watched him don the uniform shirt and noted the way his shoulders and back were straighter once he was dressed in it. He was fully in character as Commander Riker, now.

“Can the replicator replicate something placed on the tray, or will it disintegrate like your shirt?” she asked, suddenly remembering her larger journal.

“It can, if you give it the correct commands before laying it down. There’s a setting to reverse that, and another to always require a command, turning the tray area into a simple surface,” he said.

“That makes sense. I can imagine Worf coming home from a shift to find his quarters filled with replicated Bat’leths-- though I suppose they don’t fit in the first place,” Lilly said, laughing. She went over to her computer desk and picked up the notebook. “Would you say the correct command for me? I hate to leave it behind, but I feel like it would be suspicious if I don’t.”

“Does it say anything about who you really are?” he asked, holding out his hand for it.

“No, I thought that would be dangerous for everyone involved,” she reassured him. “It’s just a simple diary, mostly to help me keep the habit up.”

“I’m grateful for that, then,” Will said, speaking a few commands into the replicator. He placed her journal down and then removed it after a few seconds. After a few more, an identical journal appeared.

Lilly walked over and flipped through it. “That’s uncanny! I would have thought it would be too difficult to replicate, what with all the pages of handwritten words.”

“It replicates whole books, though I do think it searches the database for them and replicates via those pre-existing files, where possible,” Will said. “Shall we, then?”

“Shit, I guess you have a full day of duty to report for in the morning, don’t you? I’m sorry,” Lilly told him, walking over to the door with her notebook. She had to leave her PADD behind, but that was undoubtedly backed up somewhere.

“Keeping you safe and with me is worth a little missed sleep,” Will said. He reached down and squeezed her hand, and then did a little roll of his shoulders before schooling his face into a serious, businesslike expression.

Her heart pounding, Lilly opened the door and closed her eyes as she started to cross the threshold. 

Nothing stopped her. No alarm went off in the corridor, either, though she supposed that had more to do with her current identity as Elizabeth Riker than any lack of pre-existing alarms. Without her needing to ask him to, Will turned away from Jellico’s quarters toward the turbolift on that side. She didn’t relax inside it, holding herself like she imagined a junior science officer might stand beside the first officer of the entire ship.

When Will stopped in front of the double doors of his quarters, Lilly was surprised to see that his name and rank was listed on them, something she hadn’t noticed the first time she’d been there. That probably had more to do with the Ferengi gun pointed at her and the kiss they’d shared than any inattentiveness on her part, she realized.

They stepped inside, and after the door closed, Lilly let out a long, relieved sigh. “I really expected something to go wrong, there!”

She looked around for where Will had gone and saw him standing at the replicator. Instead of being nosy, Lilly looked around the room with the eye of someone sharing the space instead hiding there, as with her first experience there. There were more plants than she would have expected, and his trombone was still resting prominently against the wall. Will had quite a few large books on a low shelving unit not visible from the door, and she walked over to look at them.

“Will this do?” Will asked her. Lilly looked over to see that he was holding up a soft-looking nightgown in the command red color she loved so much. It didn’t really qualify as negligee, but it did look like it would hug her body a little bit.

“Thank you!” she said, walking over to take it from him. It felt like a cross between silk and cotton, thin and shiny without seeming cheap. “I’m a little surprised it’s not completely made of lace, or something!”

“That can be arranged,” he joked, heading for the bedroom. “I want to stay up talking to you, but I think I’ll need all my wits about me tomorrow.”

“Of course,” she told him, pausing at the doorway. The bed was small, but she hoped neither of them would have to sleep on the couch. “Will we fit?”

Will Riker turned out to be the champion of undressing and dressing quickly, which reminded Lilly of the ladykiller reputation she’d been warned about all those months ago. He hopped onto the bed, rolled onto his side, and threw an arm out.

“Unless you sleep like a furnace or don’t like being touched when you’re sleeping, we should be fine.”

Lilly put on her new nightgown. It fit perfectly, and she was struck by a large yawn while she was in the process of folding up her day clothes to hide them in his closet.

“Good thinking,” Will said sleepily as she climbed into bed beside him.

“I’ll hide in here tomorrow, just in case,” she said, kissing his cheek and then turning onto her side. “Are you sure you want me to sleep on your arm? What if it’s--”

A slight snoring sound told her that Will had fallen asleep.

8888888888

Will walked onto the bridge of the Enterprise the next morning with a healthy respect for Lilly’s ability to ignore noise and fall back asleep. His alarm wasn’t too loud, but there was a certain amount of waking up that was bound to happen when you were sleeping intertwined with another person.

He’d  _ really _ missed that about being in a relationship, and the fact that it was  _ Lilly, _ and that she’d slept wearing her ring,  _ his _ ring, well… that was a thousand times better than it ever had been before. Will had fallen asleep without thinking about how much he might disturb her in the morning-- he’d really avoided thinking about all the accompanying things that came with a new relationship, mostly because he hadn’t had much time to --but he had found the reality was guilt free.

Lilly had simply nuzzled a sleepy kiss onto his shoulder, rolled over (taking nearly all of the blankets with her), and fallen back into a deep, undisturbed sleep.

“You look better rested than I expected, all things considered,” Deanna whispered to him when he walked over to her on the bridge.

“I needed to be, today,” Will said grimly. Then, he grinned. “But, yes. Unexpectedly so.”

“I’m glad,” she said.

A few minutes later, Jellico came out of the captain’s Ready Room and looked around. Will got the distinct impression that he was looking to see whether everyone had showed up for their shift, but he thrust that thought aside as ungracious. He didn’t  _ like _ Edward Jellico, but no one got to be temporary captain on a galaxy-class starship by suspecting their crew of skiving off duty.

“Your little friend is having a sulk, I think,” Jellico said, coming over to stand beside Will.

“Friend?”

“Picard’s ‘niece,’” the captain said, with audible scare quotes. “She wouldn’t answer her door this morning.”

“Ah,” Will said, feigning a frown. “Well, maybe she likes to sleep in.”

“You’d think she would be spending as much time awake as she could, knowing she’s likely to be put in stasis as soon as I can arrange it,” Jellico said wryly, glancing over at Will conspiratorially.

Will realized that the man had used ‘friend’ ironically.

“Honestly sir, I wouldn’t know,” he said, shrugging in as friendly a way as he could manage. This was a command challenge, just like any confrontation with a hostile alien race, and Will was  _ good _ at those.

“Data, how long until we rendezvous with my ship?” Jellico asked cheerfully.

“Two hours, fifteen minutes, sir,” Data answered.

Jellico turned and leaned in to say something quietly to Will. “You didn’t lose Picard’s fish, did you?” he asked.

“No sir,” Will said, allowing himself a tight smile.

“Good, good. I’ll be finishing up my report, then.”

“Yes, sir,” Will said dutifully, despite the fact that the door to the Ready Room had closed already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note: Chapter title is another song from Hadestown
> 
> (Orpheus): That’s what I’m working on, a song to fix what’s wrong. Take what’s broken, make it whole. A song so beautiful it brings the world back into tune--back into time. And all the flowers will bloom when you become my wife.
> 
> (Eurydice): Oh, he’s crazy! Why would I become his wife?
> 
> (Hermes): Maybe because he’ll make you feel alive.


	22. Accept the Things You Cannot Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Captain Jellico leaves the ship with less than he expected, and leaves more of a question behind than is welcome, and Worf's gesture of welcome is more than either Will or Lilly could have ever hoped for.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for how long this took to post! I have been writing an original fantasy novel in the interim, a twist on the fairy tale of Rapunzel (it's a guy, and he's trapped underground instead of in a tower! Also, they overthrow the government).
> 
> This story is basically a labor of love for the TNG series, and I have more that I want to add to it in a sequel. I can envision at least one powerful scene that dovetails with the Picard series. Thank you for your patience, I hope you're all safe during these uncertain times.
> 
> I have a sequel planned which involves some upcoming episodes and jealous Q!

###  Chapter Twenty-Two: Accept the Things You Cannot Change

_ “Crusher to Riker?” _

“Riker here,” Will responded immediately.

_ “I have a patient here that is eager to return to duty.” _

Deanna turned to him and smiled brightly. Will tapped his communicator. “I’ll be right there.”

Fixing a neutral expression on his face, he went to inform his current captain, tapping the annunciator outside the Ready Room.

_ “Come!” _

Will stepped into the doorway, but not all the way inside. “Sir, Dr. Crusher has requested my presence in Sick Bay.”

“I’ll come out onto the bridge, then,” Jellico said, standing. He traced his fingers across the desk. “I’ve already had my things transferred to the  _ Cairo.” _

“Very good, sir,” Will answered automatically. 

“I don’t suppose you two would like to stop by and collect Miss Picard on your way back here?”

“Is that a request or an order, sir?” Will asked, his eyebrows raised. Jellico walked over to face him in the doorway. Unexpectedly, he smiled.

“Four days ago I would have seen that answer as insubordinate,” he observed. He tipped his head to the side and Will saw that there was a hint of amusement in his expression. “Today, though, I see it for what it probably is: a request for information. If you show up at her quarters with anything less than a direct order, she’ll eat you alive, won’t she?”

Will allowed himself a thin smile. “Yes, sir.”

“I’ll do it myself, then. Carry on.”

“Thank you, sir.”

Will allowed the relief that this man would soon be off the ship and out of their lives to show on his face, knowing it would be interpreted as a different kind of relief. He nodded deferentially and headed up to the turbolift.

The next hour would be decisive, but at least he had the transfer of captaincy to look forward to.

8888888888

Lilly dreamed she and Will were holding their wedding ceremony in a beautiful valley overlooked by snow-capped mountains. The air was fresh-smelling and the temperature just right. As she smiled at the small but dear number of guests in attendance, she realized that it must be the holodeck. The created location was probably Alaska, a place she’d heard Will speak about with respect and nostalgia, but had never visited herself.

She tried to look down at her dress, but the bouquet of flowers she was holding kept blocking her view, despite trying to move her hand away so she could see. She, Will, and Data were all inside a large gazebo. She was standing at the railing looking at the guests, who were all faced away from her. Data and Will seemed deep in conversation, and Lilly decided to walk down and mingle with the guests. She and Will were already officially married, after all, and this was just a formality, a way for their friends and loved ones to witness the ceremony.

It wasn’t until she’d passed Will and Data in their dress uniforms twice that Lilly realized that there was no break in the railing, no way down from the pavilion they were standing inside. She threw down the bouquet and put both of her hands on each section of railing to shake it, searching for a weakness or a join that would show the place they were able to exit, but she couldn’t find it. Will’s voice had gotten more and more upset sounding as she searched, and then Lilly heard a small, sad voice.

“Father, why can’t we see Lilly anymore?”

It was Alexander’s voice, and the sadness and resignation in it pulled at her heart. She stopped to listen.

“She is lost to us, son,” Worf answered.

_ ‘No!’ _ Lilly shouted in her head, unable to vocalize it.  _ ‘I’m right here! I just need help!’ _

“Aren’t you going to fight to get her back?” Alexander asked, his voice raised, unhappy.

“I cannot fight time,” Worf replied. He was out of Lilly’s sight but she could picture the resignation that must be on his face.

“Lilly would fight time, if it meant she could come back to be with us,” Alexander said mulishly.  _ “She _ wouldn’t give up.”

_ ‘I’m fighting, Alexander!’ _ Lilly said, though no words were audible. She turned around, determined to simply bash her way through the barrier, but behind her was a wide gap in the railing, now, and Data and Will were nowhere to be seen.

She walked cautiously toward the gap, hoping there were stairs and a way down, but backed up when she saw someone approaching.

It was Captain Jellico, also in a dress uniform.

“It’s time to go,” he said, holding out a hand for her to take.

_ ‘No!’ _ She tried to protest, but the sounds she was trying to make were completely inaudible.

“There is nowhere on the ship that you can hide,” Jellico said. “Lilly Picard, report to the bridge,  _ now!” _

_ ‘That’s not my name!’ _ she shouted silently, desperately.

Lilly woke up, but while the Alaskan tableau faded, the sound of Jellico’s voice did not. His order echoed through the comm system, disapproving and harsh, and she shrank down in the bed, pulling the blanket around herself.

The thought that she might not get to see her friends in the crew if Jellico discovered her made her heart clench in her chest. She missed them all, Worf and Alexander in particular. Thanks to Jellico’s restrictions, she had been completely unable to contact him. Now, she was regretting her choice not to try harder. The room around her felt too large to conceal her from Captain Jellico if he somehow used the ship’s computer to search room by room for her-- and she knew, thanks to Captain Picard and Will’s statements to her in the past, that those with his rank did have the power to search even private rooms’ recordings.

Lilly gathered up her courage and stood, and it was then that she noticed a pile of clothes she hadn’t seen the day before. There was a note on top of them.

_ Replicated some clothes for you in case you didn’t feel comfortable  _

_ leaving the bedroom. If you’re looking to stay presentable,  _

_ avoid wearing the things in the bag. _

_ Love you, _

_ Will  _

They were beautiful. Two pairs of black leggings like she usually wore, a couple of red shirts, a long, comfortable-looking dress, and though it killed her, Lilly resolved to wait to look in the bag so that Will could see the expression on her face when she saw the items, no matter what they were. Knowing Will, they could equally be lingerie  _ or _ shapeless blobs of cloth.

She hoped they were lingerie.

It didn’t take long to get dressed, and when she was done she pulled out the notebook she always had with her. It was sheer luck that this one was new. She’d grabbed the other two to bring with her, not willing to leave them behind. Lilly had rationalized this as reasonable because, while carrying the small notebook around was something that most of her friends knew she did, the idea that she’d filled it up and replaced it might not be as widely known.

Will had replicated an extra pillow and blanket for her, just in case, and she took these with her into the bathroom area and shut the door. If there was even a slight chance that Edward Jellico would search the room feeds of all of her friends on the crew on the off chance that one of them was hiding her, she wanted to be out of sight. 

She seriously doubted even 24th century humans were comfortable with the idea of surveillance in their bathrooms.

With her small pen and tiny notebook, Lilly started writing letters to her friends on the crew in case their plan failed. The clothes she’d snuck out of her old quarters in were hidden in Will’s closet along with the rest of what he’d replicated for her (except for the bag, which she had with her in the bathroom, because if she  _ was _ discovered, she was going to look inside the damned thing!), and there was no trace of her in the bedroom.

With any luck, Jellico would believe that Q had taken her off of the ship with no fanfare, and that was worth an uncomfortable day spent sitting on the floor.

8888888888

“I didn’t really  _ need _ you to come, but I wanted him to walk onto the bridge with you at his back,” Beverly told Will as they walked into Sick Bay. She had been waiting outside in the corridor, tapping a PADD against her leg.

“That’s kind of you, but what’s the real reason?” Will asked, looking down at her with a raised eyebrow. He knew her very well, not just from serving together but as a fellow actor in her productions.

“Captain Jellico held Jean-Luc’s freedom in his hands,” Beverly said in a controlled but unhappy voice, too low for Picard to hear from where they stood across the room. “I believe the psychological torture he suffered was worse than the physical torture, which was still substantial for a man his age. He’s always said that diplomacy has a component of confidence--”

“And knowing you trust the man at your back is a source of confidence,” Will finished for her.

Beverly nodded.

“Stop conspiring against me over there. I’m not an invalid!” Picard called out, straightening up from where he had been fiddling with his shoes. He squared his shoulders and tugged down his uniform before walking over. Besides looking like he wasn’t well rested, Jean-Luc Picard was perfectly himself.

“I promise you, sir, that I’ve been conspiring  _ with _ you this whole time, even when you weren’t here,” Will admitted.

“Well, don’t tell me everything, yet. My plausible deniability may be thin, but it could be key.”

“You’re up for this?” Dr. Crusher asked Picard.

“Are you all up for waiting longer?”

Will shared a look with Beverly.

“I thought not.” With that, Captain Jean-Luc Picard started for the door.

“I’ll let you know,” Will told her before following his captain.

In the turbolift he looked straight ahead but could feel Picard’s steady gaze. Will’s hand went to his waist, ostensibly to tug at his uniform in case something was askew, but he knew it wasn’t.

“Halt turbolift,” the captain said.

Will turned and lifted an eyebrow.

“You know, Beverly’s hounding aside, I suspect no one but Counselor Troi has bothered to ask  _ you _ how _ you _ are,” Picard said. “Far be it from me to liken Edward Jellico’s command style with torture--”

“The less said about  _ that _ analogy, the better,” Will said, clearing his throat. “I appreciate the question, sir, but I won’t really be able to answer you until after our next interaction.”

There was a pause, and then Picard told the computer to resume. “I presume that if there was something I could do to help, you’d have told me already?”

“Yes, sir,” Will said. Then, rethinking his statement, right as he felt the speed change in preparation for stopping at the Bridge, he added, “Avoid volunteering information, maybe?”

The doors opened before Picard could respond.

“Captain on the Bridge!”

Will was looking right at the temporary captain as Jellico spoke those words. He’d chosen to look for the man in the hopes that he would look discouraged, frustrated that he’d been thwarted by Lilly. He hadn’t expected Jellico to offer the olive branch of recognition to Picard like that, and what was more, the one person who should feel the most respected by that statement was the one who likely didn’t recognize its significance. Nothing about Jean-Luc Picard’s demeanor showed that he understood what had just happened, but the expressions on his fellow crewmates’ faces showed they did. Will shared a long look with Deanna as they walked over to Jellico.

“Just the way you left it, maybe even a little better,” Captain Jellico said to Picard.

Will hoped his death glare would be overlooked by the necessity of the two captains’ conversation. There was nothing  _ better _ about the Enterprise that had anything to do with Edward Jellico, except perhaps his departure.

It seemed at first like the man might leave peaceably; it took no discussion or persuasion to get him to transfer the command codes back to Picard.

“I relieve you, sir,” Picard said solemnly.

“I stand relieved,” Jellico responded, a slight uptick in his tone. He walked over to the walkway that led up to the turbolift, then turned. “It’s been an honor serving with you,” he said as if by rote, clasping his hands together in front of him. It was a beseeching gesture, but nothing about Jellico’s attitude looked like he intended to beg. “I would like to ask you one last time if any of you know the location of Lilly Picard.”

“Have you lost her?” Picard asked incredulously. “I was under the impression that you had confined her to quarters.”

“I’ve already checked her quarters. They’re empty.” Jellico’s frown was severe, and he stood with his hand clenched at his side as if waiting for an explanation.

“Computer, location of Lilly Picard?” Will asked confidently, turning away from Jellico to tip his head up toward the ceiling.

_ “Lilly Picard is not on the Enterprise.” _

He was facing the captain, and Picard’s obvious shock was gratifying. Will furrowed his own brows in an imitation of confusion and turned to look at Jellico, who looked both surprised and unhappy.

“Computer, when was she last detected?” Jellico snapped.

_ “Lilly Picard left the Enterprise at 12:41 hours yesterday.” _

He then asked, “Was she accompanied by anyone? This ‘Q’ entity?”

_ “The entity referred to as Q was not detected.” _

“As much as I would like to believe this report, Q’s power is such that he could conceal himself easily,” Picard said. 

“It’s definitely something he would do,” Will agreed. Jellico snorted.

“What  _ isn’t _ like him is to skip the chance to taunt us about it, quite frankly,” Picard added. He rubbed his hand over his face, looking somber. “I would have hoped his attachment would lead him to allow her to say goodbye.”

“You want me to believe that a group of people willing to commit  _ direct _ insubordination to rescue you, Picard, would simply accept that this valuable historical figure you’ve clearly come to care about is gone?” Jellico said, his words nearly slurring together in obvious fury.

“Insubordination, Number One?” Picard asked, making eye contact with Will. Will shrugged. His captain’s eyes gleamed for just a moment before turning hard as he looked over toward Jellico. “There’s quite a chasm between ‘Cardassian captive’ and what Q has done,” he said. “For one thing, if he intended to harm her in any way, I would be in irreconcilable danger.”

“You don’t strike me as much of a ‘what if’ man, Jean-Luc. Everything about this is wrong, and all of you know it!” Jellico said disgustedly.

“‘Accept the things you cannot change, have the courage to change the things you can, and--’” Picard started, before his contemporary finished the quote with him.

“‘--have the wisdom to know the difference,’ yes. I might not have the complete works of Shakespeare in my office, but I know the classics. I have to say, the person I’ve seen in the past twenty-four hours is very different from the Jean-Luc Picard I’ve had respect for over the years.” 

Edward Jellico shook his head, and Will saw the way his posture changed. For all that the man was a control freak over his environment, Jellico had little control over his body language, it seemed. His shoulders slumped, and his hands relaxed from the clenched fists he’d been holding during the first part of the confrontation. Slowly, he looked across the room, holding the gaze of each person there. A few of the lower ranked crewmembers looked down, but Worf and Picard held steady. Will was last.

“I’m no longer surprised at your behavior,” Jellico told him. Will lifted his chin. “I’d be more surprised if you were the principled leader your file claims you to be.”

Will clenched his jaw and held the man’s gaze rather than react. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Picard step forward, but Jellico raised a hand, tiredly.

“Don’t bother. I know when I’m not welcome. You don’t have to worry about a report dogging your steps, as I’m sure you’re aware.” Spreading his hands wide, he stalked toward the turbolift. “What could I say that wouldn’t destroy my credibility?”

“Edward--” Picard said.

Jellico turned on his heel right as he was about to step into the lift.  _ “Don’t. _ Don’t you  _ dare. _ You can expect me to pretend I’m proud of my role in risking war with Cardassia to rescue you, but you can’t ask me to leave here with any kind of a positive opinion of your judgment. At least  _ I _ won’t be the one disappearing when we find out you were wrong.”

With that, Jellico stepped backwards into the turbolift, his baleful gaze fixed on Picard right up until the door swished shut.

Silence reigned on the bridge for a full minute. Will let out a heavy breath.

“I suppose he was at that level of intensity the entire time he was in command?” Picard asked, a tiny hint of amusement showing itself in his eyes. He sat down stiffly in his chair and shook his head before relaxing back into the seat and letting out a breath of his own.

“Every second. Even at our introduction,” Will confirmed. “Sir?” he said, his eyebrows rising as he tipped his head toward the Ready Room. He knew Picard would see this as an invitation to explain Lilly’s mysterious ‘disappearance.’

“I’d like to say a firm goodbye to the  _ Cairo _ before I move out of this chair, if it’s all the same to you, Number One.”

Will grinned. “I completely understand.”

8888888888

Will was in a good mood by the end of his shift. After he’d explained the quirks of official and unofficial identity to Picard, the two of them agreed that both files (Lilly Picard and Elizabeth Riker) should be locked down to severe permission levels, separately. They created a ‘special case’ for those permissions. As far as the ship was concerned, Lilly Picard had left the ship. Should someone ask where ‘Picard’s niece’ was, they would get an response similar to that when someone was trying to locate Troi or Crusher. Both Will and Jean-Luc understood that it was quite possible for staff from the Enterprise to be transferred at some point to the  _ Cairo,  _ to say nothing of coincidental conversations in the future mentioning Will’s wife.

He was looking forward to seeing his wife, but when he walked into his quarters, there was absolutely no evidence of her existence. Telling himself that this had been the plan all along, Will moved from the common space into his bedroom. The bed was empty, the closet was empty, and even the clothes she’d left in the closet seemed to be missing.

Frantic, Will slammed his hand on the controls for the bathroom door, convinced that they’d been double crossed by the volatile Jellico. 

The room was chilly and dark. Lilly was on the floor, wrapped up in her replicated blanket and surrounded by the clothes he’d created for her. She had a neatly-stacked pile of notes beside her, and she was hugging her pillow. The stress melted from her expression when she saw who had walked in, morphing into a look of love that made him stand a bit straighter to see it.

“More notes?” he asked, nodding to the stack of mini-notebook pages.

“I wanted to say goodbye to everyone personally, in case he found me,” she whispered, a haunted look crossing her face.

“He’s gone now,” Will said, crouching to help her pick up the objects around her.

“You’re sure?” Lilly straightened up and stretched with a wince.

“He didn’t go easy. Told us we were in the wrong and would likely reap the costs for it,” he told her.

“He’s probably not wrong.”

“I’m happy to reap the benefits of his absence and your presence. Beyond that--” Will’s words were stopped by Lilly’s enthusiastic kiss. Her nose was cold, and he took it upon himself to warm her up the best way he knew how.

8888888888

It took Lilly over a week to feel comfortable enough to visit her old quarters. She’d wanted to allow the cold fear of being taken away from the Enterprise to completely leave her bones first.

The cold returned when she walked inside and found a letter addressed to ‘Lilly Windsor’ on the table. Before she could even reach for it, Will had growled out a guttural ‘ _ Jellico!’ _ and snatched it up.

“Let me,” Lilly said quietly. She had worked hard each night to rid herself of her fear as she’d lain next to Will’s strong, warm body. She walked over to him and took the letter, settling her free arm around him to do it again.

“Why do I suddenly feel like an oversized teddy bear?”

Lilly kissed his chest. “Because you are. Okay, here we go.”

The letter was folded in thirds, and she lifted the last part to see the signature was indeed from Jellico, as she’d expected. There was something so empowering about the way that Will’s entire body tensed beside her when he saw the signature. At that moment, she felt both protected and overprotective; no matter what Will said about avoiding the Sword of Damocles atop of the two of them, she could tell that he would find it incredibly difficult not to protect her with every weapon he could bring to bear. If there was anything she could do to prevent him from risking his career in her defense, she would do it, Lilly told herself. William T. Riker  _ deserved _ a captaincy.

She unfolded the single page so that both she and Will could read it silently.

> _ Dear Ms. Windsor, _
> 
> _ I have no illusions about your strategic prowess. I have been outmaneuvered, and written persuasion is my only recourse now. _
> 
> _ Whether or not you feel secure in the knowledge that as long as Jean-Luc Picard exists you are safe, this is an illusion. There are countless changes that you have affected all over the ship. As I write this, I realize that Picard’s arguments have validity-- you could indeed have more of a corrosive reach on Earth, and if you are equal to your promises to keep this greatest of all secrets, all SHOULD turn out well. Given that the English monarchy existed for hundreds of years as a simple figurehead until your ascendancy, I am not comforted by these facts. _
> 
> _ You, young lady, are a radioactive weapon. Just like the clothing of the brave men who futilely fought the fire at Chernobyl in your infancy, every person who puts on your acquaintance is forever altered and poisoned by their association with you. For THEIR sake, then, I beg you to reconsider your active participation in this century. As a captain’s relative, your access to upper-level Starfleet officers is unconscionable. If you must flout my advice, find a small colony on a planet far-flung from Earth and settle down to a solo existence. _
> 
> _ The future of humanity depends on your good judgment. _
> 
> _ ‘God save the Queen,’ God save us all. _
> 
> _ Edward Jellico, Federation citizen, Stardate [redacted]. _

When she was finished reading, she let the letter fall from nerveless fingers.

“Don’t listen to him.”

“Will…” Lilly didn’t look up. She felt frozen again, despite everything.

“No,  _ listen to me,” _ he said, reaching one long arm out to snag one of the lightweight chairs at the table to perch on the edge of it. He gripped her hands in his and looked up at her, their heights more equal thanks to his seated position. “That man--” Will pointed with their joined hands. “--doesn’t understand anything but control. Everything he does is filtered through that lens. He’s angry because no one is listening to him! He came into a situation where he didn’t have all of the facts, didn’t spend any time listening to those that  _ do _ have the facts, and pronounced judgment based on whether  _ we _ listened to  _ him! _ Don’t fall into that trap, Lilly. This is every bit as nuanced as the crew reassignments he gave us on the first day he was on the ship.”

“He gave those orders thinking that was what the ship needed to be safe,” Lilly whispered.

“And in the worst, most chaotic way, he demanded we implement them. This is no different.”

Lilly finally looked at Will. His jaw was set stubbornly but his eyes were kind. Without meaning to, she burst into tears.

Instantly, she was surrounded by Will; his arms around her, his head resting against hers, his soothing words in her ear, his scent raising her spirits.

“I don’t want to be the person he’s implying!”

“You aren’t. You won’t. He doesn’t have anything left to attack but your confidence. He did the same to me.”

“What?” Lilly wrenched herself back to meet Will’s eyes. 

“Look at the fire in your eyes! Thank you, but don’t worry,” he said, wiping a tear from her cheek with a gentle thumb. “He told me he’d be shocked if I lived up to my records. It’s the same as using a chisel like a hatchet and complaining about its performance.” He stepped back and actually laughed. “He doesn’t know how to use anyone else’s tools or skill set.”

“ _ You _ clearly do. I’d bet any amount of something this century sees as valuable that what you just said is in a Starfleet de-escalation manual!”

Will’s eyes practically sparkled. “Don’t tell Deanna.”

Lilly laughed and then took a long deep breath. “Maybe I  _ can _ live with myself,” she said, unsure whether she meant it ironically or not.

Will leaned over and picked up a scrap of paper from the floor at their feet, handing it to her.

“Same handwriting,” he noted.

Immediately, Lilly handed it back.

His brows furrowed, Will read the few lines on it. Lilly watched him, her jolt of adrenaline from seeing Jellico’s script fading and easing by the way Will didn’t seem to tense back up upon reading what was written. Wordlessly, he held it out.

Instead of touching it, she leaned close enough to read it just as Will had read the original letter in her hands.

> _ If there’s no other advice of mine you’ll follow than this, then please find a way to limit your knowledge? Commander Data’s computer program with its restricted access is a good start. _
> 
> _ Make a better choice than Pandora. _

“He definitely doesn’t know you well enough to know better than to challenge you to listen to his advice,” Will remarked. When she looked up and quirked an eyebrow, he elaborated. “You’ve been known to deliberately flout advice you’re angry with.”

“He ought to follow his own, honestly,” Lilly said. She took the scrap from him, then retrieved the letter itself off the floor. “This is direct evidence that he knows of my existence and has given up trying to stop me. If he’s so concerned with my misuse of power, he ought to have realized the power this gives me over  _ his _ future, should anything happen to reveal my identity to Starfleet command.” She smoothed the page out and looked at it one last time, not as a threat, but as inculpatory evidence.

Will’s hiss of surprise was gratifying. “What are you going to do?” 

“Destroy them,” Lilly said. She strode over to the replicator and set both papers down, tapping out the command to dematerialize.

“Lilly, no!” Will’s lunge to snatch them away was too late. “Why?”

“This ends here. Those pages would burn a hole in whatever mental space I carried them, and you know it,” she told him. Then she reached out and smoothed her hand from his shoulder to his wrist. By the time she reached the bare flesh of the back of his hand, he’d stopped shaking.

“You’re sure?”

“I’m sure.”

8888888888

As Will leaned back against his interlocked fingers and let the sunlight warm his face, he heard a small voice from the blanket beside his and Lilly’s.

“Lilly?”

“Yes, Alexander?”

“Thank you for bringing Commander Riker. I really like his Alaska.”

Will could hear the happiness in Lilly’s voice as she answered.

“I do, too.”

Shortly after that, Will drifted off. When he woke up, he saw that Alexander was wading in the frigid waters of the nearby stream. Lilly and Worf were standing facing the young Klingon, deep in conversation. Will reached down and rolled up his trousers, his feet already bare.

“Cold enough for you?” he called out to Alexander.

“Ha!” Lilly said as he passed her. He glanced over to see her holding a hand out toward Worf. To Will’s surprise, the other man pulled something out of a pocket at the back of his baldric and dropped it into Lilly’s waiting palm.

Dawning comprehension had Will walking closer. “Did you  _ bet _ that I would ask that?”

“I did!” Lilly said, grinning. He narrowed his eyes at her, but she was entirely undaunted and adorable at the same time.

“Commander, I see you’re about to join my son in the stream, but may I have a moment of your time?” Worf asked deferentially.

“Of course. You know it’s Will right now, right?”

“I meant no offense. The subject seemed too serious to disregard your title, sir.”

Will’s eyebrows shot up. He glanced at Lilly and saw that she had a fond smile on her face and was shaking her head a bit. He could read her expression as completely as if she’d said ‘just humor him, all right?’ aloud. He nodded to her and refocused on Worf.

“I’m happy to hear whatever it is you’d like to ask, Lieutenant.”

“I’ll be keeping an eye on Alexander while the two of you speak,” Lilly said quietly. She reached out and squeezed first Will’s hand, then Worf’s, and then walked the short distance to Alexander.

“Back before the captain was taken, you and Lilly filled out Federation forms of guardianship over Alexander, at my request,” Worf said, his hands clasped in front of him. His body language was tense, but Will could hear the tremor of intensity in his voice, different from when he was giving a security report for his Starfleet duties. “Just now, I asked Lilly if she would do me the honor of becoming  _ Soh-chim.” _

The weight of what Worf was telling him hit like a stunning phaser blast, warm and immobilizing before the shock wore off.

“Commander?”

“That’s quite an honor, Worf. I’m sure she is touched,” Will managed.  _ Soh-chim _ was more than a guardian in Klingon culture. It was like becoming an adopted family member, a person highly trusted and respected. For Worf to ask Lilly to stand as  _ Soh-chim, _ he was asking to be a permanent part of their lives, forever. Now Will saw why Worf had insisted on addressing him formally. As husband to Lilly, he would also be linked to Worf and Alexander. Something told him that he needed to tread quite carefully. Will could clearly see the connection that Lilly had with both Klingons, and he knew that while he liked and respected both of them,  _ his _ connection wasn’t on the same level. “Is there anything I can do to support your decision?” he asked, putting on a little of his ‘Commander’ voice.

He could tell he’d done the right thing when he saw Worf’s shoulders lose some of their rigidity.

“You’ve already done that, sir. You’ve kept her with us on the Enterprise.”

“For now,” Will said, looking around with appreciation at their wild surroundings. He wouldn’t be able to hope for a command as lavish as the flagship, and the view distance wouldn’t be quite as far on a smaller ship’s holodeck… But it would be  _ his. _ “For all we know, Lieutenant, you could be the one to ship out first, and be well rid of me.”

Worf’s smile was toothy. “Alexander and I look forward to bearing the burden of your acquaintance for many years to come, Commander.”

A squeal came from the direction of the stream, and both of them looked over to see Alexander tugging a clearly reluctant Lilly toward the water beside him.

“It’s so cold!!!” Lilly mouthed over at them.

“In truth, Commander, I cannot picture the life ahead without knowing either of you. The knowledge that this was not a path that was ever meant to be is difficult to reconcile,” Worf said quietly.

“I know exactly how you feel, Worf,” Will said.

In front of them, it appeared that Lilly was winning the tug of war battle, so with a wink at Worf, Will told the computer to adjust the stream a meter to the south. In seconds, Elizabeth Windsor, unintentional princess and future queen of a war-torn coalition of countries was soaked almost up to her knees in crystal-clear glacial spring water.

His wife’s screech of pure outrage was music to his ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The title of this story is based on a Pablo Neruda poem called 'The Saddest Love Song.' Will doesn't have to feel the words of this poem at the end of THIS story, but both he and Lilly know he will eventually.  
> Here is some of the poem, but not all of it:
> 
> I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.  
> I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.
> 
> On nights like this, I held her in my arms.  
> I kissed her so many times under the infinite sky.
> 
> She loved me, sometimes I loved her.  
> How could I not have loved her large, still eyes?
> 
> I can write the saddest poem of all tonight.  
> To think I don't have her. To feel that I've lost her.
> 
> To hear the immense night, more immense without her.  
> And the poem falls to the soul as dew to grass.
> 
> What does it matter that my love couldn't keep her.  
> The night is full of stars and she is not with me.
> 
> That's all. Far away, someone sings. Far away.  
> My soul is lost without her.
> 
> As if to bring her near, my eyes search for her.  
> My heart searches for her and she is not with me.
> 
> The same night that whitens the same trees.  
> We, we who were, we are the same no longer.


End file.
